


Minor Keys & My Major Girl

by Fleimkipa



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Aden is athletic af, All You Other Heda's Are Just Imitating, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Paris, Angst, Architect Clarke Griffin, Artists, Bars and Pubs, Clarke hates her job, Clexa, Clexa babies, Clexa family, Cute Couples, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fluff and Smut, Grief, Grief/Mourning, Guitars, Heda Lexa, I Blame My Brain, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kids, Lexa Dies (The 100), Lexa's parent's are alive, Light Smut, M/M, Madi is Lexa's relateable little sister, Miscarriage, Murven are parents, Musician Lexa (The 100), Musicians, Neighbors, Pregnant Clarke Griffin, Protective Lexa (The 100), Sadness, Sick Character, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Smooching, Some angst, Tags Are Hard, Won't The Real Heda Please Stand Up ?, adding tags as I go, clexa baby, clexa son, mention of miscarriage, moms, singers - Freeform, there is a clexa baby eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2019-11-13 03:49:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 40
Words: 122,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18024116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fleimkipa/pseuds/Fleimkipa
Summary: Lexa is a musicianClarke is an architectBoth women are artists regardlessThey meet in a bar, and their lives change for the better





	1. Chapter 1

**_May 25th, 2009_ **

 

_ When Lexa arrived home barreling through the door like a feral wild animal, Anastasia knew just exactly what was up. Excitement and reactions like this only signaled one thing, no school. In this case, no school for two months; summer break. She only saw a flash of long brown waves go left of her vision, and seconds later, that flash went right. Lexa opened her case and gasped.  _

_ Her expression soured, and she glared at the three-year-old sitting on the countertop. _

_ “Madi, why did you put your stickers on it ?!” _

_ “Lexa, please, quiet down,” Anastasia said, a hint of whine in her voice. _

_ The brunette sighed angrily, made a few sharp exasperated gestures, and left out the house with her music and guitar in her case. Madi looked up at Anastasia. _

_ “Oh, you should know better, you know how much she loves her guitar.” _

 

_ “A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly _

_ And is also known as a buster _

_ Always talking ‘bout what he wants _

_ And just sits on his broke….”  _

 

_ Lexa bobbed her head a bit and widened her eyes as she skipped the curse word. _

_ Last time she sang through it, some old lady scolded her saying something like, “Thame on you”, through her dentures and gums.  _

_ “So, no _

_ I don’t want your number _

_ I don’t wanna give you mine and--” _

_ “Excuse me, little girl, but aren’t you a little too young to sing that ?”  _

_ Lexa had been staring at the fretboard of her guitar the whole time to notice. She looked up to see a gruff older man. To her left was a booming clearing of a throat, she darted her head that way to see her father. _

_ “Umm,” Lexa looked back down bashfully.  _

_ “--Sir, aren’t you a little old to be picking on little girls ?” _

_ “I’m  _ **_not_ ** _ little,” Lexa mumbled under her breath. _

_ By now, she had focused on a nearby ant crawling into a crack in the sidewalk. After her father told the man off, he handed her a five dollar bill. _

_ “What do you say I give you a few more minutes here while I pick up groceries for your mother? Then afterwards we have to go pick up Aden from his little league practice.” _

_ “Really ?” _

_ He nodded, smiling, “Mmhmm.” _

_ “Thanks, Papa.” _

_ Her father seemed to be the only one in agreement with her performing on the streets. When Lexa first brought it up with her mother, Anastasia was quick to point out so much that could go wrong.  _

_ “No problem, kid, now get a record deal.” _

_ He walked off into a nearby farmers market, grabbing a basket, going through, and grabbing the things Anastasia had asked him to pick up. _

_ “Oh hello, do you know any Lady Gaga ?” _

_ Lexa looked up, wide-eyed and nodded, “What’s your name ?” _

_ “Costia.” _

_ “Costia, I like your name, also, do you like Bad Romance ?” _

_ The woman nodded and sat next to her, “I love it so much, mind if I sing it with you ?” _

_ “No, that’s fine. I love her music too.” _

_ Lexa strummed the first chord.  _

 

_ “I want your ugly, I want your disease _

_ I want your everything as long as it’s free…” _

 

_ The ten-year-old and woman pretty much attracted a crowd. This is what Lexa loved. Not the attention, fuck, she hated it, and it made her nervous. Rather, it was just people enjoying the sounds she produced. This was the one reason  _ **_why_ ** _ Anastasia decided to give her street performing a shot.  _

_ They were done and Lexa looked up with a smile, reveling in the applause. Costia nudged her side and presented her with two dollars. Lexa stared wide-eyed.  _

_ “Take it, you did really,  _ **_really_ ** _ good.” _

_ “You did too, keep it.” Lexa insisted.  _

_ Costia tilted her head to the side, “You sure ?” _

_ Lexa nodded, “I am. Thanks for singing with me, it was fun.” _

_ Costia got up, “No problem.” _

_ She gave Lexa a quick side hug and left. There was a pat on Lexa’s back.  _

_ “Come on.” Alexander held out his hand for his daughter.  _

_ Quickly, Lexa put her guitar up and went home with him. Ever time she was asked about what she “wanted to be” when she “grew up”, she said something pre-rehearsed.  _ **_Lawyer, like my dad._ ** _ This earned her responses like, “Aww.” or, “Such a daddy’s little girl.” and the one she constantly heard from her Uncle Gus, “Maybe I can get you to be on my side one day.” The thing was, Lexa wanted people to hear her.  _

_ If only they would look past the fact that she was a little too young to be singing on a bench in central park, and just listen to the notes. Just  _ **_stop_ ** _ and _ **_listen_ ** _ to the way they resonated so well with her because Lexa didn’t just pick  _ **_any_ ** _ song to sing, she picked the ones she connected most with. Because to Lexa,  _ **_trendy_ ** _ wasn't going to cut it, the lyrics really had to hit her right in the feelings. Otherwise, it was just as good as singing a nursery rhyme to a parrot. -- Utterly horrible, and monotone, save for the occasional screech. _

_ Sometimes it hurt Alexander to see and hear Lexa lie about her dreams. He could see right through her, her heart and passion was in the chords, not the office. A part of him wished he could out Lexa on her answers, but he didn’t ever dare to. Music was Lexa’s  _ **_thing_ ** _. It was a talent/gift that Lexa was just born with.  _

_ She reveled in notes and chords since she took her first second of breath. Lexa held onto her father’s hand as they walked to the Trikru Recreational facility. Thankfully, Aden’s practice was coming to a close, so the wait for him wasn’t that long. The five-year-old ran towards his brother and oldest sister. Alexander was the one to lift up his sweaty son and carry him on his hip.  _

_ “Papa, Papa, Coach Titus says I’m good with my swings” !” _

_ Alexander smiled at him, and brushed some blonde hair out of his face, “Of course you are. Come, let’s go home.” _

_ “Can we have soup for dinner ?” _

_ Aden loved soup. It beat eating anything else in his opinion, even nuggets, which were his second favourite. _

_ “We’ll see, but let’s go.” _

_ Alexander went home with his two children. When the trio arrived home, Anastasia looked at them with a smile, Madi in arms. _

_ “I’ll take the food, and dinner will be ready in a bit.” _

_ “Papa !” _

_ “Oh hello, darling.” Alexander set Aden down to run off and picked up the toddler calling for him. _

_ “Go change, please, Aden !” _

_ “Okay, mommy !” _

_ Lexa wandered into the kitchen with her mother. She loved to play for the woman while she cooked meals. She played around with a few chords and notes.  _

_ “Mom ?” _

_ Anastasia hummed, “Hmm ?” _

_ “If I… told you that…” Lexa stopped and shook her head going back to playing a gentle guitar riff. “Nevermind.” _

_ Her mother stopped dicing the vegetables and turned around, “What’s wrong, sweetie ?” _

_ “Would you be mad if I-- If I didn’t want to be a lawyer like Papa ?” Lexa asked, pausing her strums once more.  _

_ “No, sweetie, you don’t have to be. You could be a doctor or something else.” _

_ “I don’t wanna be a doctor, mom.” Lexa retorted. “I wanna do music, is that bad ?” _

_ Anastasia took Lexa into a hug, “No, it’s not bad, but I want you to be happy, and I want you to do something that will make you successful.” _

_ Lexa was a few days shy of her fifteenth birthday when she ran into the house with an offer for a record deal. _

* * *

 

 

**June 1, 2020**

 

“Okay, everyone, are you ready ?!”

The brunette was met with hoots and hollers from the one thousand people in front of her below the stage. If her mother were to see what she was wearing, she would have been smacked to Jupiter. The brunette wore a swimsuit, and nothing short of it. Her hair was in a lazy braid down her back. She also had a pair of Aden’s sunglasses, and her father’s fisher hat, for fashion, and heat protection purposes. 

Lexa began playing the riff that marked the intro of the song. It sounded like a combination of country, pop, and rock. The shiny black guitar had a few SpongeBob stickers that Madi had stuck onto it. A bit of good luck to her big sister while she was on tour since they would be away from each other for some time. Lexa appreciated it. 

No matter where she was she would still have a bit of family with her. Aden even signed his name on it, and gave her a ‘good luck spit’, which was just a way to cover up the fact that he was being a little too reckless and spit into the case accidentally. Anastasia sent her off with some sandwiches and food and an abundance of money that took nearly an hour for Lexa to agree on taking. One thing that her mother refused to admit, was that fact that she would miss seeing her first-born often. Lexa then began singing the first verse of the song.

The lyrics rolled off her tongue smoothly. The venue quieted down a bit, a faint murmur of the crowd gently singing along was there though. Everybody just wanted to hear her voice, so they kept it low. They just wanted to hear the beautiful gentle soprano voice being amplified by the microphone. Lexa.

The ironic thing about this song was after the heavy guitar riff played and really got the blood pumping, it faded into a ballad the downbeat into the first line of the first verse. Lexa had never told anyone what the song was about. Costia. Yeah, that woman she did that small gaga duet with so many years ago. Her mother had overheard her going over the lyrics and… she was amazed by the way Lexa could work with words. 

This song was Lexa’s  _ anthem _ according to the fandom. The brunette had no explanation to why she wrote that song, she just did. From her spot on the bench of central park, Lexa couldn't help but see how helpful of a person Costia was. She aspired to be like the woman. It was also from that spot on the bench late at night (Lexa had snuck out to watch fourth of july fireworks) that she noticed the woman’s silhouette go into a bar for about almost two hours, then exit with sagged shoulders, and three men following behind. 

The next morning, she was televised, and Lexa never got to sing that duet with her as promised. Costia was going to sing the high parts of the songs (that to this fucking day Lexa  _ still _ can’t reach), and Lexa would back her up with the guitar and the lower part. They loved each other not  _ romantically _ , but simply as friends. As musicians. Lexa was fifteen, when she wandered from her Uncle Gus’ funeral service and found Costia’s headstone; ten when Costia stopped sitting next to her on the bench. 

It was a few hours later that Lexa did the full research. Costia was beheaded in an alleyway, and her head was found in an abandoned mobile home complex where a notorious gang resided. For a while, Lexa did her best to try and forget about Costia as best she could. But, every time there was an occasional falter in her plan. So, Lexa thought about the last conversation she had with Costia, and wrote it down. 

At first, she was hesitant to record it, but she did. She was then hesitant to release it, and she was for a year and a half before she just did. Lexa strummed the guitar slightly louder as she went into the bridge. In her opinion, this was the best part. Like a lot of other songs, the bridge had a contrast to the rest of the verses and lines.

The venue was silent. When this song was performed, the fandom let Lexa have the moment with the song. It was almost as if it’d become silent protocol amongst themselves. Then, Lexa switched them from the melancholy mood by switching from Costia’s Symphony to Woods as soon as the last chord rung out. Woods, well, it was a song Lexa wrote about herself and her siblings, what bad little fuckers they were and still are.

Some lines were over exaggerated, but who cared? They were brats growing up. Pawns are pawns are pawns, and the world just worked  _ that  _ way. This was Madi’s personal favourite, mostly because there was a song written about her, and that was enough to make her feel like she was royalty.

Her friends, Anya and Lincoln stood in the front row chanting the lyrics. 

During the pause in between, there was a,

“Kiss your girlfriend !”

Lexa chuckled. Since she put that (edited) picture of Anya and herself for the album cover, she had so many people tweeting her questions pertaining to them being in a possible relationship. The picture was a joke, badly edited, with a lot of nostalgia to it. Hence the album’s name,  **Nostalgia.** Lexa contemplated putting a very memorable picture of her and her vandalized guitar, one where she looked royally pissed off, and ‘cute’ according to her mother. 

She was ten and pissed that her mother found it cute that Madi went ham on her stickers and took that out on her guitar, which was thankfully cheap, and Cars themed. 

“You guys... you know, Anh come here,” Lexa spoke into the microphone. “Anya and I are and have been best friends since the beginning of time. She and I are not dating, nor have we. We haven’t even actually kissed each other, that’s just a picture of me kissing a mannequin, and a friend in our circle fused a picture of Anya kissing her boyfriend at the time on top of it. My friend made it as a joke, and obviously, I feel really, like nostalgic when I see that picture. Which, is why it’s on the cover. We also edited it better.”

By now Anya made it onto the stage.

“Also, it’s Anya’s birthday, so let’s serenade her.”

Lexa made a gesture.

“No, Lexa.”

“I forgot to get you a birthday gift this year.”

Anya moved to get back off. Lexa picked her up and carried the girl over her shoulder.

“Fuck me being a damn lightweight,” Anya mumbled under her breath.

Then, Lexa and a few other thousand people sang happy birthday to Anya and that was that.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

* * *

 

Lexa sat down in the car headed towards the airport. She rubbed her eyes that were sunken with tiredness. She loved the shows and playing for people. After a while, she was alright with attention. Sometimes she did occasionally just turn away from the crowd, or not get as jumpy as she usually was onstage. 

The brunette crossed her left leg over her right, and she bit her nails looking out the car window at the people outside. Just a few years ago, she was amongst them or being walked over by people like them. To her, this brought a bit of a bit of… thankfulness or gratefulness. (Both very similar words, but one worked more than the other as far as sending the message sweetly enough for the best, ‘aww’ factor.) She requested for the radio to be turned on a bit low, and bounced her legs a bit. She hummed a bit.

Her phone buzzed.

 

**Anya: LMAOOOOO**

**Anya: these magazines are so desperate for a story**

**Anya: *open photo***

 

Lexa chuckled and put her hand on her mouth to contain her laughter.

“Bruhhhh,”

Her driver, Titus met gaze with her in the rearview mirror.

“Get this, Titus, ‘ _ Theories have arisen about singer Heda, based off of her gender.’  _ Yadda, yadda, yadda, oh here it is ! ‘ _ The young singer has been seen with a bulge in her pants.’” _

Titus laughed with her.

“I got the occasional jean penis, that means nothing !” Lexa skimmed the article further through. “And they picked on my Adam's apple !’

“Pay no mind to it…  _ Lexa _ .”

 

**Incoming Call: Madi**

 

“Hey, mouse.” Lexa joked a bit.

_ “Hey !”  _ Madi was a bit pissed off by Lexa’s dumb nickname for her. _ “How was your concert ?! We went out grocery shopping, so we couldn’t see it live. But mom says hi-- actually, she wants to talk to you now--” _

It was evident that Madi’s phone was snatched away from her, because the voice she heard next belonged to her mother,  _ “Hello, Lexa.” _

“Hey, mom.”

_ “How was it ?” _

“Good, I’m tired, and I’m on my way to the airport to get home.”

_ “Ask her if I can spend the night at her place, please.”  _ Madi’s voice could be heard distantly. 

Lexa chuckled, “Yeah, she can stay. Also, how’s Aden ?”

_ “He’s good, you know, he spends most of his time with his friends from baseball,” _ Anastasia answered. 

Lexa didn’t doubt this at all.

“And papa ?”

_ “He got a case, and he’s been working on it for a while. He says he’s almost done, but he ‘keeps finding more clues’.” _

“Yeah, well, tell him I said ‘hi’.”

* * *

 

 

**The Next Day**

 

“Lexa !”

“Hey --- Oh my !” Lexa stumbled backwards a bit as she was hit with the weight of her two younger siblings, and the family dog, Pauna. “You must’ve really missed me.”

“Yeah we did, you were gone for almost a year !” They insisted.

Ten months. Her first stop was New York City, a few hours away, and from there, she went upwards into Canada, then towards Europe, The Middle East, a few parts of Africa, Latin America, then, back up to America, and made a weird ‘u-turn’ backup to New York. This wasn’t the first time she went on tour, but her siblings were not fans of her leaving for a good couple months at a time. Lexa and the sound of her humming and playing her instruments were what kept sound from dropping in the house. Now, it was Madi’s constant complaining and arguing with Anastasia, that made sure silence never lingered in the walls of the Woods’ home.

“Oh, thank god you’re okay and safe !” Anastasia and Alexander ran downstairs like a pair of wild animals and hugged Lexa tight. 

“What do you mean? Of course, I would be fine.” Lexa furrowed her brows and chuckled, and she moved to hug her father.

Alexander picked her up a bit. 

“Can we go to your house ?” Madi was jumping up and down eager to go.

Lexa nodded, and Madi bolted upstairs to fetch her overnight bag. 

“How was it ?”

“Good, mom and dad,” Lexa answered with a smile. “Actually, I wanna get home fast, and take a shower. Bye, you guys, I’ll be back to bring Madi. Aden, you wanna come ?”

He shook his head ‘no’, “I’ve early morning practice, but since you’re coming back, we can hang out.”

“Good, bye.”

Lexa bidded a goodbye to the remainder of her family members.

“Call when you get home,” Anastasia said before giving Lexa another kiss to the cheek.

“I will.”

“Good luck with that one.” Alexander scoffed a bit, and raised his brows, slightly opening his mouth to laugh.

Madi retorted with a ‘matter-of-factly’ tone, “I’m not a bad kid !”

Madi took off towards Lexa’s car. Lexa chuckled, shook her head, and followed her sister out. One thing was definitely certain, Madi alone was nothing, but both girls together were-- not worse, rather, just double the obnoxiousness. 

“Don’t worry, they don’t get us, I’ll order pizza, and we can have a girls night.”

Madi exclaimed from her seat and raised her arms, “Yes !”

Lexa chuckled, as she turned right, out of the Trikru Place subdivision. 

“You’re the best sister ever !”

“I’m  _ the only _ sister you have,” Lexa said.

* * *

 

 

**May, 2009**

 

_ “No, that’s not right !” Clarke folded her arms and huffed dramatically to enhance the effect of her tangent.  _

_ Wells sat in front of her, arms also crossed, and they had been in that folded position for a couple of minutes.  _

_ “Well, I don’t like that pokemon, it barely has powers.” _

_ “It does. She does.” _

_ “Snorlax only  _ **_sleeps_ ** _ , Clarke,” Wells said this craning his neck forward, slightly narrowing his eyes as he said this in the calmest way possible.  _

_ “And she looks pretty doing it.” _

_ “How do you even know it’s a girl ?” _

_ The two friends found themselves at odds in the hallway of their parent’s workplace. Abby was set to pick Clarke up in two hours after her shift at the hospital. Which meant, Clarke would have to hold her stance, defending Snorlax for a good two more hours.  _

_ “Let’s just battle them okay? And pick a better one.” _

_ Clarke huffed, and picked her purple ds up, turning it on. Wells did the same with his green console. _

_ “Snorlax is  _ **_still_ ** _ cool.” _

_ Jake and Abby often argued that Clarke would make for a good lawyer, she loved to argue. Hell, last week she had tried to bargain with them for a later bedtime. It was granted, Clarke only wanted to go to bed at nine thirty as opposed to nine every night. _

* * *

 

_ “Hey, Clarke.” _

_ “Mom !” _

_ The blonde got up and began putting her things in her backpack. _

_ “Oh hello Wells, how are you ?” _

_ “Good, Abby.” Wells smiled and looked up at the woman. _

_ Abby gave him a gentle smile while helping Clarke into her light jacket. “That’s good, what about your dad ?” _

_ “He’s good too. They’re still in there talking, though.” _

_ “Hmmm, they spend quite some time talking.” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Bye, Wells.” _

_ “Bye Clarke and Abby.” _

_ The two managed to work out their differences in two hours. Abby said a quick hello to the two men in the lab, and she and Clarke went home. They drove through the city to get to their penthouse. Clarke played around on her Nintendo Ds. Occasionally, she looked up out the window. _

_ “Mom, why’s that girl singing on the street ?” _

_ Abby looked where her daughter was pointing out the window. Sure enough, there was a small brunette girl with a red guitar playing and singing.  _

_ “I don’t know, maybe she just wants too.” _

_ “Is she making money off that ?” Clarke was genuinely curious when she saw a woman hand the girl a bill.  _

_ However, they had already driven out of view to see if she received the money or not.  _

_ “I don’t know, Clarke.” _

_ “Then can I get a job ?” Clarke perked up, and her eyes widened. “I wanna job. I wanna make money.” _

_ Abby chuckled, “Slow your roll down, missy. You’ve got a good couple of years until you think like that.” _

_ “I just wanna buy more games with ‘em.” Clarke stood up on the seat on her knees and looked back to see that the girl was packing up. “That’s all.” _

 

* * *

**Mid-June, 2020**

 

Wells sat in the passenger seat popping his gum in his mouth.

“Ew, that’s fucking annoying and nasty.”

Clarke wrinkled her nose. She was one of  _ those _ people who hated anything that sounded close to ASMR. It was just disgusting to her. Which led to her wearing earbuds every time she went out to eat with people. 

“Sorry.” He straightened his posture and reached for the volume knob on the dashboard. “May I ?”

Clarke nodded. The two had been childhood friends for a while. A very long while. They never thought of dating ever at all. God, never.

When sound began to infiltrate the car, Clarke sighed into the sound of the soprano voice.

“Damn, whoever that is, I fucking  _ love  _ that voice.” Clarke swooned. “Oh my god, Wells, do you hear this ?! God, that guy is perfect.”

“That ‘guy’ is a girl.”

“Shit, she sounded a bit like some guy on youtube who sings, but damn, you hear that angelic fucking voice ?”

“My ears are up to par, of course, I do.”

Clarke made an obnoxious, ‘whoo !’ as she leaned back and reveled in the voice of this… fucking  _ angel _ who had this…  _ beautiful  _ voice. Definitely not from this earthly plane. 

“God, Clarke, you’re  _ so _ gay.” Wells chuckled.

“That amazing ass voice we just heard is of singer-songwriter,  _ Heda _ , she actually concluded her Nostalgia tour. Now, um, we are playing another one of her songs, so…. Fuck I’m really bad at being a radio show host--” The male voice was interrupted by the beginning of the next song.

Clarke kept driving, and just allowed Heda to serenade her ears. There was something about that voice that was just adding more euphoria to her mood. Bringing emotions out of her that weren’t there before. While sitting at the red light of the intersection, Clarke picked up her phone and made sure to add her as a ‘favourite’ artist. This would be something great to listen to on her way back home.

Songs passed, and Clarke and Wells were almost at the Griffin’s residence for the celebratory dinner. Her father was progressing the company, and it was being acknowledged. Not to mention, Clarke and Wells would be seeing the woman they grew up around again. They didn’t necessarily hate Becca, but she was also stoic a lot of times they were around her. But now, they were grown, and it was going to be odd, and quiet.

Clarke was sure that Becca was going to try ask them semi-personal questions. Last time she was invited to their usual Griffin’s family dinner, she did. However, since Clarke no longer lived with her parents, and her room had been stripped down and redecorated into an office for her mother, so hiding out with Wells during dinner wasn’t exactly an option.

“You charged your airpods, right ?”

Clarke nodded, “Did you ?”

She was met with a nod from Wells.

“You can sit next to me so you won’t get caught with them on, and I’ll have my hair down,” Clarke suggested.

This was premeditated as hell.

“I really hope my dad doesn’t say awkward shit, and then look at me, and I have nothing else to do but nod like a dumb person.”

Clarke chuckled a bit. As they got to the house, Clarke and Wells connected their wireless headphones to their phones and walked up into the driveway together. Wells was the one with the guts to knock.  _ Finally _ . Abandoning all morals, Clarke walked into the house.

“Hey, Mom and Dad, and, Jaha, you’re already here I--”

“Oh, you two are finally here !” The darker man’s voice was booming as he emerged from the kitchen with a smile and open arms.

He engulfed the two young adults.

“How are you two? How was the drive ?”

“Good.” The two answered. “How about, you guys ?” Clarke was the one creating small talk, while Wells made an excuse to leave and ‘go say hi to Abby and Jake’. 

“Oh well, the company is advancing at all, and since your dad’s promotion, he’s really been bringing a lot in this position.”

“I’m glad and proud. Let me guess, he’s really getting dressed, and my mom’s making ‘the best’ four-course meal ?”

Clarke had done this so much to practically see the pre-dinner events unfold before actually even getting any further into the house. Jaha nodded.

“Did you have an out of body moment just now ?”

Clarke chuckled, “Nah, I’m not you.” Clarke insisted. “I’m gonna go say hi to my parents.”

Thelonious nodded, as Clarke excused herself to go greet her parents. Sure enough, Abby was trying to take care of several pots and pans at a time, cooking chicken on one place, and stirring diced vegetables, and trying to mix lemonade in a pitcher.

“First of all, whoa, whoa, whoa, how are you even, I--”

Abby turned around and gasped at the sight of her daughter.

“Clarke…” She gasped into the name, and a smile formed on her face.

The blonde smiled and got closer to give her a hug, “Hey, mom.”

“How are you, honey?” Abby cupped Clarke’s face and looked her over. “Oh, you’re beautiful-- what’s that ?”

When Abby moved some of Clarke’s hair away and caught sight of the earbud, Clarke moved her head awkwardly to deflect it.

“I’m good, you ?”

“Good, I’m still at work and everything.”

“That’s good.” The blonde replied with a small reserved smile. “Need help ?”

“Yes, actually.”

For once, Abby was accepting help, and Clarke felt blindsided for a moment. Did she really move out almost a year ago? Then, Becca arrived, and Clarke was the one to answer the door.

“Oh hello, Clarke.” She was looked up and down by the woman at the door. “You’ve…  _ really  _ grown.”

Clarke gave her a friendly smile. Although, she could sense something off with Becca.  _ Eerie. _

* * *

 

Clarke and Wells sat side by side at the beginning of dinner. 

“Oh, I see you two have found your assigned seatings.” Jake joked a bit towards the young adults.

Clarke and Wells were listening to some music and did not catch the comment.

“Hey !” Jaha nudged Wells’ shoulder.

“Oh, sorry, um…”

Jaha sat up, cleared his throat, and glared at his son across the table.

“It’s fine, kids these days, they play music too loud, it’s making them deaf. Clarke didn’t even hear it.”

Clarke hated dinners like these. However, the mood was a little better with her listening to some music in her own mental space that sounded louder than the small talk at the table. Clarke got an incoming phone call and answered it.

“Hey, O ?” She put her hand over her mouth to make it look like she was politely chewing. “I’m at a family dinner.”

“Damn, want me to call you back ?” 

“Mmm-mmm.”

“Oh, alright.”

“Yeah, um, how’s your work been doing ?”

“Good.”

The blonde was an architect. A win in her parent’s book, but they were upset with the fact that she decided to work for Arkadia. Sometimes Clarke wished she would have maybe quit, but no, she loved her job, and she wasn’t going to do that. It was perfect for her, she barely ever actually had to go to the building. Her boss, Kane allowed her to work from home some days. 

The blonde loved her job personally, and it wasn’t until now that she was okay with pissing her parents off with it. At the end of the day, it was  _ her  _ job. 

She was actually making a much decent paycheck as her father, and that was something that her parents found hard to swallow. That’s what made Clarke ultimately move out. Wells was actually asked to bring her here. Under other circumstances, they could’ve been out at the mall with their extended group of friends, doing something much, much, more enjoyable. Her father hadn’t even spoke to her since she greeted him, and this whole ordeal was becoming uncomfortable to her.

“Soooo, how’s the dinner been going ?”

“It’s so awkward and quiet. My dad hasn’t even tried to look at me.”

* * *

 

She had enough. She sent Wells an apology text as she ran out the door. She just valiantly got up in the middle of dinner, and left. Throughout the whole dinner she felt uncomfortable and shunned. All that she could bring herself to do was turn on some music while she headed home. She always seemed to be the outsider in the Griffin’s family from day one. 

Her anger subsided at the sound of a song intro. She furrowed her brows in concentration as she turned the volume up, amplifying the soprano voice.

“I don’t know who you are, but you’re…. Really working wonders for my mood.”

The blonde sighed and relaxed. Suddenly, she felt okay as she continued driving down the highway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess you can consider this soulmate synergy. Idk if this is even considered a meeting...

 

**_November, 2020_ **

 

Lexa stirred in the bed. She winced a bit in pain. The twenty-two-year-old rubbed her eyes and groaned painfully.

“Hey, Alexa, or whatever the fuck your name is.”

Her parents bought her the Amazon device for her birthday and Lexa was taking advantage of it by being as lazy as possible. At the moment, Lexa’s body felt nothing but… sore. This had the brunette confused because she had done nothing borderline physically straining within the last two or so days. When she tried to get back up from the bed, Lexa only plopped right back down. The pain was mostly in her back.

 _Great_.

As soon as her arms felt the weight of the rest of her body, her joints hurt so much more. The device lit up.

“Can… can you see if I’ve got some ibuprofen or something. Like, check the inventory in my bathroom cabinet or….. ?”

“I’m sorry, I cannot do that.”

“Fuck you. You literally do nothing but recite Wikipedia.” Lexa cursed the device off and groaned.

Once again, she tried to get up but the pain knocked her back down.

“Searching Wikipedia.”

There was a groan being muffled by a pillow. After a while, Lexa felt the painful urge to pee, and she didn’t plan on washing anything until the end of the week, so she pushed through the pain, and got up. On her way to the bathroom, which was only a few feet from her bedroom, Lexa gave out a silent curse per step. What was wrong with her today? When her phone rang, Lexa groaned and let it go to voicemail.

Whoever it was could wait a day. A part of Lexa could hear Anastasia yelling at her to go to get some medicine. Maybe even insist on coming over and caring for her. Usually, this makes her feel incompetent to care for herself. In her opinion, she was a grown ass adult and didn't need anyone swearing pity on her.

Then, a part of her wanted to hear her mom yelling at her. For all the time she was on tour, she never got to get yelled at, and since she got back, she had been doing nothing _but_ writing songs, and occasionally taking her siblings out to eat. Right before Lexa even opened her mouth to tell Alexa to call her mother, her front door opened. There were quick clickety clackety footsteps coming up to her room. Speaking of yelling, Lexa screamed at herself for forgetting to check for ibuprofen while she was up in the bathroom, but the pain made it very forgetful.

“Oh dear god, Lexa !” Anastasia was worried when she saw the way Lexa was just carelessly sprawled on the bed.

“I know, I know. I look bad, and I feel really bad. Do you have any ibuprofen on you by any chance ?”

Madi jumped on the bed, only to receive a glare from her mother. Lexa winced painfully. The fourteen-year old’s mouth made a small ‘o’ shape, as a sign of remorse as she got up from the bed.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Lexa insisted, patting her younger sister’s head a bit to lighten the situation, and annoy her.

“Do you need anything in specific ?” Anastasia asked.

Lexa shook her head ‘no’ as she took the necessary dose. Anastasia rubbed the side of her cheek.

“Are you hungry ?”

Anastasia wanted to help Lexa. Lexa was nearly thrown back in time when Anastasia took care of her. A time when Lexa and Aden learned to put their coats on the hard way in cold (New York City) weather, with the flu or a really bad cold. The woman insisted Lexa lay back down. The brunette winced a bit as she leaned back.

Madi assisted, putting her hand on Lexa’s back to help her down.

“Did you work out or something ?” Madi asked.

She knew how much Lexa liked being fit-- if not bulky, so that would’ve probably been a rational explanation.

Her sister shook her head negatively, “Nah, I don’t have the energy for that.”

Anastasia went downstairs to get Lexa something to eat. Lexa didn’t recall falling into a slumber, but she did. Even in her sleep, she could still feel slight soreness, but it was definitely watered down. Madi sat on the bed with her playing on her phone. Most of the time growing up, this was how it was.

Someone would be sick, and the baby of the family would keep them company. Lexa ran her fingers through Madi’s hair.

“Mind if I braid your hair a bit ?”

“Nah, but I don’t really have hair ties.”

The brunette grabbed a section and braided it a bit. For a while, Lexa split it into three segments and weaved them over, around, and through. The two sisters appreciated the close moment.

“Lex ?”

“Yeah ?”

Before speaking, Madi just paused for a bit, thinking about what she was going to say.

“Did you miss us when you were gone ?”

When the younger girl looked back, Lexa gave her an ‘of course’ glare, “I did. Had you guys not had school, I would have taken you guys.”

“You could have taken us for summer, and then dropped us off the first week of August !”

“You know how mom is with her ‘quality family time’. But, if you pass your classes, and work hard, I will try to work something out, okay ?”

Madi nodded, “I just—- _I_ missed you, and every time I wanted to talk to you, you were at a show or rehearsing.”

“I-- Madi, you could have called me anyways I would have--- I would have made time for you. All of you, and mom, and dad, and Aden.”

Lexa tried to sit up but groaned a bit as she went back down. One thing was definite, her back wasn’t showing her any mercy. She gave out a silent prayer to be able to wake up the next morning, and _not_ be paralyzed.

“We’re sisters, you’re lucky we’re close. Just call me. If it’s daytime here, and nighttime wherever I am, you can still call me.” Lexa insisted. “Okay ?”

Madi nodded, staring straight forward.

“Madi, as your big sister, can I ask you a favour ?”

The younger brunette looked back at her and nodded, wide eyed.

* * *

 

“You’re crazy, I thought you were sick !” Madi exclaimed.

Lexa shushed her back, “I know, but this was something I had in mind before I even got on stage. This has been on for too long, I can’t just reschedule.”

“You do feel less sick, do you ?”

Lexa nodded a bit, stepping into some sweats and a shirt. Her back pain was still present, but it wasn’t too crippling anymore.

“Don’t say anything. I’ll leave you some money, and you and Aden can split it, or so whatever, order food. I don’t care. Just---”

“Cough up.” Madi held out her hand.

* * *

 

 

**_November, 2020_ **

 

The blonde woke up in the morning for work. When her eyes peeled open, she looked at her clock drowsily. As much as she liked her job, she hated having to wake up in the morning at ass crack of dawn hours.

“Clarke, turn your goddamn alarm off, and go to work !” Octavia yelled from her bedroom.

There were groans coming from the other nearby bedrooms. The blonde let it ring out for a bit. She swung both legs off the bed, and quickly hopped into the shower. The time was now close to five in the morning. Clarke let the water run over her body.

Lukewarm water trickled over her shoulder, some of it sliding down to her back, some of it running down the valley between her breasts. With care, Clarke lathered her hair with shampoo. For a minute she just stood there. When the water began to chill, Clarke took it as a signal to finish up and get out. Once she dried herself, she decided to go for something ‘business casual’ that Octavia insisted on picking out for her the night before.

The whole time, the bags under her eyes only got heavier. A part of her kept telling herself, _You’re Kane’s favourite, he won’t be pissed if you miss a day._ It was her system nearly every wednesday. Now, she slipped on her dress pants and flats, and lastly her blouse. While her hair air dried, she looked for some breakfast.

She grabbed her phone, and clicked on the spotify app, letting her music play while she made breakfast for herself and the rest of her roommates. Usually, with one sip of her coffee she would be awake, but now, she still felt tired. _Very_ tired.

“Hey, princess.”

“Hey, Bell.”

Her friend was buttoning up his shirt and getting ready for work too. He grabbed a mug and poured coffee in, drinking it plain.

“Sleep good ?”

Clarke shrugged.

“Uh oh.” Bellamy said over the rim of the ceramic.

“Well, not enough.” Clarke added, yawning, her body’s attempt to go the extra mile. “And that sucks, because I have to show him outlines, and alter them based off of what he likes, and what will and won’t work.”

Nearly every morning, the two heads of the home found themselves awake. Clarke and her friends thought smarter and not harder. All of them pitched in to pick a place not too far from their workplaces, and they all contributed to the rent. That also meant that there nearly seven people under one roof. Not including Monty who moved in with his girlfriend about two weeks prior.

“Well, I’m taking some eggs if you don’t mind, and I’m off.”

“Okay, have a good day.”

Clarke poured some cream into her coffee, and nodded.

“I will, same to you. And can you make sure that O does her homework ?”

Clarke nodded, “Sure will.”

* * *

 

“I think that this would maybe hinder the water system, don’t you think, Raven ?”

The latina almost always made it to work earlier than Clarke. Putting a pause to what she was previously working on, she got up to look over Abby and Jane’s shoulder, and analyzed the blueprints.

“Actually, no, we could make the pipes curve a bit here, and it could work better that way.” She pointed out.

At the time, Clarke nodded, taking mental notes on the alterations she had to make for her designs.

“That’s it ?”

“Raven ?” Kane looked back to Raven, nibbling on his nail.

The girl nodded.

“Alright, I’ll finish this up.”

Raven limped away, “And I’m finna order these parts.”

The blonde picked up her notebook, the cardboard design, and walked out. For a while, Clarke made a new rough sketch based off the notes. Since she was leaning down, it was nearly a struggle in itself to keep herself from totally falling face first on the surface to sleep.

_Wake up, Clarke you’re at work. Wake. Up ! Get some more coffee, stand up._

When Raven passed by Clarke’s office, it was no mystery that Clarke’s eyes were falling closed.

“ _Oye, abre los ojos !”_ Raven snapped at her a bit.

Straightening up, Clarke looked up at her.

“Damn, you woke up like two hours later than me, and you’re tired ?”

Clarke didn’t respond, rather she blinked sleep away rapidly, “What time is it ?”

Bringing her arm up to read her watch, Raven clicked her tongue, “Almost three.”

Clarke groaned a bit. They didn’t get off ‘til five.

“Great.”

Turning to walk out, Raven made another comment in spanish, “ _T_ _al vez si contratara a alguien para que me jodiera la pierna podría tener algunos días de descanso.”_

“Raven, you know I’m a gringa, please spare me from having to go through my notes from highschool Spanish three.”

The brunette chuckled a bit. Now, Clarke huffed at the thought of having to bare two more hours here. Judging from the time, Octavia would probably end up dropping by to get help from Clarke on her homework. As if on cue, Clarke’s office door opened again revealing the noirette.

“Hey, Clarke.” The twenty year old gave her a smile, shuffling into the spare chair she usually sat in after her a.m. through noon classes

“Hey, O.”

“Did you eat lunch ?”

“A granola bar-- if that even counts.”

Octavia dug through her backpack in search of a snack for Clarke.

“No, no, no, O, it’s fine. I’m fine--- I-- c’mon, let me help you with your homework.”

Since Octavia started her first day of her college classes, Clarke decided to help her since she took the same classes, with the same teachers. A win-win for Octavia, because she would be passing her classes, and she had someone who could easily help her, and not struggle much. (Plus it was free compared to a tutor.) She took out her notes, and read through them, while Clarke continued, letting her review her notes. When Octavia was done annotating and highlighting, she turned her face and saw Clarke pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Um, nevermind, I’ll-- I’ll come back another time.”

“No-- O, I swear, I’m fine.”

“Clarke, are you pregnant ?”

“No.” Clarke insisted, leaning forward to look at the textbook problems assigned. “Which ones do you have to do ?”

* * *

 

Lexa sat down on the park bench and watched the view. A part of her was contemplating a haircut to minimize being recognized. Now, she walked around tucking her hair into a beanie, wearing a super deflated hoodie that looked sketchy, not to forget, wearing sunglasses.

“I almost didn’t recognize you.”

Two people sat on the bench next to her, pressing into her sides squealing.

“Keep it down.” Lexa scolded.

Gaia wrapped her arms around Lexa’s shoulders. The brunette reciprocated the hug.

“Yo, we missed you.”

She looked back at the two other people. Luna smiled at her and cuddled into her back. Roan sat back and smiled a bit at her.

“Hello, _Heda.”_

“Wanna say that any louder ?” Lexa chuckled.

The three women gawked at him, and rolled his eyes.

“We missed you so much.”

“I did too.”

With nothing else to say, Lexa and the three just sat there for a bit.

“Okay, Gaia, move aside, it’s _my_ turn.”

The november cold in New York flowed around them a bit. When the trees blew, their leaves blew past and around the quad.

“Was it good ?”

This group had been together since the beginning of elementary school. No one would talk to them--- during their group-pair-share, their classroom had expressed that they were odd fellow little kids. Of course, their teacher had tried to make them feel better, but by then, they had gotten together and found a friendship in their shared oddness. Roan being passed back and forth through foster homes left just the three girls alone for a bit, but he promised to get his shit together, and he was doing great now. Eventually, when Luna and Gaia got off of Lexa, Roan and Lexa had their little handshake.

“I know you missed me.”

“I know you know that I did in fact.” Roan admitted, avoiding eye contact, he wasn’t trying. To get sentimental at all right now. “Did you have fun on tour ?”

“Lots.”

These were the people who were closeby when Lexa performed. They supported her from day one when they snuck to the rooftop of the apartment Gaia and her mother lived in, and heard her belt some Whitney Houston out towards the rest of the city.

“Guys, what do you say we go to…”

“Already ahead of you, Woods.”

The four of them ran across the street like hooligans, Lexa’s disguise nearly falling off. She nearly forgot the horrible pain she was in a few hours ago.

“Lex, watch out, don’t bump into her !” Luna was the one to grab her arm in time to spare a young blonde girl, strictly about her age, and two other girls.

“Sorry.” Lexa said breathlessly.

The girl replied, “It’s fine.”

Lexa and this blonde maintained eye contact. The brunette stared into her unexplored blue eyes, and nearly brought down her shades to allow herself to disappear into them. Lexa even went the extra mile, and watched as the blonde walked past them and saw the way her hips swayed with every forward step. This made the brunette’s jaw tense to ensure that her mouth didn’t just fall open. When the same hand pulled her forward, nearly causing her to fall, Lexa got back into tune with reality.

In the back of her mind, she reminded herself to make a note to write a song about those awkward twenty seconds.

“You’re so gay !”

“Am not !” Lexa retorted towards Luna as Gaia leaned her back against the lobby door to open it, and let the rest of the group in.

Gaia gawked, “Such a gentleman, Ro.”

“How am I — know what ? Go on, I can hold it.” The man put his hand on the top of the door to prop it, while Gaia headed up the stairs after Lexa and Luna.

The four of them walked up the steps again like they used to when they were younger. Gaia unlocked the door to the rooftop, letting them up there. When the november breeze hit them again, Lexa sighed a bit. She leaned her head back and took a sharp inhale. Luna and Gaia stood by her side, and took her hands, extetending their free ones out to the side as well.

“I’m home.”

Lexa closed her eyes with a smile.

“Damn right, you are.” Gaia and Luna chuckled, giving Lexa’s hand a little squeeze. “You’re back in salem’s lot.”

The brunette scoffed, “Way to disrespect my city.”

The voice she made was very humorous and she managed to bring her voice up an octave in the name of lightening the mood.

“Come on, Roan. You’re missing from the moment.”

When called, Roan linking his hands with Luna.

* * *

 

The blonde pinched the bridge of her nose a bit as she tried to milk out her headache. When The clock striked five o’ clock, Clarke and O wrapped up.

“Whaddya say we just order a pizza ?” Raven poked her head in, swinging her bag over her shoulder, ready to go home with her friends. “Murphy called and asked.”

Octavia perked her head up a bit, “Pizza sounds good.”

From her spot in her desk, Clarke nodded in agreement, her discomfort still apparent.

“Or… or maybe, I could get some pizza, and meet you guys home ?” The latina came up with that plan when she saw the way Clarke’s eyes drooped a bit.

Clarke nodded, putting her briefcase over her shoulder. Octavia put on her bookbag, and a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. They said goodbye to some passerbyers as they exited the building. Since Clarke and Raven worked at the same place, going home together was a normal thing. _I really wanna go to bed._

While walking down the street to make it back home, Clarke’s thoughts were only focused on cuddling back into her blankets at home.

“Watch out, Clarke.”

The blonde looked to her right, previously, she didn’t notice the brunette young man who nearly bumped into her. Although, she looked up and her breath slightly hitched at the sight of him and realized that it was just a girl with her hair tucked into a hat. Regardless, in her opinion, she couldn’t look away from her. The brunette’s eyes were shielded by some shades, and that had Clarke seriously intrigued by the colour of this girl’s eyes.

But she could see the girl’s lips, and they looked very, very soft.

* * *

 

Next thing she knew, Octavia had ushered her back down the sidewalk.

“You alright, Clarke ?”

The blonde shook her curious thoughts away, and nodded at Octavia. Raven had peeled away from the group, going into a nearby italian place to get dinner.

“You okay ?”

Clarke shrugged, “I feel a little bit better.”

“How is that so ?” Octavia asked, “I thought your head was throbbing.”

“Well, it’s a bit better, now.”

Octavia was onto her, suddenly she wasn’t holding her forehead in pain since they passed by that hurried group of people. She was sure that they probably passed by a model, and Clarke got a bit starstruck. That was just the way it was. It happened to her when she saw the model Atom, and kissed him drunkenly at a bar. So, she didn’t think much of it.

It was probably going to be a one time thing caused by the pain and discomfort.

Right ?

_Right ?_

When Clarke went up the stairs and turned on the bright lights of her room, her pupils dilated, and pain struck her head again. At this point, she considered it a migraine. She laid down in her bed, and ‘closed her eyes for a bit’. That’s what she told herself, but she ended up falling into a semi-deep slumber. She heard a familiar voice.

God, that…. That fucking soprano voice was going to escort her to the gates of heaven one of these days, and she was going to let it. However, she was deep enough in sleep for her mind to play, and replay the events of the hours prior. Of that girl who tried so hard to put on a disguise. Clarke furrowed her brows in her sleep. Maybe one day she would get to see what colour her eyes were.

And a part of her was anxious for that day, and whether or not it would come.

Little did Clarke know, in a few years, she would turn around in a different bed, and lock gaze with the owner of the mystery eyes. They would’ve turned out to be soulmates. Only, in that time, it wasn’t Clarke in pain…

* * *

 

Lexa strode back into her house quietly with a slight limp. The ibuprofen she took, relieved her of pain for an alloted couple of hours. It was just now starting to consume her body with a bit of soreness.

 

‘ **We went back home, call me back to let me know where you were, and whether or not you are alright and feeling better.**

**With love and care,**

 

**Yo mama & Mad(her)son **

 

**(Thanks for the dough)’**

 

The note was on her countertop. It could have been worse, her mother could have taken it upon herself to go out of her way and blow her phone up. However, Lexa felt it appropriate, and mature to call her mother back. As she held the phone to her ear, speed dialing her mother in three seconds flat, she took off her beenie, and allowed her ruthless chestnut curls from the confines of the cotton. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other while the phone rang.

“Honey, hey, are you home ?”

“Yeah.” Lexa made her way up to her living room which was upstairs. “Sorry I snuck out, I just-- If only you see how you act when one of us is sick, you would escape too.”

“Lexa, you’re an adult, and even when you were little, I couldn’t keep you cooped up for long. As long as you are safe and sound, I’m fine.”

A silent sigh of relief overcame Lexa.

“Are you feeling any better ?”

“A bit, thanks for coming over even though I ran off. Can you say hey to Aden and Papa ?”

“Of course, I love you, Lexa. Bye.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Lexa hung up and sighed. She left a random bottle of water on her coffee table, and took a few sips while turning on netflix on her t.v. She grabbed her nearby keyboard and set it on her lap. Lexa could always be counted on to break out in song whenever the hell she wanted to. At first, she played a few chords, and noticed it sounded like a song she heard somewhere.

 

_“Girl he only fucked you over cuz you let him,_

_Fuck him girl I guess he didn’t know any better,_

_Girl that man didn’t show any effort,_

_Do all I can just to show you you’re special_

_Nfjfbdlf fbjdhbf. Crap.”_

* * *

 

“O, are you listening to that guy off tik tok again ?!” Raven screamed from her bedroom out into the hallway.

Clarke awoke confused. For a second she thought it was the owner of the damn voice. She also just figured out that O could somewhat sing, and she was going to use that to her advantage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna see stuff like their social media posts/texts/ pictures or whatever, you can follow me on tumblr; sorelefttoe where I already have Lexa's insta post, and Aden & Madi's. I may also post manips. If you have questions, please bop em out. Bye, see you next week for chapter 3
> 
> translations:
> 
> “Oye, abre los ojos !” = "Hey, open your eyes !"  
> “Tal vez si contratara a alguien para que me jodiera la pierna podría tener algunos días de descanso.”= "MAybe if I hired someone to fuck up my leg I could have a few days off."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, a clexa interaction, wow

 

 

 

**_December, 2020_ **

 

“Ayy !” 

Lexa hugged her friends, and the group squealed, smiling.

“How are you ?”

They pulled away from each other, “Good.”

Lexa was happy to finally squeeze in a Saturday night at the club with her friends. It was definitely much needed on her end in a way to relapse from being on tour. Especially since she was legal now, which meant that she could truly enjoy the essence of adulthood at its finest. Her hometown friends (next to Anya and Lincoln), were the people she mostly spent time with when not at work.

“Literally, Gaia ?” Luna playfully shoved her other friend away and gave her friend a tender hug. “We missed you, Lex.”

“I saw you just this morning when we just so happened to be at the same Starbucks to get coffee.”

Roan kept his distance a bit.

“What’s up with you ?” Lexa raised her brow at the man. “You gonna stand there and look all  _ mean _ ?” 

Roan pursed his lips bashfully.

“Ro, I’m joking.” Lexa gave him a hug, the man didn’t shy away from the hug, although, he wasn’t a fan of physical affection.

He brought his hand up to pat her shoulder, “Yeah, okay,  _ fine _ .”

“ _ Thank you _ for admitting it !” Gaia said.

Luna and the platinum blonde haired girl applauded. Aside from the tight black dress, Lexa wore some Birkenstocks, and her hair was in a half up-half down style, along with a clutch. Gaia wore a jumpsuit, and some white heels, while Luna went for something casual with black ripped jeans, and a tube top that was white and red ribbed stripped, Roan went for an outfit with something that may have come off the set of one of the Magic Mike movie set. Her friends practically escorted her to the entrance, eager to show her the joys of drinking and letting loose for the weekend. 

“If we see any cute boys, we will find them for you.”

As far as her sexuality, Lexa didn’t pay much attention to it. One thing was for certain, she didn’t have a knack for boys. 

“Sure, but I’m not sleeping with any one of them.” The brunette made sure to make it clear.

“Fine, we’ll get you a friend.” 

“Thanks.”

The security guard in the front sort of made a double take looking back and forth from Lexa’s i.d. to her face.

“I’m guessing you’re a fan ?” Roan noticed Lexa look a bit uncomfortable, and wanted to get her out of the awkward moment.

Lexa gave Roan a subtle jab to the ribs and quickly darted her gaze to him. The man gulped and nodded bashfully. The brunette felt bad.

“Want an autograph ?”

“Yes, please.”

“Why didn’t you ask ?” Lexa gave him a friendly smile, and he handed her a pen he had in his pocket and held out a cd. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, sorry I was so awkward, I--”

“It’s fine. Nice seeing you.”

Lexa went through the doors, into the dark bar that was illuminated by some flashing random coloured lights. She squinted a bit, trying to get a better sense of vision.

“How do you like it ?!” Gaia and Luna were at her sides, hyping her up.

The booming music was practically banging on Lexa’s eardrums. This made her cringe a bit, and she could tell that the beat of a bass drum would follow her to sleep.

“Which beer should I get ?”

“Have you tried beer ever before ?”

Lexa nodded, for her birthday grill that her parent’s assembled, her father offered her a beer and one beer she had. Her platinum blonde girl went to the bar, ordering their drinks. Like a kid stranded in the middle of a new place, Lexa looked around wide-eyed. Thankfully, the lights were dimmed enough for Lexa to not be recognized. Within a span of a couple of minutes, a few recognizable songs were blasting from the DJ's speakers.

“Lex, you’re not gonna dance ?”

Luna swayed her hip against Lexa’s playfully. 

“Um, I look like I’m having a seizure when I dance.”

“People are drunk, they won’t remember. Plus, you always jump around.”

“Keyword, _ jump _ , not dance.”

Gaia drunkenly came up behind her, and took her hands, waving them around. 

“Oh shit !!!!!!!” 

The girls looked at each other. It was just a look. When the first beat of the song began to play, they sort of exchanged devious smiles.

“Hang on, are we in a gay bar ?”

“Now it’s protocol to dance.”

Lady Gaga just so happened to start being played.

“Jeez, fine.” 

The three of them began obnoxiously dancing and shouting the lyrics to Alejandro.

“I know that we are young, and I know that you may love me, but I just can’t be like this anymore...Alejandro.” 

Somehow, Lexa hoisted Gaia up onto her shoulders and danced freely. It felt good to blend in and have fun with her friends. Only, the worst part was the fact that Lexa had eventually vacuumed a good amount of beers, so she was drunk. So, her ‘wiggling’ and ‘dancing’ was just her instability. But she was having fun. 

Roan was small talking with some girl at the bar. He could see Gaia’s silhouette, and how she was struggling to stay up. 

“Sorry, I-- I’ll be right back.” He went over to where the rest of the group were. “Lex, you’re like really damn drunk, Gaia, come on, come down.”

He extended his arms upwards to Gaia. The girl fell into his arms. She wrapped her arms and legs around him.

“Really ?” 

Luna, the soberest of them all, two beers down, and that was all, pulled Gaia off of Roan. 

“You won’t even remember, plus if I was you, I’d go back to that girl. She looks good for you, what’s her name ?”

“Ontari.”

“Hmm.”

Gaia let her legs go from around Luna, and drooped down, passing out. Luna bent down trying to still hold her up. Meanwhile, Lexa was jumping up and down continuously. 

 

_ “Just smoke that cigarette and hush !” _

 

Lexa shouted the lyrics at the

“Luna, do we just… go home or something ?”

“We’ve been here almost two hours, plus, nothing--” Luna struggled to hoist Gaia up. “Nothing bad has happened. Go on, you’ve got a beau.”

* * *

 

 

**December, 2020**

 

Clarke and the whole house had agreed to get drunk and high the night before flying off to spend the holidays with their families. However, they didn’t get to leave the house until  _ every _ single person had applied enough foundation, picked the right pants, or combed their hair in the right direction. Ironically in the background, a Heda song was playing. The electric guitar riff filled the house. Octavia put on some stud earrings in the reflection behind Clarke. Blue eyes met the picture.

“O, you know you can’t go, right ?” The blonde reminded.

Sure, it sounded a bit shady, but she didn’t want to get Octavia out of jail because she went into a bar underage. Octavia was very close to her twenty-first birthday. A month shy of it, in fact. However, she could still be drinking in the discretion of a college party. No security, no problem.

The noirette nodded, “I’m going to a frat party.”

“Stop pre-drinking, then !” Bellamy yelled coming down the hallway.

He was in his fair share of a fraternity and hated how they would take advantage of intoxicated party guests.

“Relax, I know how to protect myself.” Octavia insisted huffing and rolling her eyes.

“You better.”

“Plus I’m going to be there with Atom.”

Clarke and Raven were cooped up around the sink doing makeup. Raven tried her best to do a smokey eye, but Clarke had to assist her midway. If this had anything to do with setting dinner on fire, she would have this down way easier. Raven simultaneously did her hair in between Clarke’s hands.

“Damn it !” Raven gasped as she pulled the hair curler away too late. 

At least it only took two inches, it wasn’t the end of the world. 

“Nevermind, we’re good.”

Clarke pulled away, and her mouth made an ‘o’ shape. She let out a curse under her breath. Murphy laughed from the doorway next to Bellamy.

“It took a whole ass piece !” Octavia grabbed the chunk of Raven’s hair from the bathroom tile and analyzed it as Raven continued to pay attention while curling the rest of her ends. 

“Can you throw that away for me, O ?” Raven asked.

“No, I want it !”

“Baby, that’s creepy.”

“You burned off my eyelashes.” he retorted.

“Just throw it away, O.”

The noirette nodded. Clarke found herself wearing a short and some tight jeans, accompanied by excessive makeup. Raven took it upon herself to totally outdo her, by wearing a black bodysuit, and some platform heels. Bellamy allowed Octavia to pick out his clothes for the night, and slowly he began to regret it. Finally, they left.

It was the new norm for them to go out almost every other weekend to a club. They liked to do it. In fact, it was a good way to let loose, meet new people and forget about them the next morning while writhing around with headaches. The second Clarke set foot into the bar, she looked around like a clueless newbie. She felt the presence of a certain someone amongst all of the dancing bodies in the building. She looked around in anticipation.

In a sense, she did also feel watched.

“Clarke, you’ve been staring at that girl for like… so damn long, you gay ?” Raven took another burning gulp of her beer. 

The blonde wearily shook her head. Her friends definitely knew she was queer, Clarke herself knew she was. That girl she was looking at was admittedly hot. Yet, at the same time, the girl was twerking and dancing and rubbing against Bellamy in the most obscene way. Not that she was bothered by it being done to Bellamy, but wow, that… ass… 

“I mean, she’s cute, isn’t she… I think I’ve seen her in one of my classes.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s Echo. Remember Her-Moans- _ Echo _ -Through-The-Vents.”

Blue eyes stretched open and nodded. Echo was basically school fuckgirl. She belonged in a sorority. At this point, it wasn’t even really considered one, rather just a sex cult in disguise. However, the girl had a very well molded body, Clarke wouldn’t deny that.

“Damn, if you want her, go get her.”

Clarke shook her head ‘no’. This wasn’t the presence of the person she was sensing. This was for sure. The other person felt a bit warmer. Echo was a cold blooded-hearted person, no doubt.

Clarke was distracted by more weight on her bladder. 

“Damn, I--- I really need to… need to pee.”

From the time they got in to now, Clarke had consumed a variety of drinks including a bag of chips, and some sprite. She wasn’t a drinker the rest of the week, but for some reason, on Friday and Saturday nights, she really let loose.

“Well don’t pee on me !”

The blonde stumbled to the bathroom. However, it took her longer than necessary because she did not see the sign for a bit due to the flashing lights, and the flashing lights themselves were hindering her vision.

* * *

 

Lexa felt the urge to pee. She sloppily went to the restroom without Luna noticing. The alcohol was adding extra weight to her bladder. She opened the door and stumbled in. She shook her head a bit when she saw some girls hanging onto the stall door, and then it fell off to reveal another girl inside, with a foot on the toilet, with her hand in between her legs, pissing standing up.

Thankfully Lexa would forget this. The girls laughed a bit at the girl peeing and even proceeded to cheer her on. Some bartenders barged in and escorted them out. The brunette, being the drunk fool she was sat on the same toilet and peed. A blonde woman passed by. 

Lexa found her face familiar. It had the same frazzled countenance on it that she had seen before. Somewhere. Last week. Lexa peed for a good while, even leaning on the wall as she relieved her bladder of urine. 

“Stranger, you’re cute.” Clarke poked her head into the stall the brunette was in wearily, her eyelids half closed, and her pupils dilating like sirens. 

“Huh ?” Lexa awkwardly covered her front with the skirt of her dress, her eyes filling with luggage.

She slumped forward a bit. She may have been drunk, but she was sober enough to see how hot and beautiful, and gorgeous this blonde girl was. Lexa fumbled to wipe herself, and stand up, pulling her underwear up, and leaning her clammy forehead against the stall wall for balance, while pulling down the rest of her dress. 

“I-I-I said… you’re cute.” Clarke slurred. 

She looked towards the doorway of the stall and gave the blonde girl a grin. That husky voice was sending inexplicable shivers down her spine. She loved it and hated it. She loved it because she felt comfortable, but she hated the teasing.

“Of course you do.” Lexa assumed that maybe she had just met a fan. “Want an autograph ?”

After a few seconds, it clicked to Lexa that this probably wasn’t exactly a fan. This girl wasn’t treating her like she made the earth, and started with two forgotten lesbians in lieu of Adam and Eve. (Yes, her fans also flooded her social media feeds with questions regarding her sexuality.) They claimed that she was a part of a queer holy trinity (that included Hayley Kiyoko, Brendon Urie, and several other artists.)

Clarke’s brows furrowed a bit, “No, what’s your name ?”

Unbeknownst to Clarke, she was talking to the owner of the beautiful voice she listened to every day. Heda.  _ The  _ Heda. Had she known, she would have been gushing.

“Lexa.”

The blonde paused for a moment to process it.

“ _ Leksa _ , I like it.”

“Thanks, what’s yours ?” Lexa was slurring, but not as much as Clarke. “I’m sure that such a… hottie has a cool name to go with that face.”

Clarke let out a drunken snicker. Lexa was making her heart escalate, and she could tell for sure that it wasn’t the two bloody mary’s she had. The snicker and sexy look Clarke was giving Lexa through the reflection in the mirror had Lexa feeling a little wet.  _ Did I not wipe right? _ Instead of making a big deal, she smiled back.

“So…”

“It’s Clarke.”

“ _ Klark. _ ”

Clarke’s heart skipped a beat. If Lexa continued like this, she would go into cardiac arrest very soon.  _ How the fuck--- damn.  _ Clarke bit her lip harder. The brunette went up to the sink to wash her hands. 

Even in her drunkness, she made sure to have at least some care for her sanitariness. She then turned around to look at Clarke. This girl was very attractive. Even with a layer of sweat, she looked stunning. 

“A- About the autograph, do you give them in lipstick marks ?” Clarke was being curious and cute at the same time. 

Lexa loved the look on her face. She looked in the mirror, she didn’t wear lipstick, rather just some cherry lip balm. 

“I’ve got some scarlet rouge in my bag.” Clarke fumbled around her purse clumsily.

Wherever this girl came from, Lexa wanted a healthy supply for her. Maybe she would pray to some god or whatever to beg and have arrangements made for them to send her cute girls. Clarke held up the lipstick to Lexa. The brunette nearly stumbled. The blonde caught her.

“Hey, how about… I help you? Would you mind that ?”

Lexa nodded. She plumped her lips out a bit, giving Clarke access to apply the red shade on her lips. The blonde had a hand on Lexa’s waist while she put the lipstick on her lips. Lexa’s heart swelled and compressed tightly as Clarke looked into her eyes through her eyelashes. Clarke looked down to put her makeup away, and Lexa cupped her face, kissing her passionately. 

She loved this. Maybe she liked girls and only girls for sure. Clarke’s lips tasted very good to Lexa. In the midst of it all, the brunette swiped her tongue a little in between her lips. Pale arms wrapped a bit tighter around her waist. 

Lexa’s lips wandered towards Clarke’s neck. Clarke flinched a bit.

“I-- sorry, I thought you wanted an autograph.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

Clarke’s mouth has some smudged lipstick around it. Now, it was on her clavicle area. A bit of her was embarrassed that Lexa could possibly feel her escalated pulse. But, after a while, she threw that thought at the wall and watched it melt. The two women reveled in the moment for a bit. 

After a few minutes in a beautiful form of limbo, the door slammed open. 

“Oh, shit is that, Heda ?!” Raven exclaimed. “Yooo !”

Luna was next to her, already working on separating the two. 

“Lex, we need to go! Gaia has alcohol poisoning.”  _ People also figured out that you are here, so yes, let’s bust out of here.  _

Gaia was sitting on the wall outside of the bathroom. 

“Clarke, c’mon, you said you just needed to pee.” Raven took her.

The blonde held onto Lexa’s hands. Lexa held onto hers.

“No,” Lexa slurred, her eyes lazily met Luna’s. 

“We came here as a group, we need to go !”

Lexa tried to push Luna away. But, sober always beats drunk. Lexa made a memorable exit by being dragged out by her hands. And just like that, they disappeared to Roan’s car, and Luna drove rapidly to the emergency room. 

“I hate you, Luna !” Lexa was crying in the backseat. “We were happy ! How could you-- you should have just left us  _ alone  _ !”

Luna ignored her and pulled into the parking lot of the E.R. She knew that Lexa would forget this in the morning. Maybe she would too. 

“Can you drop me off at my house, please ?” Lexa growled. 

Thankfully they were coming up to her neighborhood, and Luna dropped her off.

“Fuck you.” Lexa flipped her off.

“You won’t even remember it in the morning Lex. No hard feelings. Go to bed, it’s literally almost three in the morning.”

Lexa lingered outside the car door for a bit. Finally, tiredness caught up with her and she rested a bit against the door.

“Lexa, go to bed, Gaia is literally dying in the backseat, I’m taking her to the hospital.”

Gaia was in fact retching chunks into a take out bag (still) in the backseat of the car, crying a few seconds in between.

“I was giving her an autograph.” Lexa insisted and narrowed her eyes at Luna, very so clearly pissed off.

Luna wanted to laugh in her face. In what world did kissing equal autograph ? Luna didn’t know, she was confused, but she needed to get Gaia to a hospital as soon as humanly possible.

“Lexa,  _ go _ !!!!”

“Fine.” The other brunette spat out. 

Lexa slumped to the front door of her house and went in. When Luna saw her front door close, and Gaia threw up some more, she left towards the hospital. Inside the house Lexa kicked off her heels, and involuntarily fell to the ground, giving out an ‘ow’, clutching her back. The pain was starting again. Pushing through, she went upstairs in her restroom and took the instructed dose of ibuprofen. 

She then crawled into bed, pulling up the sheets to keep her covered. Her lips were still slightly swollen from the heated kissing session with Clarke. Tears only ran down her cheeks, then down to her pillow. Her lips were still stained with the shade of lipstick.

“As long as you don’t wipe it off, yo--you’ll be fine.”

_ Right ? _ As if Clarke would walk around with marks of scarlet rouge on her neck. Although, it would be easier for Lexa to find her around the city --- assuming she lived in the city. She just kept telling herself,

“As long as you don’t wipe it off, you’ll be fine.” over and over again until she passed out into a deep slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

 

**January, 2021**

 

As far as the sudden sharp pains in her back and joints were concerned, Lexa took ibuprofen on a daily basis. Her mother was worried and insisted she just schedule a checkup. Lexa insisted that she ‘just doesn’t have time’, and continued with her day. But as promised, she made time between songwriting to spend a day treating her younger siblings.

“You’ve got your bags, right ?” Lexa asked. 

The two nodded. 

“If they give you a hard time, we’ll pick them up,” Alexander assured.

Based off the fact that he was looking at Madi, Lexa could only assume that she was giving them a hard time. Madi was fourteen, fifteen in a bit, but she felt that she was an adult on both ends of an invisible spectrum. This made the house look like a sitcom. Unfortunately, Lexa was never around for the scheduled broadcasting. 

“Assured, bye mom and dad.” Lexa gave them a warm hug.

She turned around to head out and noticed Madi and Aden sitting in her car already. She chuckled lowly.

“If you can survive them, you’ll be the best mother.”

“I’m  _ not  _ having children, your kids are enough for me to make that decision. Without consulting my non-existent partner.”

“Also, I went on an LGBTQ website for parents of queer children, and I heard about some Adoption stories…”

Yes, Anastasia was a little bit too obsessed with trying to connect with Lexa. The brunette got into the car.

“I appreciate it mom. Where you y'all wanna go ?”

Also because Lexa knew that she would not have the ability to have a child. At least not at the rate of the fact that she finally realized she was oso gay. vEry so much. When she told her parents, she was met with a,

* * *

 

 

**December, 2020**

 

_ It had been approximately two weeks since Lexa had her first kiss to Clarke. And approximately nine days since she came to the conclusion that she was gay. It was a long night of pain, sweat, and fears. Fears pertaining to how her social life would be affected. How she would be treated. _

_ Pain in her back because she had yet to go see a medical professional, and sweat because she was hiding under an abundance of blankets. Lexa put on a sweater, some jeans, boots, and that was all she needed to look somewhat put together for Christmas dinner. As soon as the door creaked open, she was welcomed with cheers from her family.  _

_ “Hi, I’m Ethan !” Lexa furrowed her brows at the strange kid on her mother’s hip. "What's your name ?" _

_ “I’m gay, nice to meet you.” Lexa smiled and shook his little hand. _

_ Out of the corner of her eye, Lexa saw her mother’s jaw hit the floor.  _

_ “That’s a cool name !” the little boy exclaimed. _

_ Anastasia put him down, and he ran off to the kitchen, where her father could be heard. _

_ “Cousin, Gay is here !” _

_ Lexa moved into the rest of the house, however, not before greeting her mom. _

_ “Hey, I let all the gifts in the car. How is everyone.” _

_ “Gay ?” _

_ “Gay ?” Alexander was at the top of the entrance stairs, the busy kitchen behind him. “Oh of course, hello gay !” _

_ Lexa let out a harsh laugh that sounded like a hacking cough. _

_ “Gay? I wanna meet gay, who’s gay ?” Madi came up next to her father. _

_ Her mouth made an ‘o’ shape. _

_ “Nah duh, you’ve wiped her ass, you should already know.” _

_ “Language !” Anastasia scolded. _

_ Alexander nodded and chuckled lightly, “You’re right, and I knew.” _

_ “So, are you-- are you gonna get the extension ?” _

_ Anastasia motioned towards the crotch area. _

_ “Extension? what Extension? Mom, I’m not trans, I just like girls.” _

_ “I know, but how will you…. With them ?” _

_ Lexa’s jaw dropped and she stifled a laugh. _

_ “Oh my god, dad, come get your wife.” _

_ The younger brunette made her way up the steps _

_ “Lexa, anatomically speaking though…” _

_ “No further discussions, merry Christmas you filthy animals.” _

* * *

 

**January, 2021**

 

“Can you help me ? …. Again ?” Madi was definitely not a pro at eating seafood.

Lexa blamed her income as to why her siblings enjoyed eating as much seafood to buy her broke for the day. Lexa nodded, helping the fourteen-year-old separate the outside of the crab leg from the meat inside.

“You could have gone with shrimp or lobster instead,” Lexa suggested.

“Well, I like crab.” Madi squeezed some lemon of it before eating it.

Lexa turned around, met with a crab pincer to her face.

“ _ Really,  _ Aden ?”

The seventeen-year-old snickered, pinching his fingers on each claw, moving them to open and close. Lexa scoffed.

“You’re so immature.”

“So are you !” Aden retorted.

Although, his actions for the whole twenty hours still did not add up to how unbehaved Lexa could be in a month.

Madi was fully on Lexa’s side, although she was the worst behaved Woods’ child family-wide, “Did you know that he’s moving to the basement ?”

Lexa burst into laughter.

“Aden, Aden, Aden, you’re gonna get kicked out before you even get to turn thirty.”

“Relax, as long as I get steady donations from Twitch, I’ll be out by twenty-five.”

“Alright, if you wanna live with the dead rats that Pauna collects, and in squalor, you do you.”

Last time Lexa went down to the basement, they were putting away the last of Madi’s baby things, like her crib. Alexander and Anastasia had insisted on keeping it ‘for future grandchildren’. It saved the three of them some money, so there was no complaint. Eventually, the three Woods siblings managed to down a good couple of plates worth of seafood. 

“Mom’s gonna be  _ pissed  _ at this.”

“Relax, just brush your teeth, and you’ll be fine.”

There was a loud crack, and the other side of Lexa’s face was hit with a piece of crab leg.

“Lexa, I need help !”

“Yeah, I’m getting neutered.” She mumbled under her breath while helping Madi again. “You're like a four-year-old in a teen body.”

* * *

 

“Go stupid.”

Lexa was left standing in the front door of the gas station. She and her siblings loved cheating the standard popcorn of the movie theater, and just stuff backpacks with liters of crush soda, and honey buns and just about anything. Lexa slowly walked around and looked through the candy aisle. She was on the fence between M&M’s and Crunch. Meanwhile, Madi had passed her with an armful of Twizzlers. 

She scanned the shelf once and grabbed a pack of sour patch kids. The second one of them would get a diagnosis or warning for prediabetes, Lexa would leave. For once, she would not own up to that. 

“I saw this one girl in the dairy aisle, she looks cute for you.”

“Thanks, but I’m not in need of a wingwoman.” 

Madi cleared her throat and awkwardly continued to tilt her head to the side while looking at Lexa.

“The hell’s wrong with you ?” The brunette was getting very very annoyed at her little sister.

They could never be civil, huh? Madi cleared her throat, looking back in the direction next to Lexa. 

“The fuck ?” Lexa wrinkled her nose and furrowed her eyebrows at her sister. 

“Lexa, look !”

The older brunette did. She took a sudden foot back when she saw who this said girl in the milk aisle was. 

“Woah.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” The blonde said with a small grin.

It was Clarke. At the moment, she was wearing some paint-stained sweatpants and a random printed shirt with no bra underneath. Her hair was up in a messy bun.

“I-- How have you been since the bar ?”

“Well, I wouldn’t wash off your autograph for a whole week until my friend made me.”

Lexa had a star-struck expression. Madi nudged her shoulder. Lexa discreetly pushed her away. 

“Cool.”  _ Cool, Lexa? Really wow! _

Madi snickered under her breath.

“Sorry about her.” Lexa pushed Madi away. 

The younger brunette walked away a few feet.

“Is she your kid ?” Clarke asked genuinely.

“Nah, I don’t I would have survived being a seven-year-old and giving birth.”

“Oh--” Clarke slapped the back of her neck. “Sorry, I...”

“She looks and acts two, I don’t blame you.” Lexa chuckled.

Her small smile made the blonde’s breath hitch a bit. 

“I like your shirt,” Lexa said trying to soften the fact that the outline of Clarke’s nipples were in her line of sight. “Did you make it ?”

Clarke nodded, “It took a lot of mess ups, but it’s alright.”

“I like it. It’s very…” Lexa looked at the face painted with abstract colours. 

They weren’t in the same colour group. Not that it mattered. Lexa never even touched paint since she was in kindergarten. However, she could make out a face. That’s was something, huh?

“...cool. _ You _ . I can assume.”

Clarke chuckled, “You’re like… actually really cute in out of beer situations. I mean, you were always cute, but… wow.”

Lexa looked down while blushing, “Thanks. You  _ do _ know who I am, though, right ?”

“What do you mean ?”

“Ever heard of the song that goes...”

Lexa sang a little line from one of her songs. Clarke’s jaw dropped. She felt dumb. Sure, she didn’t ever think to look up Heda on google, but wow… That was one thing she would always remember. Lexa would too.

“Did you really not know who I was ?”

Lexa was actually happy that Clarke didn’t recognize her. Sometimes Lexa liked it when one person in a while didn’t know who she was.

“I did, just, not your face. Wow. Glad I got that autograph.”

“Especially that type.” Lexa said playfully.

“ _ Especially _ that type.” Clarke assured.

“Thanks.”

“For ?”

“You’re the only one treating me like a normal civilian. And the only person who treated me like a genuine civilian that night.” Lexa said with a smile, “Thanks.”   
The blonde pursed her lips into a smile. Lexa’s heart swelled, and she was blushing uncontrollably and looked down to keep Clarke from noticing. Madi scoffed a bit under her breath, making fun of her big sister.    
“Actually, I’m in the mood for ice cream, I'll be back.”   
“Wait, no, no, no--” Lexa let out an exasperated sigh of annoyance and wanted to go after Madi, but the fourteen-year-old was long gone.    
They didn’t  _ have  _ an ice cream aisle in this store. In fact, Ice cream was code for, ‘I’m-gonna-come-up-with-something-bad-and-dumb-to-do’. There was a strong possibility of Madi ruining this conversation going any further for her. Clarke shifted her weight and tried to look into Lexa’s eyes.   
“Well, fellow civilian…”   
Lexa finally looked up again. The blonde was so… oddly satisfying to be around. Like---    
"...nicotine on your toes !" Aden bumped her shoulders and made a weird giggle.   
Lexa was immediately snapped out of her daze. Clarke coughed out a laugh. 

“Like I said, I don’t think I would have survived being seven and giving birth.” Lexa said, “That’s my little bother, Aden.”

“Hmm, you didn’t say  _ my  _ name.” Madi barged in again.

Lexa wished she had gone to the meat aisle to get some salami. 

“I’m Madherson by the way. Follow me on insta.”

Eventually, the younger siblings decided to not put Lexa’s non-existent love life to jeopardy, so they left her alone. 

“I’m seeing you again.”

“Me too.”You know, in my drunken state, did I mention how cute you were ?” Lexa said this with a smirk.

A giant one in fact. She had to have said that at one point, right?

 

_ “I’m sure that such a… hottie has a cool name to go with that face ?” _

 

“I thought that was me.” Clarke blushed. “I’m sorry if you found it weird, I just got a little too comfortable.”

“Oh, it’s fine.”  _ At least a hundred people a day retweet me that, but coming from you… _

“It’s true, no fangirl.”

“Is that the fangirl version of no homo ?”

Clarke nodded. Lexa chuckled.

“You know, you’re cute too.”

The blonde’s breath hitched, Clarke was quick to shake her head ‘no’.

“You are. I’ve seen a lot of girls on tour, at shows. They’re pretty and attractive, but you…”

Clarke only blushed harder.

“Wow, thanks.” Clarke’s whole face was nearly beet red, and Lexa’s face was beginning to turn the same shade as well.

The brunette took an additional step forward.

“What’s your number, if it’s not too awkward ?”

Clarke stared at Lexa for a moment. Green eyes only held onto hers while she took her phone out of her side pocket. Clarke held out her phone. Lexa dialed herself.

When she handed the phone back, her contact name was simply kiss emojis. Clarke giggled a bit. 

“Heda !” 

Lexa turned around to see who the squeals belonged to.

“Gotta bounce, text me. Bye, Clarke.” Lexa stormed around the corner of the aisle. “Madi, Aden, let’s go, now !”

And that was the last Clarke saw of Lexa for the day. The brunette put a hand on her back as she ran away.

When she got home, Clarke didn’t tell anyone about getting Lexa’s number. Clarke and Raven were in her bedroom looking over outlines for Kane. They were the only ones in the home, save for Wells who was napping on the couch. 

He had just returned from a weekend at his father’s lake house with him. Thelonious made sure to definitely keep him fishing for a good couple days straight. 

Clarke felt bad for leaving him behind at the family dinner, but Wells kept insisting it was fine. On the other side of the bed, Raven assembled a small 3D design. Clarke sort of just watched.

“Ain’t she pretty ?”

“Yeah, she is also an object.”

“How dare you objectify  _ my _ piece of art ?” Raven scolded.

* * *

 

Lexa and her siblings enjoyed the movie for a bit with the snacks they snuck in. Lexa enjoyed eating her chocolate, but then nearly choked on them as a shuddering pain crawled on her torso. She winced for a bit. She let out a small whimper.

“You okay ?” Madi asked. 

Lexa nodded, “Keep watching, I probably have a stomachache.”

Madi could see right through her.

“Talking to Clarke didn’t get you pregnant did it ?”

“Fuck off.”  _ I can feel my damn pancreas shivering, which is causing me some real ass pain. _ “I’m going to the bathroom, be right back. Don’t go anywhere, let’s not have another fair incident.”

Lexa was referring to a time when she and her siblings went out to a national fair, and she was recognized, and her siblings were traumatized by fans. Horrible for all of them. The brunette got up and towards the bathroom. Her upper side was tingling in pain. Almost like an electrical shock. 

The brunette went into a stall and sat on the toilet clutching her side. This felt very horrible to her. A tear escaped her eyes and exhaled.

“Ow.” Lexa blinked away tears and sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “What the fuck is this ?”

The tingling pain began to make her feel like she needed to throw up. Eventually, the pain got too much, and she moved to puke into the toilet she was sitting on. 

“Lexa ?”

“Madi, I’m good, go back to the movie.”

“Open the door, are you okay ?”

Her stomach was still shuddering in pain. When she opened her eyes, her vision was blurred. 

“Lexa,”

Madi proceeded to move the door a bit. 

“I’m fine.”

“Stop lying, you’re not. I can tell. Lexa are you  _ really  _ okay? I’m worried. Did something happen to you ?” 

Wearily looking around, Lexa got up, her vision still unstable. 

“Let me in !” 

Somehow, Madi got the door opened. She dove and grabbed Lexa.

“What’s wrong ? Where are you hurting ?”

“Don’t worry.”

“I have to! You’re obviously for the love of whatever god you’re not taking care of yourself !”

A small sob escaped her lips. 

“No, no, no, don’t cry.”

“Then go to a fucking doctor !”

Madi tried to get up with Lexa in her arms. 

“Are you good enough to go back into the movie ?”

Lexa nodded, “Yeah. Mmm hmm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be sure to comment your thoughts. I'm writing chapter five as you read.


	5. Chapter 5

 

**Late - January, 2021**

 

Clarke’s scheduled broadcasting of her Netflix broadcasting was cut short when Raven jumped on the couch. She changed the channel, flipping around.

“You could of at least announced yourself.”

“Clarke, there’s like a whole village in here, you should be _worried_ if no one bursts in.”

“She’s not wrong.”

Murphy appeared from behind the couch and jumped onto Raven’s lap.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey.” He kissed her, wrapping his arms around her neck.

The latina kissed his cheek, bringing him closer.

“You two act like you’re in a same-sex relationship.” Clarke chuckled, “A female one.”

“Fine, then me and my cute girlfriend are gonna--”

“Shhh !”

Clarke’s eyes were stuck to the t.v. “I knew she killed her !”

“Okay, so, can we watch some t.v. ?” Raven asked.

With Murphy sitting on her lap like a clingy toddler, it was hard for her to have a straight face.

“Please ?”

Clarke sighed and nodded.

Raven sighed right back, “Look blondie, it’s three in the afternoon, and you've been here since six.”

“I’m not pissed, just--- nevermind, see you at dinner.”

For a while, it was starting to get tiring living in a house with several other people. It was definitely quieter than her parents home and she appreciated that, but they were sharing nearly everything. Hell, Wells and Clarke shared a room, and Bellamy recently decided to bunk with Raven and Murphy after being victim to one of ‘Jasper’s’ lizards on his face. Little did he know, he walked straight into the trap because it was literally Murphy who did it. When Clarke made it back to her room, Wells was struggling to do his waves.

“Need help ?” Clarke offered before just passing out on her bed.

Wells nodded, “Please.”

Surprisingly, Clarke was one of the only few people well qualified to do waves, period. So, Wells sometimes just asked her to help him. Aside from the random stray cat that appeared and liked Octavia, Wells and Clarke had never gotten into an argument. Hardly.

“So…” Wells said playfully as Clarke moved the comb side to side creating the waves.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I saw this guy.”

“Oooh, us bisexuals have to unite, hmm?” Clarke joked, focusing on the sides of his hair. “Who is he ?”

“Well, his name is Ilian, I see him at the gym every day.”

Clarke was quick to opinionate, “Talk to him.”

“I should ?”

The blonde nodded, “It’s worth a shot.”

Wells hummed in agreement. Clarke helped him put on his durag.

“Anything else ?”

He shrugged.

“Can you braid my hair ?” Clarke asked bashfully.

“I’ve been braiding your hair nearly every day since we were what? Eight? Sit down somewhere.”

* * *

 “Lexa, go to a hospital !” Luna yelled at her through the phone.

The four other people in the chatroom backed her up with ‘mmhmm’s’.

“You guys, relax, it goes away when I take ibuprofen or pain relief.” Lexa insisted she was experiencing pain in nearly every cell of her body for the past couple of weeks.

At this point, it was pissing off her siblings that she didn’t go get looked at. Hell, Madi stopped talking to her. Her stubbornness was pushing her family away, and she didn’t know how to make time to go. There were ‘other important things’ for her ‘to do’. It was up to a certain point that her parents stopped giving her free advice and suggestions because she was an adult.

Only so much could be done from their standpoint.

If Lexa refused, she refused. That was really _it._

“Go to a _DOCTOR_!”

“I’m not sick, I’m just in pain !”

“It could probably be worse.” Anya scolded.

“Get your ass up out of bed !”

“I really wish I could !” Lexa retorted.

If Lexa had to admit, she wasn’t sure she could quite do the whole pain anymore. It literally crippled her, and she didn’t know what exactly to do about it. For a while, Lexa stayed there silent.

“I’m gonna go write.”

“Oh yeah ?”

“Yes, Luna. Yes, bitch, I will go fucking write !”

The brunette angrily hung up. She got up with a hunched back, and stiffly walked to the bathroom, before putting on her glasses. With every step she took, she wanted to cry. At the moment, Lexa’s spine and shoulders were in the most horrible pain ever, and she had a deafening headache that seemed to be affecting her eyes as well. She took the medications based on the instructions and went downstairs.

Normally it took her less than a minute to make it down the ten stairs, but she made it roughly two or three. Maybe her body was catching up with her mind. Maybe she was just over exaggerating the pain.

Since she got back from tour, the stress she faced with trying to be nothing short of perfection was very hard to wean away from. Something she felt in her brain was resonating throughout her whole body, nearly crippling her. At least, that’s how Lexa allowed herself to think. She kept insisting to herself that—-

“All I need is a break.” She grabbed some lime sorbet from the fridge and a spoon. “A _long_ break.”

The brunette allowed herself to collapse on her couch, which she quickly regretted, because the pain in her shoulder and back, only echoed, causing her to whimper, and bite her lip to keep from crying. Her keyboard was on the floor from last night’s event of just sitting and playing until her fingers deemed enough with playing on strings and keys for the day. She laid awkwardly and painlessly on her stomach, her left hand reaching towards the keyboard on the floor, sliding the 'on' button on it, and switching it to organ setting. Some nappy braids flopped down to her face, but she pushed them away. At the press of a key, Lexa wrinkled her nose in disapproval and changed the setting.

She did this over and over until she managed to get to a string that _felt_ and sounded borderline _euphoric_.

 

**Whirly**

 

The brunette sort of played around with a few keys for a while as the medicine began to back away from her system. She hummed along with it, making a melody. As she sang gibberish trying to figure something out, she suddenly stopped. She clicked the ‘record’ button on the keyboard and began playing everything she just played from the start. Every note, every key, it was resonating something in her.

That was when Lexa realized that she needed to get _out_ of her house in that instant. If she stayed there any longer, she wouldn’t leave the couch for the rest of the week. And for the first time since she was sick, she felt like moving around. She felt like she was doing something with herself. She knew that going outside would force her to think words.

To breathe outside air, to be somewhere social, and _normal_. She just wanted to feel careless, and twelve, and undiscovered. Lexa remembered her younger siblings leaving their clothes in her hamper before they left back home. Aden was closer to her height (actually he was taller, thank the universe for sports, aye ?) Lexa mustered up whatever strength she had, and went to the laundry room.

Aden had left some jeans and a shirt. With some random (meme-worthy) glasses, Lexa put them on. They fit nice and loosely on her. Especially the sleeves. As for her hair, she took out the braids, and shook her head a bit, stopping when a strike of pain hit her upper spine.

She looked like a wild woman.

The bags under her eyes added that nice touch. If anyone recognized her through this, they would have to have the best eyes ever. Seriously.

Lexa grabbed the tiny keyboard, some earbuds, and the functioning parts of her body.

Lexa had seen a corpse before. When she was younger, she had seen her fair share of horror movies with her father. They’d even seen Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video. Lexa looked exactly like one of those backup dancers. Before exiting out the door, Lexa looked at herself in the mirror.

It was painful and tear-jerking for her to see the person before her. So full of pain.

“Look at you crying like a baby,” Lexa mumbled scoldingly at herself. “And not even like a remotely cute one.”

* * *

 

Clarke fixed Wells’ collar. Within the span of about two hours, she had convinced Wells to talk to said crush.

“Look, just breathe, take it easy.”

Wells patted the top of her head a bit. Clarke had a single braid going down her back, midway. If he wanted to, Wells could do great in the cosmetic pathway.

“I’ll hang out around the park, it’s nice out. Afterwards, we can go to Starbucks.”

He nodded, slightly flushed, “God-- it’ll be awkward if he’s straight.”

“It’s fine.” Clarke insisted. “Go get him.”

Clarke gave him a pat on the back. Wells took a deep breath and then went inside the gym. The blonde went across the street, and sort of hung out. She sort of walked around a bit. She heard a soprano hum and looked to her left.

If she hadn’t seen Lexa with sunglasses on, she wouldn’t have recognized her. She let out a faint,

“Lexa.”

The brunette just so happened to look up, and smiled, her cardiovascular arteries fluttering. The blonde smiled at her, much happier than she should have been.

“Clarke, sit, please.”

Lexa moved a bit to give Clarke space to sit. The scene Clarke had barged past was utterly odd. Lexa had a mini keyboard on her lap and the most awkward disguise.

“Hey.” Lexa sighed out with the biggest puppy eyes.

Clarke’s heart fluttered with her smile, “Hey.”

“So, what brings you here ?” Lexa asked setting aside her instrument.

“My friend wanted to meet up with someone, and I decided to keep him company.”

“Ooh.”

Clarke chuckled, “So what are you doing here ?”

“Songwriting, wanna hear it ?”

“If you don’t mind.”

If Clarke had known Lexa a lot more, she would have known that Lexa didn’t just sing anything to anyone. Let alone her work in progress songs. Lexa unplugged the keyboard and lowered the volume a bit so it would not just blast music. However, it was just loud enough for the two of them to hear.

“I’ve been figuring it out for the past hour,” Lexa said, starting the beginning of the song. “Don’t laugh at me, okay ?”

“I won’t.” Clarke insisted with a smile.

Lexa chuckled a little too hard, causing herself some pain, which she winced at.

“You okay ?” Clarke was worried.

With sunglasses on her face, Lexa’s baggy eyes were hidden. She didn’t exactly answer. Instead, Lexa shrugged, and hummed and ‘i don’t know’. To which Clarke replied,

“What do you mean, you don’t know ?”

“It’s been… weird. My schedule I mean, I’ve got a lot of things coming up, and I’m trying to catch up with being back home with my family, and getting some rest.”

This was true. Although it wasn’t like Lexa was always sleeping, she spent time with her family, but not every second. _I’m just full of excuses, aren’t I?_

“It must be hard for you.”

“Yeah, a bit.”

 _I’m making it harder than it_ **_should_ ** _be._

“It looked like you were hurting, were you ?”

_I am._

“A bit,” Lexa admitted.

_I just told you the half truth._

“Have you gotten checked out? Or at least an appointment ?”

“Nope.” Lexa made sure to pop the ‘p’.

(Just for that final touch.)”

“Not yet.”

_You got the full truth. Wow, we’re getting somewhere._

Clarke furrowed her brows, “Is it anything severe ?”

“I can manage for a while longer, it’s all in my head, really.”

_I hope this is the truth._

If anything, Lexa wanted to change the subject. The blonde saw it in her eyes.

“Wanna pry at me ?”

It was only fair in Clarke’s opinion. Lexa nodded.

“What’s your middle name ?”

The blonde let out a heart-stopping chuckle. Lexa’s breath hitched.

“Elizabeth.”

Lexa loved the sound of it. She hadn’t heard that name since pre-k.

“ _Klark Elizabeth_.” Lexa clicked just about every letter she could. “I like it.”

“I don’t.”

Although it sounded a bit better than she had ever heard it said before.

“Hey, my parents thought I was going to be born a boy, so they were _so_ set on  the name Joseph, so my middle name is Joseph.”

“Really ?!”

“Yeah.”

“Lexa Joseph…. Whatever your last name is…”

“Alexandria Joseph Woods,” Lexa answered eloquently. “But, I got over it. You know, some Hispanic women have the middle name Jose, which is basically the same thing.”

“True.” Clarke said, “Original.”

It really sounded much more believable out of Clarke’s mouth, than it did her mother's.

“What do you do aside from art ?”

Lexa had been wanting to know since she saw the blonde at the gas station, pants covered in paint. Admittedly the most cutest thing Lexa saw. Yes, she meant cute, she wouldn’t say it out loud though. She would have to be intoxicated, and clearly, brain vacuumed to have the balls to do that again.

“I’m an architect.”

Lexa smiled, “Of course, it seems perfect for you.” The brunette cleared her throat a bit. “Do you like the job ?”

“I like it, with the exception of the math included, and the fact that I go through several rough drafts.”

“I mean, you architects are similar to engineers right ?”

Clarke nodded, “But there’s more sketching involved.”

Lexa hummed in understanding.

“So, you wanna keep designing buildings until you retire ?”

“That thought scares me.” The blonde admitted, of course, that was the intended purpose of a career, but… the rest of her years in that office cubicle? Hell to the no. “Nah, I might just paint and just do art afterwards. I don’t think I do well stuck in offices.”

“I can see that,” Lexa whispered, leaning in a bit with a smirk.

She didn’t mean to be funny, but it was true. No woman as free-being like Clarke deserved to be cooped up in a cubicle. Clarke chuckled at the girl’s humorous action.

“That was… _cute_.”

“Really ?”

Lexa broke out into a bit of laughter.

“I just laughed like the Wendy Williams meme.”

“It wasn’t the laugh, more like the face.”

Her sunglasses nearly slid off her face, but Clarke caught them, sliding them back up.

“Thanks, you’re welcome.” The blonde said. “I love those glasses.”

“You can keep them.”

Lexa moved to take them off her face. Clarke knew the intention for them, so she shook her head negatively.

“Clarke, I’m _Heda_ , I have some kinda creepy manips of myself wearing warpaint, I’m pretty much recognizable in just about anything.”

“But, they’re yours, they fit your face so well.”

“Really ?” Lexa arched her brow, and Clarke just bit her lip.

If Wells was around, he would see that she was falling bottoms up for this girl. And she would simply make fun of him back for sweating a pool into his durag.

“Lexa, I don’t mean to pry, but, what about that song ?”

“Oh, shi— right !”

Lexa hot back to starting the melody.

“It’s not— it’s not—“

What the hell was Lexa doing? She never sang an unfinished piece to anyone, and now, she was going to fuck up in front of Clarke and— _Goddammit, why do you care so much?_ Damn right, why _did_ she care now? Ever since that sporadic kiss in the bar bathroom, Lexa had always thought of kissing those plump lips of Clarke’s again one day.

Maybe in _another life_ had they met in different circumstances— _better ones_ , arrangements could be made. They could have gone somewhere. Lexa took a small sigh to herself as she collected her senses and emotions. _Wait, why the fuck am I sweating ?! It’s forty damn degrees, why ?!_

Then her long slender fingers found themselves moving. The lyrics to this song were oso dark. It was about the pain Lexa was feeling. Clarke leaned in a bit closer, easing a bit of the tension from the fact that their arms were rubbing together, but still nonetheless making Lexa worry about screwing up in front of her. Lexa began to sing soft enough for just _them_ to hear.

Clarke watched as her tongue slightly curled to pronounce the words, and she occasionally looked at her to meet with a smile, and it made her feel a flutter in her stomach. Lexa found that looking at the blonde eased tension, and she felt more comfortable than ever. She couldn’t help but blush for some reason. She never blushed when singing at a concert. What was this girl doing to her?

“I really love it.” The blonde said.

Clarke looked back just in time to see Wells approaching.

“I’ve got to go, bye Lexa. Text me whenever you’d like.”

“Bye, Clarke, thanks for putting up with my screeching.”

The blonde chuckled and went in to give Lexa a hug.

“Get better.”

Lexa sighed into her shoulder. Her hair smelled of vanilla shampoo.

“I’ll try, have a good day.”

“I will.”

Clarke pulled away and joined Wells.

“So… he said I was hot too, and that he’d like to date me too, but we’re starting off slowly.”

“Good for you, Wells.”

* * *

 

Lexa grabbed her phone and tapped her long slender fingers around the screen. All that seemed to be appearing on her screen were the basic things on her feed. Her friends had yet to text her back. The only person who wasn’t remotely upset with her was Clarke. God… that— that _special_ blonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to leave comments on thoughts and questions


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler chapter.

  


**March, 2021**

 

Lexa didn’t know how she managed to survive the love-madness of February. She got an abundance of fan mail on the fourteenth. Her friends and family had sent her some loving messages.

 _Even_ Clarke.

Speaking of, Lexa had been thinking of the mysterious and memorable girl for a while. She had even become the mindless subject of a random song that Lexa wrote.  

                

**💋💋  : Hey, Clarke. I hope I’m not bothering you, I just wanted to say hi.**

 

Lexa bit her lip after sending the message. Was it too much? She said hi twice. Basically. _One million brain fucks._

_I could write a goddamn symphony. One brain fuck. Goddamn, I said it twice, oh god. Wait, gods? Whatever, fuck? This must be a result of a brain orgasm. Fuck, why am I thinking of sex?_

 

**Clarke: Hi Lexa, I’m doing fine wyd ?**

 

 _Damn fuck, she replied !!! Fuck, um do I say this? Nah._ Lexa found herself typing a response, but then eagerly deleting it as she realized it was _too much_? Whatever.

 

**💋💋: im good, im kinda just sitting here doing nothing.**

 

**Clarke: where exactly is “here” ?**

 

**💋💋: my bed**

 

Lexa felt as though she should have lied and said ‘at the park bench’.

 

**Clarke: oofsies R u sick ?**

 

If Lexa had to be honest, sick wasn’t the word, more like _my legs are too sore to work_. That was all that seemed to be wrong with her. Her dad even compared her to a war veteran during their weekly phone call. Although, Lexa was in a war with herself, and losing miserably. Very very miserably.

 

On the other end, Clarke was sitting on the floor of her and Wells’ bedroom painting her toes while Wells played on his PlayStation. During his small break, he helped her paint her other foot.

“So, Ilian, how’s it going with him ?” Clarke asked. “Is he the one that pays on dates ?”

Wells chuckled, “He’s great, we work out in the morning together, and take a shower, and sort of hang out for the rest of the day. Maybe watch a movie, or go out to shop.”

“Aww.”

 

**💋💋: no**

 

**💋💋: wbu ?**

 

“It seems like I’m not the only one here with a love life.” Wells arched his brow. “Who’ve you been talking to and smiling at ?”

Clarke blushed. She didn't even realize she was smiling.

“I’m a closed and locked voice password journal. I’m saying _nada_.”

“Yes, she picking up some Spanish !” Raven said from the doorway. “By the way, I made dinner so if y’all want some feel free, there’s enough for everyone.”

“Thanks, Rae.”

 

**Clarke: nothing much**

 

**Clarke: im just painting my nails**

 

**💋💋: oooo, wot colour ?**

 

**Clarke: a rlly nude colour.**

 

**Clarke: also, you spell color as colour ?! R u canadian ?**

 

**💋💋: i wish, i hate this government**

 

Clarke chuckled a bit. Wells looked back at her from his game which he was playing with Ilian, arching his brow.

“Stop staring at me like that.”

“Nothing, Ian, just… a possible relationship starting behind me—“

“Nuh uh, Ilian, that isn’t true, I’m only talking to a friend.”

“That’s what I said— wha— babe !!!” Wells focused back on the television to see that Ilian had taken one of his character’s weapons.

Clarke snickered.

 

**Clarke: true**

 

**Clarke: is there anything else you’re doing other than sitting in bed & texting me ?**

 

 _Nah, I’m basically a bed bug right now._ Lexa tried to figure out how she should reply to this message.

“Hmmm.”

Then the device in her hands began to buzz lightly.

 

**💋💋: at this point even i don’t know**

 

**Incoming call: mommy**

 

She answered, “Hello ?”

“Lexa, hey hon’, how are you feeling? Are you okay?”

“Hey, um to answer your questions, the same, and I guess.”

“Lexa…” Anastasia signed on the other end.

 

**Clarke: lmfaoo**

 

**Clarke: i rlly liked the song you sang to me @ the park**

 

**Clarke: do the lyrics have anything to do with y ur in bed ?**

 

Lexa was a bit stunned. She thought that she was for sure mumbling.

 

**💋💋: ig so**

 

**💋💋: yeah**

 

**Clarke: wanna talk abt it ?**

 

Maybe Clarke would be understanding, wouldn’t she? For the time that Lexa knew her, she had been nothing short of sweet and caring and gentle.

 

**💋💋: im just in physical pain.**

 

**💋💋: and idky**

 

**Clarke: damn**

  


Yeah, _damn._ Lexa couldn’t even believe herself.

 

**💋💋: big facts.**

 

“Lexa ?”

“Yes, mom? Sorry.”

“Are you in much pain ?”

“Not as much today,” Lexa answered. “I just feel the pain in my lower back, and my hip joints, and the rest of my legs. Maybe just period cramps, mom.”

_Yeah, because you can shove a tampon up the inside of your bones, and just about every aching joint in your body._

“Lexa, I miss you.”

“I can go there. I can be there.”

* * *

 Clarke walked around the house. She heard laughter from her friends watching movies, telling jokes to each other, enjoying each other. Not that Clarke wasn’t enjoying herself, but she was feeling drained. She felt the question Lexa asked her at the park. She for sure did not want to spend a lifetime in a cubicle.

The blonde dragged her feet to her bed. The blonde stripped down to her briefs and bra and buried herself under her cold comforters.

 

**Clarke: factoid you mean**

 

**Clarke: speaking of factoids, my job sucks**

 

**💋💋: tell me about it**

 

They were big and bulky, but _cold._ She felt the bed dip behind her.

“Hey, squirt.”

Jasper, Octavia, and Raven piled into the bed behind her cuddling her.

“What’s wrong ?”

“Nothing, I’m tired.”

The blonde admittedly wanted her housemates to leave so she could text Lexa.

“From ?”

“Drawing shit.”

Raven was the one to ask, “What exactly constitutes as _shit_ , Griffin ?”

 

**Clarke: it’s tiring, and I have no creative freedom**

 

**💋💋: tell ur boss**

 

The blonde turned around slightly to be on her back rather than her side. Three pairs of eyes and their owners were eager to know what had Clarke Griffin so low.

 

**Clarke: I can’t plus, i might be over exaggerating**

 

**💋💋: u sure ?**

 

**Clarke: yeah**

 

No, she didn’t. Cause she felt like a slave to the work industry. She was now feeling like she wasn’t even accomplishing anything for herself, rather for a paycheck, and to prove something to her parents.

“Clarke ?”

“What ?”

“What’s wrong ?”

“I’m tired of my job, Rae.” Clarke felt rich to finally spit it out. “I hate it. It’s nothing personal with anyone in specific, rather, it just… I hate it. It’s boring as fuck. I’m not even as happy as I was when I started.”

“Really? Cus’ I could build until I die. Even a dildo.”

“Eww.”

* * *

Lexa pulled into her parents’ house. Aden had gone for fencing practice. Lexa braced herself getting out of the car. She took ibuprofen, but her legs were painless until the weight of the rest of her body were on them. She reminded herself to take a deep breath and that there was railing on the stairs of the front porch.

Before she hit the pavement with one step, strong gentle arms caught her.

“Lexa, you’re here.”

“Hey, papa.”

The family dog, Pauna leaped from the backyard fence and wagged her tail at the sight of Lexa.

“Oh hey, girl. You’re like ten, how’d you do that ?”

“Let’s get you inside.”

Alexander was fifty-four, yet did not look a day past forty. He scooped Lexa up and took her inside.

“You were always a daddy’s girl.” Anastasia’s voice was heard from the top of the steps.

Lexa looked up.

 

**💋💋: uwu**

 

**Clarke: rawrxdnuzzlesuwuyousocool**

* * *

“Rae, why’d you put that ?!” Clarke glared at Raven.

The latina shrugged and widened her eyes, “What? It’s the full quote, isn’t it ?”

“I should have shot your phones with my nerd guns when I had the chance !”

“Like we wouldn’t take yours to go on tik tok.” Jasper said making it sound partly like a question, while still having the firmness of a statement.

 

**💋💋: yeah, im actually pretty cold**

 

**Clarke: laugh my ass off**

 

“Okay, she’s talking to kiss emoji, I think we should leave.”

“Good idea, we can’t put Clarke’s shot at a love life in jeopardy.”

“Is it a boy ?”

“ _Sure.”_

Octavia and Raven squealed.

 

**💋💋: uh oh, keep it on**

 

**💋💋: we must keep all buttocks in place**

 

“We must leave then.”

As soon as the three of them got out of the room, Clarke felt her phone vibrate slightly in her hands.

 

**Incoming Call: 💋💋**

 

Clarke’s breath hitched. For a second, she would have let it ring out. Instead, she answered.

“Hey.”

Clarke noticed Lexa laying in a bed smiling back at her.

“Hey, also, did you just wake up ?”

“Nah, I just collapsed on my bed, though.”

“Oh, I was about to say, how is it possible for you to wake up looking _that_ good.”

Clarke blushed and nuzzled her face in her blanket to hide her blush. Lexa smiled back.

“No cap, you’re cute too.”

“Thanks,” Lexa said slightly covering up her mouth. “Wanna talk about why the world is so weird lately ?”

“Mmmhmm.”

And they talked and talked. It was almost as if they knew each other for long.

* * *

“Clarke ?”

“Yeah ?”

“You’re cool.”

“Thanks. So are you.”

They sort of stared at each other for a bit smiling.

“What ?”

“What ?”

“Christ sakes, Elizabeth !”

“Okay, Joseph !” Clarke chuckled right back, “I’m calling you Joseph from now on.”

There was giggling at the doorway. Lexa looked up. Her parents were bunched up together eagerly bouncing on their toes.

“She found a girl !”

Lexa’s jaw hit the floor, and she sort of fumbled.

“A- Although, that’s a really good code name.”

Her eyes still stayed on her parents. Clarke could be heard yelling at someone offscreen when there was a faint, ‘awe, who is Joseph, is he cute ?’.

“A bit to be honest, but please get out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should Joseph make an appearance in future chapters ?


	7. Chapter 7

 

**April, 2021**

 

“Hey, Titus.” Lexa leaned forward and hugged the man. 

For once, Lexa was way more appreciative of him. He didn’t know of her health, and she was glad he didn’t. The last thing she needed was him worrying. 

“Are you ready ?”

Lexa shrugged and nodded. He extended his right arm towards the door of the private jet. While she set a firm grip on the railing and took generous steps up, Titus took her small suitcase up for her.

“Thanks, Titty.”

He sighed and shook his head chuckling.

“It is because of you I will get a name change to something like Tyler.”

Lexa let out a laugh that masked the pain she felt in her lower back when she too freely collapsed onto the seat beneath her. She took some pain medication in the morning, and it just seemed to be taking effect now. She took out her phone and quickly tweeted. She sent a few text messages here and there but that was it. Last night, she stayed up talking with Clarke on the phone. 

The blonde had stayed behind at home alone painting and Lexa facetimed her so she wouldn’t feel so alone. Lexa was staying over at Anya’s in her small house in Orlando. 

“Titus ?”

“Yes, Lexa ?”

“How have you been ?”

“Alright. How about you ?”

Titus already knew about what was going on with Lexa. In fact, Anastasia herself phoned him and told him to keep a close eye on her. Anya was also contacted.

* * *

 

“Woods, Woods, Woods.”

“Anya, Anya, Anya, Lincoln.” 

The blonde took her into a warm embrace and kissed her cheek. Last they saw each other was a few months ago at Lexa’s concert. 

“We missed you.”

“I did too.”

“Now, let’s get you home. Lincoln and I made a whole meal just for you.”

“Cool.”

The older of the two friends picked Lexa up over his shoulder. 

“Linc !”

“Okay, chill out, Lex.” 

Anya and Lincoln both used to live in New York when they were younger. However, when their family moved down to Orlando, the group was split up. The two of them were working hard to find a small apartment in the city at the least.

Florida did not feel as much like home as New York. 

The bulky man led to way to the siblings shared home. It was a small house by the beach. Lexa was sure it was expensive. However, the siblings had gotten it for a much better bargain.

“Wow, this is like, so… it’s—“ Lexa looked around at the interior of the home in awe. “You two really busted your asses off with this. I’m super impressed.”

Lincoln set her down on the ground. Lexa wobbled a bit being caught by Anya.

“You brought flats, right ?”

Lexa nodded, “With or without pain, I doubt I’d make it in heels. Like not even two seconds.”

Anya chuckled.

* * *

 

The blonde sat curled up on the couch with Jasper’s head on her lap, and Octavia resting her head on her other leg. Raven was laying on the floor with Murphy sprawled on her back, and Bellamy was occasionally peeking in from the kitchen. She slightly bit the bottom of her lip as Lexa chuckled and blushed. Octavia reached her hand up and put her hand on her face.

On the t.v. was none other than Lexa Woods. 

Or,  _ Heda _ , rather. The brunette was wearing a skin-tight black dress that tightly hugged her curves just right, with coordinating black flats. After close examination, Clarke noticed the chain necklace on her neck with an emerald stone hanging off of it. It gave the outfit a nice touch. Clarke couldn’t keep her virgin eyes away from Lexa’s legs. 

Well--- Clarke wasn’t a virgin  _ virgin _ , but still. She felt stripped of knowledge and new.

“Really, O ?”

“You must like the interviewer.”

_ No, but the interviewee is like… super cute. Look at that face.  _

“Fuck off.”

Jasper turned his head to look at Clarke. He made a mischievous grin. He could tell now. Two people in the room could see right through Clarke, and that was unsettling the blonde slightly.

“Like I said, Fuck. Off.”

“So, Lexa,” The interviewer crossed his leg over the other. “How old were you when you started music ?”

Lexa furrowed her brows, “Like, um… probably two.”

The audience and interviewer gave her a booming chuckle. Clarke and everyone else in the room made impressed hums. Jasper nudged her shoulder and winked.

“No wonder you like her so much.”

Blue eyes rolled back and Clarke slightly shook her head. But it was true. She felt a strong pull towards that girl, and right then and there, Jasper was showing her how much more feeling she thought she felt. 

“No really, I cried in tune.” Lexa insisted.

The blonde smiled and slightly felt a rush of heat on her face. There was a slight joke in her tone, but it was true. She had video footage of when her father put on the creepiest clown costume for Halloween and had the nerve to try to pick her up even though she looked clearly distraught. 

“And how old were you when you released your first song ?”

“Roughly fifteen and a half.”

He raised his brow and opened his mouth with a slight ‘pop’ sound eliciting from it. Lexa let out a cheeky grin.

“Damn,” Jasper said slightly to himself.

And Clarke thought,  _ Yes, damn. Damn the fact that she looks really good, and she’s so much more interesting than she gives herself credit for. _

“I couldn’t even finish reading a harry potter book at that age.”

_ Damn right. _

“Are you kidding, I didn’t even get through the first two pages, I prefer sci-fi instead of magic and voodoo.”

“It just doesn’t toot my damn horn.” Raven huffed out. “She should’ve saved herself the effort of writing fifteen more books, and just stick to the one.”

Octavia turned her body to face Raven, “Whatever, it’s been released for like two decades.” 

The man squinted slightly and nodded. There were murmurs amongst the audience.

“What? I just-- I prefer memoirs and haikus and poems. I don’t do a series.”

_ God, I love this girl.  _ Clarke let out an elongated sigh. It could have been worse for Lexa. She could have said that in a public school library and then been banned for causing a riot. The brunette moved her hair aside from her face and slightly flinched when she tilted her head a little too much. 

She played it off as if she had caught a snag in her hair.

“Speaking of writing, can we expect another song coming up sometime this year ?”

The brunette clicked her tongue slightly, “Um, I’m not sure. Possibly one, I’m not sure. It might be ready to go close to November. I don’t wanna _ just  _ release one. I’m actually shooting for an album.”

Several shouts of yes could be heard overlapping the applause. Lexa slightly blushed. Clarke sat up a bit. 

“Ow Clarke, you pulled my hair !”

The blonde lifted her hips slightly. The noirette pulled her hair out from under Clarke.

* * *

 

When the interview was over, Lexa immediately flew back home. On her way off the stage, eight people wanted autographs, then it turned into twenty, and then Titus had to get involved.

“Hey, Clarke.”

Lexa was quick to call Clarke. There was no explanation to it, she just felt a  _ pull.  _ She was nearly out of breath. Running in fancy flats away from a group big enough to fill a college classroom was not something she did on a daily. She had the blonde on speed dial. 

(This was something she did a few weeks into their friendship, as Clarke wasn’t mad at her for  _ still _ not seeing a doctor).

“Hey, Lexa.”

The blonde found it slightly odd to hear Lexa out of breath. She had to be running. However, in Lexa’s current state, it sounded like that would never happen. Bottom line,  Something was up. 

“Stop it.”

“Stop what ?”

“I can  _ hear you  _ smiling.” Lexa chuckled, imagining a bashful smile on the blonde’s face. 

“Does it at least  _ sound _ good ?”

“Yeah.”

Lexa blushed slightly. Of course, it did. Cute, too. 

“Clarke, wanna come over and rewatch that godforsaken interview ?”

“You mean the one you nailed ?”

Lexa chuckled, “Going once.”

“You need to stop doubting yourself, Lexa.”

“Twice.”

“Text me your  _ godforsaken _ address, then.”

“Sold, to the girl with the really cute smile, and rare form of an autograph.”

Clarke chuckled. Lexa’s heart squeezed an extra bit. Clarke sighed a little bit at Lexa’s face. Her bedroom door flew open to reveal Wells and Ilian stumbling in, in a heated makeout session.

“Need me to get anything, I’m getting out the house now.”

The couple saw Clarke and paused.

“Carry on.” The blonde insisted getting up from the bed.

Ilian was awkwardly straddling Wells, and the boy under him was basically shutter shocked at how collected Clarke was.

“What, I said you could carry on.” 

Clarke closed the door behind her.

* * *

 

  
  


**April, 2009**

 

_ “Alright, stay quiet, alright, Madi ?” Alexander turned on the t.v. as he sat on the couch. _

_ The three-year-old nodded as she continued to drink from her sippy cup, and opened her arms for her papa. Lexa was coming out of the kitchen after taste testing dinner for her mother. _

_ “Who is it again, papa ?” Lexa asked. _

_ The brunette licked the leftover tomato sauce from her fingers and sat on the couch with her father and younger sister.  _

_ “They’re interviewing the top artists, Lexa.” _

_ “Oh.” _

_ Lexa was expecting to see the Pursuit of Happiness for the millionth time. (Alexander was trying to ‘educate’ his children with the film, however, they paid no attention to it). Madi played with her father’s well-trimmed beard. _

_ “I look weird, hmm? Papa had to shave it because  _ **_somebody_ ** _ said it looked bad.” He made sure to enunciate the word when Anastasia stood next to the television putting on a coat, getting ready to pick up Aden from the local Recreational center.  _

_ “Alex, you looked like a hobo.” She exited and closed the door. _

_ “Did I ?” He looked at his oldest.  _

_ Lexa scoffed and raised her brows, “No, those bangs don’t even fit her anymore, papa, you should tell her about that.” _

_ The relationship between Lexa and her mother was mutual, and the typical parent-child relationship, but Lexa never told the truth sometimes. Like when Anastasia paired a red dress with dark blue heels to substitute black, and Lexa said she looked fine even though it was clear that the outfit did not coordinate from the ankles down.  _

_ “No, Lexa.” _

_ The girl’s shoulders sagged and she frowned. _

_ “Why not, she made you shave your beard.” _

_ Alexander chuckled, “I would not hurt your mother’s feelings. Plus, it doesn’t look  _ **_that_ ** _ bad.” _

_ It amazed Lexa sometimes to see how in love her parents were.  _ **_Yuck, adults._ **

_ “Papa, it does look bad.” _

_ No matter what, Lexa felt that she should take full advantage of the fact that her mother wasn’t home.  _

_ Madi put a distraction in the middle of their conversation with a “Papa, look, it’s hee hee.” _

_ Alexander and Lexa sighed. _

_ “ _ **_It’s Michael Jackson !”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> questions, comments, concerns ? be sure to speak in the comments below.


	8. Chapter 8

 

**June, 2021**

 

 

**THISISANORGYLEAVEUSTFALONE**

 

**Luna: Lex where r u ????**

 

**Gaia: probably dying on her bed**

 

**Roan: stfu Gaia**

 

**Luna: she’s probably 75% rt tho…**

 

Lexa sighed slightly looking at her phone. The blonde turned around from painting on her canvas. Inside Clarke, little art corner was a nice bohemian rug, wood palettes, some snacks, a creative blonde, and a musical brunette. 

The rest of the household had practically left for the summer to lake houses, amusement parks, you name it, they left for the summer. Clarke decided to stay behind. She did not feel like getting caught in a crowd wherever they went. And crummy kids? _ No, ma’am _ . 

Lexa’s group had also split up for the summer. Luna had gone to spend some time with another  _ friend _ “That-y’all-don't-know”. Gaia decided to take her mother to California. And The last Lexa heard, Roan was going to “become one with nature”, and posted a picture on Instagram about him doing some type of wilderness explorer challenge with his girlfriend. It was  _ so  _ Roan of him to do in her opinion.

So, Lexa insisted that she would keep Clarke company if she wanted to. They were planning on having a fun summer (on a budget). On the canvas was a portrait of Octavia. Her friend let her be used as a reference for it, and Clarke was dry as far as ideas, so she took a picture of it and from there she added any more details she felt like putting in the background. Leaning against the headboard, Lexa had her ukulele in arms and was learning a small song.

 

**Luna: you making out in a secluded alleyway ?**

 

**Luna: or a bathroom ?**

 

**Luna: with ur blonde bombshell ?**

 

**Lexa: yo wtf ?**

 

**Lexa: I’m not telling you shiitake**

 

**Luna: are u @ least ok ?**

 

**Lexa: jeez mom, im fine**

 

This was shockingly true. The nerves in Lexa’s body decided to give her a break, and she was  _ literally _ living.

 

**Luna: I think you mean daddy, but ok.**

**Lexa: STOP**

 

“So, Lex, how do you come up with a song ?” 

The nickname ‘ _ Lex’ _ sent shivers down Lexa’s spine. The way Clarke held out the ‘s’- sound, in the end, was basically ear porn. Brought out of her headspace, Lexa turned the ukulele around a bit looking up to see the girl adding another layer of paint, biting her lip.

“It’s really only like--- it’s like writing in a journal. You write your feelings down on the paper, organize them, and then you sit in the tub until you look like a baby in the womb. You repeat this step for like three days, and then one night you’ll be sleeping, and in the midst of dreaming, you wake up with a whole fucking Mozart symphony all laid out.”

Clarke chuckled lightly at her.

“Really ?”

The brunette shook her head ‘no’, “But it feels that way like it’s a lot of work. Days pass until it’s all the way done. Down to the last falsetto.”

Next thing they knew, there was a pause with them staring at each other. It was safe to say they were all smiles at this moment because they were. From her spot against the footboard of the bed, Lexa noticed the freckle on Clarke’s top lip, just under her nostril. The way Clarke’s breathing soothed her was simply like no other at the moment. Wait… Clarke’s breathing? 

If the rest of the house was here, they would be laughing their asses off, or they would be overly encouraging them to get closer. A part of Lexa didn’t think it would hurt to just lean in a little closer and just… taste again. 

“How do you come up with art ideas ?”

Their faces were two inches away at this point, and neither felt like retracting. 

“We sort of have the same process. Just live life, and it sort of just hits your brain like a train.”

The brunette raised her eyebrows and slightly tilted her head sideways.

(An action Clarke found quite cute).

“Brain and train,” Lexa whispered against the blonde’s lips. “Hey, um, I’ve never gotten an autograph from an artist. What do you say we get even ?”

With her lips, she answered. The brunette melted into it. As they moved to deepen the kiss, they bumped the tips of their noses a bit. When they pulled away, Lexa licked her lips loving the taste of Clarke on her lips. Another stroke of paint went on the canvas. 

Next to her was a starstruck brunette trying to collect herself, still licking her lips.

“Want this piece too ?”

The brunette adjusted her ukulele on her lap, and sort of leaned over it, sighing dreamily. God, she was such a sappy little gay.  _ Aren’t I? _

“And you get a song.”

The blonde looked back at her with an impressed expression. She felt as though it was appropriate to give Lexa something nice too. After all, Lexa was a good friend. This (almost) frat house was filled with nice people she grew, but she didn’t feel as close to them. Everyone was growing away from each other with their own lives, and there wasn’t nearly as much time from them to sit around and watch movies like they used to.

“Wow, this is so even.”

As cheesy as it seemed, it was. Waiting for the layer of paint to somewhat dry, Clarke turned around.

“Right, a song. I can’t exactly explain why I chose it.”

“That’s fine.” 

The brunette patted the spot next to her. Clarke obliged. 

“May I ?”

Clarke nodded. She sighed lightly when Lexa rested her head on her shoulder. A streak of purple appeared under Clarke’s nose when she rubbed her nose. For a second, Lexa felt tempted to kiss the blonde. Instead, she began singing. 

_ “ _ _ All I am is a man _

_ I want the world in my hands _

_ I hate the beach _

_ But I stand in California with my toes in the sand _

_ Use the sleeves of my sweater _

_ Let's have an adventure _

_ Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered _

_ Touch my neck and I'll touch yours _

_ You in those little high waisted shorts, oh _

_ She knows what I think about _

_ And what I think about _

_ One love, two mouths _

_ One love, one house _

_ No shirt, no blouse _

_ Just us, you find out _

_ Nothing that wouldn't wanna tell you about no _

_ 'Cause it's too cold whoa _

_ For you here and now _

_ So let me hold whoa _

_ Both your hands in the holes of my sweater…” _

Clarke smiled and gave her some snaps which soon turned into obnoxious claps. Lexa couldn’t hold back the small laugh. Clarke sucked in a slight inhale at the sound of it. Lexa set the ukulele down by her side.

What were they doing to each other? To the two of them, this was goddamn torture.

* * *

 

 

**Two Weeks Later (still June)**

 

“Clarke, I think this is your bra.” Lexa pointed at her own chest.

Doing the laundry was beginning to get so much harder. The duo had moved their summer antics to Lexa’s house. The blonde looked over from her spot at the stove.

“What does the size say ?” Clarke asked, her attention still on the omelet she was making.

Of course, Lexa checked, and when she did, her mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, “Oh, yes, it’s yours.”

“Why do you make that face ?”

Lexa shrugged, “Nevermind. Now, I’m going to change out of this. You’re not wearing mine are you ?”

Clarke awkwardly looked into her shirt, “No, when you’re done, come back down for breakfast.”

“Okay _ , Ma _ .”

Lexa chuckled and as she turned around, she quickly changed bras, sliding on some house slippers.

“How do you like summer so far ?”

“I love it so much, I’d name my future kid, Summer.”

Clarke chuckled a bit, taking a bit of her own breakfast. 

“Really ?”

“Or they could be named after our diet.”

“As much as I love them, I would not suggest Hot Dog for a child’s name. They wouldn’t deserve that humiliation.”

Lexa chuckled. 

“What do you say,” Clarke paused to chew. “We paint our nails ?”

Lexa nodded, “My mom buys me polish every year, I probably have every colour of the rainbow, and it’s lighter and darker shade. I could go get them.”\

After breakfast, Lexa returned with a whole box. The two young adults practically scoured.

“Hi, my name is Joseph, and I’m your Sodium Shower prince of the… closet and I chose to go with black.” Lexa’s eyes were half-lidded, and her voice dropped to almost sound like Aden’s.

“Damn, how do you speak a full sentence like that ?” The blonde 

paused, and her eyes widened.

“Playing around while my voice teacher texted her boyfriend.” Lexa unscrewed the lid of the polish container and rested her right hand on the tabletop while using her left to apply the colour. “It’s also great for making phone calls prank calls especially.” 

Clarke chuckled, “Well, Joseph, I think I like this lilac and this nude colour. Which one should I go with ?” 

“I like the nude colour, it does kinda look pink, though. Lilac looks a bit childish.”

“You're right.” Clarke chuckled leaning forward.

Lexa was already leaning forward a bit too when she moved to do her nails. For (longer than) a second, Lexa eyed Clarke’s lips.  _ What was  _ **_this_ ** _ at this point?  _ However, they kept their spots. Neither of them could quite place a finger on this strange, almost magnetic pull.

And it was just like that for the next few weeks of summer. Either Lexa would stay at Clarke’s or Clarke would come over to Lexa’s. In that span of time, Lexa got to see the shade of scarlet that Clarke’s face turned when she laughed too hard, when she got embarrassed, or when Lexa looked at her sheepishly with a hint of interest. This was a great summer for the two so far. Clarke had never seen eyes of the shade Lexa had. 

The cool thing about them was, they shined brighter when she was happier. Somehow, it made it look like Lexa had a bit of an extra flare to her. Whatever the science behind it was, Clarke loved it. And those lips, god. The plump look of Lexa’s cupid’s bow was enough to make sure that Clarke had something to focus on at quiet moments.

They had only kissed those two times. 

Sometimes they wanted to kiss some more, but the two had the same thought. 

 

_ What the hell is this? _

 

Either way, the two did not feel the need to rush much. When Lexa heard her friend’s muffled sobs, she ignored the creeping pain in her lower back, up in her spine and shoulders and followed. When she made it down to her kitchen, she saw Clarke go out into the back porch, a phone pressed against her ear. Letting Clarke finish the phone call, she instead opened the fridge door and grabbed some chocolate milk. She heard Clarke stop talking and some small sobs again.

_ She’s crying you imbecile, go see how you can help her! _

Lexa set her glass down and went to the door. She opened it. When she saw the blonde, her heart broke. 

“Oh, Clarke, what’s wrong ?”

Clarke flinched and turned around. Her blue eyes were red-rimmed, and her nose was slightly red too. The staggered pattern of her breath when she inhaled was scaring Lexa too.

“My parents. They--” Clarke pocketed her phone and awkwardly stood there crying. “They let it be known how I’m-- that my “mistakes” are “upsetting” them. It’s fine, Lex. I’m just being a baby.”

“Damn, if you want, I can call them right back.” Lexa offered.

The blonde shook her head ‘no’, “Thanks, but it’s not worth it. I don’t wanna drag you into my parent issues.” 

“Will you at least come here ?” The brunette extended her arms towards the blonde who gave her this  _ look _ , before falling into the warm embrace. “Good morning.”

“Hmm ?”

“Good morning, I forgot to tell you good morning, Clarke.”

“Good morning to you too, Lex.”

The brunette held Clarke close to her body and kissed the side of her head.

* * *

 

 

**Late July, 2021**

 

Lexa looked back and forth between Lexa didn’t respond to Gaia kissing her cheek. At least her friend meant it in a friendly way, and it was on her cheek. For some odd reason, she longed for Clarke’s lips against her lips at the moment.

“What did you do while we were gone ?”

“Hung out with a friend.”

Gaia slightly scoffed and Luna caught up. The two girls eyed each other. They weren’t buying this  _ at all _ . 

“ _ Ooooohhhhh !” _

Playfully shoving them away, Lexa not so discreetly chuckled away in an attempt to hide what was clearly feelings for the blonde. Why would Lexa lie ? Oh yeah, because her friends would never let her hear the end of it.

 

_ Oh my god, Lex, you have feewings ?!  _

 

_ Ok, go off Mrs. “I-Hate-Everyone-And-I-Will-Die-A-Virgin”. Is he a cute boy? _

 

_wait, it's a girl?! SCREECH!!!_

 

And then when they hear about it being a girl, and not just any girl,  _ Clarke _ . Oooooh, Lexa could lie for a hot minute. 

“Did this friend lay you ?”

The brunette shook her head ‘no’ immediately. The most they had gotten was kissing. Nothing more.

“No ?”

“ _ Mmhmm. _ ” 

Lexa playfully shoved Luna away as the girl gawked at her. 

“Mmm, Lexa !” she fake moaned.

That ruined sex for Lexa. Right then and there. That was it. On top of it, Luna continued hugging Lexa’s shoulder whispering in her ear, Lexa still cringing at it. 

“What about that other guy you were speaking to? Nyko? He must be your… what?  _ Old man? _ ”

Luna stopped playing around immediately and stopped in her tracks. 

“Hey, leave him alone !” 

Lexa and Gaia both paused and looked at each other surprised, the smirked and looked back at Luna. 

“Ooh, so are you both something? Like, please explain the pictures.” Gaia insisted. 

“ _ Fine _ .” Luna pouted. 

“Yooooooo, and I was just fucking around with you !” 

Gaia gave Lexa an obnoxious high five.

“Lex, is it that girl ?” Luna paused.

For a second, Lexa thought that this was Luna’s way to get at her. Hell, if they saw the siren motions that Lexa’s pupils made when she looked at the blonde…

“The blonde bombshell you were kissing at the….”

The brunette nodded with a hint of a smile and blush.

“You like her ?”

“Did you like what Nyko gave you for dinner whatever day ?”

Luna chuckled and rolled her eyes, “Yes.”

“You’ve got your answer.” Gaia jumped on Lexa and was practically shaking her. “Okay, ow, ow, ow, chill !”

“Sooo, have you made your move ?”

“We know Lexa is a big fat…  _ stud _ ?  _ Femme? _ I dunno, but I myself have other gay friends, and it takes them the apocalypse, and a radioactive earth before they finally make a move. It’s time you be a  _ butch _ , Lexa and  _ do it. _ ”

“Um, how do you know all that vocabulary ?”

Gaia shrugged, “I’m just an ally. And now,  _ your _ ally. You clearly got her number, you’re already talking to her, so…” Gaia put both hands on the sides of Lexa’s face. 

She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. By now, Lexa was unusually nervous. (I mean when your friend is giving you some creepy ass looks… literally, she looked like she was looking for something deep in Lexa’s soul). When she smiled right in Lexa’s face like she had seen some kind of revelation.

“Oh god, you’re in  _ deep _ . Have you kissed her ?”

Lexa cleared her throat and looked down.

“Oh fuck, she  _ did _ !”

Luna took this opportunity to hug Lexa.

“ _ Mmm,  _ Lexa !”

She slightly shook the brunette’s body slightly. The ibuprofen from earlier in the day was masking some of the pain. 

“ _ Mmm _ , Nyko.”

“Fuck off !”

Lexa snickered. It was when a little kid came riding down the park trail on his bike that the trio decided it was best to move from the spot they were at. 

“Hold up, Lex.” Gaia put a gentle hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “I’m happy that you’ve found someone. Like  _ really _ . It’s awkward when you know the rest of us are in relationships, and you’re sort of on the sidelines. But now…  _ whoo, _ Woods, you got yourself someone in the pen. That’s a really damn good place to start.”

“I remember when we were all single.”

“Yeah, and Luna and Anya had all the boys on the playground.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, that was a long one, I swear, I spent so many days writing this even before I started posting the story. Hope it was good. Be sure to comment thoughts & questions.


	9. Chapter 9

 

**August, 2021**

  
  


As soon as the door opened, Lexa smiled at the blonde in front of her. 

“C’mere.”

“ _ Ooh.” _

_ Ooh _ indeed. Lexa had yet to make the move. In fact, once, they kissed in front of Gaia, to receive suffocated laughs. 

 

_ “She hot. But like… you should advance.” _

 

_ “I’m trying.” _

 

_ “Really? Kissing isn’t doing much...” _

 

“I brought some of that fancy rotisserie chicken from Publix.”

“Wow, it sounds great. You hungry already ?” Lexa asked. 

“I’m not,  _ yet.  _ You ?”

“Not really. You could leave it in the fridge.”

The blonde nodded, reveling in the proximity of Lexa’s face against hers, looking up into emerald eyes. (Lexa was taller than her but not so much. Maybe only a healthy few inches). They glistened so well against the orange light of the entryway. 

“I got Hulu now, so there are a lot more options for movies.”

“Cool,” Clarke said. “you’re feeling good, are you? No more pain ?”

“I took some ibuprofen. For now, it’s doing the job.” Lexa said plopping down on the couch, patting next to her for Clarke to sit. “How did the pre-tests go ?”

That was the partial truth, but no matter how much pain reliever she took, the crick of pain in her back was still there.

The blonde obliged, shrugging, “They were good, but they were obviously pre-tests. I hardly knew some stuff.”

“I mean, it’s a pretest, Clarke people rarely pass them.”

Lexa found out in may when Clarke was occupied for some weeks studying for and taking finals. It was once all of that was done that Lexa felt like treating the blonde, so she made her a nice dinner and held her while she slept in a bit. 

“I did dual enrollment in high school, then I took a gap year, and continued after that,” Clarke said. “I’m on my third year. My teachers say that at the rate I’m going, I could graduate a year early. Which I’m shooting for.”

Turning around to look at Clarke again, reaching for the remote, Lexa smiled. She really had a smart one in the pen. Within seconds, the lime green Hulu logo filled the screen, and Lexa gave Clarke the remote.

“Which account you wanna watch on ?”

Clarke went back and forth between her account, and Lexa’s. There was also a guest account for good measure. No one had to know what they were watching on their free time. 

“Either.”

Clarke’s name was highlighted, and they were taken to her home screen. 

“Lex, are  _ you _ majoring in anything ?”

“I do school online. Law. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do other than music. I mean, having a law degree doesn’t hurt.”

Clarke looked up at Lexa to see the brunette cutely pursing her lips into a shy smile, and blushing. They were staring into each other’s eyes, of course, she would be blushing.

“Can I… kiss you ?”

Lexa nodded. To which Clarke gave the girl a peck. A long slender arm wrapped around Clarke’s torso and pulled her close to be taut with her body. There was a sigh from both of them. - - Lexa’s mostly of pain.

“Handmaid’s Tale ?”

“Yeah. Whatever you want.”

 

_ “Step 1: invite her to your house.” _

 

_ Done. _

 

_ “Step 2: go with whatever she wants, don’t trap the poor girl.” _

 

_ Okay. Done. _

 

Lexa trusted Gaia for dating advice, and so far she didn’t know how to quite follow it. Gaia was more of a dive-right-into-it kind of person. And Lexa was… gay. That already made things go so much slower. From the proximity of Lexa’s nose against Clarke’s cheek, she could smell the light rosy body mist. 

It smelled so good, and it resonated so well with the blonde. It was almost even making Lexa high. After a while, Clarke stopped watching and sort of allowed Lexa’s nice long breaths sooth her. For a while, she felt that the moment was too sweet and too good that she was in heaven. Had she passed away?

Because she really thought she did.

A literal angel was holding her.

And that literal angel was seriously so beautiful.

Seriously.

“Clarke ?”

“Yes, Lexa ?”

 

_ “Step 3: under no circumstances do anything dumb _ .  _ If you feel like you are, stop immediately.  _ **_Stop_ ** _.” _

 

_ Fuck. Help. Lesbian Jesus? Tyler Oakley? I fucking need you! _

 

“I like your hair.”

_ Okay. I can add to the rules if I want to. I may not have balls, but I have a pretty big strap. _

“Thanks. I really wanna cut it though, I’m not sure.” Clarke took a piece of her hair and analyzed it. 

“I think it’d look good short.”

As Lexa spoke, Clarke could feel the soft hum of Lexa’s body with every syllable. 

“Really ?”

“Yeah, but it’s your call.” Her hand stopped mid-air for a bit as she moved a strand from the side of Clarke’s face to the spot behind her ear. “It’s soft.”

“ _ You’re _ soft.” By the time Clarke could even process that she said this aloud, the two of them blushed.

Tilting her face down, Lexa spoke again, eyeing the blonde through her lashes with a smirk, “Guilty as charged.”

“Your lips are too.”

Clarke smiled, turning a much more serious shade of magenta this time.

* * *

 

  
  


**Mid-August, 2021**

 

“You better  _ not _ embarrass me.” Lexa scolded.

“I’m not. I’m just gonna meet up with a friend to go buy shoes.”

“Good.” Was the last thing Lexa said before Clarke appeared at the passenger door side of her car.

Swiftly, she moved out of the car and helped Clarke in.

 

**Mad.her.son: yo i think Lexa has a girlfriend. You should see this.**

 

**Gai...a: send pics. I knew it !!!**

 

**Mad.her.son: she’s WHIPPED**

 

**Gai...a: lmfaoooo see ? Im a good teacher**

 

**Mad.her.son: wym ?**

 

**Gai...a: if you have a crush come to ME**

 

**Mad.her.son: okay…. ???**

 

“Hey,” Madi said over her phone.

“Hey, Madi, right ?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

“Thanks.”

Getting back in the car, Lexa gave her a  _ warning  _ look.

“Like I’m gonna do shit.” Madi mouthed to her.

Lexa pretended like she was adjusting her glasses in her face, instead pointing out her middle finger. Madi discreetly snapped a photo.

 

**Mad.her.son: *added a photo* like I said whipped**

 

**Gai…a: i-**

 

The drive began. Lexa and Clarke had their usual conversation. Madi just quietly eavesdropped. That was until she noticed something when they were awfully quiet. She slightly sat up and her mouth slightly gaped open into a smirk. ‘

With this in mind, Madi snapped a quick photo. 

To which she sent to Gaia. 

Lexa had her hand on the gear stick, and Clarke had her hand on top, their fingers laced together. This was  _ gold _ , and Madi knew that she would be on her parents’ good side for some time. 

“Bye, I’m not coming home with you. Mom said I could catch a ride with Liana.”

“Okay fine. Don’t do weed.”

“Don’t do…” Madi lowered her voice and angled her feet so she was able to bust. She got close to Lexa’s ear and whispered, “ _ her _ .”

“I’m giving you a grace period of five seconds.”

Not needing to be told twice, Madi ran into the Forever 21 and that was the last Lexa saw of her for the day. Clarke got out of the car.

“Where do you wanna go first ?”

Clarke shrugged, “I’m not really looking for anything in specific. What about you ?”

“I’m not sure, wanna just walk around with ole Joseph ?” The brunette took some sunglasses from the main pocket of her purse, put her hair into a low ponytail, lastly slipping a random cap over her head. “How do I look ?”

Clarke smiled and slightly pulled the hat down playfully.

“Hey,” The brunette said playfully.

She leaned in a little too much. 

“Come on, blondie lets go inside.” Lexa lifted up her sunglasses and smirked. “They have killer cinnamon rolls here, let's at least get that.”

Without much thought, Lexa took Clarke’s hand and led her into the mall. Clarke slightly rubbed her thumb over the back of Lexa’s hand soothingly.

“I lowkey like that.” Lexa looked back and smiled at the blonde. “Wait,  _ highkey _ lowkey. That’s better.”

Clarke chuckled, “Yeah.”

The way Lexa was looking at her was just  cute . The brunette pulled Clarke closer. She looked into blue eyes and smiled. When Clarke smiled back, her breath hitched.

“What ?” 

“Nothing… you look”  _ beautiful, especially with your hair like that. I swear it grew.  _ “nice.”

The blonde blushed. The brunette couldn’t even hold back kissing Clarke’s cheek. Clarke gave her a sloppy kiss, making it on the corner of her mouth. A few steps later, they got into the main entrance of the mall.

* * *

 

 

**A Few Days Later**

 

“Clarke, how the fuck did you end up in a tabloid ?”

Bellamy furrowed his brows in confusion and pursed his lips. In his hand was a copy of  **_OnBeat_ ** . (Basically, it was a musician version of some teen beat magazine). The blonde looked up from her sketchbook and paused the music. Wells gave out a huff and looked up from his switch, next.

“I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you shut off the music,” Wells said. “So,” he clicked his tongue and turned to the blonde. “You, in a magazine? What’d you do ?”

“I have no idea.” She looked back up to Bellamy. “Give me that. Since when do you read newspapers ?”

“Since when did you get  _ yourself _ on one ?” He retorted flipping to page five. “Here, princess.”

“Don’t call me that. We’re not in elementary school anymore.” 

Blue eyes scanned the page like hell. 

“Clarke ?!” Raven walked into the room shocked, and Murphy was on her back, literally, like a little kid. “Damn, I-- can I come to your wedding ?”

“What wedding? Although, you can have me on the guest list for the baby shower.” Clarke went back to vigorously scanning. 

Murphy gasped.

“She’s joking, I got that implant like, in high school. My mom snuck me out of the group home and I got it at a vets office.” 

The blonde’s eyes widened. 

 

**The mysterious blonde has been nicknamed,** **_Wanheda_ ** **, after the musician’s fans.**

 

“Get the fuck out. Wells, turn on the music.”

By now, Clarke had practically speed dialed Lexa. She couldn’t tell if she was upset or not. She was definitely 25% pissed because some of the facts weren’t even right.

“Hey, Clarke.”

“Hey, Lexa. Um, you see the… tabloid today ?”

“Clarke, I’m Heda, I got a DM from a girl who said, and I quote, “I would kiss your feet if you asked me to”, I’ve seen anything. It can’t be that bad.” Lexa said nonchalantly through the phone, to which Clarke was confused at. “What’s it say,  _ sweetheart _ ?”

Lexa meant it playfully, but it only made Clarke’s stomach flutter. 

“They think we’re a thing.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

“Hey, um, Clarke, can you come over,  _ with  _ the paper ?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

_ “ _ I  _ understand  _ if this is too much for you, Clarke.” was the first thing Clarke was greeted with, next to a guilty looking Lexa. “I was just making lunch, wanna join?  _ Please.” _

The brunette inside the house had a furrow in her brow.and a slight bit of hope in her eyes. The blonde nodded, to which Lexa smiled. 

“Gaia, I have company. Don’t scare her off.” Lexa warned stepping back to allow Clarke entrance into her house. “Take a seat anywhere. Whatever Gaia says,  _ don’t _ take her seriously.”

“Gaia heard that.” The tan girl turned from her spot on Lexa’s couch to hang over the edge of the back of the couch. 

Her eyes widened when she saw Clarke.

“Why was I not sober enough to get you first ?”

Lexa half-lidded her eyes at her friend and gave her the most painful glare.

“Geez, but I mean, you cute.”

Clarke was taken aback by how forward this girl was, “Thanks, are you queer by any chance ?”

This girl would be perfect for Octavia. 

“Yeah.”

“If she annoys you, you have my permission to lash out,” Lexa whispered in her ear.

The blonde whispered back, “Lex, she’s not that bad.”

“Come over here. You like Trisha Paytas ?” Gaia sat down properly as Clarke sat on the couch next to her. 

“Yeah, my friends somehow convinced me to dress up as her last year.” Clarke chuckled (mostly to herself) thinking of herself surrounded by Murphy as Jason Nash. 

“Do you have those pictures ?”

While the two girls watched the mukbang video, Lexa occasionally looked up to the two of them. Looking back at her were a set of blue eyes. The brunette played with the inside of her cheek. When she looked back up, Clarke was next to her. Lexa flinched.

“Clarke, I’m-- if you want to talk about it privately, we can.”

Lexa could look at Clarke, but at the same time, she couldn’t. She felt bad for making Clarke upset. Wait,  _ was _ she upset?

“Is now a good time?”

“I guess. Hopefully, her loud chewing drowns this out.” Lexa set down the knife and paused from dicing bell peppers. “You go first.”

“Yeah, well, um… how-- why do they think that we’re together ?”

Lexa shrugged and blushed, “Go to page five.”

The blonde did so raising her brows realizing as she saw the picture of them kissing in the entrance of the mall. Buzzing her lips and rolling her eyes finally picking up she slightly chuckled. 

“Lexa, I’m being honest here, you’re  _ irresistible _ .”

Involuntarily, Lexa pursed her lips together and smiled.

“Look, if it upsets you, I can make phone calls.”

“It does and doesn’t. Maybe next time.”

“Okay.” The brunette said and she couldn’t keep her eyes off the blonde’s face. “I’m sorry, can I….”

Clarke nodded, allowing the brunette to angle them both in a way to where Gaia could not see them. At least, only see their backs. The brunette gently cupped Clarke’s face like it was the most precious thing in the world. (Which it was). 

“I’m sorry, but this’ll be over with soon. Jennifer Lawrence will come out of hiding, or Halsey will finally get exposed for stealing music, or--”

Clarke shut her up with another chaste kiss.

“I would be okay with just doing this instead of eating.” The brunette commented.

“And I see that. My mom called me to announce that my sister is pulling a surprise arrival, so I have to go buy ingredients for dinner. Save me some, pwease ?” Gaia scurried out of the house.

“Ey, Gaia, tell Jhade I said hi !”

“I will !” 

The door slammed shut.

“Is that true or--” Clarke was confused.

“It is, believe it or not, she’s the better-behaved girl of the family.” 

“Wow.” 

The brunette moved a piece of long blonde hair away from her face.

* * *

 

  
  


**September, 2021**

  
  


Lexa moved a strand of her hair out of her face. Was she even on the right floor?   
“Lexa ?” 

The brunette stopped in her tracks and turned around to meet with a bright Latina girl who was really sporting a utility belt pretty well. Lexa raised her brow in confusion. This girl knew her  _ actual _ name? 

“I’m Raven, I think we have Clarke in common.”

“Yeah-- yes.”

The only reason why and  _ how  _ Raven was able to figure out was when she took Clarke’s phone and dug into the backdoors of security. Raven actually found Lexa much better looking. 

“Your girlfriend is in the very last cubicle to the left. Damn, you must’ve really gotten close to her. She  _ loves _ thai.”

Disregarding the  _ girlfriend  _ in there, Lexa nodded, smiled, gave her a, “I’ll see you around”, and proceeded. When she got into the office, all eyes were on her. Every single coworker as a few got up with their purses or jackets making their way out for lunch, the weird way in which their heads craned back to look at her, Lexa was immune to it. In fact, she even gave them friendly smiles. So much for insisting she was a normal person.

She followed Raven’s instructions and made her way through the walkway between the cubicles. The blonde she was looking for didn’t come out.  Lexa knocked on the translucent wall of the cubicle and then peeked in with a smile.

“Joseph has arrived.” She said in her man’s voice that sounded like she was born with testosterone exclusively in her veins. 

Blue eyes looked over from her phone and smiled when she met with Lexa. When Clarke heard the familiar voice, her chest squeezed, and she was filled with excitement.

“Hey.” She sighed out with a smile, sliding back her chair. 

“Hey, blue eyes. Please tell me you wanted that food.” Said Lexa in a sultry voice, it sent Clarke’s skin into a state of shock.

“Yeah, actually. Sorry I don’t have a chair.”

“That’s fine.”

Lexa peeked her head out, no one was there. 

“I don’t mean to be greedy, but can I get a kiss ?”  Clarke asked quietly.

“That’s not greedy, Clarke.” The brunette leaned in to kiss her.

“I suggest that we get to eating so the soup doesn’t get cold.

The brunette nodded, pulling away, and setting the bag on Clarke’s desk where there was available space. The bag wasn’t heavy, but her arms had been hurting since she woke up. She could even feel the tension in the base of her shoulders and it wasn’t a great feeling at all when her muscles clenched painfully.

“I forgot to ask when you texted me this morning. How are you feeling ?”

The blonde got up from her chair and left the cubicle,  _ borrowing _ Raven’s office chair. The mechanic hardly spent time in the cubicle, so her level of mind would be low.

“Um, my arms are hurting, and this too…” Lexa motioned to the intersection where her neck met her shoulder. 

“I could give you a little rub.”

“Really? Is there even enough time for that? You have like an hour to eat.”

The blonde gently coaxed Lexa to sit on the rolling chair and scooted her up to the desk.

“It’s fine, Lexa.” The blonde insisted. “I also did some researching while my boss looked over some designs…” She watched as Lexa took the styrofoam bowls out, handing her curry soup over. “And then, juvenile arthritis came up.”

The brunette in front of her smirked lightly, “That’s sweet, Clarke, but I doubt I’m old enough for any stage of arthritis. Like, at the youngest, only people in their late thirties get that.”

Clarke took a spoonful and moaned at the taste, rolling her eyes back. This made it extra hard for Lexa not to get turned on. With that, the two chatted and ate. The brunette wished she would have known the blonde’s great taste in foreign food. Pale hands came up to Lexa’s sore shoulders, making the brunette shiver.

“Sorry, does that hurt ?”

The brunette shook her head ‘no’, and placed a reassuring hand on her  _ friend’s  _ hand.

“No.”

The blonde kissed her cheek, and gently rubbed her shoulders.

“What do you want for lunch tomorrow ?” The blonde asked, at this point, her cheek was flush with Lexa’s. “I’m done with this project, I get off sooner. Want brunch ?” 

“Yeah, I can songwrite a bit with you.”

“And I could just draw out some ideas for myself.”

When Clarke massaged the right spot on Lexa’s shoulder, the brunette let out an elongated sigh. She hummed a small tune. 

“The two of us are just the most creative people, huh ?”

Clarke chuckled. On Thursday at their scheduled brunch, Clarke looked back and forth between her sketchbook and Lexa. After a while, Lexa had gotten profusely curious. The blonde hesitantly turned her sketchbook around and Lexa slightly gasped. She had never seen herself in the way that Clarke did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. So I'm not sure when I'll update again, but yeet.


	10. Chapter 10

 

**Late-May, 2022**

  
  


“Yo, Gaia, I don’t have  _ any _ time to fuck around.” The brunette held the phone up to her ear and awkwardly walked around the flower center table at Publix. “She seems like a rose person, but at the same time I’m not sure.”

Clarke was graduating today, and Lexa was the  _ second  _ person she chose to invite. (Her first choice were her parents who were basically one).

“ _ Lex, I don’t know, I don’t live with her ! _ ”

“Me either, but you always somehow have my clothes.”

Truth, in fact, Gaia had on a pair of Lexa’s boyfriend jeans.  

“ _ Got me there _ .” Lexa heard her friend click her tongue. “ _ Ay, Clarke is a nice delicate person. _ ”

“Woah, I have never heard you say that.”

“ _ What? She wasn’t aggressive when y’all kissed! That shit’s delicate as  _ **_fuck!_ ** ” 

“Oh,  _ my god!  _ Google pretty flowers.”

“ _ Okay, um…. I see.” _ snicker. “ _ Sneezeweed _ .”

“If it’s gonna make her sneeze, I’m not getting it.” The brunette made it clear.

“ _ Just get her fucking roses, they are like the logo of love. _ ”

This was when Lexa huffed, circling the table once more, looking to find the better-looking bouquet.

“Okay,  _ fine. _ ”

After choosing, Lexa went back home to shower and get dressed. She slipped into some nice black dress pants and the matching blazer, a staple that forever stayed in her closet since she turned eighteen. They still fit, and to any other person, that was surprising. Recently, she bought several new blouses.  _ Last week she told me that the light blue looked really good on me.  _

The brunette looked back and forth between the sky grey, blue, the white one, and the pale pink one. 

“Christ, I’m Heda, I shouldn’t care. I-- I-- I-- I  _ shouldn’t _ .” The brunette pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. 

But she did care. Fuck the other people who were going to show up and recognize her and snap photos and sprout another tabloid, she was failing to admit that she wanted to look good for Clarke. After fastening the last button of the blue blouse she chose, Lexa awkwardly shuffled to the bathroom. The brunette pulled her pants up and searched for one of her black belts, which she threaded into the waistband. She didn’t fasten the buckle yet, rather she shifted her attention to her mane of waves, actually, they were beginning to look like curls since she missed two days of washing her hair.

“Ay, Joseph, you’re not in pain, right?!”

There were loud stomps throughout the halls of  Heda’s house. Regardless if she locked the door or not, Gaia would still get in. She had a key. Which was fine, because Lexa loved having sporadic company whenever she felt extremely low. The footsteps got closer and then stopped.

“Lexa ?” The brunette looked back to see Gaia. “Looks like you need help.”

“Yeah, actually. I see you showed up early to the sleepover. Although, I won’t be here until after eight or so. I’m taking Clarke out for a drink.”

“ _ Ooh. _ ”

Gaia appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, leaning against the frame.

“Anya says she’ll be here soon. Lincoln too, but he and Roan are gonna have some bonding time.”

Lexa chuckled, “You know that’s slang for,  _ camp out and drink  _ ?” then she turned around. “What should I do with it ?”

For a second, Gaia just stood there pensatively. 

“Half-up-half-down?”

Green eyes smiled. If Gaia worked that brain of hers in the right ways, she could really ditch babysitting, and working at coney island. 

“Get over here, Greg.”

Not to mention, the rest of the gang had names of the opposite gender. Gaia split the brunette’s hair in half, separating the two sections. Next, she twisted the front of the top section and finished it off with a hair elastic.

“How are you two not dating ?”

“What if it’s not time yet? What if this is progressing too fast, I--” Lexa was shaking her head a bit nervously.

“You guys are having full-blown make-out sessions.”

“My ovaries, haven’t dropped, okay?”

This prompted Gaia to chuckle. 

“Do you need assistance?”

The brunette chuckled, “What are you implying?”

She raised her brow and looked at her friend through the reflection. To which Gaia slipped her arm to be in front of Lexa’s body to be in her view. With this, she pointed down. 

“I’m pulling an Anastasia, get a  _ metaphorical _ extension.” 

“How do I do that?”

“Ask her out.”

* * *

 

  
  


**Late-April, 2022**

  
  


“Alright, sweetheart, I really think you should get to studying.”

“I’m  _ trying _ . It’s just-- it’s just hard to believe that I’ll be done with this school agenda.”

The brunette chuckled and kissed the side of her  _ friend’s  _ head, “I know right” You won’t be a slave to the government.”

“Careful,” The brunette warned Clarke hugging her a bit tightly, taking the slight pain in her limbs as a sign to stop bringing the blonde closer. “they might be hearing us.”

This comment sent the two of them into a fit of hysterics.

“Clarke, you have finals to pass.” The brunette let the blonde get one last peck to the cheek. “And, and essay too.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I have to,” said Lexa with a slight smirk on her face. “Come on, sweetheart.”

The blonde looked up from her binder with a smirk, “I like that…  _ sweetheart. _ ”

It made Lexa smile. Motioning towards the work, Lexa raised her brows and awkwardly smiled.

“I wanna get these godforsaken standardized tests over with!”

The brunette gave her another kiss, “The more you study, the higher your chances of passing, The less your chances of having to retest, or spend another year there, the higher your chances of a kiss.”

“I like the last point.” The blonde said with a smirk. 

“I do too.”

The brunette picked up Clarke’s pencil, gently took her hand, put the sparkly mechanical pencil in the blonde’s left hand, and then put it on the paper. Blue eyes looked into Lexa’s eyes curiously.

“What do you think is a good sentence starter for an essay about art history?”

Lexa chuckled. Clarke furrowed her brows in concentration. She was really putting her mind to work now. The brunette encouraged her with _ ‘Mmhmm’ _ and ‘ _ sounds like you _ ’ occasionally. 

“Clarke?”

“Yeah, Lex?”

“You know some about medicine, right ?” 

The blonde set down her pencil and looked at Lexa curiously.

“Basic stuff, why?”

* * *

 

“Clarke, your mother isn’t coming.” Her father said through the phone.

Clarke wasn’t surprised, but for some reason, it still hurt coming from her father. When Abby was upset, she usually became a shut-in.

“I’m still coming, though. I won't miss it.” 

At least her dad was making it, right?

“Thanks for that, I have an idea, but has she said why?”

Of course, she knew. Abby was mad, because she didn’t fall into Jake’s footsteps, and she went her own way. Out of all things she could have become, she chose art, Abby ‘would have been okay’ with medical, but art? She told Clarke that it wasn’t real. Nothing was salvageable by then. 

She made it seem like a Jake problem when it was really an Abby problem. Mrs. Griffin was insecure, always stayed in line, but Clarke didn’t.

“You know your mother, it’s like gasoline to a fire.”

Even Jake sounded tired as he sighed.

“Yeah I know, yet she calls me a baby girl.”

There was a faint, “Is that Clarke?” in the background from Jake’s end of the line.

“Clarke?”

At the sound of Abby’s voice, Clarke sort of sighed annoyedly, “Can you just explain to me why you’re so pissed for no apparent reason,  _ Abby? _ ”

_ For fuck's sake, you’re fifty, try to start getting older and grow up at the same time, huh? _

“Clarke now is not a good time,” Abby said emotionless.

With that, the woman hung up suddenly 

If Clarke had to be honest to anyone else, she wasn’t expecting anything more.

“If you want you can come. You don’t have to say a word to me.”

Clarke got up from her spot painting on the floor and this caught Raven’s attention immediately. When she slammed her phone harshly on her surface, that was when she felt as though enough was enough. 

“Damn Ma, is it that serious?” Raven’s eyes widened as she nearly fell off the blonde’s bed. “Oh shit, what’s going on? Yo, I’m sorry in advance!”

“Abby’s not coming.” She said in an emotionless tone, her voice slightly wavered. 

“Your mom isn’t showing to graduation?” Raven furrowed her brows. “Damn, I-- I’m sorry about that comment. But hey, I’ll see if  _ my  _ mom can support you too. You know how much she loves you guys.”

As much mistakes as her mother made, she knew she loved her, and she knew that she would root for Clarke too. 

“That’s nice, Rae, but graduation is your day too.” Clarke shook her head negatively. “I don’t wanna take away from that, at least my dad’s coming.”  _ That’s something. _

_ Someone.  _

After a few moments, Clarke collected herself and got back on the floor to paint. Whether it was the news or the thought of Abby, Clarke was seeing nothing but red.

“Yo, _blondie_ , you’re painting red all over that poster.”

“This is the background, Rae. I’m good.”

All the blonde wanted was loneliness. 

“Hey, it’s okay to be upset.”

The latina sat on the ground next to her. 

“What’s it supposed to be?”

“I’m not sure. I saw our elementary school yearbook photos, and fetus Jasper inspired me.”

Raven chuckled, “Was it kindergarten ?”

Clarke nodded and chuckled, “Yeah, when he gelled his hair like sharkboy. I miss him, we have to get him to come back.”

The blonde said quietly with a small smile. It was only for a mere second, but Clarke felt happier.

“I mean, his hair is a slight inspiration, because, you know, I just need to paint something.”

“You know, Clarke I’ve figured out that you put so many easter eggs in your art, it’s almost like putting together a puzzle. No sane artist would put that spikey ass hair there without a reference to knives and badassery mixed with it.”

As much as Clarke wanted to be blunt, she preferred to keep her mouth closed.

* * *

 

  
  


**Late-May, 2022**

  
  


“Stadium….” Lexa clicked her tongue and drove around the parking aimlessly looking for an available parking spot that wouldn’t be a mile away. “Stadium.”

Green eyes squinted and scanned around. For once, she didn’t mind the feel of contacts in her eyes. Usually, they felt like another layer of skin or something.

“There you are.”

* * *

 

Lexa was not prepared when she saw the graduating class sitting in their seats in the very front. Swiftly, Lexa found her seat in the back, and crossed her left leg over the other, taking out her phone to browse around.

“... Ok, Clarke, I’m here, I’m sitting next to some girl here, I think she might look good for you.”

Lexa looked up.

There was a faint exasperated ‘ _ dad’ _ and Clarke chuckled. The man hung up from his phone and took a seat. 

“You know, Clarke?” Lexa was the first to speak.

“Yes, I’m her father. Call me Jake.” The man held out his hand with a friendly smile.

Lexa reciprocated, “Lexa.”

“You know, I’ve been excited about this day since forever.”

“Yeah,” Lexa sighed out.

She was nothing short of proud of the blonde.

“You have children?” Jake raised his brow as he turned to look at Lexa.

“No, sir. But I have younger siblings.” The girl looked. “My little brother graduates next week.”

“Wow.”

“Mmmhmm, I remember when we were younger and we just messed around with each other, now I barely see him much.”

Jake hummed in agreement. To Lexa, it was awkward to find things to say to keep the small talk going. But, the brunette was able to do it. Clarke’s father was a good person. However, one thing she wanted to know, was who Clarke’s mother was. 

The blonde had said so much and she was interested. Soon, the ceremony started and Lexa sat up. Okay, she was excited to see her  _ friend  _ accomplish something big. She and Jake clapped for just about every one of Clarke’s friends as obnoxiously as possible. When Clarke’s turn came, Jake and Lexa went ham on snapping photos.

Lexa did school online and due to being on tour, she ditched graduation.

 

**Clarke: if you took any pics can u airdrop them pls?**

  
  


**💋💋** **: sure thing sweetheart. I’m proud of you.**

  
  


**Clarke: Thnx for coming**

  
  


**💋💋:** **of course.**

 

The graduation ceremony ended with a few forgetful, and then everybody was out.

* * *

 

“You look really good in that dress.” Lexa said with wide eyes as Clarke got in her car. “Can I kiss you?”

To which the blonde nodded yes. Lexa leaned over and gave the blonde a kiss on soft lips.

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart.” The brunette said softly as she pulled away. “After all the studying we did.”

“Mmmhmm, I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with teachers, homework, projects, deadlines. You know, everything I’m done with.”

“You are one lucky duck.”

Lexa started up the car. 

“Can I turn on some music?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

A hand came up and turned the knob around looking for the right station. By now, the clock was nearing ten at night. 

“Mmm, have you heard this song?”

“Yeah, I like it.”

Clarke dreamily looked at Lexa as she drove. She saw the way the brunette’s black tank top hung off her body in a way that wasn’t too baggy, yet it showed off how fit she was by hugging her small breasts. She had on men's jeans which in reality looked better on women then on men. Lexa’s lacy mint coloured underwear slightly peeked out from the top of her pants. Clarke saw this, but she ignored it. 

Underwear was simply an article of clothing. (That Lexa sported well). Her hair was in one long french braid down her bad that started in the middle of her head and snaked down to the middle of her back. It looked beautiful. Lexa must have had done some work of some sort of work that made two strands from the front of her hairline come out of place.

To accompany the outfit, Lexa was wearing a choker that had some sort of an emerald charm dangling off. A part of her knew that she was being creepy and weird, but, she couldn’t help it. 

Clarke herself looked gorgeous. Lexa would have said that instead of just plain  _ nice _ , but she felt that was too much for the moment. Her choice of outfit was form-fitting black dress that really made her look beyond gorgeous. The front of it almost folded over on itself like the front of a tunic, allowing for a nice view of her cleavage. Her curls from earlier had relaxed giving her much more natural looking waves. 

Her make up was light, consisting of some cherry lip balm that Lexa was savouring, and licking off her lips from that kiss. Lexa lightly hummed along to the song as she drove, glancing at her  _ friend  _ occasionally. 

“Lexa?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

Clarke’s stomach and chest did a sort of thing where her stomach did a complete tumbling routine, and her chest fluttered like a jar full of butterflies. It was almost like a balancing act like rubbing your belly and patting your back at the same time. Only, this wasn’t frustrating. She would give a small moment to feel this euphoria again. 

“Thanks for coming to graduation, and everything. You’re a really great person.”

“I would do anything for you, Clarke.” Lexa said with a gentle tone, a small gentle smile forming on her face. “--Plus, I didn’t really have anything else to really do until later tonight.”

This prompted a chuckle from Clarke, “Either way, I appreciate it.”

She really felt something for this girl. There was no doubt about it and the thought was making her hazy already. She wanted more than just kissing the girl. She wanted to hold her everyday and wake up next to her every morning with an exchange of verbal love. 

“I-- I’ve met people similar to you, but not exactly like you. _ You  _ Lex, are special.”

Lexa turned the curb and looked at Clarke and smiled. 

“Thanks, sweetheart, you’ve got something one of a kind with you too.”

“Can I kiss you?” Clarke asked barely above a whisper.

To this, Lexa nodded.

* * *

 

“Try every and anything.” Lexa said taking the blonde’s hand into hers as she helped her onto the barstool. “This is your day, sweetheart. Or, night? I don’t know.”

“Really, Lex?”

With this, the blonde moved the seat to face the table top of the bar as Lexa spun.

“Yes, really.”

The bartender slid up to them from the left side of their frame-view and took their orders, making their drinks then and there. 

“My dad sent me a picture of me in kindergarten, you know with that cap and gown that’s only cute when you look back at it at age forty.”

“Can I see?” Lexa asked taking another swig from her tall glass of beer, licking the foam from the top of her lip with one swipe of her tongue.

The blonde nodded, “You have full permission to laugh.”

“Why would I, sweetheart?”

Clarke took the wallet-sized photo and handed it to Lexa, who held it oh-so-gently in her hands, smiling, looking up at Clarke.

“You’re so cute!” Lexa swooned. 

In the photo, Clarke was four or five, give or take. She wore a red cap and gown, clutching a faux rolled up diploma, and the hugest smile Lexa had ever seen on a kids face. Clarke looked like she hat hit the genetic limbo, not looking too much like her father, and not too much like her mother. This little girl grew up to be a beautiful young woman and Lexa felt so honoured to know her.

“Sweetheart, you look so tiny and cute, what are you talking about?”

Hazy from halfway downing her second drink, Clarke chuckled, “I don’t see the cuteness, Lex.”

“Sweet…” Lexa didn’t even realize that she was such a newbie and shallow when she downed her third glass. “heart, you look beautiful so much….” Lexa leaned forward a bit, getting a nice view up Clarke’s nose.

If she wasn’t so drunk already, sober Lexa would totally be kicking herself in the face to make some kind of a rational decision. Well, the two of them would have, but they were drunk. An hour and a half passed, and it seemed like two minutes. Clarke cupped Lexa’s face and kissed the brunette searingly.

“Want to dance?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

Clarke somehow had the most sobriety in her system. She was also the one to take Lexa’s hand, and put another on her hip.

“I’m going blind with these lights, sweetheart.” Emerald eyes flickered and sort of looked around like they had just seen light for the first time. 

And then Lexa’s legs just gave out, causing her to fall into the blonde’s arms. Clarke was definitely drunk enough to keep swaying around with Lexa hanging out in her arms. At this point, Lexa forgot about the sleepover with her other friends. 

“Lex, get up.”

“ _ Wha _ ?”

Lexa tried her best to stand, but her legs had basically been taken from her. 

“Hold on, Clarkie!” was what she managed to mumble and for a few minutes she tried to get up, but her lower half just climbing nothing. 

It only got worse as the bar filled with more people. Men not to mention. Drunk people and disoriented, I’m-too-wasted-to-have- _ any _ -human-decency with five women was not the move. And these weren’t just football dads getting escapes, some genuinely creepy old men were making their way in and eyeing them like a platter.

“Eww, we should go, Clarke.” Lexa’s vision wasn’t stable, but she knew that the winking old man sitting at the bar. “You feel a bit sober?”

“Yeah.”

Lexa finally gained control of her legs and got up.

“I can take over after you’re home.” Lexa said, handing Clarke the keys to her car.

“You’re not feeling bad, are you?” Clarke asked helping her friend into the passenger seat of the car. “Just let me know if you are, at all, Okay?”

“Mmmhmm.”

Clarke helped buckled her up, but Lexa leaned the chair back, and curled up on her side.

“You’re so cute, Clarkie.”

“You are too.”

“Let’s get home, okay?”

“Okay, sweetheart.”

Clarke got into the driver’s seat and started the car. Lexa never left Clarke’s house after the blonde dropped herself off, and helped her get the car started. They had breakfast together the following morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to Billie Eilish's new album and Xanny, My Strange Addiction, and Ilomilo are my favourites.


	11. Chapter 11

 

**October, 2022**

  


It shocked her. The fact that she managed to create another album that she poured her heart into in one summer. She spent many hours upon hours seeing what she could add to make the songs really _hit_. The next thing that shocked her was the fact that she was managing physical pain the point where she forgot about a doctor. At least, for a while she did.

She hadn’t even brought up anything regarding their whole relationship with was in a limbo phase between friends and dating. Whatever their deal was, they both had to come up with something fast.

Lexa was set to leave for tour as soon as all her songs were put together, and the usual process. By _November_ , (December at the latest) she would be in another state or country singing her songs and following her routine until she made it back home.

The way she was leaning against the countertop was to minimize the rest of her body weight from coming onto her legs. From her thighs down, she felt sore like she had run a marathon (which she hadn’t) and then Aden took a nice swing with a bat to her legs (which he hadn’t).

She didn’t have any more medication, nor did she feel like asking for any to draw attention. She had to prepare herself for the fact that she would be on her feet for the next few months. She was going to have to deal with this just like she had been doing the previous months. She bit her lip lightly as Gaia babbled about nothing to her.

“ _Hey, Mrs. Woods! Lexa has a crus--_ ”

Before Gaia could finish the sentence, she hung up the facetime chat. Whenever Lexa spoke with her friends, they wouldn’t let the conversation end without mentioning Clarke and after a while it got annoying. Anastasia’s jaw dropped.

Lexa leaned her face and weight into her hands which were propped up on the countertop by her elbows, “Christ.”

“What did I just walk into?”

Sixteen year old Madi walked into the kitchen instantly wondering what was going on. Why was her sister looking mildly embarrassed?

“Save yourself.” Lexa said under her breath.

Anastasia’s left eye began twitching.

“Please, Mouse.”

“On all levels except physical, I am a racoon.” Madi said, shuffling past, slightly bumping her mother’s shoulder as she moved to get a drink from the fridge before proceeding back upstairs. “Carry on.”

After her little overreaction, Anastasia looked at Lexa awkwardly. Lexa had only witnessed her mother like this whenever Aden brought up a girl. But now, it was happening to her and Lexa wanted to shrink.

“Honey, is this true?” Anastasia grew a smile. “Are you- _who_?”

“Will you make it awkward?”

Lexa’s main goal was to preserve as much secrecy as possible. If Anastasia really wanted answers, she wasn’t getting any.

“No, honey, I won’t.”

“Wait a minute, I know who you’re talking about.” Madi reappeared and took out her phone.

Lexa sighed and covered her face. Finding absolutely every available thing to help buy her time, she grabbed her phone and airdropped as much memes as possible. (Photos that Gaia and Anya sent that were genuinely funny). Anastasia ran towards her youngest, eager to see who said girl was. If this girl was making her daughter like this, she hoped she was some good.

“Her name’s, Clarke.” Madi said. “Wait! Lexa, stop!”

“Why is that coming up?” Anastasia asked furrowing her brows.

“Stop airdropping stuff and let me show her.” Madi continued declining the airdrop requests until Lexa finally stopped sending pictures. “There you go, mom, that’s your future daughter-in-law.”

Taking the phone from Madi and bringing her glasses up to her face, Anastasia analyzed the girl on the screen.  When Anastasia looked up, Lexa thought for sure that her mother wouldn’t let her hear the end of it.

“Lexa, are you dating her?”

“No.”

“This is where you come in, mom. See you both later.”

Growling and putting her face back into her hands, Lexa knew for sure that her doom was approaching. Madi left and it was just the two of them together in the kitchen again.

“Lexa I can tell you like her. You do the same thing Aden and your father do.”

Turning to the fridge, Anastasia handed her a juice.

“How long have you known this girl?” Anastasia raised her brow.

“Almost two years mom.”

“And you’re not dating at least?” The older woman scoffed. “No, no, no, honey, this must go forward. Ask her on a date.”

“Mom, how?”

“Look, you are leaving for some time, you have to go knowing that you at least attempted.”

“How mom?” Lexa was genuinely curious.

If you knew how her parents met, you would be skeptical too.

“Sit down, and I will give you a lesson.”

“-Hey mom, um, why don’t you give ne a lesson while I play on the piano, huh?” Lexa suggested, knowing full well she would just focus on the song rather than the lesson.

“Sure, honey, whatever works. I actually read a study about listening to music and having a conversation…”

Lexa had already zoned out.

* * *

 Clarke found herself in her room. Lexa didn’t text her this morning. She found herself occasionally telling herself that it was okay. This didn’t mean anything, but talking with Lexa had become routine. A part of her felt as though she was caring about Lexa much more than she thought she should have.

She felt as though this girl was truly special to her. She hadn’t felt this way about a person ever. And from what she heard from Raven and a few others about love, _this_ was something similar. Everytime she kissed Lexa she felt as though she were falling into…

Falling in…

A safe place.

 _She felt like hiding in and being in it forever. As long as it was with that brunette_.

  


**💋💋** **_:_ ** **hey sweetheart. I miss you so much. Want to go out before i gotta leave?**

  


Clarke’s brows furrowed at the sight of the message. She bit her lip and smiled.

  


**Clarke: sure. Where to?**

  


**💋💋: wanna see a movie at a drive thru?**

  


_Sounds nice._

  


**Clarke: i’ll pick u up if u want.**

  


**💋💋: sure what time?**

  


**Clarke: idk.**

  


**Clarke: what time do you think is better?**

  


Clarke liked this girl and she felt exposed for some reason. She wished she would’ve called her mother to babble about it, but she didn’t.

* * *

 So, when the time came for Clarke to pick Lexa up, she took her time, still moving as quick as possible. She had the opportunity to maybe talk about it with Lexa. Plus, she wanted to feel the brunette’s lips on hers again. Lexa was leaving for tour soon. Who knew when she would come back. Arriving to Lexa’s house, she saw the brunette struggle to make it down the front porch. To this, Clarke hot out of her car and took Lexa’s hand, helping her step by step.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hey, Lex. You hurting a lot more?”

“Mmhmm.”

Clarke frowned sympathetically, “Why didn't you tell me, Lex?”

The brunette shrugged. Lexa was just glad to see her favourite blonde. With every step she took, Clarke was by her side and she liked that. She would never get tired of that.

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“Sorry I haven’t talked to you. I was just making sure everything is done for the show. It gets hectic around these times.”

“That’s okay, Lex.”

It was. In fact, Clarke had been occupying herself with catching up on her own art. Lately she had so much ideas and she just had to get them somewhere. Once they were both situated in the car, Clarke looked at Pexa with a cheeky smile. The brunette blushed.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to just do i—“

Clarke wasted no time leaning in. Lexa leaned forward, elongating the kiss. Pale hands cupped the sides of Lexa’s face. The two didn’t even know how much they missed each others lips until they tasted again. Lexa wanted so bad to say it, but she didn’t.

Simply, she intertwined her fingers with Clarke’s as the blonde drove. She didn’t want to leave her. Ever. This girl was pulling on her (not literally), and she reveled in it. In her thoughts, she knew that she loved this.

Not _just_ this.

Rather, this girl.

Her toes flexed a bit, trying to milk out the tugging feeling of her muscles that were awfully painful now. Maybe she _should’ve_ gone to a doctor. The brunette loved the feeling of this girl’s fingers. They weren’t long like hers, but they were perfect. Clarke silently sighed as Lexa analyzed her fingers, and ran her own finger over them, analyzing them.

Lexa’s fingers were long, gentle, and silky. She was gonna miss the feeling of them when she left.

“How have you been, Lex?”

“Busy.” _Thinking about you. I even let my mom make a plan for how to ask you out._ “You?”

“I’ve just been working on artwork since I’m off of work.”

“Can I see when you’re done?”

“Of course, Lex.”

They had arrived to the clearing behind a diner that had existed probably a decade before the two of them were born. Clarke held Lexa close until Lexa suggested the get on the rooftop of the blonde’s car.

“Lex, are you even gonna be able to get up there with your legs?”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay, Lex.” Clarke helped the brunette out and took her hand.

Her car wasn’t big, in fact, it was a nice small toyota. It did the job of taking her to point a and b safely.

“Let me help you up, okay, Lex?”

Like every time, the goosebumps on Lexa’s neck went ham. Normally, Lexa would have insisted to get up herself, but this time, she let the blonde help. Gently, Clarke lifted her up, wrapping both arms around Lexa’s waist, hoisting her up to the roof. Lexa allowed some giggles.

“Wow, you’re such a bodybuilder, sweetheart.” Lexa chuckled, leaning forward slightly to kiss the top of Clarke’s forehead.

Clarke gently placed her on the top and crawled up, next to her. In front of them was the projector. The movie had yet to be shown yet.

“Want some snacks?”

“Not yet, come here with me.”

Lexa wanted nothing more than to cuddle with Clarke. The fact that she would be away from this girl was something she wanted to put off for a while, but at the same time not. This was very evident in the emerald jewels, so Clarke cautiously put an arm around Lexa’s shoulder, and pulled her in close. The pain in her legs which crawled up to her lower back and hips like a bitch was causing her to awkwardly sit. To Clarke, Lexa’s discomfort was obvious.

“Lex, you wanna lay on your stomach?” The blonde suggested.

“Hmm?”

Clarke turned towards her, moving some hair out of the girl’s face, “So your legs can relax.”

 _Lexa you are staring._ **_Staring!_ ** _Oh jesus._

“Right, yeah, that’s smart, sweetheart.”

If you could see Lexa’s face, she looked so dopey and cute and the blonde couldn’t resist the kiss she placed on the brunette’s jawline. She awkwardly shuffled her body, and pressed herself close to Clarke. She would take as much warmth as she could. Before the film began, Lexa snuck a kiss onto Clarke’s lips that went reciprocated before the beginning credits.

* * *

 “Clarke?”

Alarmed by the waver in Lexa’s voice, the blonde turned around.

“Yeah, Lex?”

“I’m gonna miss you.” Lexa was fighting tears.

Bringing her hand up to the side of Lexa’s face, Clarke kissed her opposite cheek, “Me too.”

“All those sleepovers we had.”

“Yeah.”

Lexa gave her a long searing kiss.

“I actually, I want you to have something.” Lexa weakly got up from the top of the car and went to the front seat to retrieve her hoodie. “I want you to have this.”

Clarke furrowed her brows, Lexa almost always wore this hoodie, “Why, Lex? It’s your favourite sweater.”

“I know, and I know how much you like it, and I’m going away for three months, maybe more, and I want you to have a piece of me. Don’t worry, I didn’t sweat in it.”

With that, Clarke smiled, and took off her own sweater and handed it to Lexa.

“A piece of each other. Even.”

Lexa hugged Clarke’s hoodie close to her chest, inhaling the blonde’s scent. She smelled like… _sweetness._ On the roof of the car, Clarke inhaled _autumn_.

“Thanks, Lex.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Thanks for yours.”

“You’re welcome, Lex.”

Lexa got back on the car, and cuddled into warm arms.

“I’m proud of you, Lexa.” The blonde whispered against her head before pressing a kiss there. “I’m so proud, Lex. You’ve really come a long way.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Lexa bit her lip. “Clarke?”

“Yes?”

“I would like to call you sweetheart for as long as possible.”

“You keep can calling me that, Lex. What are you trying to say?”

“Sweetheart, I know I’m leaving, but I… will you be my girlfriend, Clarke?”

The blonde looked at Lexa, feeling her body shiver. Whether it was from pain or just pain nervousness from all the courage she mustered up to ask Clarke that. In fact, the blonde was too flustered at the sentence, that she didn’t realize how exposed her feeling were about Lexa.

“Sure, I do.”

The brunette felt the same way she did, and to her that meant a lot. It meant that she had someone.

“I would certainly do this with you. But how will we do this with you leaving?”

Lexa smiled and kissed her, “I won’t skip our daily calls.”

With this, Lexa gave Clarke another kiss. And then Lexa thought, _maybe just maybe we can be more than this one day._ Maybe they would. Lexa out an arm under Clarke’s head, and her other on Clarke’s waist, accompanied with her nuzzling the blonde’s cheek. All Lexa could fathom at this moment, was that she did it.

“Is this considered a date?”

“I guess so, if you want.”

Clarke kissed the brunette’s top lip. The side of Lexa’s face was taut with Clarke’s and thanks to the proximity, Clarke heard the small tune Lexa was humming into her ear. Lexa continued, rubbing gentle circles on the little amount of skin exposed below her shirt.

 _I like this. I really like her. She’s so special to me. Since I saw her she’s always been. I want to make her feel special_. Clarke thought.

Lexa’s notes were singing, _I don’t know how I would have left if I didn’t say a thing to you. And now I feel lucky. And now I just want to pour every drop of love I have for you._

Lexa continued humming.

 

_“In peace may you leave the shore,_

_In love may you find the next,_

_Safe passage on your travels,_

_Until our final journey to the ground…”_

 

Clarke closed her eyes allowing Lexa’s voice completely envelope her on an audio ride. Ms. Green Eyes kissed her temple.

 

_“May we meet again.”_

 

“That’s beautiful, Lex.”

Lexa kissed her lips, “Thanks, that was a snippet.”

“I really liked it.”

When Clarke cupped the side of Lexa’s face and kissed her, the brunette sighed in relief and rested their foreheads together.

“Clarke, when I’m gone. I want you to think of this song. No matter where I am, where I go. I will always come back to you, I will always be with you, and we will meet again in the end no matter what.”

“I like that so much more now.”

Lexa chuckled, “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I tell u next chapter will be angst... 👨🏾💻🤡
> 
> also, be sure to comment thoughts and suggestions. Thnx and have a good rest of the day/night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And i ooh--

  
  


**December 2022**

  
  


“Hey, babe.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” Lexa laid in a bathtub full of ice for her legs. 

The shows only made it worse. All Lexa wanted was to be back in New York cuddling her girlfriend.

“How are you-- how are you feeling?”

The ice was doing wonders, numbing her legs. It would be okay to say yes, right? The frame of the camera was only catching her chest up. (Lexa had on a shirt which she bunched up to keep it from getting wet).

“My legs were hurting, but now they’re not. I’m  _ icing  _ them.”

Lexa looked like she had made a new household discovery with that half dopey smile of hers.

“Ooh.”

“How have you been?”

Lexa shifted, causing the ice to loudly slush around.

“Good. Missing you. I actually got a promotion.” Clarke said with a smile.

Lexa got caught up in the sight of beautiful blue orbs and sighed. This was her girlfriend. This beautiful, artsy girl was  _ her girlfriend _ .

“Babe, you’re staring.” Clarke blushed and tried to cover her face.

“Sweetheart, do you see yourself in the reflection? You’re beautiful and I’m lucky.”

Clarke chuckled, “That’s sweet, babe. But I’ve literally stayed up all night painting.”

“A commission?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, I’ve been working on it for almost two weeks.”

“I bet it’s beautiful.”

“I dunno.”

Lexa scoffed, “Can I see it, babe?”

“Sure, but it’s not done yet so it looks awkward.”

The blonde flipped the camera to show the canvas she was working on.

“Sweetheart… it’s  _ super  _ good. It’s amazing.”

“Thanks,” Clarke said with a proud smile.

Lexa was beyond excited to surprise Clarke when she got home. She cringed a bit feeling a sharp pain flash through the inside of her bone.

“Babe, you okay?” Clarke asked furrowing her brows. “Baby?”

“I--  _ ooh _ this ice is really…” The brunette lifted herself up and shifted her weight awkwardly. “something else. But this is the best medicine for my legs right now but  _ ooh _ .”

Clarke bit her lip, “How are you holding up with the shows and everything?”

“Good.” This was the truth-- well at least…  _ partly _ . “But I’m on the road for another month.” 

_ That  _ was a lie. Lexa would be home for Christmas. She wanted to surprise her girl. (And her friends too of course, but definitely her girl). 

Clarke frowned a bit. But hey, _she’s coming home_ _when she’s done. At least she’s coming back_.

“Hey, Clarke, I promise I’ll keep calling you every day, okay, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I love talking to you, I could never miss your calls.” 

Lexa let out a small smile. She thought she should’ve just told Clarke then and there that as they spoke, she was planning to get on a plane after lunch for New York.

* * *

 

A phone call every day was something, but Clarke missed being with her girlfriend in person. Lexa told her that touring would be over  _ sometime soon _ , and she was patiently waiting. She just couldn’t wait to hold her again and kiss her. Octavia pummeled into the room with a case of beer, Jasper following behind.

“Hey, Jas, how’re you? Haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Yeah, so as the only people here, and in favour of catching up, we will drink. You up to that?” Jasper circled his hips about before plopping down on the bed.

“Sure.”

_ A drink doesn’t hurt.  _ (Plus, Clarke hadn’t had a sip of alcohol since Thanksgiving dinner).

“So, how’s work?”

Octavia passed out beer bottles and twisted hers open effortlessly. Jasper narrowed his eyes before taking a sip. He cocked his head to the side awkwardly.

“The fuck is that sound?”

This was followed by low moans. For a second they wished they invested in money to move out.

“I should’ve mentioned that Rae and Murphy are here…”

“Whatever, let’s  _ drink  _ the sounds away.” Octavia nudged Clarke’s arm and arched her brow up. “So, is that custom-made artwork you’re working on?”

“Yeah.” Clarke took a swig of alcohol. “It’s like a sad one too. But I mean I took it because Kane hasn’t asked me to do any more sketches for him. We’ve started working on the building I mapped out earlier.”

Clarke played with Jasper’s incoming mustache. Jasper wrinkled his nose and swatted her hand away.

“What?” Jasper scoffed. 

“Nothing, I’m just shook that you’re grown but you still haven’t grown up.” Clarke pulled on a hair of his causing him to sneeze. “Ew.”

“Wha?”

Clarke repeated, but the slurs still hung on her words. God, she wished Lexa was here with her, snuggling, laughing at her friends, and just being  _ domestic _ .

“I miss my baby.” She thought out loud, puckering her bottom lip.

“Wha baby?” Octavia was slurring now.

Time was passing by so fast and they hadn’t noticed the fact that they were all sharing from a liquor bottle now. Their throats seemed to be numb to the burning of alcohol sliding in. Octavia had actually stolen it from Bellamy’s secret-sacred-alcohol (duffel) -bag. (It was also supposedly expensive).

“Lexa,” Clarke said with a slight frown. 

What she would do to have her girlfriend with her at that moment being intoxicated fools.

Octavia opened her mouth and clicked her tongue as she held her hand up looking as  _ professional _ as possible “I mean… Lexuh is a  _ very vewy _ \--”

“Haha, you said  _ vewy _ .” Jasper interjected snickering idiotically. 

“You just said it too! --Anyways, Lexa is very busy  _ perthon _ and she sings on almost every continent.”

“I know, but her tour is much shorter because she said she’s staying in the states.” Clarke sighed. “But I mean it’s her dream, and she has fun doing it.”

“ _ Ooh.” _

“I want to hug her and kiss her,” Clarke said dreamily before taking another sip.

“Aww.”

“Thaths  _ GAY!”  _ Jasper exclaimed chuckling to himself. 

The blonde retorted, “I _ know _ !”

* * *

 

“Hey, um…” Lexa frowned at the bitter smell of alcohol in the room. “where’s Clarke?”

“You’re her baby. Yeah, she said so before she left.” Octavia pointed out, barely able to keep her eyes open. 

“Where is she, O?” 

“I dunno.” Octavia shrugged.

Lexa looked around, “Um… do you need some water? I’ll get you some, ‘kay, O?”

The two had spent some time together, like when Lexa would be the one to come over and Octavia would be too lazy to get up from Wells’ old bed. She had never seen Octavia  _ this _ intoxicated. Lexa returned with two water bottles.

“Be sure to get him to drink when he wakes up, okay?” Lexa asked Octavia.

“Mmhmm.” The noirette mumbled.

Lexa dialed Clarke’s number. There was an answer, but Clarke didn’t speak on the phone. She heard background yelling.  _ Yelling. _

“Babe? Clarke? Sweetheart?” Lexa spoke into the phone. “Sweetheart, where are you?”

There was no “radio silence”, there was simply yelling in the background between Clarke and audibly older woman.

“Babe, tell me where you are, I’ll come get you,” Lexa spoke rapidly.

She moved to run but stopped because her legs were protesting in pain against her.  _ Please, I’ve gotta get to her.  _ Lexa held onto the wall to keep her balance. 

“Hello?” This was Jake’s voice. 

“Hello, um Clarke, do you need me to come get her?”

“I think that’s best. She’s drunk and I highly doubt it’s safe for her to drive.”

“Can you send me the address so I can come get her, please?”

“Yes, of course, wai- Abby!--”

“Hey, Lexa, how fast can you get here?”

“I’ll try to make it there as fast as I can, sir.” 

Lexa’s stomach  _ just dropped _ . There was an uncomfortable feeling in her gut. She received a message, and gave Jake a quick “Thanks”, before limping to her car, wincing the whole way.  _ Please be okay, sweetheart. _ Lexa got into her car and quickly synced it to the GPS. 

“Just  _ fucking _ go!” Lexa yelled sending the car into drive. 

She didn’t understand this feeling she had in her body right now. She was going over the limit and it was dark and a few drops of rain hit the front view window of her car. This felt unreal to her. A very huge part of her was worried about what Clarke was doing yelling at someone. The brunette knew it was best to push this aside, and just keep going and get her girlfriend. 

The address to which the Griffin’s house was in, was closer to the heart of the city. 

Close to her own parents’ house. 

Lexa hit the gas even harder. She was so close to seeing her girl again and she wanted to. Lexa pulled into the subdivision and leaned forward looking around. She slightly pulled some of her foot’s weight off the gas, as it was causing the rest of her leg to ache like a pulse. She parked in the driveway and hastily got out as fast as she could with a hobble in her step.

“Lexa, you’re here.” 

Lexa nodded at Jake. The man excused himself to go into the living room to get Clarke. 

“I didn’t know I had a younger sibling by the name of pills, Abby. It must be your  _ favourite _ child, huh?” The blonde growled, slurring some of her words. 

She managed to sober up a bit. She turned around and saw Lexa and gasped.

“Babe.” Clarke paused looking at Lexa and wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

“Hey.” 

Lexa was happy to see her girlfriend, don’t get her wrong, but she was confused. --Confused as to why Clarke’s mascara was running down her face, why her cheeks were red, and why she made that comment. 

“Thanks, Jake.”

“No problem.”

Clarke came close to the door in disbelief of seeing Lexa there. The brunette kissed her cheek and locked arms with her (for support). 

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go home, okay?” Lexa said with a small smile.

“Mmhmm.” 

The two slowly but surely made it down the porch steps. 

“Are your legs hurting, Lex?”

“Yeah,” Lexa said helping Clarke into her car. “Let's get home.”

“Can we snuggle?” Clarke asked quietly with a sad smile.

To which Lexa nodded and chuckled giving her a kiss on the cheek, then lips. She closed the door while Clarke buckled up. Determined, she leaned on the side of the car for stability as she moved to the driver’s side. The rain soaking her encouraged her to move faster.

“Lex, can we talk about this in the morning?” Clarke asked turning her head to her girlfriend.

Lexa nodded, “I’ve got water here, wanna drink some?”

“Sure, babe. Thank you.”

Lexa began the drive. Blue eyes never came off Lexa. She saw green eyes look around into the road before them. She wondered why Lexa squinted so much and sighed and rubbed her eyes. In fact, Clarke herself was finding it hard to keep her eyes open.

They didn't know what to say to each other. 

“Baby, I- I missed you so so much.”

“I did too, I’m glad to be home but I’m tired and since you’ve mentioned it, I really wanna cuddle,” Lexa said taking Clarke’s hand and kissing her fingers. 

Lexa was doing a phenomenal job at hiding the fact that she couldn’t see anything with the pouring rain. Every time the car slightly bumped, her vision went hazy. She gulped and gave Clarke’s hand a squeeze.

“Hey, um… sweetheart, try to stay awake for me, ‘kay?” 

Lexa’s voice had so much worry about it. She didn’t feel safe driving. Lexa turned a corner and turned too much.

“Lexa?”

Clarke took the steering wheel and adjusted the direction the car was going.

“You okay, baby?” Clarke asked putting her other hand on Lexa’s back. 

The brunette looked at her with narrowed eyes full of confusion. Then, she touched the side of Clarke’s face.

“Babe, you’re scaring me.”

“Clarke, I can’t see.” The statement presented more like a question.

“What do you mean?” 

Now Clarke was concerned.

“Everything looks  _ fucking _ blurry, Clarke.”

The blonde didn’t quite know what to do. Clarke looked back and there was no one else on the road. 

“Want me to drive? How far are we from home?” Clarke offered.

“The GPS says fifteen minutes, I think I can make it.”

“You sure?”

Lexa nodded huffing, looking down. 

“Hey, baby, it’s okay, I can drive if you want.” 

Lexa started the car again. Clarke kissed her cheek and gently rubbed her shoulder before the drive back to Lexa’s ensued. The brunette put the car in drive and she couldn’t stop trembling. Clarke put her hand on the wheel just in case. 

“Baby, I can’t see!” Lexa sobbed, her teeth chattering a bit.

Clarke was nervous, “Calm down, baby. I’m right here.”

Lexa took one hand off the wheel to wipe her eyes to maybe  _ unblur _ her sight a bit more.  _ Goddammit, Lexa stop it!  _ Lexa wanted to get home as fast as she could. She hit the gas and the car began going a bit faster. The brunette’s legs and feet were hurting from the extreme force, but she didn’t mind. Lexa leaned forward moving around her shoulders cracking her back, then shuddering in pain.

_ I shouldn’t have done that.  _ All Lexa was focusing on, was the road ahead as the headlights of the car illuminated the way. She also focused on Clarke’s hand on the steering wheel. Concentrating on how it would come in and out of focus. They finally got to Lexa’s house, and as soon as the car parked in the driveway, she took a big sigh and crossed her arms on the steering wheel, leaning her head there. 

“Babe, Lex, hey…” Clarke took off her seatbelt and put a hand on her girlfriend’s back. “Babe, you okay?”

“Can we go take a shower and cuddle and go to bed?”

“Yeah, Lexa.”

* * *

 

Neither Lexa nor Clarke let each other go in the shower.

“Lexa?”

Lexa ran her fingers through long blonde hair.

“Yes, Clarke?”

“I forgot to ask you how your tour was, baby.” Clarke looked up to place a kiss on Lexa’s cheek, then humming softly. “Was it fun?”

“A bit. I was just excited to talk to you at night.”

Clarke chuckled a bit. After a while she finally got Lexa to calm down. Lexa was taller than Clarke by two to two-and-a-half inches, but at this moment she felt smaller. 

“How were you while I was gone?”

“I had work, and in my freetime, I was working on my commission, but yeah I looked forward to talking to you. I just didn’t anticipate for you to come early, I could’ve gone to the airport to get you.”

“The whole point was to surprise you, baby,” Lexa said kissing Clarke’s lips after answering her. 

Clarke smiled, “And surprise you did.” she looked up at her girlfriend. “Lex, can I tell you something?”

“Sure, what?”

“About what I was doing at my parents’.”

“Sure, baby, yeah, sweetheart.”

“Well Jasper and O, came into my room and we drank a bit, and they passed out, and then I-- I dunno, something literally  _ possessed _ me to go to my parent’s house. I got there and my mom answered with this nasty attitude, and she said “let me get my pills real quick and I’ll be right back at you”, and after some random yelling and arguing of me following her up to the bathroom, I find out that she’s taking drugs from the hospital that she  _ stole _ . I was drunk but I still had common sense. And my dad, she was able to hide that from him too and everything as just plain horrible, but it explains why she’s been such an ass lately. It wasn’t her, it was the drugs.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke.”

“No, Lex, I-- I'm not sad, I’m just more shocked.”

“I am too. You know, if you want to talk about it, I’m here. Okay?”

“Thanks, baby. I’m here for you, too.”

“Thank you to you too.”

Lexa leaned her head against Clarke’s and hummed a bit as the water from the showerhead continued soaking them. Lexa kissed Clarke and the blonde leaned her head forward reciprocating the kiss, making it longer. The blonde brought her hands up to cup the sides of Lexa’s face.

“Mmm.” Lexa sighed out into Clarke’s mouth, closing her eyes.

Clarke gently took Lexa’s bottom lip in between her teeth gently. The brunette kissed Clarke’s cheek, the top of her head, her jawline, and hugged her tight. She  _ loved _ this girl.

“Baby, wanna do something fun tomorrow? A date?”

“Sure, Lex. I’d love to.”

* * *

 

  
  


 

**Late-December, 2022**

  
  


 

“You like it, babe?” Clarke asked pushing her body away from in front of the canvas.

She finally finished her commission. From her spot on the bed, Lexa looked down from the ceiling. Clarke reveled in the proud smile Lexa was giving her. All the time, patience, and effort was worth it. 

“What’s it supposed to be?” Lexa asked.

Thankfully, the artwork was abstract, so she had something to hide the fact that she still couldn’t see properly. She couldn’t see _ her girl’s _ artwork that she worked so hard on, and called her excitedly, and sometimes even nervously about. She looked at Clarke’s blurry face and she just  _ knew  _ there was something wrong with her. 

“It’s a portrait don’t you see? And she’s got wild blue hair, that’s supposed to look like she didn’t take care of it for a while, and some reddish eyeshadow going on here, and her boobs are out.”

Clarke wasn’t exactly describing the work in a, particularly good way. 

“Babygirl, you need to work on your descriptions.” Lexa chuckled in an attempt to hide the fact that she couldn’t see the artwork clearly. 

She wanted to cry.

* * *

 

 

 

**Two Days Later**

 

 

_ “Blue hydrangea, gold cash divine, _

_ Cashmere, cologne, and white sunshine…” _

 

“...She was so proud of it, Luna, and all I could do was just smile at her and tell her it was good when I couldn’t really see it!” Lexa said centimeters away from sobbing. “All I saw was blurriness!”

Lexa cuddled up into the sheets as she began to feel the tears well up in her eyes. The pain was getting to her and she hated that it was. She was able to push it aside for two years, but suddenly now...

“I- I don’t know what to say, Lex.” Luna sighed out from her end of the line.

Luna brought the comforter up to her chin a bit more as the man in bed next to her moved slightly.

 

_ “Those summer nights seem long ago _

_ And so is the girl you used to call _

_ The queen of New York City…” _

 

“I-I think I’m gonna go…” Lexa swallowed some tears. “I’m gonna go get checked out. Not just for her, but for myself.”

_ Clarke deserves me at my best. Not this bullshit. I can do better. I can be better.  _ The brunette sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit hard enough to draw blood to keep from sobbing. If not for herself, she wanted to be better for her girlfriend. For Clarke. 

 

_ “I’ll run to you, I’ll run to you _

_ I’ll run, run, run _

_ I’ll come to you, I’ll come to you _

_ I’ll come, come, come _

_ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh _

_ The power of youth is on my mind…” _

 

“What song are you listening to?” Luna asked quietly breaking the silence. 

Lexa answered, “Old Money by Lana Del Rey.”

“Hey, champ, you’re gonna be fine. Just make the appointment, hang out with Clarke for a bit and--well I dunno what else.”

“I could hang out with Clarke all day. The girl’s seriously mystical.”

“Wait-- are you high? Is this why you’re face timing me at three in the morning?” Luna exclaimed a little too loudly causing Nyko to slightly nudge her, and cuddle close to her.

“Wait-- did you guys just get done fucking?” Lexa’s eyes widened. 

This prompted Luna to give her a nervous look as Nyko kissed up her neck.

“Goodnight!”

“Sleep tight!” 

 

_ “My father’s love was always strong, _

_ My mother’s glamour lives on and on _

_ Yet still, inside I felt alone _

_ For reasons unknown to me….” _

 

_ I’m not  _ **_alone_ ** _ I’ve got Clarke.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be well awaited.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like you guys are intrigued with this one.

 

 

**January, 2023**

  


It was after pushing all excuses aside that Lexa decided to finally schedule a doctor’s appointment. Clarke offered to go with her, but Lexa said it would be fine. That she would meet up with her afterwards and they would talk about it when she swung over with lunch. Lexa opened her eyes when she felt soft lips kiss her own.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Lexa said gently, lifting up her hand to move some blonde waves from her girlfriend’s face.

“Good morning, Lexa-babe,” Clarke said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

Lexa shrugged at this question. She knew that when she would get up to move, the pain would electrocute her legs and she would have to make sure to take some pain reliever before popping into the shower.

“Good.”

“That’s good. I’m going to work, good luck with your appointment, baby. I left you breakfast and coffee.”

“‘Kay, thanks, have a good day at work. Want me to bring you something different to eat?”

“Yeah, sure, ramen with chicken?”

“Of course.” Lexa gave her a kiss.

Clarke was already dressed and ready for work.

“Bye.” Clarke leaned down to kiss her girlfriend again and then got up from the bed.

Lexa slightly rolled over in bed watching Clarke leave the bedroom in a pair of black dress pants, and a nice blouse. _I miss you already._

* * *

 Clarke sat at her desk sketching out ideas Kane had for another building.

“Hey, Clarkie.”

The latina smiled, peeking from the top of her cubicle into Clarke’s.

“Hey, Rae.”

“So, you spent the night at Heda-Hot-Stuff’s house,” Raven said wiggling her brow playfully. “How was it?”

“Rae, shouldn’t you be putting something together?”

“I did, Kane’s evaluating it, so I bought a Lego Simpsons house to put together.”

There was Kane’s voice talking to Raven, and she got down.

“Sorry--”

Clarke chuckled to herself as she focused on her rough draft. She analyzed the lines and the way that it would look in 3D. She checked the clock on her desktop and looked at it. Lexa’s appointment was scheduled for eleven in the morning, and now, it was two minutes past that. Assuming the appointment started on time, she hoped that Lexa was calm, and okay.

 

**Clarke: Good luck baby. Don’t worry everything will be fine.**

 

**💋💋: thnx bb. I’ll see u for lunch**

 

**Clarke: ❤️❤️**

 

**💋💋:❤️❤️**

 

Lexa sat in the exam room awkwardly holding her phone in her lap. She nervously exhaled.

She was going to finally get checked out.

“Lexa Woods, nice to meet you!” The doctor’s booming voice interrupted the silence of the room.

“Nice to meet you too, Doctor.”

“So I see some _interesting_ symptoms here on my chart. Mind telling me about them before I examine you?”

“Sure.”

The doctor jotted down Lexa’s symptoms on his chart. Afterwards, he looked up at Lexa and noticed the pain and exhaustion in emerald eyes.

“Lexa, how long have you been experiencing all of this?”

“Two years, I think.”

“Wow, that’s a while. Unfortunately, I cannot make a diagnosis with just this. I’ll have the front desk make you an appointment with our lab down the street. And we can have your blood checked, and maybe do some scans. That might give a clearer answer.”

“Okay,” Lexa said quietly.

“Also, I’m going to examine your legs if you don’t mind. That seems to be the main area of pain, alright?”

Lexa nodded.

* * *

 

 

 

**February, 2023**

 

 

First, Lexa couldn’t walk straight, and now she couldn’t think right. The two words being explained to her were relieving to hear, rather, hard to comprehend she had this.

“I understand that this may be conflicting and confusing to take in.”

“How long do I have?”

“Typically, patients live seven years younger than everyone else.”

Lexa just sat there looking at her lap. She didn’t wanna leave Clarke behind like that. She loved Clarke so much, she wanted to grow old with her. From her perspective, she had been dealing with this for the past two years with ibuprofen or over the counter pain relief medication.

“Yeah, it is. Um… so, what do I do now?” Lexa asked quietly swallowing back some tears.

“Well, I’m going to prescribe you some medication, and I suggest you to maybe try some therapy. Right now, you could use the support of a cane….”

Lexa zoned out.

* * *

 

The brunette practically ran as fast as she could out of the doctor’s office after giving him a half-assed smile. She sat in her car and cried. _Get it together, Lexa._ A hand reached out to the dashboard of the car to turn on some loud rock music. She picked up some McDonalds to take Clarke for lunch.

She didn’t care when the guy in the car next to her recognized her. The only thing she focused on was getting to Clarke and letting those blue eyes let her forget about it. Lexa walked into the building swiftly, looking for her girlfriend’s cubicle. She walked in and saw Clarke looking at her sketches on her desk, measuring the lines with a ruler, and then leaning back. She turned and saw Lexa.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey.”

Lexa wiped her tears in the elevator. Lexa walked into the cubicle and leaned down to kiss Clarke.

“How did your appointment go?” Clarke asked stroking the side of Lexa’s cheek.

“I dunno, Clarke.” The brunette dodged.

“What did the doctor say?”

“Some big word. I’m just-- I dunno. I got an answer, I should be happy, right?”

“I-- Hey, baby, look at me.” Clarke cupped Lexa’s face and kissed her again. “You’re still here. You’re gonna be okay. You have me.”

The brunette didn’t have any more tears left to cry. (No pun intended). She looked into Clarke’s eyes and she knew she would get through this. She still had Clarke, and that was all that mattered. She nodded and kissed Clarke.

“You hungry, baby?” Lexa asked shrugging off the urge to cry.

Clarke nodded, “Sit on my lap?”

“Yeah, sweetheart.”

Lexa sat on the blonde’s legs, and Clarke wrapped an arm around her back and kissed the brunette again. After reaching for the brown bag, Lexa set it on her lap and the two ate with some gentle music in the background. Lexa just wanted to wake up the next morning to just her and Clarke, and her healthy enough to function without pain relievers.

* * *

 

  


**Mid-February, 2023**

  


She hated this feeling. Lexa ignored the fact that every time she moved a limb, it felt like she had rust in between her joints, and no matter how much she moved them or flexed them, the feeling was still there. Oh, and don’t even get her started on her back.

Lexa was taking her prescription daily as ordered.

However, Lexa felt something _eerily_ off with herself.

“Hey you, what’re you doing?”

Clarke walked in on Lexa leaning against the wall with one hand, kicking her leg back and forth with a furrow in her brow. Hearing her girlfriend’s voice, she flinched a bit. At least she didn’t get caught doing something else.

“Nothing.” Lexa slightly chuckled, seeing Clarke’s puzzled expression.

“Is it hurting?”

“No.”

“Can you walk on it?”

“Somewhat.”

“Are you gonna use a cane like your doctor suggested you to?”

“No, _dadd_ _y_.”

“Is that a kink, baby?”

“I--”

Lexa broke into laughter and then Clarke realized that she played right into it.

“ _Anyways,_ ” Clarke let out an extra chuckle. “I’m done doing sketches for work. What do you wanna do? You’ve got me for the rest of the day, babe.”

“Um, we could buy a ton of food, and eat til’ we’re sick, maybe have sex, you know, but only if you want to, too.”

Clarke smiled when she saw Lexa blush mentioning the latter. Lexa did want to do this with Clarke she really did. The smile on her lover’s face was slightly unsettling and she couldn’t tell if Clarke thought it was funny, or if she was--

“Of course, baby.” Clarke kissed the brunette. “What do you wanna eat?”

“Any and everything.”

“Okay.”

* * *

 Two five topping pizzas, pickles, slushies, chocolate ice cream sandwiches, random lettuce leaves, orange Fanta, salami, sushi, and a movie marathon later… Clarke held Lexa’s hair back as she threw up into the toilet bowl.

“You shouldn’t have gone with the slushy on the pizza,” Clarke said.

“It was good.” Lexa was so tempted to make another _mommy_ joke, but that was interrupted with her blowing chunks into the toilet.

Clarke shook her head. Although, she had to admit the combinations were good.

“Want me to get you some medicine?”

“No, I’m just gonna puke it out.”

“You sure?” Clarke had a feeling it would take two hours to be completely done with puking.

At least, with all they ate.

“Mmmhmm.”

“Lexa?”

“Yes?”

“I enjoyed today.”

The brunette rested her back against the cold tile of the bathroom wall next to Clarke.

“Really?”

“Yup.”

Clarke kissed the top of her head. She wiped some sweat from Lexa’s forehead, too. Emerald eyes looked back at her with a smile. _I love you, thanks for being here with me._ She rubbed her lower back and arched, cringing at the tightening in her muscles. The blonde steadied her, and rubbed her thigh, calming her.  

“Clarke?”

“Yeah?”

“Even the part when I almost died of food poisoning?” Lexa asked chuckling a bit. “That’s gay, babe.”

Clarke laughed and nodded, “Yeah, I’m gay for you.”

Lexa threw her head over the toilet and puked some more.

“I can’t vomit anymore like I literally feel empty.”

Clarke rubbed her back, “C’mere, it’s okay. I’ll get you some more water.”

The brunette nodded as Clarke went back to the kitchen to get water from the fridge. Lexa huffed and cringed at the taste of all the food residue in her mouth.

“Tastes like I’m rotting,” Lexa commented.

After she felt better, Lexa brushed her teeth before she kissed Clarke again that night.

* * *

 

  


**March, 2014**

  


_“Ew, I smell ghosts,” Gaia commented._

_Luna broke into high pitched laughter while Anya bumped her hip to try to get her to stop. They already looked sketchy walking into a funeral home from an alleyway. Roan and Lincoln walked behind the girls, only tagging along because they wanted to go to the town cemetery to see ghosts. Lexa opened the door for them. No one was at the front desk._

_Catching sight of one of the display coffins, Lexa looked back at her friends with a grin._

_“You finna die, girl?” Gaia joked._

_“Wanna take pictures in here?”_

_Anya, Lexa, Gaia, and Luna looked into the coffin and analyzed it. Lexa put her hand on the cushion, and pushed it down, feeling it squish._

_“Me first!” Lexa exclaimed._

_The girl wasted no time in climbing in and wiggling to make herself comfortable. She made an_ **_ooh_ ** _. She looked up at her friends and snuggled into the satin some more._

_“There’s not a ghost in there, is it?” Gaia asked._

_“No, but it’s warm. What kind of sheets are these?”_

_Luna took out the camera she had with her and snapped a photo._

_“What is this?” One of the employees saw the scene and just froze._

_“Oh shit! C’mon get out!”_

_Lexa jumped out and ran._

_“It’s not my time yet. We can get pictures taken when it is.” Lexa said running down the street._

_“Here’s a souvenir.” Luna handed the developed photo when she caught it._

_Lexa laughed at how comfortable she looked in the picture and it scared her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal was to maybe have Lexa have a condition like MS. I mean no offense if I may have gotten some facts wrong. All of my love and support goes to anyone suffering from the condition. You guys are strong. See you next update.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: (spoilers) Lexa has a seizure twice in this chapter, so if that is something you don't want to read, I'll put three stars (***) before and after those sections so you know where they are.

  
  


**April, 2023**

  
  


The whole morning, Lexa was bending and straightening out her limbs. 

“You good, baby?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lexa laid back down and turned to face Clarke. 

“You’re so cute.”

“Stop making me blush! This is a form of bullying.”

Clarke only laughed more. The morning was spent with the two of them showering together. Planned for the day, was a trip to the park. For Lexa to have some more inspiration for writing, and for Clarke to have a reference for a painting, while the two of them had fresh air. Lexa wasn’t particularly writing a song, rather just writing. 

She couldn’t help but look up at her girlfriend as the girl carefully tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and continued painting the New York scenery with watercolor.

“Sweetheart, can I write you something?”

“Yeah, baby, that’s sweet,” Clarke said looking up from her canvas. “I can give you this painting.”

“You’re not selling it?”

“Nah, this is just something random to paint. To get out of the house.”

“Oh, okay.” Lexa gave her girlfriend another kiss.

Lexa leaned on Clarke’s shoulder as she wrote. The blonde welcomed the action. She kissed the brunette’s head.  _ I love you so much.  _ She gave the paper another line of blue paint.

Lexa was at a lost for words when it came to her blonde. Cliches didn’t seem to be fitting. Next, to her, Clarke was faced with the same dilemma. She didn’t want to give her girl some half-assed piece of artwork. The girls stayed there for an hour or so.

Lexa spun her pen in between her fingers and then fell back trying to think of the right words. Clarke just continued concentrating hard on the colours. Eventually, Clarke ripped the paper off of her sketchpad and looked back at Lexa. She painted Lexa with abstract colours. Words formed in Lexa’s head, and she quickly jotted it down. 

Clarke finished and set her open sketchbook out to dry. 

“Can I put my legs on your lap?” Lexa asked. 

“Sure, baby girl.”

Lexa adjusted herself and set her stiff legs on her girlfriend’s lap. Clarke rubbed Lexa’s legs a bit. She looked at her girl and couldn’t help but feel curious. The way Lexa furrowed her brows, made Clarke smile at how cute it was. 

“Can I read this to you?” Lexa asked.

“Sure, babe.”

“Forgive me if it sucks.”

“Lexa, it’s fine. You do amazing things.”

“Okay, but it’s not done.”

Lexa obnoxiously cleared her throat causing a giggle from her girl. Clarke smiled so hard and she didn't realize that she was so close to crying. Lexa caressed the side of Clarke’s face and smiled before finishing. 

“I love it, Lex.”

“You’re welcome.” She leaned in and kissed her girlfriend.

She sat up and hugged Clarke tight. 

“Wanna go to a coffee shop? Whatever you want is on me.”

“Okay, baby.”

Clarke helped Lexa up. The two had a ball at a nearby Starbucks. To any other person in the cafe, it was evident that the two were complete lovebirds. Clarke ran her fingers through Lexa’s long brown hair. This caused the brunette to smile. 

“How’s work?”

“Kane is making us stay after for a bit longer. I mean, I understand for the engineers, but I don’t get why I have to.”

“Until what time?”

“Almost midnight.”

“What?!”

Clarke wasn’t pleased either. At midnight, she wanted to be in bed with Lexa for the night, or at home. Not walking in. And being late to dinner?  _ No thank you. _

But this was her job, and if she had to do it, she was going to. It’s what she signed up for when she filled out her application. 

“Hey, we can work out a schedule. How long will this be on for?”

“It depends. I hope that no more than a week. Any longer is just plain mediocrity.”

Lexa nodded. She tried her best to assure Clarke that she would be fine.

“Promise?”

“I promise. I’ll try to get some writing done, or invite a friend over, or go to my parent’s. I’ll still bring you lunch, though.”

Clarke gave her hands a small squeeze.  _ We’ll work it out, and it’ll be okay. _

 

 

**The Following Week**

 

 

The gentle kiss didn’t wake her up, but when she stirred and was met with the cold side of the bed, Lexa sighed and woke up.  _ She’s gone. _

  
  


**Clarke: Good morning bb. I’m gonna miss you all day. I left you some breakfast and a fresh brew to heat for you. See you @ lunch break.**

  
  


Lexa smiled at the text. The routine in their house was pretty easy to follow.  _ Get up, eat, take medicine, shower, exist, go have lunch with Clarke, come back home, exist some more, make dinner, eat with Clarke, cuddle and ask about her day, kiss some more, change, go to bed, repeat. _

 

**Lex: thnx babe. I’ll miss you too, but we get to see each other for lunch. Have a great day, and have fun.**

 

Lexa got up from the bed already feeling slight pain, but since she was taking her medication, it wasn’t as crippling as before. Holding onto a surface, Lexa slowly arrived to the kitchen. She ate the eggs and pancakes Clarke left her, including coffee. Not having Clarke with her some mornings was simply routine, but knowing that the blonde wouldn’t return until basically the next day left Lexa wondering about how she would deal with the loneliness. That was why she decided to spend half the day at her parents’, and then she’d buy groceries, and play some music until her body would deem it a good time to settle down for the night. 

When she turned her head, she was met with several pictures of her and Clarke in a photo booth at coney island. Seeing Clarke’s smiling face just made her smile unconsciously. Lexa put her plate and mug in the dishwasher before setting off to their room to pick out clothes. For the day, she decided to go for a dark green shirt, some of her black jeans, and some random pair of shoes that she knew didn’t match,  _ but whatever _ . She took her medicine minutes ago, so as she let that sit in, she undressed and stepped into the shower. 

The water was lukewarm, just like she liked it. She sighed into it, standing for a bit before moving to lather her body with the vanilla body wash. As usual, she let her Spotify playlist play her all-time favourites as she cleaned up. Her shower concluded after she rinsed out her hair, and wiped some water away from her face. The brunette stumbled a bit as she stepped out, wrapping herself in a towel. 

She held onto the sink, to ensure that she wouldn’t fall. She pretty much shuffled to the bedroom and sat on the bed, putting on her underwear, and then a sports bra.

 

_ “I know (I know) you belong _

_ To somebody new _

_ But tonight _

_ You belong to me _ _....” _

 

(Lexa was anything but active the past two years, but she wanted a break from lacey bras).

 

*** * ***

 

The last thing Lexa could consciously process was falling forward off the bed and onto the floor. She tensed up and trembled. 

 

_ “ _ _ Although (although) we're apart _

_ You are a part of my heart _

_ But tonight _

_ You belong to me…” _

 

_ What the fuck is happening to me? _

Foam made its way out of her mouth. Lexa looked around and tried to reach for something, but she found it hard. A sob came out more like a choke/gurgle.

 

_ “ _ _ Wait down by the stream _

_ How sweet it will seem _

_ Once more just to dream in _

_ The moonlight _

_ My honey I know _

_ With the dawn _

_ That you will be gone _

_ But tonight _

_ You belong  _ to me…”

 

All Lexa could do, was just get through this. 

 

At that moment, was the picture of Clarke on her home screen. The device had fallen when she had. She focused on the blonde’s smiling face. Her vision zoomed in on it, and then out. Much more slowly over time, until it stabilized back to its blurry state.

Once she was able to gain control after nearly a minute, she spat the foam out, and took a huge gasp of air. 

 

_ “ _ _ But tonight _

_ You belong _

_ To me…” _

 

 

*** * ***

 

She curled up on the floor, and shivered, too scared to stand up, and collapse again.  _ Just get up. Please get up. You promised mom you would swing over! _ Lexa worked up the courage to finally get up and finish getting dressed. 

Never in her life had Lexa been so afraid of listening to an old school song in her life. She was never going to listen to that song in particular anymore.

* * *

 

When the new puppy jumped at her feet, Lexa slightly jumped, trying to make sure that she didn’t accidentally step on him with the cane. Clarke wasn’t around to hold her hand for stability, and after convulsing that morning, Lexa couldn’t trust herself. She used the cane sometimes, but not all the times. This was just one of those times.

“Hey, mom, who’s this?” 

“Paul. I didn’t choose that, Madi and your father did.” Anastasia chuckled, trying to get the cream cocker spaniel puppy to stop scratching Lexa’s legs. “Come inside, honey.”

Lexa nodded and stiffly moved into the home, “He’s pretty cute.”

“Yeah.”

On the coffee table in the center of the couches, was a picture of Pauna. The family dog passed away from old age. Lexa had been there, petting the German Shepherd. A few months later, came Paul, the second gay Woods’ family member. Down to the bandana collar Anastasia put on him. 

“How have you been?”

“Good.”

“And Clarke?”

“She’s beautiful and just the best girlfriend.” Lexa smiled at the thought of her girlfriend. 

She would see her for lunch in a few hours. It was only nine in the morning. (Yes, she woke up so early). 

“Come on, breakfast.” Anastasia insisted, moving towards the kitchen, Paul following behind, fluffing his butt out as if he were really something.

_ That dog is definitely gay. _

“No, no, no, I had breakfast already, mom.” Lexa insisted.

Paul ran back in her direction.

“So where’s Papa?”

“In his office. You could peek in if you’d like. He’s asked about you.”

Lexa nodded, “I’ll be back.”

The brunette went upstairs and greeted her father. 

“Your favourite daughter is here,” Lexa announced chucking to herself. 

“Oh hello, honey, you’ve…” Alexander had really only seen his daughter on facetime, he knew about her diagnosis. 

Seeing her in person since then was another thing.

“I thought your mother and I would be the ones with canes before you.” 

Lexa couldn’t help the laugh.

* * *

 

“Baby!” Lexa squealed, stiffly making her way off the couch, going to the doorway to greet Clarke.

She got the timing right after two days of going through this new schedule. Clarke welcomed the brunette into her arms and nuzzled her face in the crook of the brunette’s neck.

“How was work?” Lexa asked, moving a strand of out of place blonde hair behind Clarke’s ear.

“Tiring.”

The brunette cupped her girlfriend’s face, and gave her a kiss, causing Clarke to smile. She had come home to the most perfect girl ever. 

“You energized enough for dinner?”

Clarke nodded, “--But wait!”

“What?” Lexa furrowed her brow, put an arm around Lexa’s waist, and brought her into a warm kiss.

The blonde couldn’t help but hum into the feeling of her girl’s lips. 

“I missed you.”

“I did too, babe. So much.”

Lexa clung to Clarke comedically, until the blonde waddled them over to the kitchen. Lexa ate late-night dinner with her girlfriend. The whole time, Clarke was glad to just be home with Lexa after a hectic, busy day at work. The giant smile on Lexa’s face was doing wonders to her mood. 

“You’re so fucking cute.” Clarke cupped one side of the girl’s face. 

Lexa leaned into the touch. 

“So are you.”

Lexa booped Clarke’s nose causing a laugh. She gave her a chaste kiss. They went to bed that night. Lexa held Clarke close that night knowing that the blonde would be gone in a few hours.

She stood up, watching in awe as her lover slept so peacefully. 

Sleep pulled her eyes closed before she knew it. She felt so lucky to know this girl. Clarke felt so glad that she had finally found someone who really tugged on her feelings, mouth, and heartstrings. She loved Lexa because Lexa was sweet, caring, a strong, yet delicate woman, and she was just the best overall. Every moment she spent with the girl reiterated that feeling. 

Clarke snuggled into Lexa’s warm chest and sighed at the warmth, and the nice fall scent of her girlfriend. Long arms snuggled the blonde closer. Lexa felt the urge to pee. She pulled out of bed and carefully trudged to the bathroom. After relieving her bladder, and moving to wash her hands, Lexa yawned, feeling her face sag, and the necessity to back to sleep.

 

*** * ***

 

She felt herself almost sink into the stream of water. Clarke awoke to a thud, and light knocks. She sat up in bed furrowing her brow at the sound. 

“Lexa?”

She saw the light in the bathroom on. 

“Lexa, where are you?” She got out of bed, rubbing her eyes. 

She walked and when she saw Lexa convulsing on the floor. There was no time for her to react. From what little she saw in movies, and her mother, Clarke turned Lexa onto her side. Clarke herself was trembling nervously.  _ Is she gonna be okay?  _

She looked up at the clock in the bathroom.  _ Please, Lex, pull through. My car keys! Where are my keys?!  _ Clarke looked around. 

Lexa continued seizing. Green eyes rolled to the back of her head, and her mouth slightly opened wider, causing more foam to seep out. Clarke stayed there. She didn’t know what else to do other than go to the hospital afterward. She just wanted Lexa to be okay.

She didn’t want to lose her. This girl was special to her. The thought of waking up one morning without her was something unimaginable.

 

*** * ***

 

Two minutes, and it was over. 

“Lex?”

The brunette coughed out be extra foam pooled in the entrance of her mouth. 

“Lexa, I’m taking you to the hospital.” Clarke put an arm under Lexa’s neck, and the other under her knees, and easily lifted her up. “You scared me, babe.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re fine,” Clarke said. “Try to stay awake. I’m here.” 

The blonde quickly moved to her car, unlocked the door, helped Lexa in the passenger seat, and sat in the driver’s seat herself to go to the hospital. Lexa took Clarke’s hand and squeezed it. She felt woozy again, and she didn’t want anymore seizing to return. 

“You’re okay, I’m here.”

Lexa was so close to tears. She was really caught off guard.  _ How did it happen again I-- _ A choked in sob passed her lips.

“Shh, you’re okay, babe. I’m taking you to Mt. Weather general. It’s closest!”

Lexa nodded, biting her bottom lip to hold back another threatening sob.

* * *

 

Clarke didn’t sleep since Lexa was admitted. She didn’t move from her girlfriend’s side. The whole time she stayed by Lexa’s side. If she couldn’t be in the room while the performed tests or scans, she stayed outside the door praying that maybe just maybe there was a god by their side. In the morning, Clarke called in and told Kane that she had “family matters”.

“Clarke,” Lexa said quietly. 

Blue eyes looked up from her lap and smiled at the sight of her awake girlfriend. 

“Hey, Lex.”

“I want to fucking cut off my legs, they hurt so much.”

The blonde took her hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “Lex, your doctor said he’s looking for a different type this morning, remember?”

Lexa nodded, “Yeah, but it still hurts so damn much.”

Clarke wasn’t surprised to see that Lexa was holding back the tears. She spent nearly two years dealing with pain, she could handle this, but she didn’t realize how much pain the medication had muted for her. She didn’t miss the pain. She took Clarke’s hand and kissed the back of it. That was it, Clarke knew that she loved this girl already, but she wanted to let her girl know. 

“Lex?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I love you, Lexa. I love you so,  _ so  _ much. I want you to always know that.”

The corners of Lexa’s mouth turned up, “I love you too, baby.”

That was the moment the two said they loved each other, and that was a time neither of them could forget. Clarke leaned in to kiss her. Lexa sunk into the kiss, reveling in the feel of Clarke’s lips against hers. Carefully and gently, Clarke pulled away after a couple of long seconds. Lexa’s stomach loudly grumbled. 

“You hungry?” Clarke asked, moving some wild brown hair out of her face. “I could get you something.”

Lexa had some bland hospital food from breakfast, but no food since.

“Yeah, get yourself something too.” 

Clarke grabbed her wallet and leaned down to place a chaste kiss to the girl’s lips, “Okay. I’ll be back. Don’t run away.”

“Okay, now that was out of pocket.” Lexa chuckled knowing damn well that she didn’t have the strength to move even with her cane. 

“Sorry.”

“You’re fine.”

“Want anything in specific?”

“Not really.” Lexa shrugged. “But some sweet tea is a definite.”

“Okay, I’ll be back.”

Clarke walked out of the hospital, across the street where some restaurants were.

 

**Clarke: babygirl there is a chick-fil-a, mcdonald’s, panda express, whole foods you name it, I’ll get it.**

 

**Lex: panda express seems good**

 

**Clarke: k i’ll be back**

 

**Lex: k thnx**

 

Clarke immediately knew where to direct her next step towards. She was glad that this part of town had more restaurants with non-hamburger-and-fries options on the menu. Quick on her feet, Clarke was in and out of the restaurant ordering what they usually ordered. (Clarke forgot) when she got to the hospital that Abby still worked there. Caught off guard, the blonde nearly ran into her mother.

“Sorry, I--”

The blonde stuttered. This was her mother  _ sober _ . A part of her was excited and was tempted to jump into Abby’s arms. Abby was definitely sober. She wasn’t dodging eye contact (mostly), she wasn’t shivering, she wasn’t sweaty, she just looked visually better overall. Clarke couldn’t help but notice it. 

“Um, hi.” Clarke was first to speak up. 

“Hello,” Abby gulped. “Clarke.”

Clarke didn’t know what to do. --What to say. For a second, Clarke blanked out and just stared. 

“How are you?” (Clarke once again). 

Abby gulped for the third time, “Good. You?”

_ Oh my god, we’re not yelling! _

“Alright,” Clarke answered dryly.

She was  _ really  _ caught off guard.

“Why are you here, may I ask?” Abby was curious. 

_ Should I tell her about Lexa? I-- What will she think?  _ Clarke figured something out quickly.

“My  _ boyfriend  _ she--  _ he  _ is here, and I’m staying with him.”

“What for?”

Clarke didn’t know if it was in her place to elaborate. 

“He’s…  _ sick _ .”

“I’m sorry, honey if there’s anything I can help with, call me.”

Yep, this was  _ sober Abby,  _ alright. Clarke nodded, however a (more than half) part of her was astonished because Abby seemed to have forgotten being  _ non-sober _ .

“Also, Clarke,” Abby paused and gulped a  _ sixth _ time. “I’m sorry about everything, for allowing the drugs to make me push you and your father away. I didn’t mean for this to happen when I meant I wanted an escape.”

_ This is not the time or place to cry, Clarke.  _

“Look, Abby, it’s going to take time for me to forgive you completely. Maybe years, because I spent two years thinking  _ maybe it was something I had done wrong on my part.  _ If I have to be brutally honest, I don’t trust you as much.”

By then, they moved their conversation close to the wall so they wouldn’t be in the middle of the hallway. 

“I know, Clarke, and I’m sorry.”

There was an uncomfortable silence. 

“I’m gonna go, I can’t let the food get colder. Bye, Abby.” _ Don’t be a stranger. _

“Bye, Clarke.”

From there, it felt like Clarke had run to Lexa’s room. If she had to be honest to herself, she hated just about every second of that moment. 

“I have arrived with our meal,” Clarke said with as much happiness, which wasn’t hard when she saw her sleeping girlfriend. 

Quietly, Clarke set the food on the table next to the sink. She went over to the bed where Lexa was curled up. With her index and middle finger, Clarke stroked the side of Lexa’s face. 

“Hey, babe, I’m back.” 

Lexa opened her eyes and stretched. The blonde leaned down to kiss full fluffy lips. 

“Hey.” Lexa sat up and saw Clarke’s expression. “You alright?”   
Clarke shrugged, “Nothing big.”

“ _ That  _ bad?” Lexa asked sitting up and adjusting herself. 

She spent nearly all day laying down. 

“You sure you’re okay to do that?” Clarke asked quickly coming to her side.

“Yes, babe. I’m fine. I’m in pain, but I’m fine.” Lexa tried her best to scoot off the bed. “I wanna sit there and eat with you. The city looks nice. Why not see it?” 

Clarke nodded. Lexa grabbed her cane and stiffly walked over to the little window-side ledge of the hospital room. She insisted on feeding Clarke and the blonde fed her too. Lexa swallowed, as she looked out the window.

“I wanna go home soon.”

“Me too.” Clarke chewed.

“So, what have you been thinking about lately?”

Lexa could tell that there was something up with Clarke. The mood lightened when Lexa kissed Clarke, taking a strand of pasta for herself.

Clarke chuckled, “ _ Hey,” _

The brunette chuckled and kissed Clarke again. 

“I-- I saw Abby on my way back.”

“Did it go well?” Lexa asked pausing, feeding Clarke more chow mein. 

“I don’t know, Lex, it was awkward. She was sober, I saw the old Abby, but it’s not the same. Not after all she did and said to me.”

Lexa put her hand under Clarke’s chin and lifted her head. 

“Give her time, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded, “But what do I do now?”

Lexa looked into blue eyes. She gave Clarke a  _ You-done-eating?-l _ ook. To which the blonde nodded. Lexa set the styrofoam boxes on a nearby table and engulfed Clarke in a hug.

“Watch for my legs,” Lexa warned.

Clarke nodded. She cuddled with Lexa and allowed the brunette to hold her.

“Maybe one day, you and your mom will be close to normal again. Don’t worry. These things take time.” Lexa whispered against her lips. 

“Thanks, Lex, I needed that.” 

“You’re welcome.”

Lexa kissed Clarke again and held her close.

* * *

 

The two were able to go home after Lexa tried a new medication that didn’t cause her to seize and it was the best feeling ever, next to kissing each other. They could move on with their lives. In fact, Lexa was better than ever. Clarke entered the house to see Lexa slow jogging around the house, stiffly, practically zooming, a small cocker spaniel following her lead. 

“Lexa?”

“What?” Lexa stopped laughing as Paul jumped and scratched her leg.

She leaned on her cane, moving a strand of hair from her face. 

“My mom dropped Paul off for a bit.”

“ _ Paul _ ?”

“My thoughts exactly, but he’s been giving me good exercise.” Lexa patted the dog’s head.

“Who’s is it?”

“My mom’s. --Well my parents’.”

“He’s cute.”

Paul jumped over to Clarke and yapped. The blonde pet his silky fur and smiled. 

“Can we get a pig?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely changed the ending of the chapter giant OOF.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a bit longer than usual for this update.

  


**June, 2023**

  


Bringing one foot in front of the other and then in the back. Lexa fell against the wall but caught herself laughing.

“Lexa what are you doing?”

“Karaoke.”

Clarke and Titus chuckled at the way Lexa was laughing at herself for having two stiff left feet.

“Here, babe, let me help you.” Clarke went over to her and steadied her.

“Thanks.”

Titus was actually fond of Clarke when he met her. It was about time that Lexa found someone in his opinion. Clarke stroked the side of Lexa’s face and kissed her. Lexa chuckled. She felt happy to be able to bring Clarke to Texas with her.

She wasn‘t performing a _show_ , but she along with several other artists were invited to play a few of their own songs for a queer event. Lexa didn’t hesitate to perform something. So she got her Winnebago, Titus and Clarke, her blessed guitar and within a day they made it from New York to Texas.

Taking Titus wasn’t so necessary, but she wanted to treat him to a trip.

Lexa took the opportunity to buy some flannel too. Clarke thought it was a bit excessive to buy flannels in just about any and every colour of the rainbow, but that was Lexa. The brunette also got Clarke a cute top.

“I’m on stage in a bit and I’m nervous,” Lexa said.

“Why are you nervous, babe?”

Lexa shrugged, “It’s the first time I’m performing since I’ve been diagnosed. What if--“

“Hey, hey, hey, Lex. They’ll love you. If your condition changes the way they see you, fuck them.” Clarke cupped Lexa’s face and assured her. “Don’t worry, okay?”

Lexa nodded. She hugged Clarke and struggled to lift her legs up to be carried. The blonde could tell and helped gently pull both of Lexa’s legs up.

“I love it when you let me pick you up, babe.” Clarke kissed Lexa.

“I like it too, but my legs needed a break too, to be honest.”

“That’s fine.”

The two were too distracted to notice that Titus left the Winnebago.

“Do you think my outfit looks okay?” Lexa asked bumping their noses gently.

Clarke looked down.

The brunette shook her head, “No the one for later, babe. Down, please?”

Arms loosened around Lexa’s waist. Long, slightly tanned hands took Clarke’s and they walked to the back of the RV where their big bed was. On the bed, Lexa laid out the pants and shirt she was changing into. The pants she chose were some men's jeans of course. It took so long for Lexa to find a pair not too baggy, yet not too tight.

She slightly regretted taking Clarke with her while she tried them out because she insisted ‘go smaller, baby’. Her shirt of choice was tie-dyed with all the colours of the rainbow, seemingly fit for the theme of the event, with **_babe_ ** in old school bubble-letters.

“It’s cute.”

“Thanks, you’re wearing your bi-pride shirt, right?”

Clarke nodded, “Can I hold you again now?”

Lexa chuckled and nodded, trying to jump into Clarke’s arms, but only being able to get two inches (at most) off the floor.

* * *

“I like this,” Lexa said into Clarke’s ear as they looked for where backstage was.

Lexa was ‘on watch’ for any sign or indication towards their destination.

“Me too. You feel lighter when I pick you up like this. Plus this is fun.” Clarke bounced Lexa.

A giggle passed Lexa’s lips. The arms around Clarke’s neck relaxed and hung over her chest. Brown hair tickled the side of her neck when Lexa rested her head in the crook of her neck. Clarke looked so beautiful at the moment.

“You haven’t lost cane, yet, have you?”

“Nope.”

Since Clarke (did not) like her boss Kane ( _on god_ she hated him), and Lexa so coincidentally hated having to use her cane, it was deemed appropriate to name it. Call a spade a spade, and call Kane-- _Cane_.

“You know, Clarke, we are a pretty damn good power couple. Next to those two guys over there.” Lexa discreetly pointed out.

Clarke chuckled and squinted her eyes slightly. She had seen one of those men somewhere. Nothing clicked, so the blonde kept going.

“Lex, have you been here before?”

“No why?”

“I dunno, maybe you have an idea where backstage might be.”

“Usually, it’s where the stage is.” Lexa broke out into sputtering laughter.

Clarke shook her head and laughed. There were people bunching up somewhere. In the same direction, they were all focused, came loud music.

“Bingo,” Lexa said.

“What?”

Lexa brought herself closer to Clarke’s ear, “I said, _bingo_! The stage is probably near.”

She pointed towards the same direction of the flashing lights.

“Hang on tight.”

“Clarke, I--”

Next thing they knew, Clarke sped up her pace. Lexa tried to look up, but couldn’t see much. A handful of the people in the audience noticed Lexa. Despite how many noticed, out of respect they didn’t crowd her. When the couple finally got backstage, their focus was back on the artist currently performing.

“Oh thank god, Titus got my guitar here in time.”

“Did you think I was missing this performance, Alexandria?” Titus asked, appearing from the drink stand with two cokes in hand, and water for Lexa.

The brunette got down from Clarke’s back and kissed her cheek. Then, she turned to carefully crouch down to her case and opening it, allowing her fingers to graze the body of the instrument carefully. Madi called this guitar: _Lexa’s-Personal-Katana_.

“No, but I knew you would get to the diet coke no matter where we are,” Lexa said grabbing her guitar and sitting down to tune it.

“Do you drink Coca-Cola?” Titus asked Clarke, offering the regular coke to her.

Clarke nodded, “Thank you.”

The blonde looked over his shirt which had the illustration of a globe and **Love Is Love** in rainbow colours on it.

“I love your shirt.”

“Thank you, I like yours too. Bisexual flag?”

Clarke nodded. Lexa was grateful that Titus was open-minded and unprejudiced. During her first year in the industry, the man had looked out for her so much. Anytime a guy or girl tried to throw themselves at Lexa, he helped the girl get over them. He didn’t want her getting hurt.

However, when Clarke came along, he knew there was something different. There was true love between her and Lexa. He knew they were meant to be. Clarke popped open the coke can and took a sip.

“I love seeing how happy she gets,” Clarke said.

She recalled the many times she was home and Lexa would be playing music with headphones plugged into her amp. Those were the times when Lexa truly looked like she was in her own little happy place, and Clarke knew not to disturb her.

“Me too, when she was younger, she used to be a bit more nervous about performing. I think it was the number of people that had her overwhelmed. But now she seems to be used to it.”

“Yeah. In the Winn, she told me that she was nervous about what they would think about her after everything that’s happened in the last few months. I told her not to worry.”

Titus had a faint smile on his face. These two were definitely perfect for each other.

“I think that did the trick.”

“I see you two are becoming friends,” Lexa said looking up at her girlfriend and Titus who were talking to each other quietly.

The two exchanged looks. Lexa snickered.

“Hey!”

“C’mere, Clarke.”

The brunette lifted her head up and puckered her lips, which then morphed into a smile mid-kiss with Clarke.

“Titus, I love this girl,” Lexa said giving Clarke another chaste kiss.

Clarke smiled, “I love her too.”

“I’m glad you both do.” He just so happened to check his phone for the time. “Lexa, it’s almost time.”

The brunette tried her best to stand up quickly.

“Hold on, let me help you up.” Clarke offered.

The brunette took Clarke’s hand and slowly stood up.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be here rooting for you.”

Lexa’s face was still a bit flushed with nerves. Lexa Woods was never this nervous. _Heda_ was _never this nervous_. Lexa nodded, blowing her breath out her mouth, and inhaling through her nose. Eventually, the only colour on her face was her original skin tone.

“Walk with me there?”

Clarke nodded, “Of course.”

Lexa smiled and took Clarke’s hand.

“The last song is for you, Clarke.” Lexa insisted.

Slowly but surely, Lexa became more comfortable.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm, why do you think I stopped practicing when you got home? I wanted to surprise you.”

Clarke smiled, “Thank you, I love you.”

“Love you too, Clarke.”

Clarke looked into Lexa’s emerald green eyes and melted into them for a moment. She loved this girl since she got to know her personally. Whenever she saw Lexa so stressed like this, she wanted to protect her from the world, and hold her, and whisper that everything was okay-- that she’d be there for her until she felt 100% better. Clarke leaned in and pressed a kiss to Lexa’s lips. One moment led to the other, and Lexa was ushered on stage slowly.

Looking back at Clarke, Lexa managed to blow her a kiss. It felt like the scene was occurring in slow-motion. Clarke stayed in the wings of the stage. She didn’t realize Titus standing next to her sipping on his diet coke. Clarke watched Lexa in awe picking up every word her voice enunciated. Clarke could see that Lexa had let all of her anxiety go somewhere on her way to the microphone.

Then came the last song Lexa was singing. The brunette looked at her, winking with that charming smile that would cause Clarke a smile too.

“Clarke, are you crying?” Titus asked.

A part of him wanted to chuckle. The girls were absolutely in love no doubt in his mind.

“N-- No!” The blonde moved to wipe her tears. “But-- but-- _this_ , I love her so much. She’s seriously so kind and a sweet girlfriend.”

Titus patted her shoulder. _Yep, these girls are about as in love as they come._

 

 _“Hold me close and hold me fast_ _  
_ _This magic spell you cast_   
This is la vie en rose”

 

Clarke’s mouth turned into a smile as she heard the lyrics. Lexa’s eyes never lost contact with her as she serenaded her girlfriend. Clarke couldn’t stop the happy tears falling out of her eyes. She loved the girl so much. Her heart could explode from all the love she had for her.

On stage, Lexa was no longer embarrassed or careful about how she appeared. She was doing what she loved most, and she wanted to focus on that. She was doing what she loved while looking at the person she looked at. Lexa wanted to go over to Clarke and hug her tight while singing this to her. Maybe she would do this later.

 

 _“When you kiss me heaven sighs_ _  
_ _And though I close my eyes_   
I see la vie en rose”

 

It was as if Lexa paid attention to one of Clarke’s favourite classic songs. When she came up with the list of songs, she knew without a doubt that she wanted to sing one to Clarke. The girl was a special person in her life.

 

 _“When you press me to your heart_ _  
_ _I'm in a world apart_ _  
_ _A world where roses bloom_ _  
_ _And when you speak_ _  
_ _Angels sing from above_   
Everyday words seem…”

 

When Lexa was done, she “ran” her best back to Clarke, and dove into her arms.

“That was beautiful, I told you it wasn’t that bad.” Clarke kissed her cheek.

“I love you, Clarke.”

“I love you, Lex. Wanna go see if we can snag some of those frozen lemonade drinks?”

The brunette nodded and gave Clarke a kiss.

“Okay, but I wanna get my guitar in the RV, ‘kay?”

Clarke nodded, taking Lexa’s hand. Their day was filled with walking around the event (Lexa was on Clarke’s back the whole time) together. Eventually, they got a bit tired of walking around.

“Clarke,”

They were looking for the exit. The sun had set about an hour ago, and the only light source there was, were the lamp posts, or carnival lights if they were even called that.

“Yes?”

“What was it like when you came out?” Lexa had never asked Clarke that question.

She didn’t know if she asked the right thing or not, because Clarke didn’t respond within the first ten seconds. It wasn’t a bad experience for Clarke, it wasn’t good per se either.

“Um, I told my friends first, they were okay with it, and took the opportunity to try to hook me up with just about every girl, and one or two boys.”

Lexa found this a bit ironic.

“And when I told my parents, my dad said that he ‘could tell’ he told me that he loved me and that he supported me. And my mom just looked confused but not upset. She was pretty much cranked up on _you know what_. I’m probably gonna have to come out to her when she’s sober for sure.” Clarke answered.

Lexa squeezed her arms around her slightly tighter.

“What about you?”

“My parents accepted me.”

Clarke’s hand was under Lexa’s butt to hold her up, so she slightly pinched her. Lexa laughed.

“I’m getting you back.”

“I’m here for it.”

“Laughing my ass off.”

“Clarke, it’s still attached…” Lexa said blankly.

They made it to the parking lot. Lexa got off of Clarke’s back by then and used her cane for support. She caught sight of her vehicle.

“There, sweetheart.”

She led Clarke towards it excitedly. It was almost as if Lexa was dragging Clarke. The blonde wasn’t bothered by it, instead, she giggled. She took her key and unlocked the door. When she turned the knob, it turned out she locked the door.

At this, she furrowed her brow. However, Lexa assumed that maybe Titus dropped something off and was in the RV for some reason.

When Lexa took a step in the Winnebago and smelled the first whiff of liquor, she forcefully frowned and flared her nostrils taking in the scent.

“You sure this is our ride?”

“Clarke, this is the only black and white RV here,” Lexa assured her girlfriend.

She held the door open for Clarke and moved to take off her shirt to allow her body to breathe.

“Um, Lexa…”

The brunette threw her shirt onto the captain’s seat.

“Who the _fuck_ are you guys-- how the _fuck_ did you get in here-- and get the _fuck_ out!” Lexa growled.

The girls standing in the RV nodded and scurried out. Clarke stood stunned.

“Can you lock the door, babe?”

The blonde had already done so as soon as they exited.

“Does this happen often?”

“No, this was the first time it happened to me, save for when my siblings snuck in to surprise me, but that’s different.”

A few seconds were taken for Lexa to calm herself.

“Where do you wanna spend the night?” Lexa turned to the blonde.

She was tired as well as Clarke, and just wanted to have a peaceful night between themselves.

“Somewhere quiet with nice lights,” Clarke said. “You okay, though, Lex?”

“Mmmhmm. Kiss me, please?”

Clarke nodded and leaned in for the sweet affection.

“Can I sit here with you?”

“Of course.”

Clarke did so, buckling in.

“I have some of that frozen lemonade.”

Lexa was grateful that they got a large to share, “Sounds good. We had almost four today.”

Clarke laughed a little at that fact. The two women took the spoons out and fed each other for a bit in the front seat.

“Hold on, sweethea-- damn, brain freeze.” Lexa winced.

Clarke kissed the side of her head after taking the spoonful Lexa held in front of her mouth. The blonde peppered Lexa’s face with kisses. Not being able to hold back, Lexa smiled.

“Better?” The blonde asked while pulling back.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

Now her smile looked dopey and laugh-provoking. They finished off the lemonade, and Lexa started the ignition. Clarke loved seeing the brunette drive whenever she did. Lexa looked badass and poised, almost like Angelina Jolie in an action film. The brunette turned on some gentle music and hummed along to it.

“Whatchu lookin’ at beaut?” Lexa asked with a smirk on her face.

Clarke blushed, “You, aka my girlfriend. You’re the cutest ever, babe.”

When Clarke reached over to gently pinch Lexa’s cheek, the brunette laughed, “So are you, sweetheart. I would tickle you, but I’m driving, I’ll get you later.”

Soon, the city came closer into view.

“This parking lot is surrounded by a bunch of buildings. Like the view? --Oh wait, there’s a botanical garden there, wow, _with lights!_ ” Lexa leaned forward and widened her eyes.

Seeing Lexa so enamored by the lights made Clarke smile. The brunette turned in the parking lot and parked.

“Home sweet home.-- Well, at least for tonight.”

_You’re my home, Lexa._

_Home is wherever you are, Clarke._

The brunette shuffled out the driver’s seat, took Clarke’s hand, and led her to the back of the RV. Clarke looked so beautiful at this moment. Lexa loved the way her hair toppled over her shoulders, how beautiful her bare face looked, how curvey her legs were.

“Wanna relax and watch a movie before bed?” Clarke suggested.

Lexa nodded. She took Clarke’s hand and followed her to bed.

“Wanna choose the movie?”

“You can choose.” The brunette insisted.

The blonde shifted around Netflix. There was a hotspot in the RV, so accessing the internet was fairly easy. Lexa plopped on the bed, but instantly regretted it when she struggled to sit up. To this, Clarke helped her.

“You okay?”

Lexa had always noticed how beautiful Clarke was, but in this moment, the blonde looked irresistible.

“Yeah.”

“Whatchu staring at me for, baby?” The blonde flashed her squirm-inducing smile.

(Lexa literally squirmed). The blonde took off her shoes.

“Clarke,” Green eyes brilliantly looked at her girlfriend after removing her contacts and putting on her glasses. “um, can I ask you something?”

“Yes. Yeah, sure, babe.” Clarke moved towards the bed and sat next to Lexa.

The brunette intertwined their fingers and kissed Clarke’s knuckles.

“Clarke, I love you.  And it is because I love you, that I don’t want to have _rough_ sex with you, rather make sweet love. But only if you want to.” Lexa said quietly.

_Really, Lexa? What the fuck, dude? MaKe SwEeT lOvE? Who the hell are you? Susan from the church barbecue?_

Clarke could see and hear the want Lexa had. She really wanted it too. They never actually had sex with each other before. They “planned” to, but they would only go as far as heavy kissing. Clarke bit her lip as she looked into emerald green eyes.

 _Her_ girl’s emerald green eyes.

“Yes, Lexa.” She leaned in and gave Lexa a bruising kiss. “I’ll make love to you.”

Lexa wanted to embrace the intimate moment. She didn’t want a quickie and then end up cumming in six seconds, she wanted to sink into every touch, movement, and sensation, and savour it _all_.

“If anything hurts, tell me, okay?” Clarke asked pulling away.

To which Lexa nodded firmly. She knew Clarke wouldn’t hurt her.

Clarke stood up from the bed and discarded her clothes while Lexa backed up on the bed, and slowly removed her top. The blonde crawled up to straddle her (making sure to be careful where she rested her weight), and helped her, placing another long love filled kiss on Lexa’s lips right after the shirt was pulled away. At some point, Lexa’s glasses toppled onto the floor, neither of them giving a care about it.

Pale fingers hooked around the waistband of ripped jeans and slid them carefully off. This left Lexa in nothing but underwear.

Lexa felt chills as she looked into the blue eyes looking into hers. There was desire in the air. The brunette cupped her girlfriend’s face and kissed her hard. Clarke’s knee fell in between Lexa’s legs and moved up, rubbing against her wet front. The brunette brought her hands up to Clarke’s chest, fondling with her breasts.

“Please, Clarke, I need you.” Lexa breathed out.

“Okay.”

Clarke kissed down Lexa’s body, beginning with her jawline. The brunette’s breath began to hitch and escalate or slow down at the feeling of Clarke’s lips getting closer to where she needed her most. Clarke stopped when she was level with Lexa’s soaked underwear.

“Wow, you’re _so wet_.”

Lexa moaned at the tone of Clarke’s voice.

“Fuck!”

Clarke carefully ripped off Lexa’s boxer briefs and Lexa got a little wetter at the feeling of Clarke’s breath at her exposed center. She felt so vulnerable like this, but so eager and ready at the same time. She trusted Clarke, and she loved her. She was glad she was doing this with her. Pleasure began when Clarke said,

“I love you.”

Before diving into Lexa’s folds tongue-first. Lexa’s back arched, and her legs opened further begging for Clarke’s tongue deeper. The blonde swirled her tongue around Lexa’s walls. Lexa’s moans were a good complimenting sound against the gentle instrumental music they didn’t even realize was playing. Clarke reached her hands up for Lexa’s small breasts.

“Clarke....” Lexa breathed out, tangling her long fingers in Clarke’s blonde locks. “Christ!”

She felt like she was floating. Clarke was playing god and taking her there. No-- Clarke was playing _goddess_.

Lexa screamed louder in pleasure as Clarke’s tongue circled her clit, and then sucked her clit hard, bringing forth her first orgasm. It was then that Lexa swore she saw stars. Under her, Clarke lapped up her release. She never thought that pleasure would be this great and ridiculously addicting.

“More, please, babe!” Lexa pleaded quietly.

Clarke crawled back up her body and calmed down her tension from her orgasm by kissing her. Tasting herself on Clarke’s tongue just hit differently. First off, Lexa didn’t think she would taste this way. Clarke kissed her hard.

This time, Lexa moved her hands to wander up and down Clarke’s back. She reciprocated the kiss, making it longer. Clarke moved them to where they were laying on their sides. The blonde came up for air. Her left hand trickled down to the valley between Lexa’s legs. She looked into emerald eyes and bit her lip when she felt her destination.

Tanned hands came up to Clarke’s breasts, fondling and massaging them. She moaned harder (it came out more like a groan) to Clarke’s mouth.

To allow better access, Lexa spread her left leg further away. At first, two fingers went in, filling Lexa up in the way she most needed. The brunette scrunched up her face and hid in in Clarke’s chest.

“Cum again for me, baby,” Clarke whispered into her hair, embracing the tickle of some strands to her face.

Boldness got to Clarke, and she sunk in a third digit. The brunette happily accepted it, and moaned louder, panting occasionally. She eagerly sucked on the skin of Clarke's clavicle, working her way up to the side of her neck, just below her ear. Now, when Clarke curled her fingers upwards, Lexa lost it. She squirted.

In her pleasured Lexa somehow managed to straddle Clarke, and continue the kiss. Their bodies were fused together, Clarke’s cum-soaked fingers sliding up and down Lexa’s spine, and rounding over the swell of her ass while they kissed, and back again, over and over again. A tan knee rested in between Clarke’s leg and stiffly rubbed up into her pussy. A few moans were muffled into Lexa’s mouth. Then, Lexa collapsed next to Clarke and kissed her again.

“How was that?”

“Really, _really_ nice. I liked it a lot. I love you, _Klark_.”

The blonde smiled and gave Lexa a chaste kiss to the lips.

“I love you too, Lex.” The brunette slowly pulled the covers up their bodies and snuggled into Clarke.

The blonde rested her arms at Lexa’s hips and brought her closer.

* * *

 Clarke woke up and moved to tighten her arms around Lexa and nuzzle her face in the apex of her shoulder and neck, but she didn’t feel Lexa. Her eyes shot open, and she saw that the spot in the bed next to her was cold and vacant. However, nice smells filled the Winnebago, beginning from the direction of the kitchen. Clarke put on her discarded undergarments and made her way out the back of the vehicle.

“Smells good.”

“Yeah, you always make me breakfast, so I thought I’d take care of it today,” Lexa said.

Clarke noticed that she underdressed a bit, seeing clearly that Lexa had put on some sweats and a shirt. Regardless, the blonde gently came up behind her and cuddled her close, inhaling her nature-y scent.

“I love you, and I loved last night. You didn’t wake up sore, did you?”

“No, I’m pain-free. I loved last night too.” Lexa rested her head against Clarke’s.

She set the cooking utensils down and turned around to be face to face with her lover.

“I love you.”

Before Clarke responded, Lexa leaned in for a nice good-morning-kiss. After parting, they leaned their heads against each other, and Clarke smirked, causing Lexa to chuckle.

“You wanna take a quick shower while I finish up here?” Lexa asked looking at Clarke through her eyelashes.

Clarke nodded, moving Lexa’s head with hers. This triggered another giggle from the brunette.

“You’re so immature!” Clarke cupped her face and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back.”

“Okay.”

They let each other go, allowing for Clarke to go take a shower.

“Hey, Alexa.” Lexa cleared her throat before going back to the pancakes which barely managed to get burned.

The rim of the device glowed.

“Play….” Lexa clicked her tongue. “Bloodline by Ariana Grande.”

_“Playing Bloodline by Ariana Grande.”_

The Winnebago was filled with an upbeat brass melody in the beginning. Lexa couldn’t help but bop her head a bit as she stirred the scrambled eggs. She allowed herself to hum with the lyrics. Soon, breakfast was ready and at the table.

“Clarke! Clarkie! Sweetheart! Babe!” Lexa called out, wandering towards the master bedroom.

She nearly bumped into her freshly bathed girlfriend.

“Sorry, breakfast is ready.” Lexa angled her head down to kiss her better.

The blonde had her sketching pencil in hand.

“It’s okay.”

“I see you’re up to drawing in the morning again.”

“Yeah, it’s fun.” The blonde insisted.

She really only drew on days when she didn’t have to rush to work. She could truly immerse herself properly. The brunette intertwined their fingers, and they got going to the table. They got about a few bites of the scrambled eggs down before Lexa’s phone vibrated against the table.

“I swear-- _Hey guys._ ” the brunette changed her tone from exasperated to slightly sarcastic, and it caused the blonde to silently laugh.

Lexa shook her head and smirked as well.

“ _What?”_

“ _I said_ , hey, you guys!” Lexa held her phone close and had a group video chat with her friends.

Clarke was next to her sketching and doodling.

“ _Where’s Clarke?”_

“She’s here. Clarke, the group’s asking about you.” Lexa slightly turned and nudged her girlfriend’s arm.

“Hey.” Clarke smiled and waved at them with a pencil in hand.

“ _How are you?”_

“Good, you guys?”

“ _We miss you guys!_ ”

“ _Yeah, we miss you lovebirds!”_

 _“We need to meet up somewhere!_ ”

“ _Clarke, we need you to hypnotize Lexa into throwing a party so we can come over._ ”

Clarke raised her brow comically, “Babe?”

Lexa chuckled. Whether Clarke was joking or not, the blonde looked like she approved.

“Can I invite my group over?”

Lexa nodded, “A big frat party.” She then turned to her phone. “Yes, I’ll text you the date.”

Lexa finished the phone call.

“I don’t know how to throw a party.”

“Me neither.”

“Sounds like it’ll be a great time.”

The two broke out into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Be sure to leave a comment below.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea why it lost double spacing at some points in the chapter. I didn't know how to edit double spacing in here.

 

**Two Weeks Later**

  
  


The two girlfriends spent their time googling how to throw a ‘bomb-ass party’.

“Lincoln, you’re coming to this party you’re one of us,” Lexa said. “Okay and… Lincoln, you can let loose while Anya dives into her case. Please?”

Lexa brought the phone away from her mouth, “Clarke, you have a single friend right?”

Clarke nodded, “Jasper and Octavia.”

She mouthed ‘good’, before continuing the call, “Lincoln, _c’mon_ , there’s a single girl coming over, time to shoot your shot especially with those guns of yours, have you worked out recently?” 

Clarke laughed at the conversation. It was hard to believe that Lexa was gay when she was trying to convince Lincoln that he had features good enough for Octavia. She had never seen the man in person, but from what she was overhearing, Octavia would be sold on his biceps. 

“Thank you.”

“You really forced him to come?” Clarke chuckled finishing up her work on her laptop.   
“He barely goes out. Also, he’s coming over to spend the night. His plane arrives in two days.” Lexa said. “Are your friends coming?”   
Clarke nodded, “Mr. and Mr. Jaha are showing up. Bellamy and his girlfriend are showing up, Octavia and Jasper are two, and so are Rae and Murphy.”   
“Also, I see how much of a kick you’re getting out of saying Mr. and Mr. Jaha.” Lexa chuckled.   
Clarke smiled. I’ll get a kick out of saying Mrs. and Mrs. Griffin-- or Woods one day. Since her best friend and his boyfriend tied the knot, she had been nothing short of excited. Although, Jaha was definitely an excited father in law as well.    
“So, putting everyone’s taste in mind, I was thinking definitely pizza, both cheese, and pepperoni as well as chips. Speaking of, do takis and ranch go together?”   
“What the hell kind of combination, is that, Lex? I’m thoroughly disappointed in you!”   
Lexa broke out into laughter.   
“But that sounds good. Maybe some soda’s beer, and wings too?”

“Sounds fucking awesome,” Clarke said. “I’m done with work, c’ mere.”

Clarke closed her laptop and Lexa threw aside her can as she made her way there, leaning down slightly for a kiss. She winced a bit. Today, her lower back was really nagging her, and she hated it.

“Hold on.” Clarke stood up and put a hand around Lexa’s waist, gently moving her fingers soothingly over the skin. “Is that better?”

“Yeah, thanks, sweetheart.”

“No problem, I  _ wuv _ you.” Clarke cooed. 

Lexa smiled, “I  _ wuv _ you too,  _ Cwarke _ .” She gave the blonde an additional peck.

“Wanna go cuddle in bed and watch some Netflix?”

Lexa nodded, “and chill. Not  _ chill. _ ”

Clarke nodded. 

“I get to be big spoon this time.” Lexa proclaimed.

They made it to the bedroom and Clarke turned on a true-crime series they were watching. Lexa held Clarke by the waist, snuggled her face in the crook of her neck, and left a few kisses there. 

“You’re so cute in this work outfit,” Lexa said.

The blonde wore a nice blouse and blazer with a matching dress skirt. She had come home from work and got some pesky emails out the way. 

“Mind if I change out of it?” Clarke asked.

“Sure, that’s fine.” Lexa let go of her, and Clarke went to the closet. 

Lexa watched as she changed into some sweats and one of her shirts. From the closet door, Clarke watched Lexa watching her, and her heart fluttered at the sight of the girl she loved. It was seriously making her smile dopily. 

“Lexa, wanna know why I love you?”

The brunette tried to hide the blush in her cheeks. She nodded. Meanwhile, Clarke made her way back to bed.

“Because you’re kind and sweet, and since you kissed me for the first time in that bathroom… I knew that I wanted to find you, and get to know you. Because you’re beautiful on both the inside and out.”

“And you found me.” 

Clarke playfully booped her nose.

“Really? Or did  _ you _ ?” Lexa opened her arms with a huge smile.

She wasn’t going to admit how happy and sappy she was at the same time. 

“Whichever way, we got each other back. I love you so much too, Clarkie. And I have no words to describe this…  _ feeling _ . But it feels really good, so, that’s good right?”

Clarke nodded and leaned down to kiss Lexa, “Yeah, it’s really good.”

“C’ mere, I wanna cuddle you.”

“I love this so much.” Lexa snuggled close into Clarke.   
The blonde smiled, “So do I.”   
“You also seem tired.” Lexa kissed behind her ear and twirled a blonde lock between her fingers.   
“I am.”

The past week had been nothing but nights of Clarke working a few extra hours. It was just on the start of Monday that Kane decided to exempt the architects from such extended time.    
“Then sleep, I’m here, I’ll watch over you.”   
Lexa moved a strand of gold behind her ear before pecking her lips. Clarke turned around and looked into Lexa’s eyes.    
“Lexa, it’s afternoon, not nearly time to go to sleep.” The blonde protested.    
“It’s fine, Clarke.”    
Lexa wrapped her arms tight around the blonde and allowed her to rest her head on her chest. Lexa loved this. She loved holding Clarke like this. Clarke loved this. She loved being held like this.    
She felt safe and warm. She looked up, and put an arm around Lexa’s waist, gently rubbing at the skin of her lower back. Lexa hummed a tune.   
“Ooh, I get a lullaby,” Clarke said quietly with a small smile.    
Lexa furrowed her brows, “I thought you were asleep.”   
This expression soon turned to a smile. With the exemption of the show playing in the background, there was silence and love. Lexa admired the girl in her arms so much. Occasionally, she looked over her shoulder to see the show, but eventually, Clarke’s warmth wore off on her, and she fell asleep too. When Clarke felt Lexa’s weight relax on the bed, she smiled to herself. 

Carefully, she brought the blanket on their bed up, to cover their intertwined bodies. She kissed Lexa’s cheek and then feel back into a slumber.

* * *

 

  
  


**Friday Night**

  
  


Lexa had never said so many ‘hello’s in her life. Well, she  _ had _ , but never in out-of- _ Heda _ situations. Seeing all their friends together in one place was eye-opening in a way. They grew up with all these people. 

“Roan, I am not a weight-bar.” Lexa chuckled. 

The man still continued lifting her over his head effortlessly. Clarke approached.

“I finally got O and Lincoln to chat.” The blonde said.

Lexa looked over to the corner of the living room to see her friend and Clarke’s friend. Lincoln kept rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his weight to one foot to the other, while Octavia smiled up at him.

“It’s so cute and straight.” Lexa chuckled. 

“Hey, if you wanna see some lesbians, look at Rae and Murphy.”

The two were tangled in each other’s laps like they were getting ready to scissor with clothes on. 

“Laugh my  _ ass _ off!” Lexa was trying her best not to sound like a goose. 

There was a knock at the door that Luna only heard because she was next to it. 

“It’s unlocked!”

When Aden arrived, Luna walked up to him and scuffled his hair playfully. The nineteen-year-old was tall and lanky, his hair in a slightly grown out buzz cut.    
“Hey!”

“Hey, you.” Luna chuckled, “You’ve grown.”   
When the group was younger, they saw Aden and Madi almost as much as they saw Lexa. Aden had gone for college, so he had basically ghosted everyone after graduating high school. He fist-bumped Luna pike they almost always did.    
“Hey, thanks. Lexa?”   
He hadn’t seen his sister since new years.   
“Roan is lifting her.”    
Aden chuckled and got moving towards the living room. He went over and waved at his sister.    
“Aden!”   
Lexa finally got Roan to put her down and the first thing she did was give out an,   
“Eww.” The brunette wrinkled her nose and wafted her hand in front of her face comedically.    
“Right back at you.”   
“How have you been?”   
“Good. You?”   
“Good.”   
Lexa cut the sibling tension by giving him a hug.    
“You’re not five anymore.”   
“And you’re not...” Aden didn’t know how to come up with a response. “Dragging Madi around.”   
“I have a cane and I’m not afraid to use it,” Lexa said playfully.   
“I’m gonna say hi to everyone and then raid your kitchen if that’s okay,” Aden said nonchalantly.   
Lexa chuckled hard and patted his shoulder, “Fine, don’t be a stranger.”   
“That’s hard, I don’t know some of these people.” He looked around, noticing some of Clarke’s friends, some of which stood out to him, making him make mental notes on who to approach first.

“You’re a Woods, it shouldn’t be that hard.”   
This proved true when Aden greeted Clarke. The two were naturally nice people, so it went through smoothly. Lexa went over to Clarke stiffly.    
“I never knew how much I missed everyone until now,” Lexa said into her ear.    
They were a few feet shy from the speaker. Clarke nodded in agreement. She also realized how old they were getting. Everyone was either still in college, or in their last years of it, with a job, with partners, in love, getting married, thinking of starting families within the next five to ten years. They simply could not believe it.    
Soon they would be older with children, and being slightly discounted, knock-off versions of their parents. (Way better though).    
“Yeah, and seeing them all in one room.”   
Everyone was getting along well. Bellamy and Roan were chatting while showing each other pictures of themselves at the gym. Gaia, Jasper, and Aden chatted between themselves, laughing already. Lincoln and Octavia... well they were nowhere to be found, so the couple decided against looking for them.    
“Want a chip?” Lexa offered Clarke.   
The blonde nodded. She took a bite of it, and Lexa bit off the other part.    
“Hey, Lesbians!” Raven and Murphy approached them.    
Clarke and Lexa looked at each other, silently counting each other off before turning to the other couple.    
“Hey, lesbians!”   
The four of them laughed.   
“So, how’s everything been?” Raven asked.    
Murphy held his arms around her shoulders and rested his head.

“Good. How about with you guys?”    
“Good also.”   
“Should we be expecting any of your kids laying around on the couch?” Clarke said with a raised brow, Lexa slightly nudged her shoulder as well.    
“Hmm?”   
“Did any of you bang on the couch?”   
The two looked flabbergasted and completely take. Aback while the couple in front of them laughed.   
“What? No, we were cuddling.” They were quick to defend.    
“Looked like a lot more.”   
It really did.    
“Sorry.” Raven squeaked out, and Murphy hid his blushing face away.    
“No, it’s fine, we were joking. Want a beer?”   
That helped ease the joke down slightly. Clarke went into the fridge and took out three beers. Lexa decided to play it safe with a coke. They chatted lightly with each other, eventually getting to talk with nearly everyone in the room. Somehow someway, Clarke ended up in a conversation with Luna talking about which detergents were better. 

Jasper playfully poked Lexa’s cane in his drunken stupor. Gaia laid on the couch, she reached up and pulled on Lexa’s index finger over and over again. Lexa just laughed. Aden left to be able to make it back to his dorm at a reasonable time for early morning sports practice --whichever sport he was participating in now. These people were too drunk to function properly, and Lexa was making mental notes on how many people she would have to make stay at her home so that they wouldn’t get hurt on their way home. 

Jasper looked up at her wide-eyed. 

“It’s metal.”

“Yeah.” Lexa chuckled patting his head. 

Jasper blinked a few times, then stumbled into a sitting position against the front of the couch.

“You okay, Jasper?”   
“Uh huh.”

Gaia passed out as well on the couch. The house was mostly vacant save for Lincoln and Octavia in the guest bedroom to their own devices, these two, and Luna.    
“Bye, Lex.”

“Bye, Luna.” 

“Bye, Clarke.”

“Bye, Luna.”

“Also, can you two stop being sappy lesbians and respond to the text messages in the group chat?” Luna chuckled. 

“Luna, we don’t spend our days texting like you. But we do, occasionally.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, my uber’s here.” Luna chuckled heading out the door. 

The couple was left with two sleeping friends in their living room. 

“I’m gonna try to get Jasper to the other couch,” Clarke said. 

Lexa nodded turning around, “I’ll find the blankets.”

Clarke’s phone rang right as she put both hands under Jasper’s arms to lift him. 

“I’m gonna take this,” Clarke said to Lexa.   
The brunette nodded, “Okay. Don’t be too long.”   
“Trust me I won’t,” Clarke said as she walked out onto the back porch and answered.   
The caller i.d. said anonymously.    
“Hello?”   
“Hello, Clarke.”   
“Abby.” Clarke gulped.   
She really wasn’t expecting this. Especially at this hour. 

“Um, do you need anything?” Clarke didn’t know if she was coming on too strong. 

“Um, I just haven’t been able to sleep. I don’t want to bother your father.”

There was a pause while Clarke tried to figure out what to say. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Clarke gulped again.

“Can you just talk to me? I’m out of thoughts for words.”

Through the curtains on the inside, Clarke saw Lexa bring blankets and pillows. They eyed each other and Lexa nodded. 

“How have you and the boyfriend been?” Abby asked.

Clarke cringed.

“Um, I don’t have a boyfriend, Abby. I have a girlfriend. Her name is Lexa.”   
“Did you just get together with her?”

“No, but we’ve been together for almost a year.”

“Oh, is she good to you? Do I need to get your father to talk to her?” 

Clarke chuckled, “She’s perfect, we love each other so much.”

“That’s good.”

“You’re okay with this?” Clarke asked.

“Love is love no matter who it’s between. As long as it’s humans.”

Clarke chuckled quietly. 

“And… your job?”

Everything froze at that moment. Clarke held her breath.  _ This is the real Abby, she was probably never legitimately mad about that.  _

“I’m still working there.”

Clarke held her breath again. Seriously, what was with her and breathing?

“You  _ are _ ?” Clarke furrowed her brows.

Abby hummed in approval, “Mmhmm.” She said. “Is it going well?”

“Yes.”

* * *

 

“Who was it?” Lexa asked curiously, tucking the blanket on Jasper’s body. 

It took the two of them to get the guy laying on the couch. (Clarke took his upper half, while Lexa was on leg duty). Jasper hardly moved a muscle, but he was alive. 

“My mom.”

Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes and furrowed her brows. She hummed. The expression on her girl’s face was alarming. 

“Was it okay?”

Lexa stepped away from the couch to turn off the t.v. 

“Yes.”

A part of Lexa was worried. Clarke was upsettingly quiet, and she wondered if it was something that Abby said. (If it was so, Lexa had the address saved to her GPS, and she would confront the woman, should need be). 

“You sure?” Lexa asked, putting both her hands on Clarke’s shoulder. 

Clarke nodded smiling at Lexa’s smile, “It was just... weird.”

Lexa nodded, understanding her girlfriend’s emotions. 

“You look tired, sweetheart.” Lexa stroked the side of her face. 

“I am, join me to bed?”

Lexa nodded. They linked hands and turned off the lights on their way to the bedroom. Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek playfully causing the blonde to giggle. Clarke got her back with a boop to the nose. It was enough of a distraction for her to kiss her jawline. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Lexa gushed opening the door for her. 

“So are you.”

Clarke scooped her up and Lexa exclaimed.

“Shh, it’s me, not a ghost, calm down,” Clarke said kissing her on the lips. 

“I’m glad you’re not a ghost.” 

“I’m glad neither of us are ghosts,” Lexa added.

Clarke set her down on the bed. 

“I don’t feel like wearing pajamas,” Lexa said undressing, leaving underwear and a random shirt on. 

Clarke was already in the process of changing. The brunette couldn’t help but watch her. The blonde caught her and arched her brow. She turned around. Lexa shoved her hand up to her eye, pretending to take out her contacts.

“You go to the bathroom for that, Lex.” Clarke reminded with a chuckle. 

The blonde plopped down on the bed to be greeted by a kiss from her girlfriend which she hummed into. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The blonde turned on the television. Lexa held onto Clarke. Cuddling into her girlfriend’s body, Lexa sighed deep into the touch. They laughed with the jokes and laugh tracks. It was during the commercial breaks that Lexa heard something.

“The fuck is that?”

Clarke sat up and looked around. It didn’t take long for Clarke to decipher the sounds. 

“It’s Lincoln and O.” Clarke scoffed. 

Lexa broke out into laughter, putting her hand on her mouth to keep from being too loud. 

“We should never let them hear the end of this,” Lexa said with a smirk. 

“How _evil_ ,” Clarke said shaking her head. 

They just couldn’t contain the jokes. 

“I just hope they don’t wake up Gai or Jasper.” 

“Same.”

* * *

 

“Aw, aren’t we all one happy family?” Lexa asked going into the kitchen, drawing on her glasses. 

Two hungover clowns sat sagged at the table, barely able to hold their heads up. 

“I’m so hungover.” Gaia groaned.

“So, stop drinking, or reduce the amount you drink from now on, ’kay?” Lexa patted their heads with her cane. 

“Fine, _ mother _ .” 

“Hey, I know best,” Lexa said proudly.

She eyed her girlfriend who was at the stove.

“Hey there, sweetheart.”

“Hey, Lex.”

She leaned in to kiss her gently. 

“Sleep good?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Not really, they really went on for several rounds.” Lexa chuckled. 

“Clarke,” Gaia called for her.

“Yes, Gaia?”

“Hug?” 

Gaia wasn’t yet sober. 

“Sure.” The blonde went over and hugged the other blonde. 

“Lex, I’m stealing your girl.”

“Please, you’re as straight as they come.” Lexa joked. 

“I like it here. Adopt me.” Jasper mumbled taking an additional sip of water.

“Jas, you’re in your twenties.” Clarke shook her head with a smirk.

The blonde just stood there holding Gaia. 

“You’re so soft,” Gaia said rubbing her arm in her hungover phase.

“Thanks.” Clarke chuckled.

Maybe they snuck an extra drink or two because they were acting similar to last night. 

“Hey, I wanna hug, Lexa?” Jasper mumbled.

The brunette chuckled, obliging.

“If you guys ever have kids, best believe you’re cuddling with them a lot,” Jasper mumbled.

Lexa exchanged a smile with Clarke. Good to know. 

“Did you have any more drinks?”

“Yeah, a vodka.”

The couple sighed. Clarke let go of Gaia to continue breakfast, and give them some more water to lay off the hangover a bit. The brunette cuddled her girlfriend from behind. Clarke smiled, looking over her shoulder. She pecked a kiss to Lexa’s cheek.

“Aww, this is so  _ gay _ .”

The two chuckled.

“Need my help with anything, Clarke?”

“Um, can you check on the coffee, please?”

“Of course.” Lexa pecked her cheek.

The brunette stiffly went over to the coffee maker. The blonde had already started enough coffee for the six of them. 

The brew had just started tricking into the pot. The brunette let Clarke know and the blonde nodded.

“You hungover too?”

“No, but I’m tired, I didn’t go to sleep until they finished all their rounds.” The blonde yawned.

(So that was basically somewhere close to two in the morning). Lexa smirked. She would make sure that Clarke got a nap later on in the day.

“Let’s not let them hear the end of it.” Lexa nudged her shoulder playfully. 

Clarke shook her head laughing to herself. Eventually, Clarke had finished putting together a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs, fruit, coffee, and waffles. (She would have opted for pancakes, but she didn’t have the patience to flip about twenty). 

“Also some leftovers from last night if you want, although I feel it would be a good option for dinner or lunch.”

“I’ll go wake up those lovebirds.” Lexa leaned on her cane to start walking to the guest room.

She awkwardly slid her glasses back on her face and twitched her brows up. Anytime she did this, Clarke would coo and call her _ ‘thecutestthingeverohmygodyou’resoprecious!’  _ Lexa chuckled just thinking about that. She knocked on the door but didn’t dare open it.

“Hey, come out for breakfast. My girlfriend is a fucking master chef and you aren’t gonna want to miss out on this.”

Lexa would take any chance to brag about Clarke. She heard an ‘okay’ from inside the room and went back to the table to help Clarke. 

“Thank you, lesbos,” Gaia said eating one of her waffles.

“I’m bisexual,” Clarke said sitting down with her plate. 

Lincoln and Octavia emerged from the guest room, and Lexa and Clarke couldn’t look at them seriously. 

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

*kiss* “Good morning.”

Gaia raised her brow, “Ah, I’m guessing you two are a thing now?” The girl stuffed her face while mentally noting to try to swing by for breakfast more often. “Side note, Clarke, you’re hands have been touched by some sort of god. Blessed. I love you, sister.”

Clarke smiled, “Thank you, Gaia.”

“You, Lexa, are fucking lavished and spoiled.” Gaia turned to the brunette, then back to O and Lincoln. “So, when did this... begin?”

Lincoln furrowed his brows, “Are you interrogating us?” 

“Shut up, I ask all the questions.” The girl said. 

Lexa blamed the alcohol in her system. Lexa put her hand on the girl’s mouth to keep her quiet.

“Just, please, don’t hurt each other. Octavia, please don’t hurt Lincoln, but please make him leave the gym.”

Clarke eyed Lexa and nodded, “I have something to add as well. Lincoln, don’t hurt O, but please settle her down.”

“Any words from you, Jasper?”

“Um, what you guys said. Also, the food’s good, so eat up.” Jasper continued playing candy crush on his phone. 

“Well, we’re not official yet,” Octavia said immediately. “We’re gonna go on a few dates and then decide.”

The other four at the table nodded and hummed. 

“Sit down, eat up. Everyone here’s family.” Lexa insisted, poking at them with her cane from where she sat at the table.

* * *

 

Clarke walked into Lexa’s home studio and listened to her play a soft melody on her keyboard. Often times on calm days, Clarke would walk in on Lexa like this. The brunette looked happy and in her own bubble and Clarke knew not to pop it. 

“Take a nap, babe.” Lexa turned around. “C’ mon, sleep on the couch, and I can play some songs for you.”

“Okay,” Clarke said.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” The blonde engulfed her in a long kiss. 

The brunette couldn’t help but cup her face and deepen it. 

“Take a nap, Clarke. Do you want me to play anything in specific?”

The blonde sat on the couch and rested on her side. 

“Anything sounds good.”

Lexa nodded, “Okay, now close your eyes.”

Clarke did so. Lexa couldn’t help but watch her for a second. 

 

“ _ I've been watching you _

_ For some time _

_ Can't stop staring _

_ At those oceans eyes...” _

 

Clarke’s jaw dropped. Her eyes couldn’t help but slightly water. 

“You did not.”

Clarke blushed quite a bit when Lexa looked at her. The brunette only gave her a slick wink.

 

“ _ Burning cities _

_ And napalm skies _

_ Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes _

_ Your ocean eyes... _ ”

 

Clarke couldn’t stop smiling. She cuddled a bit further into the couch, bringing both hands to lay under her head admirably. She loved this girl so much. Lexa made the cover her own by just playing the piano instrumental for a few measures.

“I love you, Lexa.”

“I love you too, Clarke.”

Lexa got to the last line of the song and sighed with a smile happily to herself. She thought she sounded good. From the looks of it, five minutes of singing put Clarke to sleep. Great idea, Lexa. Blue eyes had just begun to flicker shut. 

Stiffly, Lexa got up from the seat and went to their bedroom to retrieve a light blanket. The brunette made sure to be careful. She left her cane in the studio but felt bold enough to go without it. She hung onto the walls to keep from losing her balance so much. What the hell, I’m doing it! 

When she arrived in the room, she made a small victory dance but stopped abruptly when she nearly toppled to the floor. She held the blanket close to her chest and made the minute-long journey by foot back to the studio. Carefully, Lexa draped the blanket over her girlfriend and kissed her forehead. She stroked the side of the girl’s face, then sat back in front of her keyboard. She played a nice classical melody this time. 

Carmen. However, the brunette had gotten too into it, that she missed a note. She hit a minor key instead.

“That’s fine, I can…” Lexa started a different pattern of notes and played well through Clarke’s nap. “marvelously save that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on chapter 17, and I'll I'm gonna say is... TIME JUMP


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my apologies for any awkward spacing. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.

 

**April, 2025**

  
  


Lexa dragged Clarke to their special place in the park. The blonde chuckled and tried her best to keep the small black box in her pocket from slipping out. They were together for what felt like forever. 

“C’ mon, sweetheart!” Lexa said excitedly.

She had Clarke’s hand in hers. Clarke swore she looked so beautiful. She always did. The brunette adjusted well to walking with her cane. She wasn’t going to lie, her legs were not as easy to move as they used to be, but she wasn’t going to complain. 

Clarke usually walked slower whenever she was going anywhere with Lexa, but that resulted in moments like these. Moments when Lexa got giddy and impatient. Moments when she got to feel Lexa’s hands hooked onto her. Moments when she saw Lexa’s toothy grin. Moments, where she would be stunned and have to double, take because she was so amazed that this amazing, talented, kind, beautiful, witty, stubborn, brown-haired girl was her girlfriend. 

Along with those moments, Clarke loved it when Lexa would crawl on top of her, whether it was to annoy her, cuddle her, sleep on her, or to just get a quicker route to her lips for a kiss. Clarke loved the times when Lexa would wake up earlier in the morning, sit on the toilet or the sink and talk to her while she showered to get ready for work. She loved it when Lexa came to see her for lunch at work every day she had work, only missing a day when she did. She loved the times when Lexa would stare at her half-lidded with a smirk. Over the time they spent together, Clarke knew what it meant without a word having to be said. She loved the times when Lexa would often insist on trying to know about her day when it was the same every day, with no changes.

Clarke loved holding Lexa in her arms, letting the brunette fall asleep in them, or vice versa. She loved feeling her warmth close to her. She loved every kiss whether it was a quick peck or a long one. All of these (and many more) made Clarke want to experience it for the rest of her life. Which led to her buying the wedding ring for Lexa. 

The brunette stopped abruptly, causing Clarke to nearly drag her to the floor with her.

“Sorry, babe.”

“Ts’ okay, sweetheart,” Lexa said putting an arm around her waist. “My feet were getting tired.”

“I’ll rub them if you want.” Clarke offered.

“Thanks, babe. But are you sure that’s not an excuse to touch my feet?” Lexa nudged her shoulder.

“Hey! That’s bullying!” Clarke retorted, lightly nudging her girlfriend back. 

“It’s not bullying, it’s just bringing up that fact that you cuddled my feet while we were sleeping.” Lexa poked at her sides playfully and kissed the top of her head. 

Clarke turned slightly red. It was true, but on her side, Clarke was unaware that Lexa had gone to bed feet up. 

“You’ve just about used all of your get out of jail free cards, Lex.” Clarke playfully warned her with an arched brow.

The way that Lexa chuckled made her heart flutter even more. Clarke snatched her off her feet and twirled around. The brunette squealed and Clarke kissed her deeply.

“I love you, sweetheart.” Lexa smiled against her lips, resting her head against Clarke’s.

“I love you too, Lex.” Clarke placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

She began walking to their spot. Lexa drew her legs up behind Clarke’s back and locked them there as best she could. Yep, this was definitely on Clarke’s list of favorite moments. Clarke looked over Lexa’s shoulder to see where they were going. When central park came closer into view, she began eyeing for their spot. 

Lexa’s legs cane undone behind her. The brunette struggled for a bit trying to get them back up. Clarke helped, then smiled up at her. You’re perfect. They got to the patch of grass, and Clarke set the brunette back on her feet. 

The red plaid tablecloth was laid down, and Clarke took Lexa’s hand, helping get her down comfortably. Clarke crouched down, and crossed her legs, putting her sketchbook next to her. Lexa laid back on the cloth. She gazed at the blue sky. Clarke hung her head over her face, golden curls flopping over, tickling the sides of her face, making her smile bigger. 

After a few seconds of thought, Lexa noticed that gazing into Clarke’s eyes were a much better view than the sky itself. The blonde kissed her, then retracted with a smile.  

“Can I draw you, Lexa?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

Clarke was excited. This was all part of her plan. 

“How do you want me to sit?”

“Just be you, Lex.” Clarke pinched her cheek and Lexa stuck her tongue out playfully. 

This was  _ also _ on the list. 

Clarke cupped her face with one hand and brought her in for a searing kiss. Lexa hummed into it with a smile. Lexa took it and simply existed, talking to Clarke about whatever. The blonde would converse with her as well, occasionally looking down to her sketchpad.

“--Hold on, your glasses are falling off,” Clarke said and slid the glasses back up. “Continue.”

Lexa smiled, “But I prefer pizza better.”

“It’s okay... I just like pasta. You can put things on it.”

“Same with pizza!” Lexa retorted. “Clarke Griffin, I always knew you were a fancy individual.”

Clarke chuckled, adding finishing touches to the page. She smiled to herself. She hoped Lexa would say yes. She closed it and set it aside.

“C’ mere, I’m gonna rub your legs for a bit.”

Lexa scooted closer, putting her legs in Clarke’s lap. The blonde gently took a calf and massaged it gently. 

“Mmm, that’s the spot.”

Lexa rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder. After a while, she switched to the other leg. 

“Is that good too?”

Lexa nodded, “Perfect. You’re perfect.”

Clarke kissed her cheek.  _ Do I do it now? Yeah, I am.  _ She took a deep breath. 

“Lex, can I show you something?”

“Sure.”

She adjusted her legs back in front of her. 

“What is it?”

Clarke took the sketchbook and set it on Lexa’s lap. 

“Start from the first page,” Clarke said with an arm around her shoulder. 

In the sketchbook were nothing but sketches of Lexa. The brunette smiled and looked left to Clarke. On the first page next to the sketch of her smiling, were touching words written in Clarke’s cursive. 

 

**_Roses are red_ **

 

Lexa smiled. She turned to the next page. 

  
  


**_Violets are blue_ **

  
  


Then it was a sketch that Clarke drew, using one of Lexa’s toddler pictures as a reference. 

  
  


**_My world got brighter the day I kissed you_ **

**_(I’m not a poet like you, but I can try ;p)_ **

  
  


Clarke noticed the tears forming in Lexa’s eyes, and she wasn’t going to lie about feeling nervous. She put her hand in her pocket and took hold of the box. Lexa got to the last page, recently done a few minutes prior. 

  
  


**_You’re home to me, Lexa. And I want to be with you forever._ **

  
  


Lexa looked at Clarke and nearly gasped when she saw her in front of her. Her girl on one knee, a beautiful ring in her hand. Lexa wasn’t a diamond or jewels type of girl, and Clarke got that right with a ring that was silver. In the center was a strip of gold, a beautiful design engraved in it. 

“I love you so much, Lexa. Getting to know you these past few years was the best thing ever. Every day I wake up with you, I feel so lucky. Every time we kiss, I feel fucking blessed. There were times when you left me completely amazed and starstruck, and so... admiring of you. 

Not only are you my girlfriend, but you are my best friend I tell you everything, and you tell me everything. I trust you so much...” oh god, now I’m crying. “I feel so lucky to have you in my life, Lexa. And I want to have you in it forever. So, Alexandria Joseph Woods, will you marry me?”

Lexa was full blown sobbing at this point, nodding. 

“ _ Yes _ .” She said. “Yes! A thousand times.”

Clarke smiled. Lexa held out her left hand, and Clarke slid the ring onto her ring finger then brought her into a deep kiss. 

“I love you so much, and I’m so happy to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Lexa was still crying, “I love you too, Clarke. I love you so much.”

“Shh, don’t cry, Lex.” Clarke wiped her tears. 

Lexa chuckled and let out a hiccup, “This is just so beautiful how can I--“ *hiccup* “stop?”

“Aww.” Clarke held her close and rubbed her back. 

“What do you think my parents will say?”

“I asked for their blessing and they said that they were beyond excited,” Clarke assured her. 

The blonde invited them out to a restaurant for dinner and everything while Lexa went grocery shopping. Lexa smiled. Clarke wiped her tears continuously.  

“What do you think your parents will say?”

“I dunno.” The blonde shrugged.

“But guess what?”

Clarke raised her brow, “What?”

“I get to grow old with you. And we’re getting married.” Lexa said to her fiancé. 

“Yeah.  _ Married _ .”

“I’m going on one last tour, then getting married, and settling down. What’s better than this?”

The two stayed in the park for another hour before going home. They walked down the trail down to the main street. A few raindrops hit Clarke’s face.

“Fuck.”

She lifted Lexa over her shoulder. 

“What the hell?” 

“I don’t want you to slip in those sandals,” Clarke said. 

“Look at you, always looking out for me.”

“Why would I not?”

“I dunno, because it’s in your nature to be like this, but I’m not complaining,” Lexa said. “But your ass looks good from here.”

“Lexa!” Clarke half scolded.

“Sorry, babe.”

“No, you’re fine, but we’re in a public setting.”

Clarke continued to walk them home. The blonde slapped her butt slightly. 

“It’s a public setting, Clarke,” Lexa said.

* * *

They got home in a matter of minutes. Clarke set the brunette down and brought her into a big kiss. Lexa hummed into it and cupped her face.    
“Bed,  _ now _ ,  _ Klark _ .” Lexa moaned hungrily into her mouth.

The blonde smiled against her mouth and brought her hand under Lexa’s butt to lift her up. She kissed down her jawline and made her way to the bedroom. Clarke carefully set her on the bed and they kissed heavily for a while. A shirt was removed, followed by some jeans, followed by another shirt, followed by a bra. Lexa’s hands immediately went to Clarke’s chest. 

She sat up a bit, kissing her collarbone, and sucking on the skin there, leaving behind hickeys. Clarke threw her head back and smiled, involuntarily bucking her hips forward. 

“Babe, I want you to fuck me with the strap,” Lexa said unlatching her lips from the skin on the apex of Clarke’s shoulder and neck. 

There were many times when Lexa was mentally aroused, but her body would forget the memo sometimes. Literally, every other part of Lexa’s body was on fire and pulling towards Clarke to fuck her fast, dirty, lustfully and senselessly, but Lexa’s southern regions were sort of oblivious. As Clarke tore away to find their strap in the closet, she leaned back on the bed on her elbows and removed the rest of her clothes. She ran her right hand down her body and massaged her folds awake. When she finally felt wetness and burning desire, she writhed her body and opened her eyes at the right time. 

The blonde standing at the foot of her bed looked at her wide-eyed, and with a smile. Her clothes had been stripped as well, leaving her in just the strap. Lexa boldly shoved two fingers in her pussy. Green eyes bore over the body of the woman in front of her. One thing that caught her attention, was her curvy figure. 

Next was the way her eyes darkened from blue, to blue-rimmed. Oh, and the girl’s breasts were the perfect size in Lexa’s opinion. Her skin was perfectly imperfect, and Lexa wanted to feel it against hers. However, none of her features compared to her heart. It was almost the loudest thing in the room (next to Lexa’s panting), beating loudly against Clarke’s ribcage.

The blonde slowly got on the bed, kneeling over Lexa, watching her for a few seconds, then leaning down to kiss her lips. Lexa’s free hand cupped her face. The blonde reveled in the way Lexa’s breath hitched in her mouth. Lexa let out a moan. Carefully, Clarke drew her hand away from her pussy. 

“Remember, if it hurts, tell me to stop, okay?”

Lexa nodded, “I want you now, Clarke.” Lexa’s voice was trembling as she begged. 

“You can have me.”

Clarke lined the strap up with Lexa’s center and went halfway in. The strap was nearly eleven inches. Lexa’s back arched slightly feeling filled up, yet not all the way. A soft caressing hand to the swell of her ass signaled Clarke to thrust in and out of the brunette. Lust-filled sounds filled the two women’s home. 

The blonde’s back were adorned with scratch marks, but she didn’t mind. The stimulator on her clit had her moaning as well. 

“Fuck, go all the way in!” Lexa spread her legs. 

Lexa’s back arched like a bow when Clarke hit the perfect spot. Her mouth dropped to make an ‘o’ shape, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, and a cry of pleasure let out next to Clarke’s ear. 

“Mmm.” Lexa gently milked out her orgasm by grinding against the strap-on on Clarke’s waist. 

Lexa held Clarke close. She was grateful that Clarke watched out for her waist, not putting all her weight on that region. The brunette was feeling hazy. However, she was not satisfied.

“Let’s keep going,” Lexa said softly against her ear. “Do you think you can?”

Lexa wasn’t going to admit that her lower back was feeling slightly heavy, and beginning to feel slightly sore, but she didn’t feel done yet. 

“I think I can if you can,” Clarke said getting up and taking the strap off of her waist, throwing it aside.

When she saw Lexa’s slight smile, she continued inching down to her pussy. It looked deliciously wet. At first, she began by swiping her tongue from bottom to top, savoring the overflow of her juices. The brunette above her curled her toes and whimpered. 

“That feels  _ so _ good.” Lexa flexed her fingers as well, not quite knowing what to do with them.

Lexa’s hips hurt so much when they woke up from their after sex nap. She didn’t care. She regretted nothing about it. The only thing she did, was turn around and allowed Clarke to bring her close.

* * *

 

 

**May, 2025**

 

“Clarke, thank god you’re here.”

Clarke looked up, arching her brow, “This is my job, why wouldn’t I?”

Kane chuckled hard to himself, turning around until he finished giggling. 

“Um, I was wondering if you could meet me in my office in about an hour. I have some things I want to discuss with you.”

Clarke nodded and gulped at the same time.

* * *

Lexa was in the kitchen cooking dinner for herself and Clarke. When she heard the front door open, she stepped out of the kitchen to greet Clarke. Her smile faltered when she saw the expression on Clarke’s face.

“What happened?” 

“Can we talk about it after dinner?” Clarke said quietly.

Lexa nodded, taking her hands in hers, “I love you, Clarke, and I’ve missed you since lunch break.”

“Me too, Lexa.” The blonde took Lexa in a warm embrace and kissed her cheek.

“Dinner’s not ready quite yet,” Lexa said after a pause. 

“I’m gonna change out of these clothes, alright?” 

Lexa nodded, “Okay.”

She pecked Clarke’s cheek before letting go. The blonde quietly moved towards their bedroom. Lexa noticed the thoughtful look that Clarke had. Carefully, she rested on the countertop with her hands.  _ What can I do? _

Minutes later, Clarke returned in some comfy sweats, and a shirt. She cuddled Lexa from behind as she cooked. 

“It smells really good, baby.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

Lexa cooked some pasta with stir-fried vegetables in it, finishing the meal off with some bread as well. During dinner, Clarke still had the look of pure nervousness. This made the brunette worried as well. She hoped that nothing bad happened. If such had happened, Lexa was ready to make anything look like an accident.

“Do I need to dropkick and gut someone?” Lexa asked her fiancé. 

Clarke shook her head ‘no’. 

“Do I need to be worried?”

Clarke shook her head negatively again.

“Did someone say something to you?”

Clarke shrugged. Oh, Lexa was so worried now. She just took Clarke’s hand and rubbed her thumb on the back of it. Lexa’s mind was racing. When Lexa’s mind raced, she got more creative than usual. 

And now Lexa was worrying. 

“We can figure it out, I promise,” Lexa said with a small smile. 

“It’s just... _ a lot,” _ Clarke said.

* * *

The two plopped on the couch, and Lexa sat next to Clarke, flush against her.

“What’s going on?”

“Kane pulled me to his office, and he told me about another promotion for a spot in The Ark at Paris.”

“ _ Paris _ ,” Lexa whispered, furrowing her brows.

“He told me that it was an alternate decision instead of firing me. He told me that he would even pay for living arrangements if we needed.” Clarke said. “But I’m not sure about it. Paris is across the world and what about our family and friends? Your studio. Everybody we know is here, or in the general U.S. area. I have never gone outside of The States before.”

“I’ve always thought Paris was beautiful,” Lexa said. “But yes, I do think we should consider it. I mean, you get a raise and everything. My studio isn’t a complete problem.”

Clarke nodded slightly. 

“What do you think of it aside from everything else?” Lexa asked, moving a strand of golden hair from Clarke’s face

“It’s a good opportunity. Not many can say that they live in the city of love. I just-- I hope that we can make it work.”

“We will,” Lexa said.

She leaned in and engulfed Clarke in a kiss. The blonde put an arm around her waist. Lexa slightly winced.

“Sorry.” Clarke slightly let go of her waist. 

“It’s fine.”

“How long has it been hurting?”

“Slightly this morning, I dunno why. It doesn’t hurt a lot, but at the same time, it feels numb and stiff. Whatever my body is weird.”

Clarke chuckled. 

“But it’s perfect.”

The brunette shook her head otherwise.

“We’re gonna keep talking about the previous topic though, okay?”

Clarke nodded.

* * *

 

 

**Mid-May, 2025**

 

“I’m-- I’m loving the extra instrumentals, but I don’t think it fits,  _ right _ with this song.”

“I hear you there,” Kyle said.

Emori and Finn stood there nodding with him. 

“Have y’ all ever heard the lyrics to this song?” Kyle asked.

He was almost scolding Finn and Emori.

“Okay, lay off on them, Kai.”

The man raised his hand in surrender, “Sorry, Heda.”  

Lexa glanced at the clock.

“Hey, um... maybe we can pick this up tomorrow? I don’t wanna keep you long.” Lexa suggested. 

She let the producers go.

“Okay, bye, Lexa.”

The first thing she did when they left was open a new file, and start from there. Lexa decided to go with nice soft gentle bass drum beats that were complex at the same time. She played a soft run on her piano, playing around until she stopped missing notes, then hitting record. When she replayed the track, Lexa still felt that it didn’t sound right, so she deleted the recording, and tried again, going into the nice acoustic room, and bringing the notes down a couple of octaves. This made it sound almost 3-d, and Lexa loved it. 

Then, she began singing the lyrics, softly and gently, letting them blend into the music like waves. Although no lyrics could ever perfectly describe her girl, Lexa went with it, and put some emotion behind her vocals. 

* * *

 

“What did you do, walking in here all smug?” Clarke arched her brow with a smile as she peeked out of the kitchen.

“ _ Just... _ doing what I do, you know.” Lexa shrugged, raising her voice an octave. 

The blonde shook her head and smiled wide, “ _ What  _ exactly did you do?”

“I want to surprise you.” 

Lexa went up to her and kissed her strongly. She got home  _ way _ later than she usually would have. 

“I missed you so much.”

“So did I.”

Clarke lifted her up by the waist and kissed her hard. 

“Hey!” Clarke said excitedly as she greeted Lexa at the door. “Ooh, you look so happy, what’s going on?”

Lexa only smiled wider.

“Mmm, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Clarke said pecking Lexa’s cheek causing a giggle. 

She struggled to lift her legs up around Clarke’s waist. Carefully, Clarke lifted her girl’s legs up. Lexa took a sip of some cranberry juice and offered some to Clarke. The blonde took a sip. 

“You know you’re gonna tell me about what you did, right?   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the chapter? if so, be sure to comment. Also leave any comments, questions, concerns, or requests. have a nice day/night.


	18. Chapter 18

 

**December, 2025**

  
  


Long fingers rolled the ring on her wife’s finger around, admiring it. They opted for a beautiful winter wedding. The both of them looked like they were snow queens, both wearing all white, elegant dresses and suits. 

Their parents cried the whole time, and their friends were…  _ themselves.  _

“C ‘mere, Lexa.”

“I’m here.”

“Oh, you know what I mean.” Clarke rolled onto her side, looking at Lexa. “Good morning, my love.”

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

The brunette leaned in and kissed her. She loved this woman with every cell in her body. 

“I love you,” Clarke said as they pulled away.

“I love you too.” 

“I can’t believe we leave in a week.”

“We live out of boxes, Clarke,” Lexa said in a matter-of-factly-tone.

Clarke chuckled, “I  _ believe _ it, Lexa, that was just a metaphor.” Clarke said. “I’m gonna go pee.”

Lexa reached out her arm as Clarke got up.

“Can you bring me my medicine and some water, please?”

As usual, in the morning, Lexa’s lower back and legs began hurting the second she slightly shifted her position on the bed. Before Clarke finished, the blonde returned with just what Lexa needed. Lexa sat up. 

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” The blonde gave her a kiss before going back to the bathroom. 

As she sat up, Lexa watched as Clarke washed her face and relieved her bladder, while simultaneously taking her medicine. She waited a few seconds before moving to get up. 

“Want waffles?” Clarke asked raising her brow.

Clarke made the most amazing waffles ever with their home waffle maker and suddenly Lexa’s stomach was much hungrier at the thought.  _ Sold. _

“Yes.” She said grabbing her cane. “Your cooking is the best.”

Clarke stood in front of her making sure she wouldn’t fall. In the mornings, Lexa’s muscles were extremely painful, and at its stiffest points. The brunette gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’ll be in the kitchen,  _ yell _ if you need me,” Clarke said with a smile. 

“Okay.” Lexa nodded. 

Lexa used the restroom, then grabbed her cane, leaning some of her weight on it. Her toes curled and uncurled as she extended her leg. Before going downstairs, she stretched her limbs thoroughly, loosening them.  

Lexa slowly made it to the kitchen. The smell of batter hit her nostrils and she smiled. 

“Wow, I was gone for ten minutes and you did all this.”

_ Of course, she did, Lexa. She’s the best wife ever.  _

“Lexa, it’s not that hard to make batter.” Clarke insisted with a chuckle. 

The brunette could easily refute. She managed to mess up ramen by putting barbecue in it instead of soy sauce. (The first question Clarke had was  _ ‘are you pregnant?’)  _ She lifted the top to the waffle-maker, only making the smell better. She smiled at the eager face Lexa was making. 

“How many you want?”

“Five.”

“I would ask you if you were serious, but we both know you are.” Clarke _booped_ her nose. 

Both of them chuckled hard. 

“What can I say, I love my wife’s cooking.” Lexa gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

Clarke’s skin blushed where Lexa’s lips were. 

“This is gonna take a while.”

* * *

 

Clarke fixed her shoes, then grabbed her car keys. 

“Lex, you ready?” She called out into the house. 

There was the familiar sound of footsteps, and a cane, “I’m here.”

Emerging from the downstairs bathroom with a small smile, Lexa was ready to go to Ikea. Both women stepped into the dark garage, and Lexa nearly tripped over one of the cardboard boxes holding their things. Thankfully the box was tall and heavy enough to hold her up. 

“You okay?” Clarke asked turning the garage light on and gently placing a hand on Lexa’s back. 

Her wife nodded. Like always, the blonde insisted on helping Lexa into the car like a gentlewoman, kissing her wife before closing the door. When she started up the car, the first thing Lexa did next to buckling up, was turning on the radio. She turned to the station they usually listened to. 

“ _ Ooh _ , since when did they start playing Evanescence?” 

Lexa shrugged. Clarke pulled out the driveway, then used the button to close the door again, pulling onto the road. 

_ “WAKE ME UP!” _

Lexa was first to scream. 

_ “WAKE ME UP INSIDE-“ _

_ “I  _ **_CAN’T_ ** _ WAKE UP!” _

_ “WAKE ME UP INSIDE!” _

_ “Sa--“  _ Lexa coughed and laughed, not realizing how much air and saliva screeching took. 

Clarke laughed with her, patting her back.

“You okay?”

The brunette nodded and took a sip from a nearby water bottle. She gave a thumbs up in confirmation. Christmas had come and gone as well without a hitch. Now they had to wait for new years. Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek causing the blonde to blush. 

“You’re so  _ beautiful _ .” Clarke murmured on Lexa’s lips as she turned to kiss her lips. 

“So are you.” 

Blue eyes somehow still managed to stay on the road. When they pulled apart, Lexa turned her eyes towards the radio. 

_ “...Thank you for listening to this station, Polis loves your support, and we are glad that you chose to listen to this station! Next up is Blue Kaleidoscope by Heda. Stay tuned, I showed this song to my girlfriend, and now she’s my wife!-”  _

Clarke smiled seeing the shocked expression on Lexa’s face. The song had been released a few months ago, but it was still going on strong. Clarke patted her back. 

“I’m so proud of you, babe.” She said smiling at the brunette who was still slightly wide-eyed. 

This was really unexpected to Lexa. Yeah, she knew it was doing pretty good. Two months after its release date, it was still going strong. Her twitter bio was still filled with so many positive comments about the song. 

Eventually, Clarke pulled onto the highway. 

“Thanks, Clarke.”

Her wife’s opinion mattered most to Lexa, mostly because the song was about her. She couldn’t resist all the times she would think about her, and she was so happy with her girl that she wanted everyone to know how perfect she was. 

_ “Turn left. You have arrived at your destination.” _

Everything that they were looking for was saved in the notes app on their phones. Both of them shared the list with each other. Clarke found a parking spot and turned off the car. She got out first, then helped Lexa out next. 

“You ready?”

The brunette nodded before giving Clarke a kiss on the cheek. Hand in hand, they walked into the big store. They went up to the escalator with a cart. Lexa immediately hopped on the first second she could, hanging onto the railing, as Clarke stood flush behind her, rolling the cart through the store, and its displays. 

They were moving to Europe sometime after the new year kicked in. After a few more conversations, the two came to an agreement that it was right for them. 

The home they were moving to was a bigger size than their soon-to-be-old one. It was lying in nothing  _ but _ woods. But it wasn’t too exiled from the rest of the small town where they resided in. There was still a grocery store and bakery less than a mile away. 

The home was split by a courtyard in the middle that was the ideal size for any barbecue events they would have with whatever new friends they would make overseas. On one side was the main entrance of the home that had their kitchen, living room and dining room. To the left of it, was the master bathroom, and on the second floor, the master bedroom. Parallel to that were the rest of the bedrooms and two additional bathrooms. Finishing the fourth side of the courtyard was their studios under one room, yet divided. 

They agreed that possible paint drops accidentally getting on a soundboard would not be fun. A few feet behind down a small stone and pebble trail was a natural pool. Both wives were excited about the change of setting. 

“See anything that might look good in the house?”

“You, but I’ve already got you.”

“Lex, I love you, but now’s not the time for pick-up lines when I’m the one who picks you up.”

“I-- did you just?” Lexa bumped her butt into Clarke’s front and both of them laughed at the realization that Clarke’s joke fit so well.

Lexa leaned her head back on Clarke’s shoulder and placed a kiss on her neck. 

After a short chuckle session, Lexa spoke again, “Okay, but seriously, probably some coffee tables or center tables for the living room. Closet organizers.” 

“Okay.” Clarke kissed her cheek and Lexa straightened out.

They went around the various hallways, and through the displays, finding what they were looking for. They would assemble their things in Paris. Hanging onto the cart, Lexa’s eyes were opened wide. They had notes on their phones, but after some thoughts, and looking through the store, they strayed away from it.        

“Maybe we should get chairs like those for our studios,” Lexa suggested, pointing out rolling office chairs. 

“They are pretty, but I prefer stools. You want it?” Clarke asked.

Lexa put her index finger out signaling for her to wait and sat in the chair, rolled on it, reclined in it and nodded. 

She spun around, chuckling a little, “The ones in my studio are pretty hard.”

“Okay, what’s it called?” Clarke took the pad and wrote down what was needed. 

“C ‘mon, baby.” Clarke pulled away slightly to let Lexa climb and hang onto the cart.

“Next is the kitchens.”

“I’ve always found them pretty and unrealistic,” Lexa said and received a nod from Clarke. 

The fact that a kitchen would stay perfect looking like the display was  _ utterly _ impossible. After a while, they both agreed that they had everything they needed. They put everything in the cart. Yes, Lexa too, but only the parts that weighed less. She didn’t want to aggravate her back. Clarke moved to return the cart. 

“Wait, I want to try something,” Lexa said, smiling harder. 

The blonde furrowed her brows as she made sure to push everything back before closing the trunk.  

“What do you wanna try, babe?” Clarke stopped and turned around. 

“Hop on.” Lexa got closer and dropped her cane off in the trunk of their car. 

Clarke did so, sitting down, and hanging on. Lexa took ahold of the handle and tried to run and roll Clarke around in the parking lot of Ikea. 

“What the hell? Be careful, Lexa.” 

Clarke was worried about maybe being too much weight for Lexa, but when she heard Lexa laughing, she thought she was okay. Lexa turned the cart around and nearly tipped it over.

“Oh  _ shit _ !” 

Both of them giggled like idiots. Lexa ran around the parking lot some more. They went into the parking garage, and whooped loudly, causing their sounds of excitement to echo around them. Lexa finally deemed it the right time to go back to the car. 

* * *

“Babe, we’re home.” Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand slightly and then kissed her cheek.

Lexa stirred as she opened her eyes in the passenger seat. In the short span of time, Clarke got out of her seat and went to Lexa’s side. 

“Hmm?”

“We’re home.” Clarke helped raise the seat back up for her. 

Lexa was still very tired and ready to go straight to bed. 

“Oh.”

Lexa got unbuckled and Clarke helped her out the car. It was late, and they would later have to pack their things in boxes to ship, so Clarke left the packages in the trunk. They spent all night at Ikea and eating at a restaurant. The time was nearing midnight, and the two of them were eager to end the day after spending it out. Lexa tried stretching her back only wincing.

“Let’s head to bed, ‘kay?”

Lexa nodded in agreement. She leaned down to kiss her wife on the lips. The two linked hands on their way into the house. Both of them slowly and tiredly changed into pajamas. Lexa went into the bathroom and removed her contacts, before slipping into bed with her wife. 

_ Fuck _ , now she couldn’t seem to get back to sleep. The bed was nice and warm and she had Clarke with her, but she just couldn’t get herself to sleep. 

“Clarke?” Lexa twirled her blonde hair.

“Hmm?”

“What do you think going to Paris will bring us? Like… how do you think our life will change?”

Clarke took Lexa in a warm embrace, “I’m not sure, I know it’ll be good, though.” 

“We’ll need to learn French.”

Clarke chuckled and nodded. However, their town was a few minutes away from the frequently visited city of Paris, so they would find some English speaking people surely. 

“And I’ll bring you lunch on the days you work,” Lexa added with a smile.

“And I could paint you around the house.”

Lexa kissed her cheek, “That’d be good. I could write songs around the place too. I love the bricks, it looks like the palaces in Game Of Thrones.”

“Me too.” 

“I can’t wait to fill that house with life, laughter, love.” 

Clarke nodded. Both of them were so excited to start the new chapter of their lives. Clarke would be the head Architect of The Ark thanks to what Kane offered for her if she went. Lexa had her studio at home, and she was looking at maybe finding a small hobby to the side to keep herself busy. She would miss getting to talk to their friends and families in person, but they could video-chat, and go visit. 

Surely living far would just become routine over time. They had each other, and to them, that mattered more. 

Lexa deeply inhaled the familiar scent of Clarke’s body, “Don’t forget music and art.” 

“We can do that easily.” Clarke nodded.

* * *

 

  
  


**A Week Later**

  
  


“Don’t let me go.” Clarke held onto Lexa’s hand like a lifeline

“Sweetheart, turbulence isn’t  _ that _ bad.”

Lexa was lying to herself, she was fucking scared, but two scared wives would not work well for the pilot. There needed to be one  _ not visually afraid _ woman to hang onto. Lexa lifted the armrest between her and Clarke’s seat and brought her wife close. Clarke wasn’t the only one freaking out. The way that the rest of the passengers clung to whatever available, made it look like the plane crash scene in the movie Madagascar 2. 

Lexa casually watched the movie on the screen.  _ Who the fuck is flying this plane? Why the fuck is no one stopping them? How the fuck are we not dead yet? And WHAT THE FUCK?  _

“Ooh, I never realized how much I missed watching…” Lexa gulped. “The Passion of Christ.”

When they arrived at the airport in Paris, Lexa felt so grateful. She wanted to get home with her wife before the jetlag kicked in. 

“We’re home,” Lexa said.

The blonde looked up at her wife and kissed her jawline.

“Lexa, I found _ home _ a couple of years back.  _ You. _ ” 

“You’re right, this is just the land our home is planted in. Together we can bring a sort of…  _ life _ here.”   
  



	19. Chapter 19

  
  


**March, 2026**

  
  


Clarke walked through the courtyard with Lexa in her arms. The two women admired the sounds of the water falling in the water fountain down in the pool. Clarke brought her wife into their shared studio building and sat her down on the window-ledge, seating her in front of the big window that offered a beautiful view of the woods. 

Clarke moved her wife’s limbs. Lexa went with it, not helping but smile at her wife’s focused look.

“What?” Clarke chuckled as she kissed Lexa’s cheek, a calf in her hand. 

“Nothing, you just look so cute when you get like that,” Lexa said. “All focused and artist-y and cute.”

Clarke blushed and set Lexa’s leg over the other. The brunette’s position was Lexa sitting on the ledge, an arm behind her keeping her up, and her other arm laid over her legs. Lexa was wearing a nice jade coloured satin nightgown with lace on the borders that ended just above her knees. 

“Look at me please?”

Clarke snapped the picture so that she wouldn’t make Lexa uncomfortable by making her sit there unmoving. Clarke snapped the photo and Lexa stood up. The blonde sat at her stool in front of her easel and a big canvas. Lexa sat next to her, as usual, admiring the process her wife went through for the finishing touches. Thankfully, Clarke was doing this painting with more than enough time on her hands, so she wasn’t in such a rush, which was good. 

There was more than enough time to make things as accurate as possible. 

Lexa put a hand on Clarke’s shoulder and kissed her cheek.

“I’m gonna play a few notes, ‘kay?”

“Okay.”

“ _ oKaY.” _ Lexa imitated her voice and gave her a kiss on the lips. 

Lexa opened the glass door and went into her own studio. She sat down in her seat, and turned on her keyboard, and chose the grand piano setting. Clarke grabbed one of her sketching pencils and set it on the ledge of her easel.

“Any requests?” Lexa called out from the other side.

Clarke paused right as she picked up her pencil. 

“Anything you want, baby.”  _ I just wanna hear your voice.  _

The blonde saw Lexa nod from the glass that separated their studios. Clarke put the pencil on the canvas and began sketching. There was a moment when she was in a trance because of Lexa’s singing and the picture she had to work with. This woman was _ her wife, _ and she would never have it any other way. She began with Lexa’s head and face. 

Lexa had begun playing a song that both of them recognized. Clarke met eyes with her through the glass as Lexa smiled at her.

With a grin, Lexa spoke, “I love you!”

“I love you too!” Clarke couldn’t help but smile wide seeing Lexa’s smile. “You’re seriously so beautiful!”

Lexa bowed her head down and blushed.

“No, _ you _ are.” She lifted her head up. “Okay, sweetheart, I’m gonna start.”

Clarke nodded. She was finishing up Lexa’s nose when the brunette began singing.

 

_ “ _ _ Come up to meet you _

_ Tell you I'm sorry _

_ You don't know how lovely you are _

_ I had to find you _

_ Tell you I need you _

_ Tell you I set you apart _

 

_ Tell me your secrets _

_ And ask me your questions _

_ Oh let's go back to the start _

_ Running in circles, coming up tails _

_ Heads on a science apart…” _

 

Clarke sighed with a smile wide on her face.  _ She’s so perfect.  _ Clarke couldn’t help but admire her girlfriend as she sang her heart out. It was hard for her to solely concentrate on the piece in front of her when Lexa’s voice was taking her attention. 

 

_ “I was just guessing at numbers and figures _

_ Pulling your puzzles apart _

_ Questions of science, science, and progress _

_ Do not speak as loud as my heart _

 

_ Tell me you love me _

_ Come back and haunt me _

_ Oh and I rush to the start _

_ Running in circles, chasing our tails _

_ Coming back as we are…” _

 

Clarke moved her hands to start on Lexa’s eye. The brunette flowed the song straight into another one. The sliding glass door that split the two halves of the studio was opened, so they could converse and hear each other perfectly fine. 

Clarke focused on the shape of her wife’s eyes. She zoomed in on her wife’s eyes and began drawing out the main shape of it. Lexa looked through the glass and noticed the smile of sheer concentration in her wife’s face. She stopped singing and instead played some instrumentals. Clarke leaned in closer to the canvas and was in her own world. 

Even Lexa knew not to bother her when she looked that concentrated. Respectfully, Lexa slightly lowered the volume. When Clarke finished that eye, she began on the next one. Lexa loved the little pucker of Clarke’s lips. In her part of the studio, she had a bin with candy. 

She took out a bonbon bum that Raven had brought back to them after visiting her mother in Colombia. She took off the wrapping and stuck it in her mouth. She got up and sat next to Clarke. The blonde turned to her and kissed the side of her head. Lexa offered her a lick of her red lollipop. 

Clarke smiled and swiped her tongue. By now, Clarke moved on to Lexa’s lips. Her goal with them was to make them look the way the felt. 

“Do you enjoy yoga, Lex?” Clarke asked trying to subside the pregnant silence in the studio. 

Lexa nodded, the lollipop was in her mouth. She decided not to speak of the time her arms gave up when she was attempting the downward dog.

The brunette pulled the candy and offered it to Clarke as she swallowed to answer, “I got the stiffness part right.” 

Clarke chuckled and returned the lollipop to Lexa.

“It doesn’t hurt you, does it?”

“Not really… well, _ not  _ a lot. But I like it.”

But Lexa had to admit, she could move better. There was more range in her hips and she could lift her leg more than four inches off the ground. 

“How are you taking up French?” Lexa raised her brow playfully.

Clarke chuckled and hid her face as she blushed. 

“Wanna know the  _ only _ thing I know?” Clarke asked and Lexa looked up with wide eyes, silently saying  _ yes _ . “Je t’aime.”

That was one of the phrases Lexa was trying to get right first, so she knew without a doubt what it meant. 

“I love you too, Clarke.” Lexa cupped Clarke’s face and pulled her down for a kiss.  

When they pulled away, the blonde pecked a kiss to her forehead and continued sketching. She worked on Lexa’s neck and clavicle part of her chest. The brunette continued eating the candy and rested her head against Clarke’s shoulder. The blonde moved her shoulder, and let Lexa rest her head against her chest. The precision Clarke had was something Lexa didn’t want to miss.

Sure, it was awkward to see an  _ eerily _ accurate drawing of her on the canvas, but Lexa loved seeing how the blonde interpreted her. A part of her wished she could draw or paint, she would’ve sat next to Clarke and painted her wife as well, so that her picture would have company on the wall as well as she did in person. All she could do was hum gently enough for just the two of them to hear.  

 

_ “A blonde’s hair may be as gold as the sun, _

_ But my blonde’s personality is as fiery as its rays, _

_ Trust me _

_ This symphony will never fathom _

_ How gentle her kisses feel _

_ Suddenly I’m addicted to flame…” _

 

_ I want this to feel just like she sounds, beautiful _ , Clarke thought to herself. Often, Lexa would sing her originals to Clarke in gentle moments like these. Moments with just her and her wife. 

 

_ “Suddenly I love the sight of her at the line of the horizon, _

_ Suddenly I don’t run from her, _

_ Suddenly I’m addicted to her around me _

_ Suddenly she’s a drug with blue kaleidoscopes in her eyes…” _

 

Clarke worked on her body, not paying much attention to the shimmer of Lexa’s lingerie until she put oil paints to the canvas. (Which wasn’t quite yet). Lexa hummed the melody that led into the bridge and hummed the rest of the song. 

_ “Klark, je t’aime _ so much, sweetheart.”

“Je t’aime aussi, babe.” Clarke pecked a kiss to the top of her head.

“Unfortunately, that seems to be the only phrase we know.”

Clarke laughed with her.

“And it’s the best phrase because I can let you know how much I love you in one more language.” The blonde said with a big smile.

“I’ve never thought of it that way, but…  _ yeah.” _

The brunette smiled wide. When she felt Clarke’s right arm behind her back, and her left hand dropped her pencil to cup the side of Lexa’s face. Lexa’s heart thumped loudly against her ribcage, and her stomach fluttered relentlessly as she looked into her wife’s eyes.  _ God, how does she make me feel like this? _ Lexa put her hand over Clarke’s and tilted her head to the side. 

Clarke smiled wide to her wife and pecked her lips.

* * *

 

“Hey, Lex, wanna dance with me?” Clarke asked.

They had been in the studio for two hours. Both women lost a sense of time. When their stomachs began to rumble and Clarke cooked up some dinner for the two of them. (Dinner itself took almost an hour to eat because the two of them couldn’t stop playing around). 

“Clarke, I stopped playing music, though.”

Clarke raised her brow and took Lexa’s hands, “I can turn on music.”  

Lexa put both of her arms to rest on her wife’s shoulders, as Clarke wrapped her arms around her hips. Clarke kissed her lips.

“Hey, Alexa.”

The device made its classic noise. 

“Play…” Clarke trailed off thinking of something. 

“Wild Love by Elle King.” Lexa finished.  

The device answered. 

“You do know you’re taking the lead with this, right? I don’t know shit about dancing.” 

Clarke chuckled and nodded against her chest.

“I’ve got you.” Clarke insisted kissing her lips.

The brunette smiled and just went with Clarke’s steps, paying attention to her feet. They swayed side to side.

“C’ mon, Lex, this is upbeat, move, put some energy in there.”

Lexa only laughed.

“I should have laid off on the extra sugar in your coffee.” Lexa chuckled to herself. 

“It’s kinda tight in here, Lex, c’ mon!” 

Clarke restarted the song, turned the volume up on the device, and opened the back doors of the main building, going out into the courtyard. Clarke jumped about and twirled, and Lexa was so hypnotized by her wife she chuckled. 

“Lexa, c’ mon!”

 

_ “Love is a kiss _

_ Love is a risk _

_ Love might be our redemption, woah _

_ Love is on time _

_ Love is not blind _

_ Love might be our addiction, woah _

 

_ Let's make some noise _

_ Give it away _

_ You call me craze _

_ That's why you stay, oh…” _

 

Clarke took Lexa’s hands and bounced with her. For a few seconds, Lexa chuckled at her. Soon enough, she quickly shifted her weight to the tips of her toes. (Her new form of jumping). She smiled wide, and ditched her cane, wildly swinging their arms around, and spinning. 

 

_ “Ooh, baby for the fun of it _

_ La, la, la, la, la, la, love you all day like _

_ Takes love to know love, doesn’t it _

_ Maybe we should love for the fun of it…” _

 

Lexa laughed and couldn’t help but feel excited and extremely in the moment with her wife. She even loosened up a bit. Her legs weren’t as stiff as they were when walking. Clarke kissed her full on the lips after the song was done.  _ I wanna do that again. _

“I wanna do that again?”

“What the dancing or kissing?” Clarke asked.

“Both.” Lexa smiled against her lips as she leaned in for another kiss. 

The requested Party Rock Anthem and basically shredded the courtyard.

* * *

 

  
  


**April, 2026**

  
  


Clarke held her wife close. 

“I  _ love _ it, Clarke.”

The portrait of Lexa hung in the hall at the entrance of the house. Now anyone who walked into the house would see Lexa (the artwork) before Lexa (in the blood, bone and flesh). Everything was scarily accurate. The depth of Lexa’s tanned cheekbones; the smirk of her plump, cherry flavoured lips; emerald eyes that pierced you beautifully; legs that went on endlessly; arms that felt perfect resting on her waist, or just above her shoulders; a nice fit figure that looked like the statue of a goddess, but was so soft to the touch. Clarke had done a perfect job.  

Still, Lexa felt that she shouldn’t be alone on the wall. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” Clarke broke the happy silence. 

“What?” 

“You won’t be alone on that wall for long.” Was what Clarke said before kissing her proud on the lips.

From the other side of the screen door, Lexa heard familiar chatting and laughter of children. 

“The kids are back, Clarke,” Lexa said excitedly. 

The wives sat out on the front porch to greet the children. The blonde ran into the driveway and ran up to hug Clarke.

“Hello, Lexa!” he greeted excitedly, then hugging her. 

“Hi, Clem!” both women greeted.

Their neighbor was a social five-year-old that had dark blonde hair, and a brown and blue eye. They met him when Lexa got lost wandering around town and Clement got lost during a game of soccer on the street. Both of them agreed to help each other find the neighborhood. In exchange, Clement would teach them French, while they would teach him English. His English was pretty good but broken slightly.

_ “Did you enjoy school?” _ Lexa asked in French.

“Yes!”

Both women chuckled and laughed. 

“And my teacher show us-- um…” he stopped to try to find the right word. “ _Muzak_."

“Music?” Lexa asked.

He nodded, a big smile on his face. 

“And I think  _ you _ .” he pointed at Lexa. 

The brunette smiled, “Aww.”

“Mrs. Clarke, do you music too?”

Clarke shook her head ‘no’, “I can’t play  _ la musique.  _ I do  _ art _ .”

“Oh. I like you hair today!”

“Thank you, lad.”

“Welcome!”

They enjoyed having a young presence in their home. That was just a sense of life they couldn’t bring other than love. _ At least not yet.  _   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapters I posted a sort of filler chapters so sorry if they don't seem that thought out or organized.
> 
> Also, I'm gonna be caught up with finals for a few days/weeks (two at most). When I come back I might return with a few chapters. See you guys then & have a good summer if you are in high school.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back ya'll ; )

  
  


**September, 2026**

  
  


**Clarke: ily baby. I’ll see you when you get home.**

 

**Lexa: Okay. I love you too sweetheart.**

 

**Clarke: I know I haven’t seen your costume yet, but ik you’re gonna look hot**

 

**Lexa: lmfao clarke ily and ive gotta go**

 

**Clarke: ok ilyt**

 

Lexa had to be in the  _ heart _ of Paris soon. She along with a few other queer artists were going to be shooting in full warrior gear for a magazine. She was looking forward to it. Especially since she was fitted for her armor. However, she wanted to surprise Clarke with how she would look in it, with full makeup and all. 

Lexa had to admit that she was excited about this as well. Clarke had already gone to work before the sun got up. She took a train, as usual, leaving the car for Lexa. The brunette got dressed in some jeans, a shirt, and a light jacket. By the time Lexa got out of the house to leave, schoolchildren were on their way to school as well. 

_ “Au revoir, Clem!”  _ She called out from the car door, giving the first grader a wave. 

“Bye, Lexa. Say hi to Clarke!” He waved back with a smile on his face.

“I will,” she replied.

Clement followed the other neighborhood kids down the long street into town for school. Lexa made sure to drive cautiously. The brunette rapidly blinked, adjusting her eye contacts. The screen on the car’s dashboard went off. Because Lexa was not looking she assumed that maybe it was Clarke, she answered while trying to make the contact more comfortable.

“Hey, babe.”

_ “ _ **_Woah_ ** _ , that’s some sweet southern Alabama pride you got there.” _ Aden’s voice said.

Lexa gasped and chuckled to herself, “Sorry, Ade.”

_ “‘Ts fine. How are you, Big sister?” _

Lexa adjusted the heater slightly, “Good.” 

_ “That’s good.” _

Lexa began pulling out of the driveway. 

“How late is it there?”

_ “What do you mean  _ **_late_ ** _? It’s two in the morning here. Baby gay, it’s early.” _

Lexa’s brows raised, “Then why are you calling me?”

_ Okay, Lex, tone it down, both of you are adults now. _

_ “Because I can’t sleep.” _

“Oh, I see this is like the old days, hmm?” Lexa teased.

Growing up, there were many nights when the two of them would find themselves huddled up outside their parents’ closed bedroom door in the middle of the night. She drove down the street, towards the building in the heart of Paris. It took her a while to comprehend the signs. 

_ “Lexa, I need help,”  _ Aden said quickly.

(To be honest, to Lexa, it sounded like he had been holding that in since they started talking).

Confused, Lexa asked, “What is it?”

_ “Girls.” _

The woman couldn’t help but chuckle, “Wow…” Another sliver of laughter. “Who are we talking about in particular?”

_ “You don’t know her, but anyways, she’s a redhead, but her hair’s not that red, and she’s got nice eyes--” _

“Are they blue?” The brunette interrupted. 

_ “Blue?” _

Aden sounded slightly, if not totally confused.  _ What the hell do blue eyes have to do with her? _ He thought. 

His older sister reiterated, “Yeah, you heard me right.”

_ “No, they’re hazel.” _

_ I’ve lost interest. _ Lexa heard her brother give a nice Shakespeare rendition of this girl he liked. In fact, she couldn’t help but smile. 

_ “...and I know that if I tell mom, she’s gonna start planning our wedding. And I just-- she’s attractive and all, but I don’t wanna-- I don’t know. What if she’s not…  _ **_the one_ ** _?”  _ Aden stopped talking dramatically.

“Um, what does your  _ heart _ say?”

_ “That she’s hot.” _

_ Jesus, these men are so shallow.  _ Lexa turned the corner and began looking for the building. 

“Okay, Aden, I get it, you said a whole bunch of descriptive words for ‘pretty’ already. What does your heart say?” She emphasized the last part of her sentence more aggressively.

_ “Um, that I look forward to passing by her when I go to class. I look for her in the bleachers every time I have a game. That I care  _ **_too much_ ** _ about her...” _

Lexa pulled into the parking garage, and the spots were almost all taken. 

“Here’s a tip, Aden. Ask her out, and you get to see her every day, talk to her, and if you get lucky, she can meet up with you before class to talk, you can see her at your games,  _ everything _ , man.”

Lexa said a few more encouraging words to her brother and afterward, Aden seemed pretty happy and encouraged.

“Thanks, sis.”

“You’re welcome. -- _ Also _ , how is Madi doing with her boyfriend?”

_ “Oh, you’re gonna  _ **_love_ ** _ this! Okay, so I went home for labor day weekend as usual. Papa and I had plans. I see mom as soon as I walk in the door… yada yada yada, and she tells me to go say hi to Madi. I walk---” _

Lexa interrupted again, “Aden, speed this up.”  __

_ “Okay, so I walk in and your sister was trying to force the poor guy into a pair of her tight ass leggings!” _

Lexa gagged, “Oh my god.”

She tried to do the math to see how that was possible. Especially with two nosey parents.

_ “My thoughts exactly, I know that has to be a ball-buster.” _

Lexa broke out into full laughter with Aden. In the process, a few of Aden’s roommates woke up. 

_ “Like, I don’t think that’s necessary if you have seven and a half inches. And I ran out, and got in the car, and told Papa to get in the car.” _

“Aden, that’s  _ so _ mean!” Lexa retorted. _ “I  _ wanted to be the one to do that.”

But chances were, Lexa would never let her hear the end of it. Low and behold, there was a parking spot that Lexa practically slammed the gas on to get. 

“Anyways, I’ve got work, Aden. Talk to you later. Bye.”

_ “Bye.” _

Aden hung up and then Lexa grabbed her cane and got out the car. Lately, Lexa felt like she could easily move and bend her legs when it came to walking. The pain and heaviness were still there, but it felt a bit better and easier for her to move. The brunette locked the car and began walking towards the entrance of the building. 

_ “Heda.” _

Lexa looked around. The acoustics in the lobby made sound resonate from almost all areas. 

“I’m right here, ma’am.” The woman strode right up to her, head held high, chest puffed out (although Lexa felt like the woman was doing those things on purpose). 

_ Maybe it’s her job, Lexa, you don’t need to announce that you’ve got a wife quite yet. Relax.  _ The woman looked young and was dressed professionally, especially for the type of environment. She held her hand out. Lexa gave her two firm shakes and a closed mouth smile. 

“My name is, Diane. I can show you to the studio.” she introduced.

Lexa answered politely, “Thank you.”

* * *

 

Clarke managed the bus rides well (as usual) to get to work. The second she got to the building on her first day, Kane seemed to have sent word to The Ark that Clarke was the head architect. Everyone welcomed her well for the most part. Except for Josephine who was the absolute  _ bane  _ of Clarke’s existence, and full attitude. The girl tossed her hair and smacked her gum every time she spoke to Clarke, and the blonde took her as serious as a teenager, regardless of the fact that her father was the manager of the building. 

The girl was just an easy tester for whatever was made at The Ark, and was frequently at the building ironically right when test rides needed to be done. And don’t even get her started on this girl’s loud flirting towards her, even after Clarke expressed that she was married. She even tried baiting Lexa but it didn’t work. The couple made it a point to make out every time they were around her. All the architects (including Clarke) were scheduled for a meeting together. 

“Okay so as we  _ pretty much  _ already know, Paris is growing. And along with that, are a lot of stores, malls, you name it.” She pulled out her iPad and went to the notes.  “Russell said that an assignment has come up for us.”

There were sounds of intrigue in the meeting hall.  

“My thoughts exactly.” The blonde said with a smile. “We’re not in the ’80s, so we must come up with something that will be timeless.” Clarke coughed. “Glass.”

_ “Glass? _ It’ll break easily!” Josephine was standing at the doorway eating an apple like she was some type of royalty. 

All the architects looked at her like she was doing something illegal. They too had pretty much been at their wit's end with her. 

“Um… Josephine, your father isn’t here right now. Sorry to inconvenience you.” Clarke said firmly. “If you have any problems, he’s the one to state them to.”

The other blonde scoffed and squinted her eyes, “I mean, glass is gonna break, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Um, we’re not using glass that is used for cups, we’re using a tougher kind.” Miller retorted like it was obvious, (which it pretty much was.) “And you’re not even experienced in this how da--”

Clarke held her hand out.

“Enough. Now, Josephine, if you see an issue with any of this, just know that these notes were given to me by your father himself. He even forwarded them to me.”

Josephine basically shrunk and left the room after giving a sassy  _ hmph. _

“She’s highkey lowkey a bitch,” Miller mumbled under his breath.

Clarke wanted to express her agreement but kept her bearings. 

“In continuation, it is up to us to come up with designs….”

* * *

 

“Am I even holding this right?” Lexa asked holding the sword up. 

Right when they got to the town square where some pictures would be taken, Lexa was handed a katana sword. She had never felt so,  _ badass _ . 

“It’s fine Lexa. Quick question, are you able to jump or not?” Dante asked. 

Her brows furrowed at the question.  _ Jump? _ “Did you just say ‘jump’?”

Dante nodded.  _ I could try.  _

“Yeah, I think I can.”

_ You better not end up breaking something, Lexa. _

* * *

 

One step into the bakery, all eyes were on Lexa. The brunette ignored and went up to the counter where Niylah was.

“Wow, Lexa, what’s with the costume. Is it dragon-con?” Niylah looked her up and down.

The brunette shook her head, “Oh no, no, no.” She reassured with a small chuckle. “Just a project. You’ll see later. Can I get the usual, please?”

The blonde gave her a friendly smile, “I’ll be back.”

Lexa made it back to the car, eager to see her wife. The brunette was at a stop sign when a car horn went off. She turned around slightly annoyed since it was a stop sign. The man next to her rolled down his car window. Lexa rolled hers down. 

“Êtes-vous dans le jeu des trônes?” He asked. 

Lexa furrowed her brows.

“You American?” His accent gave away that he was a native English speaker. 

The brunette nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Oh, well you should have said. I asked you if you were into Game of Thrones. I saw the costume and I couldn’t help but ask.” 

“Oh I haven’t seen a single episode, but my wife did watch,” Lexa said.

The man chuckled, “My husband sat on me and I had no choice but to sit and watch eight seasons of incest, war, and a lowkey good show.” 

Both of them conversed while the tram in front of them passed. 

“What’s your name?”

“Jackson. Yours?”

“Lexa.”

The two moved to shake hands but realized they were in two separate vehicles. 

“Well Lexa, you and your wife seem to be the only Americans living in Europe that I've seen so far. It’s only appropriate that we keep in touch.”

“Of course.” 

The brunette was also astonished that this man wasn’t flailing his arms around screaming  _ Heda.  _

“I’ll airdrop a screenshot of my number to you,” Lexa suggested. 

Jackson nodded, turning on his phone. That was the time Lexa found one of their close friends in Europe. Finding people that spoke their native language wasn’t easy. If they did at all, it was just tourists. The tram and several other cars already passed, and Lexa and Jackson went their separate ways to their spouses.

* * *

 

Lexa got home at about two thirty-ish o’ clock. 

Clement was walking back to his house when he saw Lexa.

“Wow. You look nice. Like…  _ fighter!” _ the little boy said excitedly. 

The younger blonde was curious about seeing his neighbor and friend in such a costume. He himself was a fan of soldiers. 

Lexa chuckled and smiled, “Merci, Clement!”

“Can…” he pointed to himself. “See it?”

Lexa nodded and met him halfway. He came to a skidding stop and his eyes widened seeing the details. He pointed up at her face paint. 

“You like that?”

He nodded. 

“It’s cool.” he insisted. 

“Did you have a good day?” Lexa asked as he tossed her cape.

He nodded, “We play!”

“That sounds like fun,” Lexa said scruffing his hair making him laugh. 

A voice from down the street called for him. 

“I have to go, bye.”

“Bye.”

He adjusted his backpack on his shoulder, smiled wide, and waved ‘bye’ as he continued to his house. Lexa waved back and continued to the front door. When she entered her house, a tsunami of flavors hit her nose.  _ Clarke’s definitely home.  _ She still had her costume on, so she was eager to see her wife’s reaction. 

At the sound of the door closing, she heard footsteps getting closer. Clarke stopped in front of her and her eyes widened, and her mouth gaped. 

“Niylah said hi,” Lexa said.

All Clarke could muster was a “Woah.” 

Her wife smiled, and grabbed the cape giving a little spin, “You like it, love?”

The blonde nodded and circled her, “You look so…  _ chaud, sexy, dur à cuire _ , baby.”

Lexa blushed and chuckled.

“Sweetheart, I didn’t understand a word before ‘baby’.” Lexa cupped her face as she came back around her and gave her a sweet kiss.

“Sorry, I-- you just look so good in this.” Clarke swiped her thumb over Lexa’s cheek and kissed her lips again. 

Clarke never imagined Lexa would look like this. Her wife looked so…  _ different _ , but in a good way. Lexa looked so bad-ass, brave, and strong. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” 

“I was just making something to eat,” Clarke said. “But it’ll take a while because I just started.”

Lexa nodded. She looked at her wife up and down and noticed how her business blouse had one too many buttons undone. She looked back up at Clarke’s darkened eyes. Lexa’s eardrums felt like they were being hit over and over. Lexa snaked her hands to her wife’s waist and brought her close. 

Clarke silently gasped. Lexa kissed the top of her head and looked into her eyes as she played with the lining of her blouse.  _ Fuck.  _ Heat was rising to her neck and ears, and the rest of her body felt weak and clammy for Clarke. Clarke was pretty sure that her underwear was never gonna be usable after today. 

“Lex, I want to, but I’m tired,” Clarke said quietly.

“It’s okay, plus, no one downstairs is quite getting the memo, yet.” Lexa insisted that it was okay. 

Clarke nodded, “But yeah, you look  _ stunning _ in that outfit.” 

Seeing her Clarke like that 

“I’m gonna change out of it, and take off this face paint, and I’ll be  _ right  _ back.” Lexa said before kissing the top of her head. 

Before Lexa went to their bedroom, she handed her wife the bag of pastries. 

“I’ll be back,” Lexa said. 

When she got back, Lexa hugged Clarke from behind. 

_ “So… _ how was work, sweetheart?” Lexa asked in a sing-songy tone. 

“Eh, it’s the same.” Clarke shrugged, “Russell assigned us a new assignment.”

“How’d the last one go?” Lexa nestled her face in her wife’s neck, making Clarke smile and rest her head against hers. 

“It was good, and Russell said that we’ve been improving.”

“Of course you guys are, you’re on the team.” Lexa pinched Clarke’s cheek causing her wife to give out an infectious laugh. “Has Josephine been being a bitch again?”

_ “Oh _ , don’t even get me started on her. But I did have to kick her out of a meeting.” Clarke said adding all the chopped vegetables into the pan. 

“I bet it was hot. Especially with you all business-like.” Lexa kissed her cheek. “And all chef-like. I really hit the jackpot with you, huh?”

Clarke chuckled and kissed her hard, “We both did, Lexa.”

* * *

 

Clarke held her wife close as they sat and watched tv together. Lexa sat up, straddling her wife’s hips. 

“What are you up to, Lex?” Clarke asked with a smug smirk. 

Her wife said nothing. The only answer she got was a cute face Lexa was making, hinting at something devious she had up her sleeve. 

_ “Lexa.”  _

The brunette kissed her lips, and Clarke relaxed a little. That was when Lexa began tickling her and both of them erupted in a fit of laughs. Lexa knew what she was doing, so she strategically aimed for the ribs. Clarke began crying of laughter. 

“What the hell, Lexa?” She threw her head back and tried to dodge the long fingers. 

Eventually, Clarke got her back by tickling her stomach. Lexa let out a squeal. The brunette’s face began to turn red. 

“Oh my god!” She only tickled her wife’s ribs harder. 

The tickle fight went on and on. Lexa stopped and got off of Clarke, speed-walking away with her cane. 

“Alexandria, I will catch you!”

“Give me five seconds before you chase me, please!” 

The brunette made it into the courtyard and hid behind the wall. As promised, Clarke waited five seconds before going out into the courtyard. Lexa snuck up on her and poked her with her cane. 

“Hey!” 

Lexa nearly forgot that she discarded her prop sword on the fountain, so Clarke got it.

“Now it’s fair game.”

_ “Feisty.”  _

Then Lexa came up with an idea. 

“Clarke, you’re holding it wrong, and you’ll end up hurting yourself.” Lexa pointed out.

Clarke came towards her, “How?”

Lexa fixed the hold she had on the handle of the sword, then tickled her wife right in the ribs. 

“Oh, it’s _on,_ babe!” 

Clarke held the sword out as a form of defense, while Lexa held out her cane, and circled her. 

“Loser gets tickled.”

“No, um, wouldn’t it just be more convenient if the loser got attacked with love and kisses?” Lexa asked, raising her voice an octave. 

Clarke smirked at her getting closer. 

_ “Fine,  _ but only because I love you.”

“I love you too, Clarke.”

In between the sappiness, Lexa managed to knock the fake sword from Clarke’s hand. While Clarke gasped in disbelief, Lexa went up to her and kissed her hard. Unexpectedly, she attacked Clarke with tickles again.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today. It's not extremely rare, but yeet.

  
  


**December 12, 2026**

  
  


They had been married a year. Although it felt like forever in a good way. A  _ perfect, beautiful _ way. When she woke up, she stayed in bed with her wife, running her fingers through her long brown waves, admiring her in her sleeping state.  _ I’ve been married to this wonderful woman for a year.  _

A smile displayed on her face when she thought of that. Clarke knew from the second that she kissed Lexa, that their lips felt like a key against each other. She couldn’t imagine herself with any other person. She loved Lexa for Lexa and only that. There was something about her when they met that had her on her heels for more. 

Lexa stirred slightly, and Clarke stilled, holding her breath, looking on to see if her wife would or wouldn’t wake up. Lexa only slightly turned her weight and softly sighed. The blonde sighed in her head. Her hand found itself back in her hair. Eventually, it lowered down to Lexa’s jaw, where she rubbed her thumb over the corner of Lexa’s lips, just barely. 

“I love you,” Clarke whispered, moving a strand of hair from her face. 

The corners of Lexa’s mouth curved up, “I love you too, Clarke.”

Both of them were anticipating this day with eagerness, it wasn’t even funny anymore. Lexa opened her emerald eyes and they smiled harder than her mouth. They leaned in and kissed long and gently. There was no rush to it. 

In their own world, they had forever. 

Clarke slipped her tongue into her mouth and lightly rubbed her thumb on her cheekbones. She sighed into the nice action dreamily. They pulled away, and Clarke couldn’t help but slowly and gently pepper Lexa’s face with butterfly kisses. And her wife couldn’t help but blush and smile.

“One full year,” Clarke whispered, looking into her eyes. 

“And an eternity more to go.” Lexa added.

Clarke smiled hard at that addition. 

“What do you want to make for breakfast?” The blonde asked. 

“Um…” Lexa looked up thinking about something. 

In all of their previous anniversaries, they usually made breakfast together, and one of them got to treat them for lunch, and the other for dinner, and then a movie, or sex, or whatever they wanted to, to end the night. Today was their day, and they planned to make their way of celebrating it better over time.

* * *

 

“You did  _ not.” _

“Oh, I _ did _ .” Lexa said giving her wife’s hand a gentle squeeze, then craning her head down to kiss her cheek. “Happy anniversary, Clarke.” 

Clarke’s expression remained. Her eyes were wide, her mouth was agape (turning upwards into a smile); she looked pleasantly surprised and it was very evident. This made Lexa excited to see what Clarke came up with for dinner. The man rowing the boat urged them in. 

“I’ll take your hand,  _ Madame.” _ He offered his hand out. 

“You go first, Lex.” Clarke said.

_ “Me? _ Why me? You go first, I’m the one taking you on this date.” Lexa insisted, urging Clarke forward, closer to the edge of the dock. 

The young man in the boat came forward taking Clarke’s hand and then helping her in. Clarke smiled, although it was slightly shaky due to how much she was trembling with excitement. When it was Lexa’s turn to get in, noticing the cane, he put both hands under her arms and carefully helped her in. 

“Thank you, sir.”

“No problem, madame, please, both of you, sit!” The guy insisted cheerily.

Seriously, both women agreed that nearly all French people had infectious attitudes. Everyone was nice. Definitely, more manners than most Americans do all together. 

They had the whole canal boat to themselves. After some searching, Lexa finally found a boat that did tours around most of the city, and she knew that together, she and Clarke hadn’t had the time to fully discover their new hometown. The young man urged them to the second floor of the boat where it was nicely decorated.

“Oh Lexa, you really didn’t have to.” Clarke said breathlessly admiring everything.

The brunette reached out her hand and held onto Clarke’s tight. Clarke brought her into a tight hug. 

Lexa felt slightly awkward being taller than Clarke at times. And for some reason, this was one of those times. But height aside, Lexa was glad that Clarke was enjoying the excursion. 

“I love you, Lexa.” Clarke whispered looking up and kissing her lips. 

“Me too, Clarke.” The brunette said, “We should sit.” Lexa gently ushered Clarke with her hand against the small of her back.  

Clarke nodded, moving. There was a nice table set up at the end of the balcony. Big enough for everything they would be eating. 

“Shall I will get you ladies started with some wine?” He asked.

“Please.” Both of them answered at the same time. 

He smiled wide.  _ The energy the dude has I-- _ She took Clarke’s hands over the table and rubbed her thumb over it. There was an admiring look on Lexa’s face that just said  _ I love you _ without a word needing to be exchanged.

* * *

 

“Isn’t this great?” Clarke asked pouring some tea.

“Yep.” Lexa tried to take a large swig of the tea to be playful but nearly burned her mouth. 

Clarke chuckled taking a bite of whatever snacks they had spread all over the bed. The movie of choice was Mr. & Mrs. Smith and both women were in nothing but underwear and bras and blankets. Clarke actually took them to a restaurant that had a nice view of the Eiffel Tower. Lexa appreciated it very much. And Clarke appreciated the nice boat ride and lunch.

Lexa’s phone rang and she huffed. It was right before she took another sip of tea.

“Fuck, it’s my mom.” Lexa huffed. 

She switched her phone to silence. The woman knew it was her anniversary today, so Lexa wasn’t sure why she was calling. In fact, she was  _ highly _ unsure. On the third ring, Clarke turned to her.

“It must be important.”

After another ring, Lexa answered.

“Mother.”

_ “Hello, you two! I don’t want to keep you from your festivities, but married woman to married woman, happy anniver-- am I on speaker? Put me on speaker!”  _

A few seconds were taken for Lexa to give Clarke that  _ look. _ The blonde smirked at her. Lexa’s mother was nice but sometimes too over the top, and wanted to know every and everything. Yet at the same time, she appreciated it, because the conversation flowed much better than with her own mother. She was glad to be on a mutual standing with Mrs. Woods. 

_ “Am I on speaker!? Am I--” _

_ “Yes, _ mom, you’re on speaker.” Lexa said slightly annoyed.

(She didn't understand why her mother was yelling straight into the phone when she assured her that she could hear her well every time they called).

_ “Oh good.  _ **_Happy anniversary!!!_ ** _ ” _

Both women’s eyes expanded and the louder volume the woman managed to reach. There was a faint  _ Anastasia  _ in the background which sounded to be Alexander. 

“Dad?” Lexa said looking to Clarke and shrugging.

_ “Hello, you two, happy anniversary I hope you enjoyed your day and keep enjoying it. I love you both, and I expect you two to come visit soon.” _

“Okay, thanks.” Both of them answered.

Eventually, Anastasia managed to cram in a few more (extremely loud) words before the call ended. Sometimes Lexa wondered why her parents couldn’t be normal and not over the top, and maybe had just sent a message like the rest of their friends and family members. But at the same time, it was nice to hear their voices. Living on a completely different continent was nice, but they still missed everyone else they left back in The States as well. 

Lexa set her tea aside and held Clarke close.  _ Please, always stay close. _ Lexa nuzzled her face in. Her wife’s neck. 

“Lex, that tickles.”

* * *

 

  
  


**December 24, 2026**

  
  


Their home had been completely decked out in Christmas ornaments. At night, Lexa was on a mission to put as many mistletoes around the house as possible. It took  _ several _ nights since she managed to hang them just about almost everywhere. Clarke wasn’t complaining. She took nearly  _ every _ moment she could to give Lexa any form of affection whether there was a plant above their heads or not. 

In that time as well, the two paid extra close attention to each other. Getting a gift for your spouse isn’t an easy task, because the two wanted the gifts to be perfect. Clarke’s gift to Lexa was something she felt would be just right. Knowing absolutely  _ dirt _ about music, Clarke had to see what Lexa liked, and just  _ go  _ from there. Which was why she was basically breaking her back to keep Lexa  _ out  _ of the garage, and she called up their new friends, Miller and Jackson to move it down to the Christmas tree. 

The couple insisted it wasn’t a big deal, and that they would do anything for their friends. Right after dinner and moving Lexa’s gift, they set off back home. The gift Lexa chose for Clarke was something she hoped Clarke would use. Her wife was good at art, and she took great pictures on her phone and tablet, but Lexa wanted to give her something better to work with. (Plus, she saw excessive amounts of cameras on Clarke’s Instagram explore page, and her wife liked nearly  _ every _ post). 

It was also time to be hanging more pictures in the walls, so Lexa felt it was just perfect. The irony of the situation was that their gifts would be something that the other would admire them using. When Lexa was putting up mistletoes, she didn’t think that the fear would outweigh the fun. The brunette must’ve assembled the ladder in a wrong way because as she stood on it, trying to put the small plant on the top of the doorway of the exit of the main building of the house, it was wobbling. Still, headstrong about getting the mistletoe of the doorway, Lexa went up an additional step and fell. 

Just as her wife was falling, Clarke was done cleaning up the kitchen. Right on time, she caught her wife and was carrying her in a cradling position. Both their hearts were quickly speeding, not wanting to know what would have happened if Lexa fell.

“Clarke,” Lexa said with a cheesy, nervous smile. “My hero!”

The blonde couldn’t help but let out sputtering laughter. 

“What’s with you and trying to hang up these mistletoes?”

Lexa shrugged as Clarke put her down. The blonde got up on the ladder and did it for Lexa.

“You could've asked me for help, Lex.” Clarke managed to stick it on the frame of the door. 

The brunette slipped her hands around her waist and hugged her close. 

“Sorry, I thought I would be able to make it.” She slightly blushed. 

She loved the fact that Clarke loved and cared about her, but sometimes she got overbearing. Years back it was understandable to her because she wasn’t caring for herself properly, but now, she knew that she had to care for herself. Not just for herself, but for Clarke. 

The blonde lifted her head up gently with her index finger and started the kiss off softly. Lexa sighed into it and closed her eyes. 

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. You ready for some rest before tomorrow?”

Lexa nodded eagerly, “But now that it’s up I really wanna do something.”

“Wha--” Clarke was cut off my Lexa’s lips slamming down into hers. 

_ The mistletoe silly. _

_ Of course. _

Clarke brought her hands up to the sides of Lexa’s face as she extended the kiss.

A moan passed a pair of lips. At this point, it really didn’t matter who let it out. Soon, the chilliness of the outside air in their courtyard caught up to them. 

Lexa drew her arms down to her waist, and slightly rolled her hips into Clarke, smiling around Clarke’s lips.  _ Thank the season for mistletoes (and the earth too of course). _

* * *

 

  
  


**December 25, 2026**

  
  


Both women separated their lips, but that didn’t stop Clarke from slipping in an extra kiss. 

“Merry Christmas, babe.” She whispered against the top of Lexa’s head as she held her in her arms. “I love you.”

“Me too, sweetheart. Happy Chrisler.” 

Clarke broke out into a mean chuckle. Lexa’s insides went absolutely nuts. Both women put their robes over their underwear and bras, and lastly some slippers so they could keep the bottoms of their feet nice and toasty. Lexa pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Clarke followed her wife downstairs to the bathroom. 

The blonde nipped at her neck. Lexa hated to seem like a teenager blushing at that, but her cheeks were tinting and she had a dopey smile on her face. Lexa took her medication even though her pain wasn’t nearly as bad. Maybe her body had gotten some kind of memo about the holidays. But her doctor said to take it every morning, and she had a reason to follow doctors orders. 

But that didn’t change the fact that no matter how often she did yoga, her legs just seemed to be stiff (even just a little bit). She slowly walked out into the courtyard with Clarke, holding her hand. The extra inches of snow for last night crushed under their feet. They opened the back door of the main building of the house, entering their living room. Their Christmas tree stood in the far corner of the living room with a few gifts, and Clarke wasn’t letting Lexa open the curtain to reveal the rest of the room. 

“Can I trust you not to peek while I get us some chocolate?” Clarke pinched her cheek and arched her brow.

“Yeah.” Lexa nodded. “What are you hiding? Did you get me a pony? Clarke Elizabeth, I’m  _ intrigued.” _

The brunette followed her wife into the kitchen.

“What do you want for breakfast, it’s on me.” Lexa brought out a pan and set it on the stove.

She didn’t turn the burner on yet. 

“Eggs are a definite.” Clarke started on the hot cocoa.

Forget Lexa feeling like a teenager, she felt like a little kid, extremely giddy to sit around the tree with her wife and watch the movies that ran all day on ABC Family. Not to mention, the hot cocoa and the heat radiating from her wife. It was just  _ the best. _ Suddenly, they were receiving a call request from their amazon portal device. Lexa reached over and answered without looking.

“Hey.”

“Hey, you two!” Multiple voices answered at once.

“Who is it?” Clarke craned her head to look at the screen.

She could make out the faces of Gaia, Luna, Lincoln, and Octavia. After a bit of shuffling, Anya’s face came into view as well. 

“Your favourite bitch,” Gaia answered. 

Lexa snickered as she mixed the eggs. And Clarke shook her head with a big smirk.

“So you all decided to be early birds?” The blonde asked as she mixed the cocoa powder in the mug. 

Luna spoke, completely interrupting Gaia, and putting a hand over her mouth, leaving her to make nothing but mumbling sounds.“Yup, you two are family to us, and we thought that maybe we could get a call in before Anastasia starts calling.”

“She calls you guys _ too?” _

“Yes, but I like it. The woman’s enjoyable.” Gaia said. “I love your mom and her cooking.”

* * *

 

“Open this one first.” Lexa held out the gift box to Clarke.

The blonde took it and looked at it,  _ “Ooh, _ what is it?”

Lexa loved Clarke’s hand to tear off a corner.

“Look and see.” 

Lexa was so excited for her wife to see what she got her. Clarke playfully looked at Lexa before tearing off the rest of the snowflake wrapping paper. When she finally tore everything away, her jaw dropped. (Well maybe it just came all the way off). Lexa sat up straight and sipped her chocolate. 

Then Clarke looked up at her with widened eyes.

_ “Well… _ do--”

“Yeah, I love it, thank you, Lexa.” The blonde leaned in and Lexa kissed the side of her head. 

When they pulled back, Clarke looked back down at the camera.

“This is  _ exactly _ what I wanted, how did you know?”

“All I’m gonna say is… thank Instagram’s algorithm.” Lexa twirled a strand of blonde hair and pecked her cheek.

“Thank you, Lexa.”

The blonde was beyond happy with the gift. All she could do was look at it in shock, then back to Lexa, and exhale (and repeat). She liked to photograph almost as much as she liked to paint and draw and sketch. She photographed before she began to draw when she was younger. (Which meant she had a lot of printed pictures of people looking borderline fearful for their lives and surprised, many hands reaching out, and nostrils).

She was glad she got over it at a decent age.

And especially much more since they moved to Paris. She was talented with her hand, but Paris’ beauty could never be duplicated on a canvas, the same way it could be captured in a photo.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. And really, it’s nothing. And I thought about how it would be better than what your phone can do.”

Clarke smiled and got up, taking Lexa’s hand.

“I know how...  _ Insistent  _ you are to know about what’s behind that curtain. And I think you’re gonna love it.”

Lexa had long removed her robe and followed her wife, who gripped the curtain. 

“Close your eyes first.” Clarke was teasing her with a sly smirk on her face.

Lexa was jittery,  _ “Elizabeth.” _

“Jeez,  _ Joseph, _ calm down.”

Clarke moved the curtain away loudly and waited for a few seconds before telling Lexa to open her eyes. The brunette stopped breathing and caught onto Clarke.

“You  _ didn’t.  _ Clarke--” Lexa’s breath got caught in her throat.  _ “What?--” _

The piano was something Lexa had wanted since she was a child. But her parents only had space for a keyboard. She enjoyed what she had just as much, but since she moved out, she still didn’t have space for it. It was until now. 

“Go on, sit, try it out, break it in!” Clarke ushered her to the seat. 

Lexa was extremely careful when she grazed her fingers over the keys.  _ When I charge the battery, I’d definitely gonna get a picture of her playing.  _ Lexa pressed down on a key and played a note. 

“Any requests?” 

“Um, I don’t know…” Clarke clicked her tongue and ran her fingers on Lexa’s thigh. 

“Let me try a classic first.” Lexa raised her brow, then began playing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ by Mariah Carey.  

Clarke chuckled.

“Don’t let me sing this alone,” Lexa said nudging Clarke’s shoulder. 

“Lexa, I can’t  _ sing.  _ I can  _ screech.” _

But as always, Clarke fell for the look on Lexa’s face, and the iconic song broke her resolve and the both of them shouted the lyrics to the top of their lungs. And 2026 had the be the best year for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like everyone else, I found out about the Beliza wedding. I'm not pissed, but I do wish them a happy marriage.


	22. Chapter 22

  


**January, 2027**

  


A head poked into Clarke’s cubicle as she answered some emails on her PC. The blonde tried so hard to hold back the exasperated sigh at the sight of Josephine.

“Hi, Clarke.”

The older blonde cringed at the way they girl smacked her gum in an obnoxiously loud way. _Keep it together, Clarke. Remember, if you give her, yes and no answers, she’ll be gone quickly._

“Hey, Josephine.” Clarke stopped answering an email and turned around to look at the girl.

Faking being nice to someone with such a horrible attitude was extremely hard.

“Okay um, to cut to the chase, I hate to be the bearer of bad news…”

_Bearer of bad news, more like a ball of damn annoying and entitlement?_

“At the start of every year, The Ark has a meeting for the head of all the departments, at headquarters, it’s basically to give a run through of what we plan to accomplish this year. And my dad said to check your email inbox because he sent you everything you need to know.”

“Okay, thank you,” Clarke said with a straight (no pun intended) lipped smile.

_Woah, that was the least bitchy thing she’s said._

“Okay, bye.” Josephine twirled her hair and whipped her body around to go yell out the name of someone in the next cubicle over.

The blonde turned towards her computer to try and find the email. Not a few seconds later, Clarke saw a face poke in from the corner of her eye. She turned around to see Lexa.

“Oh _hey,_ baby!” She extended her arms out and greeted her with a big smile.

She kissed Lexa’s lips, loving the warmth radiating from the brunette.

“Hey.” Lexa’s hands slithered down to her hips and nice round ass.

The brunette loved seeing Clarke dress formal and all. She looked extremely sexy, and strong.

“I saw Josephine, do I need to knock anyone out?” Lexa raised her brow as she asked Clarke.

Clarke shook her head ‘no’.

“She came in to tell me about a meeting.”

“Hmm? What for?” Lexa picked up the bag of food and sat down in the chair that Clarke had in her office for her. “You sure it’s not a setup?”

“I doubt it, I hope not, because I’m kinda getting worked up thinking about it.”

Right then, Clarke got a notification on her laptop.

“Is that it?” Lexa asked taking out Clarke’s sandwich and handing it to her.

“Thank you.”

“Welcome. I can read it for you while you eat.”

The blonde took it and removed the paper around it. She slid her chair back to give Lexa access to the computer screen. Lexa rested her head in her hand.

She cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses before reading, “Okay, _Clarke…”_

As Lexa read further and further, she slowed down, then looked at Clarke. The blonde since stopped eating her sandwich and leaned in close to the screen as well. She looked equal parts pissed, confused, and worried. In The Ark back home she never attended a meeting. Or maybe she did, judging by all the ‘surprise’ meetings she attended in Kane’s office, huddled with fifteen others from different departments.

But it wasn’t the meeting itself that had her in her feelings, rather where it was.

“ _Chenonceau?_ That’s like two hours from here, right?”

“That’s not even the worst thing about it,” Lexa mumbled as she skimmed through the email. “ _The meeting is three days long and we discuss--_ what the fuck? Three days talking about business stuff. Two hours away!”

“When?” Clarke tried to read around Lexa’s head.

“The 20th.”

_That’s almost a week and four… no-- three days from today._

Clarke almost didn’t sleep that night. She didn’t know how she would be able to do it. What the hell were they gonna be talking about for _six hours?_

* * *

 

  


**A Week Later**

  


Clarke decided to wake up two hours before she had to go. It was easy to get herself up because she didn’t sleep for more than two hours. But even that was a stretch. She didn't notice the fact that Lexa woke up as well. The brunette stayed still and quiet, not wanting to distract Clarke being as slow and cautious as possible.

All Lexa could see was pure cuteness at that moment. Clarke took a quick rinse, and got out, wrapped in a towel. Lexa couldn’t help but keep her eyes open, instead of pretending to be asleep. She watched every step Clarke took carefully. Clarke always put her underwear on first, followed by her pants, then a bra, then her blouse.

The blonde got up to find her shoes and caught sight of her wife's big cheesy grin.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No.” Lexa sat up.

She had timed herself to wake up in time to be able to send Clarke off for the meeting.

Lexa smirked, as she wiggled herself over to the edge of the bed. She planned to get a few more hours of rest after Clarke left. But she wanted to assure that Clarke was okay.

“I’ll make you something to eat while you finish up, okay?”

“Okay, thanks, baby girl.”

Lexa stood on her feet, slightly unsteady. Her pain had gone away, but her vision and ability to move without feeling heavy was there and reminding her. Lexa grabbed her cane and leaned on it when she took her first step.

She took Clarke’s face with her unoccupied hand and kissed Clarke.

“Anything for you.”

Clarke smiled tiredly, “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

Lexa had to be honest, it sucked that she couldn’t go see Clarke for lunch break, so she instead chose to make her lunch to take, and told her to facetime her whenever she did get off for lunch break. Neither woman was looking forward to the next three days.

“So I’m guessing eggs. How do you want them?”

“Um… scrambled would be good,” Clarke said excitedly at the thought.

Cooking was Lexa’s best hobby.

No, _if and's_ or _buts._

“Okay, I’ll be back.” Lexa turned to leave.

Clarke took her hand and stopped her.

“Wait!”

“What?” Lexa furrowed her brows, but the confusion on her face softened when Clarke kissed her.

“You’re the best.”

The brunette chuckled and ran her fingers over the button of Clarke’s blouse.

“No, _you_ are.”

* * *

 

The second day both women knew what to expect. Lexa had gotten some piano music to learn. They were classical pieces that she could spend most of her time working on not just when Clarke was at a meeting, but whenever she had free time. Leaving in the ass crack of the morning before the sun was even up, was hard. She finally coaxed Lexa to stay in bed while she was getting ready. When she came back to say goodbye before leaving, Lexa was sound asleep.

Clarke found the sight cute. So, she kissed the top of her wife’s head before leaving. As usual, she turned the Bluetooth on, streaming the music playlist that she and Lexa put together in the car.

_Time to do this quickly._

A few minutes before arriving to The Ark’s European Headquarters, she got a message on her phone.

 

**Lexa: i love you so much, cant wait to see you again later. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️**

 

Clarke smiled at the message and grabbed her phone in the middle of the song “All of Me by John Legend’.

 

**Clarke: i love you so much too (too much for my heart to hold but i do). And dont worry, i’ll always come back bbg.**

 

**Lexa: i dont wanna keep you from the meeting. Bye, be good.**

 

**Clarke: okay, i’ll ttyl.❤️**

 

Clarke pocketed her phone before pulling into the filling parking garage. So many of the company’s head of departments were there, starting to come out of their cars or bikes. Clarke didn’t meet them all yesterday, but some of them smiled politely and gave her some hellos. As expected, Josephine was on her father’s shoulder. Clarke grabbed her briefcase and made her way out her car.

There were a few minutes before the meeting, so Clarke started to listen to some music on her earbuds on her way into the building. One thing was for certain, Clarke was already waiting for the meeting to be over.

* * *

 

Lexa found herself in one of the guest rooms after she was standing on the balcony of their bedroom. She just walked across the “bridge” that connected their bedroom to the guest rooms across the courtyard. She sat on the floor and looked around. So far they had few visitors. So the room was vacant for the most part.

Lexa wondered about what the room could be used for, but she couldn’t really imagine anything. She lifted up the back of her wrist to read the time on her apple watch. Clem would be coming home soon. Often times, she, Clarke, and the boy would talk about whatever the first subject brought up was. Lexa got up from the floor and began to head towards the front of the house.

She could hear kids loudly chatting and laughing down the street as she made her way out the door.

_“Lexa!”_

_“Clem.”_

The boy barreled down the walkway but slowed down just enough to not topple Lexa over. The brunette hugged the boy close.

_“How was school?”_

The six-year-old shrugged. Lexa rustled dirty blonde hair playfully. The first-grader laughed.

“The same.”

_“Nothing exciting?”_

He shook his head ‘no’. The brunette sat in her chair on the porch, and Clem sat in Clarke’s. He took his bookbag off and set it on the ground next to the rocking chair.

_“How long does Clarke have to be at work?”_

_“One more day.”_

The boy also missed Clarke’s presence.

Clem tilted his head to the side, _“Why so long?”_

_“Because they have to talk about business stuff.”_

_“I don’t understand you, big people,”_ he said looking serious and slightly annoyed.

Clem had been swept under the rug by so many adults. Still, he didn’t understand why adults always seemed to _be adults._

Lexa laughed hard, “Why not?”

“I dunno.” he shrugged. “Just are.”

When Clem left, Lexa went back to that room, and she sort of sat and thought for a long while. Maybe some young life running around was what the house needed. But she didn’t know if Clarke felt the same. The topic of children had mostly been brought up by their parents and was brushed off with laughter, they felt it was too soon because of Lexa’s health, and them trying to set a routine at home. But since they moved to the big home, there was some life missing that they couldn’t bring with their individual talents of the arts or their love put together.

Their love for each other was its own universe, but the house still felt too big for the two of them. And she felt that it was about time that they started adding another planet to their universe. Lexa just didn't know when to bring up the topic to Clarke.

So she just kept it to herself.

* * *

 

  


**Clarke: lunch break just started, I’ll call you when I get my food.**

 

**Lexa: okay. I’m excited to see your face.**

 

**Clarke: my face looks tired.**

 

Clarke sat in her car and opened her lunch box, and grabbed her phone, immediately calling Lexa.

_“Hey, babe.”_

Both women’s face lit up at the sight of each other after a long couple of hours. Both were eager for Clarke to be home.

“Hey, babe.”

_“Was it good?”_

Clarke shrugged taking a bite of her wrap, “It was boring. I don’t see how they couldn’t have just sent an email or a link for a PDF. I wish I could be home cuddling you.”

 _“Me too, but one more day. Clem says hi.”_ Lexa shifted to make herself more comfortable on the floor.

“Ooh, well tell him I said hi when you see him tomorrow.” Clarke noticed her wife on the floor. “Whatchu’ doing in the guest room? Are you okay?”

 _“Oh, I’m…”_ Lexa shrugged and looked around. _“I’m just hanging around.”_

Lexa looked so dopey on the screen, especially by the angle in which she was holding the phone. Lexa had a double chin, and Clarke could see almost all the way up her nose.

 _“What do you want for dinner?”_ Lexa asked as she had nearly every evening.

“Umm…”

_“Umm…”_

Clarke laughed, “Babe, are you _mocking_ me?”

_“Um, no.”_

_“No?”_

The blonde couldn’t help the grin on her face. Her wife could be a clown sometimes and she loved it.

“Okay, now, _you’re_ the one mocking me.”

Lexa scoffed, looking playfully offended, _“And I oop--”_

Clarke cocked her head to one side and the other in sync with Lexa.  

 _“So, why do we say we’re head over heels when we’re happy? Isn’t that the way we normally are?”_ Lexa asked.

“Lexa, that’s _wrong._ You’re head over heels when you’re _in love.”_ Clarke answered in a matter of factly tone.

Lexa made a brain-explosion motion causing her wife to laugh.

_“So are you head over heels?”_

Clarke scoffed, “I’m floating and flying. Flying and floating.”

Clarke conversed with Lexa. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Russel and Josephine pass her car. However, Josephine wasn’t on her father’s shoulder like before. She had a box and several to-go boxes of food stacked in there. She babbled and moved her hands under the cardboard.

Russel sighed and flailed his hand towards her as a signal to stop. And Josephine had the same look that a kid made when they got their candy taken.

_“I’m gonna go pick up the ingredients for dinner once we hang up, okay?”_

Clarke nodded, “Remember, the red peppers taste better.”

 _“And what shape of pasta would be better? The bow-ties, or the ones that are like the regular spaghetti but skinnier? God hair I think it’s called.”_ Lexa shrugged as she tried to guess.

Clarke laughed, “Do you mean _angel hair?”_

_“Yes, or maybe the one that’s like it, but flat.”_

Clarke was having a field day with Lexa’s descriptions.

The blonde finally got her laughing at bay, “Fettuccine. Lexa, you’re the _chef-iest_ one out of the two of us, and you don’t know the names?”

_“I know ravioli.”_

Josephine and Russel passed in front of her car not noticing her. It as when Lexa said something to prompt Clarke to laugh that Josephine looked back and saw the blonde in the car. Clarke glanced up for a second but Josephine was gone making a beeline after her father. Clarke saw the time on the dashboard of the car and jumped. (Like _physically_ rose her butt off the seat).

“Damn, I’ve got five minutes before I’ve gotta go!” Clarke was quickly closing her lunch bag and grabbing her jacket.

 _“I’m shaking.”_ Lexa joked.

But the joke was fitting, considering that Clarke’s phone was rattling on the dashboard as the blonde frantically got ready to get up and out.

_“Okay, I'll leave you be. I love you, see you in a bit.”_

“Bye, baby girl.” Clarke picked her phone up and got out the car, blowing a kiss to Lexa.

“ _Bye, sweetheart.”_ Lexa tapped her cheek, _catching_ the kiss.

Lexa hung up, and the blonde pocketed her phone, running back into the building. She ran past A few others and up the stairs because there were still a handful of people crowded around the elevators.

She was glad she wore some sketchers go walks, or she would have lost her whole foot.

The blonde made it to the fourth floor and ran to the room where the architects were. In Europe, there were probably nine other Arks spread out throughout the continent. And there would be one extra person from Headquarters and an interpreter. One thing Clarke didn’t want to do, made herself look clumsy. She couldn’t have someone from Russia thinking that she was a loser.

The blonde raced into the room and nearly tipped over. Five heads turned her way. _Shit. What the fuck, G-W?!_

“Clarke, glad you’re here a bit early,” _Mrs_ said with a smile.

Clarke forgot her name, but she still called the woman _Mrs_ to be polite. The blonde sat in the chair on the opposite end of _Mrs._

“Yeah, I’m glad too.” The blonde breathed out.

Really she was, the blonde adjusted her notes next to her pens. There were two more minutes and four more people entering the room in a panic. Clarke took the time to pick up her pen and slightly doodle on the corner of one of the papers.

“Hey, don’t mean to be a creep. "Is that your wife?”

The blonde looked up to see Russel politely smiling at her.

“Yeah.” The blonde nodded smiling with a bit of pride. “Just to pass the time.”

“It looks good.”

“Thank you.” Clarke gave him a small smile.

Russel nodded and continued on to give _Mrs_ a stack of packets. Clarke turned her paper over when _Mrs_ cleared her throat announcing that the meeting would be starting.

* * *

 

Clarke walked up to the front door and the light above the door reflected off a sheet of paper on the doorknob. She grabbed it before putting the key into the lock and turning it.

“Babe, I’m home!” she announced and she smiled when she heard Lexa in the kitchen scrambling.

The brunette emerged and jumped into her arms.

“Hey!”

“Hey.” Clarke exhaled, catching her breath and enjoying the feel of her wife in her arms after so much time. “How are you, cutie?”

“I’m good, gorgeous.”

Clarke set her things down on the ground and kept her arms around Lexa. She pressed a warm kiss to Lexa’s lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Lexa kissed the top of her head. “Dinner is ready.”

“Mmm.”

But Clarke was in a daze looking into Lexa’s eyes. She missed the brunette so much in the amount of time that they were apart.

“Wait, Lexa.”

The brunette looked back, “Hmm? What’s up?”

And Clarke smiled. And Lexa blushed. And two hearts were racing.

“Aww, you made my heart feel weak…” Lexa puckered put her bottom lip pretending to be upset that Clarke could do these things to her without doing a damn thing.

And she loved it.

* * *

 

“What the _FUCK!?”_ Lexa swerved the car but steadied it.

 _Seriously, who the fuck yells at their vagina, Lexa?_ The brunette was confused. One second she was driving back from the bakery (yes, late in the day), and the next second she was watching a red stop light turn green, and practically on cue, she was throbbing wet in her southern regions and it was painful. _Christ Lexa, save it for your wife!_ Lexa squeezed her legs together and tapped her index finger on the steering wheel of her car.

She was glad that it was Clarke’s last meeting and that she would go back to seeing her wife at normal times.

 

**Clarke: babe I’m fifteen minutes away from home**

 

**Lexa: okay. I picked up some bread but I’ll be home before you.**

 

**Clarke: k, can’t wait to see u.**

 

**Lexa: me neither. Drive safe babe ❤️ see u soon**

 

Lexa put down her phone and focused on driving. The least she could do was get there safely. The brunette straightened her posture slightly getting some friction. But there was nothing and it was painful. Then she relaxed her legs and sighed.

Lexa stood up on unsteady legs and made it indoors with the pastries. She checked on dinner in the slow cooker and leaned on the countertop. The fire in her loins was putting her on _edge._ She was having some cold sweats just by standing there and not taking care of herself. She lifted the lid of the slow cooker with the small cloth on the handle to ensure she wouldn’t burn herself.

The front door opened two minutes after she turned it off and Lexa looked back, still clinging to the countertop.

“Hey, babe.” Clarke was slightly taken aback by the fact that Lexa wasn’t barreling towards her, and even more so by seeing her against the countertop like that. “You okay?”

Lexa gulped and nodded. Seeing her wife all disheveled, her blouse with two buttons undone, and her hair out of its low bun (which Clarke had taken it out because she felt too hot). Lexa’s lower half was just trembling for Clarke. The blonde approached her slowly with a furrow in her brow. She couldn’t tell if Lexa was in some sort of pain.

“You sure?” Clarke finally got to her and gently put her hand over her shoulder. “Does this hurt?”

Lexa shook her head ‘no’, “I’m fine.”

“Well, you don’t look like it. Is it your hip?”

“No, baby, I’m fine.” Lexa kissed her wife and sighed into the touch.

Because Clarke chose to wear heels today, she was eye level to Lexa. (Normally, Lexa was an inch or so taller than her, not that significant). Clarke knew something was up, but she didn’t wanna prod her wife so much if she didn’t wanna talk about it.

“Dinner is ready, you can go wash your hands while I get the food.”

Clarke nodded and kissed the side of her head before proceeding to the bathroom. Lexa took a heavy exhale. _What the bloody hell, Lexa!?!?_ The brunette shook any fuzziness from her head and got out two plates, filling them with steak and broccoli and rice. When Clarke returned, she got some cups.

“What kind of juice do you want?”

“Um…” Lexa turned around, “probably grape.”

“Ugh…” Clarke chuckled as she opened the fridge. “I don’t get how you like that?”

A smile spread on Lexa’s face, “I-- it’s _good_ trust me.”

“Babe, I trust you on most things but grape juice is not one.”

It seemed like the throbbing ache in Lexa’s front was calming down for once.

“Aww.” Lexa puckered out her bottom lip.

As Clarke passed by to place it on the spot on the table where Lexa usually sat, she snuck a kiss to Lexa’s lips. _Oop-- there it is again!_ Lexa brought the plates to the table and sat, not taking a bite until Clarke sat.

Throughout dinner, Clarke was paying attention to Lexa’s body language. The way her wife was acting was slightly unsettling, giddy, and anxious.

 _But if Lexa insists she’s okay, she’s okay._ That was what Clarke insisted when she caught sight of Lexa’s knee bouncing up and down quickly. And the way that her brunette’s hips rocked forward and back occasionally against the chair. Not to mention the fact that Lexa was wearing leggings that emphasized her legs and butt. _Christ._ Lexa was also covering her mouth every time she burped. Her wife was polite like that, but the burps didn’t sound like _burps._

The brunette’s hips rolled forward and she let out a small whimper. Clarke nearly choked on the broccoli she was swallowing realizing how wet she was. The brunette darted her eyes to her wife, and Clarke got a sight of how blown and dark they were. Then something clicked between the two of them and they knew just what was needed. The blonde dropped her utensils with a clatter.

The brunette bit on her bottom lip until small specks of pain could be felt and she didn’t nibble down any harder.

“Sorry,” Lexa said and she slid the chair back to get up.

_Jesus, Lexa. What the hell?_

“No, no, no, babe, it’s okay.” Clarke went after her and gently took her hand.

She moved a strand of sweaty hair behind her wife’s ear and looked into her dark eyes.

“It’s okay.”

Clarke leaned in to give her a strong kiss. Lexa immediately moaned into it. Clarke settled her hands on her hips as she moved her lips to extend the kiss. Lexa took her bottom lip in between her teeth gently. The throbbing in Lexa’s front was beginning to feel painful.

“I need you.”

That soft sentence against her lips were what prompted Clarke to pick her up and take her to their bedroom. They cared less about their unfinished dinner. They quickly arrived at their bed and Clarke carefully laid her on the bed. Somehow, _someway,_ Lexa managed to get Clarke on her back and attacked her lips. Clarke smiled against her lips and stuck her hands under Lexa’s shirt, pulling it up and over her head.

Clarke dragged her fingers up and down Lexa’s spine. Soon, _very soon,_ in fact, all their clothes were gone.

“You’re hot.” Lexa breathed out admiring Clarke’s chest and rolling her hips against her legs.

“Hold on.” Clarke sat up with Lexa on her lap and reached for the strap which was in the crook of the bed frame.

Lexa let out a devilish smile. When Clarke moved to put it on herself, Lexa put a hand to her chest and stopped her.

“May I?” Lexa asked.

Her expression was wide-eyed, yet _lustful._ And Clarke wouldn’t say no to that.

“Yeah okay.”

Long fingers took ahold of the strap. Lexa dragged herself down Clarke’s body and with one hand she traced over Clarke’s body. It was soft, welcoming, and basically _silk._ It felt like a blanket against Lexa’s body. Then Lexa got to the apex of Clarke’s thighs.

Clarke’s pussy was drenched. Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes as she ran her slender fingers through her folds. Clarke closed her eyes and rolled her hips up.

_“Mmm, fuck!”_

Lexa smirked to herself. She brought her fingers up and licked the wetness off before proceeding to attach the strap onto her wife.

“Does it feel okay?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, perfect.”

The brunette brought herself up and lined her center with the strap. Clarke took her hand and intertwined their fingers. Lexa lowered herself down and her head tilted back as soon as she was being filled up. She let out a long moan. Her breathing escalated as she took all of it in, and was flush with Clarke.

Lexa let out a small sound and closed her eyes, slowly rocking and feeling that _feeling_ build up in the pit of her stomach.

“C’ mere, I wanna taste those lips of yours some more, is that okay?”

Lexa nodded, relaxing into Clarke’s arms.

“Fuck me, _Klark.”_

Clarke moaned out loud. The blonde thrusted her hips upwards and hung onto Lexa’s hips. Lexa’s jaw fell open. The speed Clarke set off with didn’t quite surprise Lexa but she was grateful for it. The brunette let her head flop into the crook of Clarke’s neck.

She moaned into her wife’s ear and it triggered a smile from Clarke.

“Fuck, that feels… _ahhh!”_

The feeling of the strap on her clit had Clarke whimpering in pleasure as well. Clarke flipped them over making her be on top. They had been together enough times that Lexa encouraged her to not be too gentle. The blonde bore her hips into Lexa. The brunette threw her head back exposing her neck. Clarke leaned her head down to kiss the skin there.

“Mmm, I’m _so_ close!”

“Let me take you there, babe.”

* * *

 

Clarke woke up early because of her alarm clock going off. Lexa shot up and gasped.

“Shh, everything’s okay. Go back to sleep, I forgot to set off my alarm clock.” Clarke rolled off the bed and quickly turned it off.

She sat on the edge of the bed feeling awake. It sucked that she couldn’t go back to sleep after waking up. She didn’t have to go to work yet. Miller sent her a memo. Apparently, the heads of departments started next week, so she had four days off, including the weekend.

The blonde really appreciated that. The strap was still attached to her waist and her hair was slightly messy from last night’s lovemaking. Regardless, she got up and walked out of the bedroom, stretching her shoulders as she made her way to the main building. Dinner was still on the table, so Clarke washed the dishes. She was just about to go back upstairs when she saw a sheet of paper on the countertop.

 _Who’s left a note here?_ Clarke picked it up and read.

 

**_Clarke and Lexa,_ **

**_You gays are my best frends!!! I hop that you guys have a god day!_ **

**_Clem_ **

 

The blonde chuckled at the spelling errors. That kid was the sweetest. The blonde smiled as she made her way back upstairs to show Lexa.

“Hey, Lex, sorry to wake you, but our friend left a letter.”

“Oh, Clem?”

Clarke nodded. She crawled into the sheets next to Lexa.

“It seems like he’s been making a good effort at learning English.”

Lexa took the paper and read for herself, grinning widely. Clarke snaked her arms around her hips and held her tightly.

“We can work on the grammar, but he’s got a good idea forming.”

“Yeah, and It seems like we had a _god day yesterday_ ,” Lexa commented.

“Lexa, he’s six, and English isn’t his first language, don’t laugh.”

“I’m not making fun of it, it’s cute. I think it’s sweet. Should we reply?”

“Sure.” Clarke kissed her cheek and snuggled close to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please be sure to leave a kudo if you liked it. And comment any concerns, thoughts, or whatever. See you guys next update!


	23. Chapter 23

  
  


**Mid-February, 2027**

  
  


“Ow, ow, ow!” Lexa collapsed back into the mattress sobbing.

They planned to have a nice Saturday. Just the two of them, and a day out shopping at outlets and holding hands and enjoying the spring weather. But now Lexa couldn’t even get up out of bed. Clarke stroked the side of her cheek and looked into her eyes. She couldn’t understand.

Lexa had managed to be able to move better and wake up with less pain and go about her day pain-free for the most part. The brunette gave up and turned around and began sobbing. The occasional shake of her body as she cried was painful and wasn’t helping her much. Clarke crawled onto the bed next to her and gently put an arm around her for comfort. 

“It hurts so much!”

“You took your medicine, right?” Clarke asked looking into tear-filled eyes.

“Yeah, that’s the  _ first  _ thing I do every morning.” 

Clarke nodded still worried. 

“Do you think you need to go to a hospital?”

“No!-” Lexa choked out immediately. “I mean  _ no.” _

All Clarke could muster was, “Okay.” 

She moved a strand of sweaty hair from her forehead. 

“I love you, always remember that.”

“I love you, too. Sorry, I ruined our plans.”

“No, no, no, you didn’t ruin anything, Lex.” Clarke quickly interjected.

The blonde never liked seeing people sick. And it hurt more when she saw Lexa sick. She wished she could take her place and take away her pain. 

_ Bear it so Lexa won’t have to. _

“Do you need anything?” Clarke asked.

“No, thanks,” Lexa said in a staggered breath. 

“Can I hold you?” Clarke asked in a small voice.

Green eyes met hers and she nodded. Clarke opened her arms and let Lexa crawl into them and settle comfortably. In this particular position, Lexa felt no pain, so she let Clarke’s breathing calm her down. She softly hummed, leaning her head comfortably on the crook of Clarke’s neck. 

“What do you want for lunch?” Clarke pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Anything you’re having.” Lexa closed her eyes to enjoy Clarke’s act of affection. 

Clarke smiled, “Okay, I’ll start on it in a bit.”

Lexa relaxed in her wife’s arms quietly until she fell asleep. 

* * *

 

Lexa sat in the chair of the vanity in their bedroom. Her iPad sat in front. She tapped her fingers on her kneecap waiting for her doctor to facetime her for her appointment. Clarke offered them some privacy, especially since the appointment wasn’t for her, and let Lexa know that she would be in the studio finishing up a painting. While Lexa was caught up in her thoughts, the iPad went off, and she jerked back into consciousness answering. 

_ “Hello, Lexa!” _ The brunette forgot to anticipate the man’s booming voice.

“Hey, Doctor.” The brunette answered with a small smile, fumbling with the sleeve of Clarke’s hoodie (that she had kept for a good few years now).

_ “I hear that you feel unwell.” _

 “Yes, actually,” Lexa said in confirmation. “And I’ve been like this for four days now.”

_ “Wow!” _

On the surface of her mind, Lexa knew that it was nothing compared to the long time she waited until she went to him to get diagnosed before. 

_ “Mind elaborating for me?” _

“Sure.” There was a pause and Lexa finally took the note. “Um, basically, it feels like a pain in my back and just trying to get up makes me dizzy and my legs just aren’t doing what I need them to so easily. And I was having hot flashes yesterday and the day before but they’re gone now. It’s basically square one all over again.”

Lexa’s shoulder’s sunk. 

_ “Hey, it’s okay, I think it’s just a relapse. I think that for the next two weeks I’m going to prescribe that you take two pills daily instead of one. And then when you feel a little better you can call me back for an appointment and I’ll see when it’s appropriate to go back to your normal prescription.”  _

“Okay.” 

Lexa was processing the words he said.

_ “Is there anything else bothering you, healthwise?” _

“No, thank you. I just--  _ didn’t  _ think I would relapse, I was doing good, and feeling almost pain-free.”

_ “I understand, Lexa. Not everybody relapses, and relapses don’t happen often.”  _ The man assured jotting something down on his chart. 

“Okay.”

* * *

 

  
  


**Two Weeks Later**

  
  


“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Clarke passed behind Lexa doing the downward dog and playfully smacked her butt. 

The brunette giggled, “I am too.” 

“Hey, when you’re done, do you wanna help me clean up the guest rooms and the bathrooms?” Clarke asked with a bucket-full of cleaning supplies all in a bucket, and a broom and a mop tucked under her shoulder. 

Lexa looked back at her wife and nodded, “But are you getting started now?”

“Yeah, but you can join me when you’re done, ‘kay?”

Lexa nodded. She thrust her hips back against Clarke’s leg, receiving another smack to her butt.  _ Yep, she’s so much better.  _ Lexa focused back on her yoga pose, taking the necessary breaths. Clarke made her way into the “guest building”, leaving Lexa to do her yoga in the courtyard.

Clarke was mopping when she finally noticed how big the house was.--Too big for just her and Lexa.  _ Gigantic.  _ The last time the guest room was used was when they invited Jackson and Miller over, and they drank, and the women insisted they use the guest room instead of driving. Other than that, the room was clean with the exception of dust that collected over time. 

Clarke wondered if there would ever be a time when one of the guest rooms would be someone’s designated room. And decorated to fit them. Clarke wondered if there would be a time when she or Lexa would have to make trips to let that  _ someone _ know that dinner was ready. And maybe that room would be filled with toys, and then over time that  _ someone _ would--  _ Clarke. You’re too busy.  _

_ You never know what work will throw at you.  _ She began to move more towards her right. And it was something that Clarke’s bored,  _ blank _ mind took and regurgitated. As she began to think more and more, she mopped faster, nearly kicking over the bucket. She just kept thinking. 

What if work got so much more overwhelming and she couldn’t even be lucky to be home at a reasonable hour. She would never forgive herself for missing something big. And she certainly wouldn’t forgive herself if she let work distance her marriage. Lexa’s work was different, and she worked at her own pace, and she could make it work, but what was the point of doing things  _ together _ , if only one end could hold up? The blonde looked up and got herself out of her thoughts. 

But Clarke’s thoughts kept going back to that. The thought of her and Lexa with kids was something that made her smile. She had to admit it. But she also had to admit that she got caught up in her thoughts again. Too caught up in the fact that she didn’t notice her wife come up behind her and kiss her neck. 

“I finished my workout.” Clarke could feel Lexa’s smile on the back of her neck, and that made her smile. 

She turned around and kissed the top of her wife’s head. 

“Was it good?”

Lexa nodded, “Yup. Need me to dust and take the sheets for a wash?” 

“Please?” Clarke asked. 

This was answered with a “Definite yes.” From Lexa.

The brunette let her cane rest against the nightstand and she removed the sheets from the bed, and pillow covers, stripping the bed bare.

“Do you need help carrying it?” Clarke offered.

“Nah, I think I can handle it,” Lexa said as nonchalantly as possible, even though it was clear that she was struggling to hold her own weight.

The brunette overcame that and made her way to the laundry room. Clarke smiled as she caught a glimpse of Lexa’s expression. The brunette slowly scaled the steps and all her brain was screaming was  _ you know, you’ve been thinking about kiddos for a while, maybe you should bring it up to your wife, hmm?  _ Yes, Lexa had been thinking about children for a good couple of weeks now. Neither she nor her wife had thought of bringing it up to have a formal conversation. 

Lexa just thought that if nothing was said, it just wasn’t time for them. But now that she analyzed it, she just agreed with herself that it was better to say things. Just in case they were never said. The thing that got Lexa to refocus on her task at hand was nearly tripping on a step.  _ Focus, Lexa. _

The brunette turned to the side, as an attempt to see the steps before she took one. She finally arrived to the laundry room with a happy side. She made it, and she felt proud. 

“Way to be independent, Woods.” Lexa praised herself as she put the sheets into the washer and grabbed the fabric softener.

Once done, she attempted to sprint back to the guest room. However, when she nearly tripped on a step, she decided to slow it down. Especially because she didn’t have her cane. 

“I’m back…” Lexa made a finger gun towards her wife. “And alive.”

Clarke chuckled.

 “I’m gonna need your help dusting. The shelves and fan are too high.”

“”Kay, let me lift you.” Clarke put the mop down and emerged from the bathroom.

“Can you carry my weight?” Lexa arched a brow and looked at her wife who gave her a look that spoke “obviously”.

“Honey, you’re as light as a feather, I’m sure I can.” Clarke wiped some sweat off the palm of her hands on the thighs of her pants. Lexa grabbed the duster and Clarke hoisted her onto her shoulders. Lexa sort of wobbled, making Clarke try to stabilize her. 

“Damn, why do we have tall ceilings?”

Clarke chuckled. Lexa leaned forward to dust the top of the fan, causing a slew of dust to fall onto her face, making her cough and lean back. 

“Shit!”

Clarke’s heart nearly jumped from her chest, realizing that Lexa was falling off. In what seemed like a split second, she managed to grab Lexa by the waist, and fall on her back. 

“That. Was. Awesome!” Lexa laughed. 

She tickled Clarke’s side. The blonde only clutched her waist a bit tighter, bringing her closer. 

“Damn, every time you fall, it scares me shitless.”

“But I didn’t get hurt. You caught me.” Lexa said turning so that she could face her wife. “You have the reflexes of a cat.”

Lexa sat on her lap and kissed her cheek. 

“Chill.” 

Clarke finally exhaled the breath she was holding in. Deep down Lexa knew that a fall wasn’t going to be the thing to kill her. It would be something as abrupt as a stray bullet. 

“Relax, it’s a big bed, and it caught both of us,” Lexa said shaking a piece of hair that was loose from her ponytail away from her face. “Speeding of big things, we have a big house.” 

Clarke looked at her wife with a furrow in her brow. 

“I mean, it’s just the two of us, and there’s like what? Three bedrooms, not counting ours.” Lexa said laying on her back, patting the spot next to her for Clarke to lay down with her. 

Then Clarke saw Lexa make this expression that spoke, “I know you know what I’m thinking, but I want you to say it first”.

“A family,” Clarke stated because there was no point in voicing it in the form of a question. “To fill this house.”

Lexa nodded with a smile. But it wasn’t just any smile. Clarke knew that it was the smile she made when she wanted something, one she had seen often when Lexa shoved endless amounts of pancake mix into the shopping cart, or she peeked into her side of the studio with a deep blush consuming her cheeks, or when Clem came to visit them and said sweet things, or when that cute (very) pregnant cat showed up on their front porch and Lexa managed to get her on her rocking chair successfully and feed her some leftovers, and now. This was something that was making Lexa happy and full of love all at once and Clarke smiled hard at it. 

“Kids,” Lexa said. “Clarke, we’re not getting  _ any _ younger and this house is too damn big.”

Clarke wanted to give in, but she had so many doubts in her mind as well. The day they eloped to their honeymoon, she had spent her time in bed (watching Lexa dance in her pajamas to some music) thinking about how in the future it wouldn’t  _ just  _ be the two of them. But she thought, her  _ work,  _ Lexa  _ touring,  _ and every other random obstacle that would jump in front of them would be a hindrance. 

“...Look, Clarke, it’ll be another person that’ll be making that same cute face.” The brunette pinched her cheek.

But then Lexa noticed.  _ That face. Something’s up. Maybe she’s not on board. _ Lexa’s smile straightened and she looked into her wife’s eyes. 

“Too much?”

Clarke zoned back in, “No, I’m just… thinking deeper.” 

“Okay, tell me?” Lexa cupped the side of her face. 

“I’m… what if it’s not exactly the ideal time? We don’t know a thing. Work for both of us is hectic. They’ve got me doing so much more than they did back in New York. And I would want to spend an even amount of time here and there.”

Lexa took her wife’s hand and gave them a gentle squeeze, “You’ve got me, and we can do it together--”

For some reason, it was becoming surreal to Clarke. But if they were doing it together,  _ both  _ of them had to be on the good side. Her nerves took over and it looked like her mind was changing.

“I dunno, Lex. I don’t think it’s the right time.”

Lexa sort of backed off. Her wife had a point on some things.

“Um…”

When Clarke saw her wife's face, she was convinced she fucked up. Lexa curled her bottom lip in and bit on it. 

“Then… we wait a while longer?” Lexa said with a hint of harshness in her voice to keep from giving into sobs.

The brunette looked close to tears. Clarke didn’t know what to do or say that would possibly water down what she just said. -- Or  _ at least  _ make it better. Clarke just looked down at their intertwined hands and wanted to take it all back and tell Lexa, “You know what? You’re right. We can both work it out. I love you, Lex”. But instead, the brunette stood up and gulped back what felt like a gallon of tears. 

“Can you help me finish-- dusting?” Lexa looked away to blink some excess tears from her eyes. 

“Lexa, I’m sorry,” Clarke said. 

“No, it’s okay. It’ll work out if both of us are ready.” Lexa squeezed a small gentle smile that was hurting.

She said grabbing the duster which fell on the floor during the fall.

“Lex…” Clarke could feel her eyes filling. 

Green eyes looked back at her wife. 

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Can I-- get a lift?” Lexa hardened her smile to try to bring some humor back into the atmosphere. 

Clarke got her wife back on her shoulders, and she made sure to hang onto her and move when she asked her to, in order for all the nooks to be cleaned. Within an hour, Lexa was busting out jokes and making her laugh. But there was less of that twinkle in her wife’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. See you next update.


	24. Chapter 24

 

 

**May, 2027**

  
  


Somehow, it was hotter than hell, and Lexa didn’t even know how she knew how hot hell was. But according to the Jehovah’s Witnesses that religiously (no pun intended) knocked on their door, she was going to have to be ready for it, because she didn’t feel like repeating.  _ Seriously, Lexa, this is stupid. You’re gonna die out here.  _ Lexa just continued to write the note.

_ You’re gonna die out there, and you’re leaving her a note? _

Lexa shrugged, grabbing her backpack, and cane. She left the note in the kitchen, headed straight out the backyard, through the courtyard, and stopped at the fence surrounding their home. Lexa punched in the code, then exited, making sure the gate closed properly. She was leaving, but she wasn’t gonna let someone break into  _ Heda’s  _ house. 

 

**_1:30pm_ **

 

Lexa just got back from having lunch with her wife, and Clarke wouldn’t be home for a few more hours, depending on today’s traffic. Lexa was certain she would be home in time. Well,  _ almost  _ certain. That was one of the many flaws in her plan. Lexa made her way up the trail. 

Near their house, there was a mountain trail. Although, it wasn’t exactly a  _ legit _ mountain. It was smaller, but the trail ran alongside it. Due to it being so close to the city, it was like walking through a field. The wives had never walked the trail at all, but Lexa was going to challenge herself to do so.

The trek was well so far. Lexa felt adrenaline, she was excited and determined. She took a drag of water and continued moving forward. So far there was no sign of wildlife, and Lexa frowned at that thought. Although she should have considered herself lucky. 

The brunette saw the clearing of tall grass ahead, and she smiled. It was such a beautiful sight. But in her mind, it couldn’t graze Clarke’s beauty. In her mind, Clarke’s beauty ranked  _ way _ above that. Speaking of Clarke, the blonde seemed to be firm on her position about a family. 

Lexa never once  _ dared _ to bring it back up. However, she had to sort of force herself to be okay with it. The brunette continued walking slowly. Her legs didn’t quite begin to ache yet, and she was appreciating her legs’ cooperation. Nothing out of blue was happening, and Lexa was just walking, and taking her time, but not moving  _ too _ slow. 

The trees surrounding her were providing a good shield from the harsh sunlight they were having that day, but it seemed to also be a haven for mosquitoes. Low and behold, a squirrel ran right up to her, and she stopped because she thought it was cute. She knelt down and leaned in closer to get a better look at the tiny creature.

“Hi there.” She smiled when it twitched its tail, and turned his head to the side.

The squirrel approached closer to her pants pocket.  _ He smells my Japanese nuts.  _ She moved to take it out when suddenly the squirrel  _ pounced  _ on her, getting a few scratches to her arm, before running away with a cheek full of nuts.

“What the fuck? You little greedy ass motherfucker!” She yelled after him as he ran up a tree and ate the nuts in front of her. 

It was almost as if he was mocking her, and getting a kick out of it with a side of nuts. She couldn’t believe that she got mugged by a three-pound squirrel.  _ Give it up, Lexa. He’s ten feet above your reach level, keep going. _ The brunette shrugged and angrily kept moving. 

_ She loved Japanese nuts.  _

“I cannot  _ fucking _ believe,” Lexa grumbled angrily, stomping away. 

She rolled her eyes and loudly puffed her hair out of her face. The squirrel followed her from above, hopping from tree to tree branch.

* * *

 

Her lower lip trembled and she moved her hair out of her face when she leaned her head forward. She felt like an absolute idiot. Like she was a high schooler who was caught off guard, being picked to answer a question. And then she was being exposed to the class for not paying attention. Both were burning her on both sides. 

She hurt Lexa, and now she was finally having salt rubbed into her own wounds of guilt.

“Dad… I--” Clarke took a long deep breath to make sure she wouldn’t go back into an abyss of sobs. “I  _ hurt  _ her.”

_ “Clarke, you didn’t--” _

Clarke interrupted her father, “You didn’t see her face, Dad. I  _ hurt _ her.” 

Clarke didn’t want to be caught crying. If someone were to pass by and see her, she didn’t know how she would come back from that.

“Well, Clarke, why  _ did _ you say no?” 

“Because… because…” Clarke wiped her eyes so that what little makeup she had didn't get ruined. “Because… I dunno,  _ work?” _

Jake scoffed. 

“I know, I’m  _ the worst.”  _ Clarke sniffled and wiped a stray tear.

_ Damn, Clarke, stop crying. Now is not the time or place. _

_ “No, Clarke. Look, work is work, you need a job to make sure that you can support your wife and yourself. That’s just the way it is, honey. But look, you’re the head architect Clarke, the best in that building. I’m sure you can make some arrangements with your boss so that you can manage your time just right between home and work. Lexa’s at home, she could care for them at home, and you can maybe make arrangements for yourself to have some days off in a week, or come home earlier.” _

“Are you  _ sure?” _

Clarke was working up to her two year anniversary working in  _ this  _ Ark. She didn’t really know Russel that well to think that he would agree to make arrangements. 

_ “Clarke, look if solving the work thing still doesn’t work out, then maybe you shouldn’t have kids. But if you can make it work, you’re not getting any younger.”  _ Jake said.

And it baffled Clarke how right her father was. She eyed her blank sketchpad and her pencil resting on it. (Sometimes she needed something to keep her creative juices going).

_ “Clarke? Clarke? Hello?” _

“I’m here, sorry.”

_ “No, you’re okay, honey. So… what is your plan?” _

_ Plan?  _ “Um, I’m gonna think about it. I can  _ tell _ Lexa’s ready. But I want to make sure I’m ready as well. I want to get all the doubts out my head.”

_ “Okay, honey. If that will make you feel better, that’s okay. No matter what, your mother and I support you, and I’m supersonically sure that Lexa does too.” _

Clarke had a small smile across her face. 

“Okay, dad, I’m gonna leave you be, talk to you later.” Clarke exhaled puffing up her lips. 

_ “Okay, Clarke, tell Lexa I said ‘hi’, and I need the both of you to communicate more.” _

“Okay… bye.”

“Bye, Clarke, have a good day.”

“You too.”

“Bye-bye.”

Miller passed by her cubicle and Clarke stopped him.

“Hey, Mills, you’re not doing anything, are you?” She turned her chair towards the entrance and had her hand flat on a small stack of files she needed to give to engineering. 

“Nope.” He popped the ‘p’ like he always did. 

She grabbed the stack and held them out to him, “Can you take this to Issac, please? Thanks, man.”

“‘Course.” The man accepted them with a warm smile and retreated back to the engineering ‘lair’.

Clarke slid her sketchbook in front of her and grabbed her pencil.  _ You can do it, Clarke. _ She bit her lip like she usually did when deep in thought. She was damn determined to kill the doubt she had lying deep in her mind. 

 

**Cons:**

 

  * ****Work (can’t make time) > send Russel an email or meet with him after work****


  * **Not everyone goes into parenting knowing every little thing. Go with the flow with Lexa. (Who knows, maybe you’ll raise the best kid on the planet)**



 

 

Clarke looked to the doorway of her cubicle, then back to the paper.  _ A baby isn't so bad. _ Her thoughts wandered to the bright side, and then she couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot. Then she wondered how big Lexa’s smile would be once she figured out that she finally changed her mind after all that time. She was sure that her wife would jump to some unknown planet, then right back.

“Hey, Clarke, you good?” Miller passed right back and stopped to peek into Clarke’s cubicle. 

He saw the head of his department smiling down at her sketchbook, and he had two possibilities why. 1. She was sketching her wife, or 2. she was  _ thinking _ about sketching her wife. 

“Yep.”

Miller raised his brow. (Clarke was slightly jealous at how well done they were). 

“Mind telling me?”

“Maybe a little later if all goes well.” Clarke smiled.

“Okay. See you later. Whaddya say if maybe Jackson and I were able to invite you guys over for dinner sometime?”

“I’m sure Lexa and I would be up to it.”

Miller smiled, “Smiling fits you.”

“Hey! I  _ smile!”  _ Clarke defended herself.

Miller chuckled, “Not really, you look  _ really _ concentrated, and kind of pissed.”

“I  _ do not.” _

“You do.” Miller was starting to break into laughter.

Clarke rolled her eyes with a smirk, “Text me a date to the group chat and I’ll see when Lexa and I can be there, ‘kay?”

The man gave a hum in approval before heading back to his cubicle.

* * *

 

_ What the hell, Lexa?! This was a  _ **_BAD_ ** _ idea.  _ Lexa took the seventh sit-down break in her little trek. Her thighs and calves were starting to feel like weights and they were feeling tight. Lexa groaned, taking off her backpack, then bending down to rub her leg. 

She checked her phone.

 

**4:49pm**

 

Assuming traffic had been good, her wife would be home now. Since Lexa moved fast, she managed to cover a few miles. The journey  _ back _ home would only be worse since she was  _ already _ feeling exhausted. 

 

**Clarke: Babe im home. Where are u?**

 

_ Fuck. _ Lexa looked back in the direction she just came from and took a deep sigh. 

 

**Lexa: went out for a little walk. I’ll be there soon ily.**

 

**Clarke: ooo okay ily and come home safe. I wanna tell you something.**

 

Lexa’s brows furrowed. She sat there wondering what Clarke wanted to tell her. Eager to know, Lexa texted her back. 

 

**Lexa: what do you wanna tell me?**

 

**Clarke: come home. It’ll be better in person. Promise.**

 

It was the response that prompted Lexa to shoot onto her feet and grab her cane. Her heart was racing now. She didn’t even know what was coming, but she was excited.  _ Go home, Lexa. Move your damn feet!  _

The brunette’s heart was racing, and she didn’t understand why she was so excited. But she was. And she assumed that maybe her gut knew more than her head did.

 

**Lexa: k bb. I’ll meet u there.**

  
  


* * *

Lexa sent that text at five. Worried wasn’t an appropriate word. Clarke was petrified. She dialed Lexa’s phone and her wife picked up a few rings after.

“Hey.” 

The reception wasn’t  _ shit, _ surprisingly.

_ “Clarke!” _

“Hey, Lexa. Where are you?” The wanting-to-know was very evident in her voice. 

_ “In the middle of the woods.” _

Clarke scoffed and put a hand on her hip in disbelief, “You’re… you’re  _ kidding.” _

_ “No, babe, I’m not, and I’m lost.” _

“Okay… um.” Clarke was pacing around the front building in search of her shoes. “Um, I think I left the bedroom light turned on, can you see it from where you are?”

There was a pause and Clarke bit her lip. 

_ “Yes!” _

“Oh thank god, you're not far. Lexa, I’m coming for you.  _ Stay  _ put.” Clarke stated. “Do you need anything? Water? A snack?”

_ “No, I’m fine.” _

“Okay, I’m on my way. I love you.”

_ “Love you too.” _

Clarke’s hands were sweating and she didn’t know what to do, except fix her breathing pattern which seemed to have escalated at some point during the phone call. Or was it after an hour of her wife not showing up? The blonde pocketed her phone before heading out of the backyard, through the courtyard, and the fence that surrounded their home. Past the fence, there was nothing  _ but  _ trees and it was getting dark. But she was  _ determined _ to find her wife. 

She wishfully thought that maybe Lexa would have gone forward, so that was the direction she took for the first few feet. The blonde was left with nothing but her own thoughts to swim in as she looked for her wife. (Maybe it was a good thing). And she was getting more and more antsy to tell Lexa that she wanted to start a family with her. Then she realized that she was getting antsy and antsy because under her doubts laid all her wanting for a family with Lexa. 

She couldn’t wait to spend some time getting excited and preparing with Lexa. She couldn’t wait to experience herself and Lexa bonding with a child. She could tell that Lexa would be a great mother. She treated Clem so kindly, and he wasn’t even their child. As she wiped her nose, and the rest of her fingers grazed against her lips, she felt a smile. 

Miller was right.

Smiling  _ looked _ and  _ felt _ good on her. 

“Lexa!” She yelled out as she continued forward.

She wanted to speed up her search. Her cheeks were tingling with excitement. (Or maybe it was because of how hard she was smiling). Regardless, she wanted to tell her wife. The blonde sped up her steps.

“Babe!”

She heard a very  _ faint _ response. To this, she stopped and yelled her name again.

“Lexa!”

Then it was there.

_ “Klark!” _

The blonde smiled. There were so many times where she was so excited to see her wife. And this was one.

“Lexa!” 

Her feet bolted on their own, and her breathing was escalating.

“Lexa!”

“Clarke!” 

Her wife was much closer now.

“Lexa!” 

Then Clarke saw her wife trying her best to run and meet her in the middle. Clarke looked like a happy little kid running to meet someone with her arms out, ready to engulf her wife in a hug. This made Lexa push through, and keep walking forward. She smiled big. Her blonde got to her and hugged her tightly. 

Lexa sighed into her wife’s comfy arms and the much-needed embrace. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Lexa put her hands on Clarke’s shoulder and kissed her.

“You had me worried at home for a second.” Clarke cupped her face.

“Sorry, I just got carried away, and lost.”

Lexa’s feet stuttered when Clarke let her go. The blonde’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“I can give you a little massage if you want when we get home,” Clarke suggested.

Lexa smiled, “That sounds nice. You know, maybe you can tell me what you were going to tell me, while you rub me down.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Clarke put her arm under Lexa’s to give her additional support. “Nothing’s  _ hurting, _ right?”

“No, I can walk.” Lexa insisted with a smile, kissing the side of her wife’s head.

* * *

 

As soon as they were inside the perimeter of the fence surrounding their house, they went straight to their bedroom. Clarke helped Lexa take the backpack off her back, and took her cane. 

“How is it dark now?” Lexa chuckled.

Clarke shrugged, “But I’m glad I found you before all the sunlight went out.”

Lexa kissed her and agreed with a hum. Clarke still hadn’t told her what she promised to tell her. And she was itching to know. (Or maybe it was the mosquito bites). Clarke went downstairs to the bathroom, and went ahead and changed. 

“Um…” Lexa spoke a little louder so that Clarke could hear her. “So, when are you gonna tell me… um…”

Lexa put her pajama shorts on, trying to hang onto the side of the bed for some balance. Clarke reappeared into the room with a small smirk.

“What?” Lexa chuckled at Clarke’s expression. “Are you getting a kick out of it?”

Then Clarke’s smirk turned into some sort of squiggly line. The blonde took Lexa’s hand and urged her to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“Trust me, you’re gonna want to sit for this.” Clarke insisted, curving her lips upwards into a proper smile again.

Lexa was a little more than confused now. Like, her confusion was spilling over. And Clarke could tell based off the expression in her wife’s face. She only smiled harder.

“Hold on, I have something for you.” The blonde rummaged through her purse and looked for her sketchbook. “It’s not that detailed, but you see the idea. Tell me what you see.”

She sat next to Lexa with an arm around her shoulder and rested her head against her wife’s shoulder. With gentle hands, Lexa took the sheet of paper.

The sketch was simple and small to fit the page. Green eyes analyzed it. She could make out her face on the page with a smile. 

“Who’s that?”

She pointed to the smaller person seemingly next to her on the paper. Clarke took her hand once again and squeezed it. As she worked herself up to say it, she felt a swarm of tears behind her eyes.

“Our baby. Our baby that-- we’ll have one day. And you too, of course.” 

A tear spilled from Clarke’s eye, and she could believe how good saying that was. Lexa looked back at her with wide eyes. 

“Are you… are--  _ when _ did you change your mind?” Lexa’s breath was staggering in disbelief.

Clarke shrugged, “I just thought that… as long as I have  _ you, _ it would be okay. We could do this.”

Then Lexa’s cheeks were hurting as she began smiling so hard. 

“Plus, I think it’s about time we try, y’ know? We’re at the  _ prime _ age.”

Clarke tried to keep her tears at bay, but seeing Lexa’s giant smile just… it was a moment where she knew she did the right thing. And a tear glided down her cheek and another couldn’t help but slip out after that. 

“You’re still up to it, right?”

“Yes! God yes!” 

Lexa wiped tears from her wife’s eyes. She looked into bright blue eyes and smiled.

“What do you think about a kid with  _ your _ eyes and my hair?” Lexa said quietly with a small smirk. “Ooh, I’d never be able to say no.”

Clarke chuckled, “I would never be safe if they had your eyes.”

_ “Hey, _ my eyes aren’t as  _ magical _ as  _ yours.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With summer band camp coming up, I have no specific upload schedule, but I will hopefully get some things posted on the weekend. next chapter will be an angsty tough one btw, so keep a look out for it. If you like my story, be sure to leave a kudo and comment as well.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, welcome. This chapter is intense and mature. And there is a mention of miscarriage.

 

**August, 2027**

 

There was no doubt Clarke would carry their child. Pregnancy back pains mixed with MS back pains would not have been a fun experience for Lexa. So, both of them scheduled an appointment with one of the best fertility doctors in Europe, conveniently stationed in France. The longest part of their process was finding someone who looked like Lexa. The brunette insisted that they just needed a man with green eyes and brown hair.

But after a while, she actually found herself going through the list of green-eyed, brunette men, and couldn’t help but see what kind of people they were, and she finally found their man. When she told her wife, Clarke chuckled, and leaned on the countertop, and said,

“Lexa, we’re not solving a crime.”

But she agreed that the choice was good. Their appointment with Dr. Becca was scheduled for August 5th. And now August 5th arrived earlier but welcomed. Lexa picked up Clarke from work (roughly) an hour before the appointment time. Both women were giddy with excitement. 

“My mom’s been blowing up my phone all morning.” Lexa chuckled as her phone went off again.

“Can I see?”

“Sure, try not to cringe?” Lexa chuckled.

Clarke scoffed, “Babe, she’s sweet.” _I’d give anything for Abby to have the balls to talk to me, when it’s not a holiday._

Clarke went to Lexa’s messages. The woman had three group chats and one conversation with her. One with her parents and siblings; _The Woods._ One with her friends which consisted of Gaia, Luna, Anya, Roan, and Lincoln; _Jasper and I are in a gay relationship_ (Gaia titled that). And Lastly one with both of their friend groups altogether, it didn’t have a name, but Murphy and Raven spammed it with their daughter, Diana. 

But no one was complaining about that. 

“Okay, she says….” Clarke tutted her tongue, as she passed by the complaints Anastasia had about Alexander. _“Lexa, I hope you and Clarke get a wonderful family out of all of this, I love you both. Call me when the appointment is over if you have a chance._ Awe, she’s so sweet.”

Lexa smiled a little, “Anastasia is annoying sometimes, but it’s still nice to get a message.”

Clarke nodded in agreement. 

“You know she sent me a name list, right? Swipe up a little, and you’ll find it.”

“She’s _definitely_ helping us with that.”

Clarke read through names on the ride to the clinic and read them out loud. Anastasia really surprised them with names from this century and era. There were no Mary Ann’s or Anna Marie’s suggested, and that was a big plus in their book.

“Not bad, but I wish she had considered any of those names for us when we were little.”

Clarke laughed a little too hard, admittedly at that.

“I really like Margo,” Clarke said after she stopped laughing for a good two minutes. 

Lexa smiled at her blonde, “I like that as well.”

After a while of clearing through the rest of the girl's names, and boys names, and getting halfway through the unisex ones, they found themselves arriving at the clinic. Clarke stared at the building with wide eyes, and her heart was pacing. 

“You excited to start a family?” Clarke said to Lexa with a smile.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Lexa responded as she got out of the car with a giant smile and sweaty palms. 

(She may or may not have gripped the steering wheel of the car a little too hard). She took Clarke’s hand and gave it a squeeze. She was the much more nervous of the two. But having her wife hold her hand, helped her feel slightly more at ease, and she was grateful. 

“I love you,” Lexa said, with a smile, looking down at their intertwined hands. 

“I love you too.”

Both of them went in through the backdoor. For some reason, their _fake Heda’s_ whereabouts were revealed, and people found out that she wasn’t just ‘visiting’ Paris. _Fake Heda_ was a plan Gaia and Jasper made so that the couple could be left alone, and to tip off paparazzi on ‘Lexa’ being in LA, or wherever they felt like she was. The plan failed when people were noticing Lexa in Paris for too long to be considered a ‘vacation’. First, the paparazzi began to follow Clarke, and with all these appointments and meetings and things they had to do, they would often run in with packs of middle-aged men with cameras multiple times a day. It didn’t help that Lexa dropped another single that was doing really good, because everybody was hot on her heels again. 

Lexa just hoped that they would show some common courtesy when their family expanded. She wouldn’t feel comfortable with her wife or child being bombarded by zealots with expensive ass cameras. Lexa looked over her shoulder cautiously, then over the other, and silently sighed in relief when she didn’t see anyone. _It’s fine, I’m just gonna forget about them today._

“Mrs. and Mrs. Griffin-Woods, if I’m not mistaken, right?”

And Lexa zoned right back in.

“Yes, ma’am,” Clarke answered.

She noticed that her wife seemed to be out of it for a second, but she didn’t bring attention to it. 

“Okay, I’m Dr. Gordon, Dr. Becca’s assistant.” She held her hand for both of them to shake with a sharp smile. “You can come follow me to your exam room, and I can go ahead and get you two settled.”

The woman led the two of them through the halls of the clinic. Everything was organized, and the doctors and nurses went about their day as if _Heda_ didn’t just walk into the building, and Lexa relaxed at that thought.

“You okay?” Clarke whispered into her wife’s ear with a speck of concern.

Lexa nodded, “Yes. Are you?”

“Mmm hmm.” Clarke hummed with a smile. 

They followed closely behind the assistant into room 307, which was odd, because, from the outside, the clinic looked smaller. They later figured out that it _wasn’t just_ a fertility clinic, but a women’s healthcare facility altogether. After they got settled in the room, Clarke was sitting on the exam table, and Lexa was sitting in another chair across from her.

“This is _really_ happening,” Clarke said with a big smile on her face.

While her outlook on having a family didn’t change overnight, Clarke was glad that it changed after all. Her and her wife were going to be mothers soon, and time just seemed to go faster than it really was. There was a soft knock on the door and both women straightened up their postures and made cute little smirks at each other.

“This is _really_ happening,” Lexa said as the door began to open.

“Good morning, ladies. I’m Dr. Becca. I’m sure you already met my assistant…”

* * *

The brunette helped her wife into the car. 

“You feel okay?”

The blonde nodded. She was fine. Lexa held her hand throughout the whole process, and her excitement masked the discomfort. Lexa pecked a kiss to her cheek before scurrying to the driver’s seat and hopping in. She rested her hand on Clarke’s flat stomach, and then looked into blue eyes. 

“You excited to know whether or not we’re gonna have a baby swimming in there in a bit?” 

Clarke smiled, “Yeah, very.”

The brunette had picked the blonde up from work. She would return tomorrow for her regular work schedule. That also meant that they didn’t have lunch yet. 

“What do you wanna eat?” Lexa asked before pulling out of the fertility clinic’s parking lot.

“Um… pizza or hamburgers sounds nice.”

Lexa didn’t quite need to verbally express the fact that Clarke read her mind. Because her face basically shouted it.

“Okay,” Lexa said with a smile.

Although the blonde totally sucked at it, she was so damn excited for a baby. She and Lexa agreed that when she was, in fact, pregnant, she would begin to make work arrangements with Russel. 

 _I’m so excited._ Clarke watched Lexa drive, as her smile stayed practically permanent on her face. Lexa looked down at her flat stomach, and all of that excitement just flooded right out of her. 

“I’m _so_ excited, Lex.”

“So am I.”

Lexa reached her hand for Clarke’s and squeezed with a smile. Clarke was excited for all that would come into their lives soon.

* * *

 

 

 

**Mid-October, 2027**

 

 

“Woah.” Lexa’s mouth was agape as she looked at two red lines on the pregnancy test.

Her heart was racing and her breathing was all over the place. _This-- we’re gonna be mothers! I’m gonna be a mom!_ Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and they were close. She exhaled, making her lips into an ‘o’ shape. 

She looked to the next one that Clarke had taken just in case as well. Both of them were _positive._ Then Lexa looked to the third one, _positive_ as well. Clarke was turned around. She wanted Lexa to reveal the results to her. 

“What?” Clarke bit her nails and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

Not to mention the blonde was nervous. The moment was becoming more and more real. Her wife was taking longer than usual to tell her the results of the tests she took.

“What’s wrong?” The blonde clutched the front of Lexa’s hoodie (which she enjoyed wearing) and turned her head to the side. “Do I need to take another one?”

Lexa’s smile only got wider. 

“Nope, it’s pretty clear,” Lexa said in a calm voice, and Clarke couldn’t tell if it was good or bad.

“Lex, tell me.” Clarke was about to turn around if her wife didn’t answer.

The wait was agonizing. And Lexa wasn’t exactly helping very much.

“You’re pregnant. _We’re_ gonna be moms!” 

Clarke turned around with her hands clasped over her mouth in shock, and tears tickling the corners of her eyes. Everything made sense now. Knowing that their child was growing inside now was the best news she would ever receive at this moment. 

“C’mere, Lex.” 

Clarke brought her wife in a warm embrace and kissed her lips. She felt Lexa ghosting her fingers on her stomach. The brunette wiped her tears. Neither of them could believe it. Lexa was _shaking._  

It was almost as if she could feel her heart growing to accommodate all the love she would have for this baby, just like it had when Clarke came into her life. 

“I love you, and this baby so much.”

“Me too. I’m _so_ excited!”

Tears escaped both of their eyes silently, tracing over the corners of their smiles. The brunette swallowed back a sob. 

“We’re gonna be moms, Lex.” Clarke couldn’t help the slew of tears escaping her eyes. “You’re gonna be a mom!”

“You too!” Lexa affirmed with a kiss to her lips. “Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!”

The two of them didn’t quite know how to act with this news, but they knew one thing for certain, and that was how happy they were.

The child they wanted was coming soon.

* * *

 

**End of October, 2027**

 

They were never given a good amount of time to be happy, or even grieve. Clarke had to go back to work with a promotion she had gotten for Lexa and their child that ultimately never got to be. It all went down in such a horrible way, it scarred both of them. 

Clarke and Lexa were in their studios. Lexa was learning a lullaby on her keyboard (one she bought to play especially for their baby), and Clarke was painting flowers of all shades on a canvas, enjoying the music coming together from Lexa’s side with a small smile. However, Clarke was getting ready to start on the roses, when she noticed she didn’t have red on her palette. Lexa was on the 25th measure when she turned to see Clarke on the floor, flushed and clutching her stomach. She also couldn’t tell if it was red paint or blood spilled on the floor.

Dr. Becca insisted that it was no one’s fault. 

Every day afterward when Clarke came home, she never let go of Lexa, and Lexa never let go of her unless necessary. It was as if she was holding onto every minute with Lexa because she didn’t want to lose her too. 

Lexa’s eyes felt heavy. 

But she wasn’t tired, the bags under her eyes were just filling with tears she kept inside. She wanted to be strong for Clarke. 

“Do you want some food?” Lexa whispered, not wanting to disturb the silence.

“No, Lexa, I’m… I’m fine.” Clarke croaked out from her spot against her wife's chest. 

“Okay,” Lexa said kissing the top of her wife’s head and leaning her cheek against it. 

Small sobs wracked through Clarke’s body, resonating through Lexa’s as well. Since marriage, the two were basically one unit. And _right now,_ they were feeling each other’s pain, all on the same level. 

“Shh.” Lexa rubbed her back.

The only thing keeping Lexa from breaking down was knowing that she had to be strong for her blonde. She ran her fingers through Clarke’s hair and breathed into her nose, and out her mouth. She felt her wife’s breathing even out, and her tear ducts fill up more and more. 

_Lexa, this is not the time or place._

The brunette carefully wiggled Clarke off of her and sat on the edge of the bed with her head hung low between her shoulders. She hadn’t been taking her medication for a few weeks either, so even that position was painful. She flexed her fingers and puffed air out through her puffy cheeks. 

Her feet took her on an agonizing trip to the studio. The first thing Lexa did was sit in front of her piano, and just lay her hands on the keys. There was a piece of music sitting on the stand in front of her face. She didn’t care what piece it was, she just played it to drown out the blatant need to cry. So her hands moved. 

A part of herself in the very beginning blamed herself for wanting a child so badly. _If she hadn’t wanted one so bad, this wouldn’t have happened,_ was all she could really think about for the first few hours after receiving the news.

Her eyelids closed, and she let her head flop, as she moved her body to feel the music instead of sorrow. When she opened her eyes, her gaze was directed at the onesie she hung on the wall of her studio. It was the one they would use to announce to the rest of their friends and family. 

 

**Baby Griffin-Woods**

**Coming soon 2028**

 

Lexa immediately shut her eyes and dipped her head down. In the breeze of the moment, Lexa found herself staring at the onesie again. Then she stopped playing. Her breathing became erratic, her pulse quickened, and she just broke down into sobs. 

“What the hell!?” *hiccup* “Why our baby?! They didn’t even-- They-- _why?!”_

Lexa was angry and yelling at whatever god or gods could possibly be watching her. She was pissed. 

“My-- we couldn’t even _hold_ them! What the fuck?!” She slid back the seat forcefully but ended up tipping herself back. 

 _“Sss, ow! Ow! Fuck!”_ Lexa gave up and curled up on her side, allowing Clarke’s scent on her hoodie to keep her company. “Ow.”

Lexa sobbed uncontrollably, letting all of her feelings pour and pour out. A lot of sources she looked up on the internet stated things like,

‘The loss of a child is not the end of the world.’ And Lexa sorely disagreed. Getting the news that their child was no longer growing in Clarke’s womb felt like she had been beaten and mocked. It seemed like her feelings were going to completely drain out. Lexa was on the floor limp and sniffling after she felt no more tears coming out. 

* * *

  _Lexa, get up. Get up! Go to your wife!_ _Get up!_ And Lexa knew that she needed her wife more than she needed the floor. Lexa struggled on the ground. The fall was very bad on her back and a few tears fell out as she held onto a nearby surface for support. _I need to get to my wife._

Lexa walked through Clarke’s section of the studio, (which was since cleaned up), and back to their bedroom. When she appeared at the doorway, Clarke was awake again and had their blanket clutched to her chest.

“Babe.” _I’m here for you._ Clarke’s eyes spoke silently.

Lexa couldn’t help but notice Clarke’s messed up mascara from afar. It made her heartstrings curl painfully. She extended her hand for her wife.

_It’s okay._

Lexa gulped, _But I have to be strong for you._

Clarke’s eyes were a little more persistent, _No, you don’t. It’s my turn to hold you._

And Lexa’s bottom lip quivered as she sank into her wife’s arms. Clarke held her close and tight, warming her up.

“Shhh… we can get through this.”

Hearing Clarke’s voice for the first time in a few weeks. It was a happy and heartbreaking fact.

“It’s _so_ hard, Clarke.” She sobbed. 

Clarke nodded with her cheek against Lexa’s cheek.

“I know, babe.” Clarke’s voice quivered as she tried to keep herself from crying. “And it… _hurts._ I was actually _really_ excited to be a _maman_ , and tell everyone, but--”

“This happened.” Lexa finished before breaking back into another fit of sobs.

“Mmmhmm, and it was so… _sudden._ I wish this was just a bad dream.” _Tomorrow morning we can wake up, and maybe tell each other not to think negatively, and continue on with our lives._

Clarke ran her fingers through long brown locks.

“I was looking forward to holding our little one in a couple of months time,” Lexa said quietly.

She didn’t intend for Clarke to hear it, but the blonde did.

“What made you think it was a girl?” Clarke asked quietly.

“I dunno. I just…” Lexa shrugged. “That name really stuck, so I guess that’s what I called her or _them.”_

Clarke nodded, and held Lexa, and calmed her when she went into another fit of tears. Even saying the name _Margo_ was painful. They stayed in bed for the rest of the weekend holding each other and crying. 

* * *

Lexa let her long slender fingers graze over the detail on the box. Their child’s remains were kept in there, and their name was on the box. Both decided to just go with the gender-neutral name, Angel. _A name fitting for both genders._  

“I love you so much.” _Even though I never got to meet you._

Just like usual, Clarke had left for work, and it was a good amount of time before it would be time for her lunch break. So it was Lexa home alone as usual. The brunette set the box gently on their dresser and wiped a stray tear that found its way on the surface of her cheek. Shortly after the baby was lost, there was a small brochure that got mixed with their mail. Lexa assumed that maybe it was the same Jehovah’s Witnesses that still showed up, no matter how many times she asked to be removed from a ‘call list’. 

(Raven informed her of this ‘call list’). 

But Lexa was interested to see what religious mumbo jumbo they decided to type into the brochure. However, the woman was wrong. And she knew something was definitely wrong when she decided to give it a shot. 

* * *

The building looked so much better since 2019. Lexa couldn’t help but place a hand on one of the pillars. A nun passed by her, offering her a small smile, and slightly inclining her head. Lexa returned the action before entering the cathedral. The brunette’s breath was basically snatched.

Not to mention, she wasn’t quite sure where to sit, and what to do when she took a seat. There were few people scattered in the front seats. Some were bowing. A few inclined their heads in prayer. And some were just kids next to their parents, staring at the altar, seeming to look unsure.

The brunette sat in the back. She had one hand over the other, and she couldn’t help but look around and take in the quiet organ music. There were some bibles on the backs of the seats. _Are they bibles?_ Lexa wasn’t sure. 

She picked up the book and held it in her hands.

Although, according to Lexa, all religions had some things in common. 1. Follow the rules. 2. Or rot in hell. She didn’t quite know much, aside from what she learned in school. And now she was grateful that there was such a thing to give people comfort and hope.

And since they lost the baby, she couldn’t help but think that maybe this was some kind of punishment for her. But being in this place was making her feel like maybe their baby was in a _better place._ That thought in itself was giving her some sense of tranquility.

“Hello, ma’am.” 

Lexa slightly jumped when the nun spoke. She sort of canceled out the world around her for a while.

“Sorry, hi.” Lexa held out her hand. 

The woman looked to be in her mid-30s to early-40s. She had pale skin and brown eyes, her hair of course covered. 

“What’s your name, ma’am?” the woman gently shook it with a small smile.

“Lexa. Yours?”

“Kaylee.” The nun answered. “What brings you here?”

The woman was intrigued. She had never seen Lexa before.

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t even know, but it’s peaceful here.”

“I agree.” The woman slightly nudged her shoulder with a smile. “Coming here after a hectic day is a nice way to cool off.”

“You’re having a bad day already?” Lexa furrowed her brows and chuckled.

The nun nodded, “I’m just going to ask The Lord to give me patience.”

Lexa was confused. _Don’t nuns have God to keep them from having problems?_ Then she realized that it was an ignorant thought to have. The nun clutched her rosary and sort of played with it. But then she sort of looked back at Lexa eerily. 

Almost like she had figured something out.

And Lexa was going to be honest with her thoughts and feelings, she was scared.

“You don’t _believe_ in this, do you?”

And Lexa slightly dodged eye contact for split seconds at a time.

“Um… no, actually.”

And Lexa wasn’t sure if Kaylee was going to kick her out or not.

“Don’t worry, you’re fine. I can tell that you’re slightly unsure. What was your reason for coming here?”

Lexa looked into her eyes, and sort of paused.

“Sorry, did I overstep?”

“No, it’s okay. I just… lost a child. And trying to get over it isn’t easy _at all.”_ Lexa said quietly.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. I could never imagine.” Kaylee gave her a pat on the back.

Lexa pretty much drained all her tears onto a pillow. She just frowned and kept her head down.

“Did you get to say goodbye?” 

Then Lexa’s cheeks began to slightly burn and her eyes looked down at her hands, the first tears began to fall.

“Wanna know why I don’t believe in this?” Lexa’s voice was shaking.

She saw the nun give a small nod through her peripherals.

“Because… what kind of _God_ would take life that didn’t even get to exist, yet? That baby didn’t even get to breathe outside air. Why would he take that opportunity from an unborn baby? And If all that afterlife thing is real, are they in a good place, right now? Can you guarantee me that they aren’t suffering? 

I just don’t understand how you guys can be so happy-go-lucky especially if you believe that bad things happen to those who don’t believe. And they never got to believe in anything because--” And then Lexa started to cry into her hands.

Because this was all too much, and she just _didn’t_ understand.

“Why did God make an innocent person die before even getting the chance to be alive? It feels like I’m being screwed over, here.” Lexa looked back up at Kaylee with tear filled eyes.”I’m sorry, this isn’t what I need, I need my wife.”

Kaylee just looked at her, as if she was trying to keep her eyes from widening. Lexa slid to the opposite end of the seat, trying to just get up and out.

“Yes, I have a wife, Clarke, and she’s the best wife I could ever have, and ever want to have.”

“Lexa, wait, I don’t mind that. You’re you, and you can’t change the way you’re created--”

Lexa stopped at the very end. Kaylee slowly but surely approached her.

“Hey!” 

The voice was loud. But it wasn’t Clarke.

“Lee-lee! What’d I tell you about converting people? It doesn’t work unless they come _to you._ Leave her alone.”

Josephine stormed to the row that Lexa was on. She coaxed Lexa out of the seat and shooed away the other woman. 

“Go away, and stop brainwashing people who aren’t members of this… _cult.”_ Josephine spat out. “Lexa lets go.”

And Lexa was slightly confused with the turn of events. People were turned and looking at them, and Lexa’s cheeks were blush red and streaked with tears. When they got out the double doors, Josephine turned her around.

“You good?”

Lexa let out another sob. 

“I-I- what are you doing here?” Lexa answered instead.

“Oh, when I don’t have to do anything for my dad, I sit in the back. These folks are really sneaky here. I can assume that it’s worse at bigger churches. They tried to convert me before. _Don’t_ fall for it.”

Lexa wiped her tears and sort of leaned on her cane. 

“Damn, I didn’t know.”

“Now you do.”

“But why are you helping me?” _You’re usually rich and annoying._

“Cus’. You and Clarke are good people. You don’t need to be attacked by these bitches. Plus, Clarke told me to check on you. You weren’t home, and as I was driving back, I saw you come in. Thought I’d save you from these people. They only want numbers.”

And all Lexa could do was stare in disbelief.

“Hey, wanna go see her? I know it’s not lunch, but I don’t think my dad would mind, he hasn’t been giving her a lot to do, anyway.”

Kaylee was standing at the big doors of the cathedral.

“Fuck off!” Josephine yelled at her. “May The Lord forgive me on that one. C’mon, Lexa, let's go.”

The blonde stormed off to her car, with a firm middle finger aimed at Sister Kaylee. Lexa looked back at her for a second, giving a shy apology, and gulping. She followed after the blonde.

“O-o-okay, Josephine… let’s try…” Lexa’s breath quivered a bit. “To cool off.”

Josephine hissed through her teeth as she got in her car, and turned it on. Lexa sat in the passenger seat, and let her bag sit on her lap. She was sniffling as she was trying to stop her tears and calm down.

“You know, my mom told me that if you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth like this…” Josephine drove down the street and looked at Lexa with her tongue pressed against the top of her mouth. “See de?”

_Oh god, I’m trapped here with a child._

“Mind if I put on some music?” Josephine adjusted her tongue.

Lexa shook her head negatively. A nice techno-beat took over the radio.

“It’s been years since it came out, but I love it.”

Lexa heard Josephine occasionally say ‘Alors on danse’. And Lexa tried to translate it in her head.

“FYI it means then we dance. Or so we dance. My dad and I used to dance to this when I was younger. It was _the best…”_

Lexa was partially listening to Josephine’s rambling as the car started getting closer to the city. She wanted to get to her wife. But then Josephine silently got the memo, and just stayed quiet. The quiet music was the only thing making a sound. They arrived at The Ark. 

“Thank you, Josephine.”

“No problem.”

Lexa would have liked to believe that she _sprinted_ towards Clarke’s floor and cubicle. But Josephine was well ahead of her.

“Hey, G-W. I have a special delivery for you.” Josephine peeked into her cubicle.

Clarke looked up from her graphing paper where she was sketching.

“From?”

“Me. You’re welcome.” Josephine ran off to her father’s office.

A few long seconds later, Lexa appeared.

“Hi, baby!”

“Hi, sweetheart.”

Lexa _threw_ herself into Clarke’s arms.

“You’re welcome!” Josephine peaked over the wall of the cubicle with a smirk and wink.

Clarke wrapped her arms tight around her wife and nuzzled her face in the crook of her neck.

“I need you,” Lexa said quietly into Clarke’s ear. “This is so hard, and I need you more than anything-- _anyone_ in the whole universe, Clarke.”

“Me too, Lex. Me too.”

Lexa adjusted herself on Clarke’s lap. The blonde’s loving and caring pheromones were in the air around them.

“I love you.”

“Me too, Lexa.”

“I don’t think we should give up on having a family, but I also think that we should wait a little. To… you know...  _heal.”_

And Lexa nodded, sobbing quietly, and clutching her wife close.

* * *

 

**Mid-November, 2027**

 

 _“Hi, Tia! Look, say hi to your aunties!”_ Raven cooed to her daughter, holding her in her lap.

Clarke and Lexa sat on the couch cuddled up, facetiming Raven and her daughter.

“Hi, Daya.” Lexa smiled and waved at her.

_“Tia Lexie!”_

And the women laughed.

“She’s so cute, Rae.”

_“Thanks.”_

_“Mami, mira!”_ Little Diana found filters and was having a blast with trying them out.

Lexa rested her head against the top of Clarke’s, holding her close. Their little niece was just the sweetest.

 _“Yeah, I see. When do you plan to come back here?”_ Raven asked.

The couple looked at each other for a second.

 _“I hope soon! I wanna play with you two!”_ Diana cut in again excitedly.

The couple smiled.

“We wanna hang out with you, too, Daya.” Clarke smiled. “You and your papa and your Mami.”

The almost-three year old smiled. 

 _“We gonna have_ **_so_ ** _much fun, tias!”_

“Yeah.” Lexa chuckled. “So much fun for days, okay!”

The toddler smiled and nodded, her dark brown curls falling in front of her face.

_“Promise?”_

“Promise. Promise, Clarke?”

The blonde nodded, “Promise, Daya. But you have to grow up slow on us, okay? We don’t know when we’re gonna go back and visit, ‘kay?”

 _“Don’t grow, got it, Tia,”_ Diana said with a smile and a thumbs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Diana's age isn't accurate, I totally forgot when she was born but whatever, not that serious. But thanks for reading. If you liked it, be sure to leave a kudo, comment, and stay tuned for the next update. Also, classes are starting soon for me, (band camp tomorrow) so sorry if I can't post once a week on schedule, but know that I'm trying to get something written.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi ya'll.

  
  


**May, 2028**

  
  


_ What if my mind’s just messing with me? What if I’m not really pregnant? What if-- _

“Clarke, are you peeing?”

“Yes, babe.”

Clarke had one pregnancy test. They only had one test left and she just took it. She bought it with the mindset of,  _ if it’s negative the first time, I’m just not pregnant, and we’ll look into something else.  _ When she was done taking the test, she set it on the sink and got up. Lexa was just outside the door, leaning against it, a part of her excited, another part worried about being hurt again.

Clarke joined her outside the bathroom and held her hand tight.

“You know I love you so much, right?” Clarke said quietly.

She tenderly looked at her wife. 

“I do, too.”

Clarke kissed her wife gently on the lips. The whole five minutes, Clarke’s skin would just turn into goose flesh. Like for example, if Lexa got jittery and excited, her skin would randomly call. And she was nervous that maybe Lexa could see the positive result through the crack in the door.

“You wanna look… or… do…” Clarke was nervous.

Her eyes darted continuously from the door, back to Lexa, and back again. 

“Um, I think I looked last time, maybe you should have a turn,” Lexa said with a small shake in her voice.

She looked at the box on their dresser. Clarke looked as well, knowing right where her wife was looking. Her grip on her hands tightened slightly more. Lexa shook her head and focused back on her wife.  _ I’ll take care of the both of them better next time. _

“It’s been five minutes, Clarke,” Lexa said quietly.

And Clarke’s skin crawled again. This was really happening. Her vision seemed to close in on Lexa’s expression. Her wife: green eyes enlarged, her lips curled into her mouth, making a shaky straight line, hair in a ponytail, with the sides slightly out of place from all the pacing, and hands on the side of her head.

“Lexa, I’m scared, babe.”

“Don’t be, I’m  _ right _ out here.” Lexa kissed her and cupped her face.

Clarke paused and nodded, assuring herself more than Lexa, and then walked back into the bathroom. The pregnancy test was on the edge of the sink. She stared at it, and Lexa watched from the doorway, resting her head on the frame. She didn’t realize how excited and eager she was to know the results. 

“So…”

It looked like Clarke was avoiding the test, staring at it from a few feet away. The loss of the baby hurt her and Lexa. And Clarke didn’t want her wife or herself to get hurt again. 

“Babe…” 

Lexa was slightly confused. Did Clarke look while she took out her ponytail, and redid it?

“I’m gonna look.” Clarke exhaled and wiped off her sweaty palms. 

The blonde slowly made her way towards it. She gulped. Lexa went in and took her hand. 

“You look and tell me,” Lexa said.

She rubbed her thumb on the back of her hand. 

“I love you no matter what it says okay?” Lexa said reassuringly to her wife.

Clarke nodded. The blonde looked and her eyes widened, and she sobbed into Lexa’s chest. Neither of them was prepared for the result.

* * *

 

_ “Tias, you guys are coming over finally!?” _ Raven’s three-year-old exclaimed.

“Yeah, Daya.” Both women answered.

The toddler was on cloud nine, at the news.ews she was hearing.

_ “Where are you guys planning to crash?” _

The old place. They ended up letting their friends live in it. And now Gaia and Jasper were occupying the home. 

“The old place,” Clarke answered. 

_ “I’m gonna be so excited, Tias! We can han--” _

_ “Hey, finish your breakfast, Daya.” _ Raven scolded.

The brunette slightly chuckled as she mixed their dinner on the stove. Clarke made her way to the bedroom. But not before sneaking a kiss to her wife’s lips.

_ “So, did you take the test?” _ Raven asked.

Clarke sniffled, “Yeah.”

_ “Sooo…” _ Raven wiggled her eyebrows.

Clarke put her earbuds in immediately. 

“It was negative, Rae.”

_ “Damn, I’m sorry, Clarke.” _

“It’s fine.”

_ “But are you  _ **_sure_ ** _? Did you take another one?” _

Clarke shook her head ‘no’, “I took one, but I mean… if it’s negative the first time…”

A part of Clarke had given up. Like a good 25% had. Raven didn’t understand, but she nodded. Friends didn’t exactly have to agree with everything but she cared for Clarke and Lexa. The subject changed and after a while, Raven had to go help Daya not fall off something. 

Clarke sat on the bed and stared at the box on the drawer with a sad smile. 

“Bye, Rae.”

_ “Bye, Clarke, see you soon. Tell Lexa I said bye as well.” _

Clarke hung up the phone and grabbed the box. She ran her thumb over the surface of it and held it with such tenderness. Like Lexa, she would have moments with  _ them. _ Although Clarke allowed herself time just about whenever she had free time. 

“Hi, Angel. I love you so much. Your mommy and I wish you were here every day. And.... about that brother and sister… I don’t think it was time for them yet. But I’m still sick, so I dunno.”

* * *

“Clarke, are you sure that you’re okay to travel like this?”

The blonde nodded, with her head over the toilet bowl. Lexa dampened a small rag and cleaned off Clarke’s sweat. 

“Yeah, it’s only in the morning, and we travel a little before noon. I’ll be fine by then.”

Clarke answered the same response every time Lexa asked her. And that was an (almost) two-week streak. After Clarke dumped the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl, she sat against the bathroom wall. Lexa was crouched in front of her looking worried (as hell). Clarke smirked.

“What?” Lexa slightly blushed.

“You look worried, babe.”

The brunette scoffed, “Because I  _ am. _ You’re sick, and I care about getting you better.”

Clarke’s eyes said a ‘thank you’ all on their own, “I love you, Lexa.”

“I love you too.” Lexa kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back with some water.”

And Lexa returned and sat on the ground next to her wife.

“Thanks, Lex.”

“No problem, Clarke.”

The blonde rested her head on her wife’s shoulder and drank the water in small sips. The two women linked hands and didn’t twice to maybe why Clarke could be this ill, other than that, it was a possible virus. Nonetheless, they were still going to America in a week.

“You excited to see everyone?” Lexa nudged her wife playfully. 

Clarke chuckled nudging her Lexa right back, “Yeah, you?”

Lexa nodded. When she toured, she never had a chance to formally stay with them. In fact, it was a day at most. So she was glad to have eleven days with their family and friends. 

“Mmm-hmm.”

Clarke could see right through the fact that Lexa was excited. 

_ “Mmm-hmm.” _ Clarke pinched her cheek and kissed it.

“Ew… vomit breath.” Lexa pretended to be disgusted when she was really overflowing with love for this woman.

_ “Hey!” _ And Clarke pretended to be offended. 

Clarke (still pretending of course), turned around and folded her arms. Lexa just put her arms around her and kissed her cheek. 

“Brush your teeth, and then we can  _ actually _ kiss.” Lexa’s cheeks flushed as Clarke giggled.  __

* * *

 

“Hmm, it says we could get there in about twenty minutes.”

Clarke slightly bobbed her head, “Not bad.”

“Right? Daya’s gonna combust when she sees us.”

The toddler didn’t know they were coming today. (Mostly because Raven didn’t want to deal with an annoying toddler). Their uber arrived and Clarke helped Lexa get their luggage in the trunk. The ride was nice, and a bit anxious. Both girls were excited to see their friends. 

 

**AllHellBreaksLooseInThisChatroom**

 

**Raven: Are you close?**

 

**Raven: All of us are here**

 

**O: Roger that.**

 

**Anya: you guys better be close, or I will come get you myself**

 

**Luna: cool off, Anh.**

 

Both women looked at each other and laughed. Sooner than they noticed, they pulled into the driveway of their old home. Gaia and Jaser were living in the home. Both women insisted that it was good on so many levels. Gaia and Jasper didn’t have to be cooped up in The Sorority House (where Clarke’s group of friends ‘squatted’).

Plus, after a while, they didn’t trust that someone wasn’t going to destroy their old house. The drive to their town was nostalgic. If anything, it was the perfect moment for Lexa’s song to be playing. Ironically, the radio began playing it and both wives stared at each other. Lexa was the one who drew her wife in with her arm, looking lovingly into her eyes.

“Thank you, sir.”

“No problem, ma’ams. Have a good day.” 

He took the money, and both women got their things out from the trunk. The car drove away, and they both went up to the porch. Lexa rung the doorbell. There was a faint patter of feet on the other end.

“Mami, I’m gonna open. That okay?” It was obvious that the owner of the tiny voice was Daya.

After some clicks of the doorknob, there was a tiny gasp.

“Tias!” Daya jumped up and down with a giant smile on her face. 

She went for the legs when she opened her arms. Lexa’s smile was big, as she tried her best to return the hug, in such a way where she wouldn’t hurt.

“Hi, Daya!” 

The blonde crouched down to pinch the girl’s cheek. She was a nice combo of her parents. She had her father’s fairer skin tone, her mother’s face (basically copy and pasted), and her own little smile. 

“Tia Clarke!” 

Clarke couldn’t resist scooping her niece up into her arms. 

“Hi, sweetie!” The blonde greeted.

The girl rested her head on her aunt’s shoulder. Clarke could feel the toddler’s heart beating out of control. She couldn’t help but notice that the toddler was excited to see them for the first time. 

“Clexa?” Gaia appeared at the door with a smirk.

“What?” Lexa said full of confusion before her friend brought her into a hug. 

“Clarke!”

Despite little Daya being there, Gaia still squeezed her friend’s wife (her other friend).

“Hey, Gai. Wow, you’ve…”

Clarke was trying to find a word. But Gaia looked the same, just slightly taller. Same haircut, minimal makeup, it was obvious she was wearing Jasper’s clothes as well.

“Evolved.”

The girl chuckled, “Thank you. So have you. Although I see more progress on your end. I knew marriage looked good on the both of you.”

She turned to nudge Lexa. Just at that moment, the rest of their friends barreled to the front door.

“This is gonna be fun,” Lexa said genuinely.

* * *

 

On the screen, Clarke could see the focus in her wife’s eyes.

“You gonna be okay, Tia?”

Daya, Raven, Gaia, Clarke, Octavia, and Jasper were scattered around the couches of the living room. Murphy was cooking in the kitchen, occasionally poking his head in to see the television screen. Clarke nodded. 

“You don’t have that stomachache anymore?” Gaia asked.

Lexa pretty much forced her to take care of her. And Gaia said yes because she was half asleep.

“No, it wore off, but I’m kinda tired.”

“Okay, good. If you need anything tell me.” She clicked her tongue and made a funny finger-gun.

The girl giggled when her boyfriend began to kiss her neck. Three pairs of eyes widened and looked in that direction. 

“Thanks, Gai.” Clarke smiled.

She wasn’t bothered much by the kissing, though. Octavia whispered something in Gaia’s ear which caused the girl to giggle and whisper something back.

“Fine, but you’re just lowkey jealous.” 

Gaia and Jasper left in a fit of giggles. The three remaining women looked at each other. Daya was too distracted by the interview to care. Raven bopped the volume up a little more. 

Daya looked back to see her aunts and mother laughing quietly between themselves.

“Why you laughin’?” Daya’s brows furrowed.

Telling a toddler that her aunt and uncle had practically gone to jump each other’s bones.

“Lexa said something funny.” Octavia played it off so good. 

Raven and Clarke  _ owed _ her in her mind. Daya’s head just shot back to the tv.

“And you made me miss it, Tia!”

Raven thought Octavia’s idea was novel until Daya was pissed that she couldn’t rewind the show. The little brunette scowled at her aunt. And Clarke saw so much of Raven in that little girl. 

“I’m sorry, Daya.” 

Octavia tried to squish her cheeks, but the girl swatted away.

“I don’t forgive you.”

Raven and Clarke were in stitches. They nearly missed a part of the show because of the little scene unfolding in front of them. 

“Heda, if there was one thing you would change about all of… your life now… what would you change?”

Clarke’s focus was back on the tv, and she leaned forward to not miss a thing. Clarke had helped Lexa practice answering these questions. It wasn’t often that she did interviews, and the blonde said that she could help her. Lexa curled her lips in and slightly blushed.

“I would have wanted to meet my wife sooner. I would have wanted more time with her, all the time I could get with her I would take.”

And Clarke blushed and smiled so hard, tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. Lexa didn’t answer that. In fact, now that Clarke thought of it again, she remembered how hard Lexa smiled and blushed. The same way she did when she had something up her sleeve, and played it off with something else.

“Aww, that’s so cute!” Daya exclaimed.

The women laughed and a single tear passed Clarke’s cheeks. She really was grateful for this woman. Octavia patted her back.

“You really hit the jackpot. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it so many times.”

“Yeah.” Clarke sniffled with a smile on her face.

Lexa had the biggest smile on her face as the audience exclaimed and made whooping sounds. She looked around until she caught sight of the camera lens, and smiled directly into it. Clarke smiled so hard into Lexa’s eyes as well. 

Daya encouraged Clarke too, “Awww!”

* * *

 

“Tia! Lexa’s home!” Daya ran up to her aunt at the door. “Tia, we saw you on the t.v.!”

Lexa picked up the girl with one arm and leaned on her cane with the other.  

She smiled at her niece, “Thank you, Daya. Where is everyone?”

“Outside, eating. Madi and Aden here too!”

The little girl wiggled out her aunt's arm, and took Lexa’s hand, leading her to the back porch. 

“Lexa!”

“Lexa!”

“You gay baby!”

“Lexa!”

“Heda!”

“Baby!”

Daya let go running into her father’s arms. 

“Hi.” Lexa greeted everyone as she made her way to her wife. 

“Man, you’ve gotten so big, Mads.” Lexa hugged her little sister, and held onto her by the shoulders, analyzing her. 

Madi’s style didn’t really change. However, unlike herself, the girl liked everything tight and bright. Her hair was at her shoulders, definitely trimmed recently. There was a lot of Anastasia in those two sisters. 

“I could say the same about you, but… we’re the same height now.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you’re not funny.” Lexa hugged her sister again. “I missed you, Mads.”

“Me, too.” 

Aden was next in line to give Lexa a hug.

“How has every single sport been going for you?” Brother and sister did their little handshake.  

Aden nodded with a smile, “Good. How is every single music-related thing going for you?” 

“Good as well. You and your girlfriend doing good?”

Aden nodded, “But she’s got work until four, so that’s why she’s not here.”

“Nice, glad you’re catching girls and keeping them.” Lexa rustled his hair with a proud smile.

Lexa greeted Anya, Luna, and Nyko. For god’s sake, Lincoln tossed her over his shoulder like a football or a stereo. Lexa chuckled as she was set down.

“I missed you all too.”

Lexa took the high-five from Octavia, and the pat on the back from Raven.

“Thanks. Where are Gai and Jas… you know, nevermind.” Lexa dismissed it with a chuckle.

Raven scooted over, to give Lexa space to sit next to Clarke. There was something about Clarke that made her  _ glow, _ and Lexa was enjoying it. 

“Hi, gorgeous.” Lexa leaned down and kissed Clarke before sitting down next to her.

“Oooh!” Madi pointed at her sister and sister in law as they kissed.

Lexa swatted her hand away in Madi’s direction. 

“What you said… that was so sweet.” Clarke smiled as they parted.

For some reason, Clarke was feeling emotional as well, but she kept her tears at bay. 

“Thanks. I was hoping you would watch the broadcast.” 

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my wife.” Clarke gave her hand a little squeeze.

Lexa shrugged, “You were icky and asleep this morning when I left, so I figured you would sleep for a few hours.”

Clarke nodded in understanding, “But I woke up in time to see it.”

“I’m glad you did,”

“Lexa, have some meat.” Murphy offered her a plate of steak, grilled vegetables, and salad.

Lexa took the plate eagerly, thanking him. They all talked and ate together on the back porch... Some of them talked to each other. And some people caught up with Lexa and Clarke. They had roughly three days left in The States.

So everyone was trying to get in as much time with the couple. Clarke felt her phone buzz against her leg as she was eating chips. 

 

**Abby: Hello, Clarke since you are here, I wanted to see if you were available for dinner on saturday with your father, Lexa and I.**

 

Clarke’s jaw physically dropped. Lexa chuckled at a joke and turned her head to see Clarke’s expression. 

“What’s wrong?”

Clarke didn’t exactly know how to answer. She just handed Lexa the phone and insisted she read the text. Afterward, Lexa looked back at her wife.

“Do you not wanna go?”

Clarke shrugged, “But I do want to see my dad. You  _ would _ go with me, would you?”

“‘Course I would if made you feel better.”

Clarke gave her wife a thank you with her eyes. She wasn’t sure if dinner with her parents alone would be safe. But it was worth a shot. 

Later on in the day, Lexa’s siblings left after a while. The day got darker. Raven put on some better music. Classic early 2000s hits. Everyone was on their feet and dancing with the exception of Anya, Lexa, and Clarke.

As soon as the beat started to play loudly, Daya jumped slightly. 

“Hey, you okay?” Lexa asked. 

The toddler sat up and squinted.

She wiped her eyes, “Tia, I’m tired.” 

Lexa extended her arms for the little girl. Daya let herself be picked up, and she relaxed in her aunt’s arms. 

“Aww, you tired, Daya?” Clarke smiled at her niece. 

The girl nodded. Her eyes were drooping closed. Lexa just held her close. The brunette had to admit that she enjoyed holding a small human. Clarke looked at Lexa and smiled. 

Seeing how gentle she was with someone else’s child just made her imagine how good of a mother Lexa would be one day. 

“What?” Lexa looked up at her wife.

“Nothing. You’re just cute.”

Lexa assumed that maybe because of Daya, the music would have been slightly lowered, but no, Raven herself turned it up a few more notches. Daya stirred, and rested her head in the crook of Lexa’s neck. Lexa had to admit, whenever they finally got that baby of theirs she would enjoy holding them.

“Need me to take her for you?” Raven offered. 

Lexa shook her head ‘no’, “She’s fine.”

“You guys were attached on the phone, and now as well, wanna adopt her?” Raven joked.

As much as Lexa would have said yes, she knew it was a joke. She and Clarke chuckled it off. Lexa took a sip of her drink and laughed when Murphy nearly fell, taking Raven down with him. It would be a tad bit hard to say goodbye to their friends again. 

* * *

 

  
  


**A Week Later**

  
  


Clarke and Abby…

They were…

...getting  _ better. _ Since dinner, the two women called much more often. Their relationship wasn’t completely repaired, there were still some bumps in the road, but both women agreed to work through it. 

_ “Clarke, you should at least consider an appointment with Becca.” _

“But you  _ really _ think I could be…”

_ “Clarke, you had a glow that night, which wasn’t from makeup. You’ve had clear morning sickness. I’ve seen many signs of this, Clarke. You took an at-home test, right?” _ The doctor 

“Yes, negative.”   

_ “Did you take another in case?” _

“No.”

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. And Clarke just didn’t understand why everyone was so upset with her not taking a second test. She just didn't want to be hurt again.

After the pause, Abby cleared her throat and spoke again,  _ “Clarke, as your… mother, I am suggesting you make this appointment. Soon. That way we can figure out what’s going on. But I’m sure you’re pregnant.” _

* * *

 

“I’m glad I could get this appointment in,” Clarke said. 

Dr. Becca chuckled, “We haven’t really been busy yet in this facility. So, we pretty much have a free for all schedule.”

The woman logged into the desktop in the corner as Clarke fumbled with her hands on her lap on the exam table. 

“You took the urine and blood samples earlier, correct?” Becca scrolled and Clarke was slightly curious about what she was looking at.

“Yes.”

Clarke had never wanted to know these results so much. She was just hoping for something good to come out of this. A child. A sweet baby for her and Lexa to raise together. 

“I’m gonna do an ultrasound if you don’t mind as well. Lie down for me please, unbutton your pants a bit, and lift your shirt slightly for me please?”

Clarke hummed in agreement as she laid back and followed Becca’s directions. She didn’t understand why her pulse had elevated, but she was definitely anxious to get an answer. The brunette applied some cold gel to Clarke’s stomach, and wave the wand on it. Clarke gulped.

Bacca moved the wand to a certain spot on her stomach when there was a steady thumping rhythm.

“There’s the heartbeat.”

And Clarke burst into tears, they were definitely happy ones, and Clarke could feel her heart swell to accommodate the love she would have for this baby.

* * *

 

“Lexa, I need to tell you something.”

Clarke walked into the home zipping through the front building. In the car, her mind was racing about how to tell Lexa this news. 

“Babe!”

Lexa wasn’t in the kitchen. Clarke quickly walked through the courtyard. She hoped that Lexa didn’t get lost in the woods again. 

“Baby! Lexa!”

The girl took the turn to the studio before she would decide to go upstairs. Low and behold Lexa was there playing on her keyboard. She stopped and smiled when her wife appeared in the doorway. 

“Hey.” Lexa smiled.

Clarke bent down slightly to kiss her. 

“Hi.”  _ Tell her now. _ “I need to tell you something.”

“Work?”

“No, but I promise it’s good.” Clarke insisted.

The blonde took her hand and massaged her own thumb over the back of her hand. 

“What is it?” Lexa was getting a little more curious by the second. 

She could see a glint in her wife’s eyes, and she could tell that Clarke was right. Clarke just looked down at their hands before exhaling.

“Lexa, I’m pregnant.” Clarke looked up with a smile.

Lexa’s jaw dropped, and she just scooted back, nearly causing the keyboard to hit the ground. In an instant, her eyes filled to the brim with tears.

“Oh my-- you’re serious?!”

Clarke nodded, “I got an appointment. Becca says I’m 8 weeks. Don’t worry I didn’t really get a sonogram, I wanted you to be with me when I got it.”

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke and buried her face in the crook of her neck.

“God I’m so happy, Clarke.”

“Yeah, me too.”

A tear couldn’t help but pass Clarke’s face. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Lexa’s hand snaked gently onto Clarke’s belly where their child was growing. The blonde’s stomach was flat, but she was hoping that one day it would swell bigger and bigger with their child. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope you liked it. Sorry if the last section was inaccurate. But yes. Be sure to comment thoughts or questions. And leave a kudo.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall got two chapters today uwu.

  
  


**June, 2028**

  
  


Getting past the 12-week mark was something both women were really cautious about. Clarke tried not to work herself up anymore, and Lexa was on her toes, helping when it was and wasn’t necessary. It was a nice weekend. Both women just decided to sleep in. Lexa woke up a bit earlier.

The brunette stayed in bed, not really having any motivation to get up and get some breakfast. She just stayed in bed with her wife. In her sleep, Clarke just ran her hand up and down the back of Lexa’s neck. 

“Mmm.” Clarke hummed.

The woman smiled as she inspected Clarke’s facial features as she usually did. It wasn’t new, but Lexa found it a calming thing to do. She loved it all. When she saw Clarke’s brows furrowed, she silently awed. She wondered what Clarke was dreaming about.

Or whether or not she was dreaming at all. 

The blonde stirred, and her arm down to Lexa’s back. She hummed again. Clarke burrowed her face in the crook of Lexa’s neck and sighed deeply.

“Good morning, Lex.”

“Good morning, Clarke.”

Lexa adjusted herself to put her arm around Clarke. The blonde’s breath hitched a bit.

“You don’t plan to get up do you?” Clarke asked looking up at her wife. 

The two locked gaze and Lexa shook her head ‘no’. Without a response, it was still evident from how cozy both were in the warm covers. It wasn’t too hot or too cold, but the two of them were tangled within each other and that was good enough. Clarke just smiled and returned her head to its previous position. Lexa ran her thumb around Clarke’s side, occasionally touching the side of her stomach. 

She adjusted her head on her pillow, “Is the baby okay?”

Clarke nodded, “Feels like it.”

The brunette just pressed her lips as if to say ‘that’s good, I’m relieved’. Clarke was happy as well. She tucked a strand of messy blonde hair behind her wife’s ear. After a while, it seemed that Clarke was back out of consciousness. The quiet calm moment was nearly putting Lexa to sleep as well. 

* * *

 

“Clarke, how are you feeling?”

Lexa was wiping down the chalkboard with a wet wipe. She was filling out the little chart to document how far along Clarke was, the size of their child, and how the two of them were feeling. She grabbed the chalk marker and wrote down  _ 13 weeks. _ Clarke was in her underwear and bra walking to the closet in search for a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. 

“Um, happy, nervous… happy.”

Clarke lifted Lexa’s chin and kissed the top of her head. 

“You?” Clarke quickly kissed her lips. 

“Happy, excited, I wanna meet them soon.”

Lexa wrote it down when Clarke went to go get dressed. She hung it back on the wall. Clarke chose a pair of joggers, and a tie-dyed shirt. She turned to the side and looked in the mirror. Her stomach had a slight bump to it. 

“Clarke, can you pick my clothes for me, please?”

Clarke poked her head out the closet, and her mouth made an ‘o’ shape. Lexa did let her choose her clothes, but the brunette failed to mention that it was because she didn’t know how to style herself. 

Lexa sighed, “Fine, I don’t have style, but jeans and a shirt will always be a top outfit choice.”

Clarke chuckled and looked around Lexa’s side of the closet and chose comfy pants and a shirt as well. Clarke snickered as she approached Lexa. 

“Ew! Are you trying to kill me with sweatpants?”

“No! But you do need to get dressed.” Clarke handed her wife the clothes. 

“Isn’t this a good outfit? Like  _ good _ style?” Lexa sort of posed on the bed.

Clarke just broke out in laughter, “Oh my god, Lexa.”

The brunette eventually laughed at her own stupidity before finally dressing. Clarke slapped her ass and made her way to the kitchen.

“I’m making breakfast, or should I call it breakfast for dinner?”

“We should call it a good Saturday idea! Hey, no, babe, I can do it, sit!”

Lexa skipped grabbing her can and caught up to Clarke before she could even grab a cooking appliance.

“Hey!” The blonde exclaimed when Lexa stopped her from opening the cabinet.

“Sit, relax.”

“Lexa, I can make eggs and waffles just fine.” The blonde insisted.

Both women had a mini stare off.

“Fine!” Lexa lifted both hands up in surrender. “But I’m making the tea.”

“Okay,” Clarke said finally grabbing the pan she was using for the eggs. “Sunnyside up or scrambled?”

“Scrambled,” Lexa answered filling the teapot with water. “What kind of tea?”

“I’ll drink what you’re having.” 

Clarke always answered that, but Lexa knew that Clarke liked the honey lemon tea. So she made sure to make it. Clarke was next to her on the stove stirring the eggs, and the waffles were heating up in the toaster shortly after. Days like this were one of the things Lexa enjoyed. And now that her wife was pregnant, she loved it a little more. 

The food was done before the tea. Lexa returned from the kitchen with the teapot and two mugs. Both women sat in the courtyard to eat and enjoyed the view of the birds flying around their backyard, and a random cat sleeping on the fountain. Clem swung by, and the three of them started to assemble a 1000 piece puzzle. They never got close to finishing it, but it was fun. 

Every day, the two were looking forward to the day they would finally meet the new addition to their family.


	28. Chapter 28

  
  


**August, 2028**

  
  


“Congratulations on your son.”

Lexa literally jumped from her spot next to Clarke holding her hand. Clarke’s jaw dropped.

“Yes!”

Totally forgetting that Clarke now owed her a foot rubbing, Lexa was excited to meet their boy. More excited than before, and she never thought that could be possible.

“Now we can start  _ actually _ finding names for him,” Clarke said from her spot in the room. 

“I take it you would like several copies of the sonogram?” Becca quirked her brow with a small smile.

It was always happy seeing couples so excited about the expansion of their families. But she had to admit she was a tad happier about these women.

“Yes, please.”

* * *

 

  
  


**Late-August, 2028**

  
  


“Damn, my body feels high.” Lexa was sprawled on the bed with her limbs extended and taking up all the space.

She felt no pain, and she hoped it wasn’t going to last only when she was laying down. Clarke was rushing to get ready for work. 

“...and my body feels bloated,  _ thanks _ to  _ your _ son.”

“Hey!” Lexa lifted her head up. “You know you love him too!”

Clarke had to be honest as well, “I do because he’s my boy. And I love him.”

“I want to acknowledge that you’ve also ordered  _ a lot _ of clothes for him,” Lexa added sitting up.

It was funny because, in the beginning, Clarke was sort of shocked that it was a boy, but it was evident that she loved that boy more than herself. 

“I have,  _ so…?” _

Lexa shrugged, “I’m glad you love your son. Now don’t be late.”

“Kiss?” Clarke puckered her lips.

If it were up to Lexa, she would’ve never mentioned the ‘going to be late’ part, and she would have a long makeout session with her wife. Yes, Clarke was irresistible in panties and her blouse. Yes, Lexa was very much on cloud nine today, but there was always another time to jump each other's bones. 

“Mmm.” Lexa hummed into the kiss. “Love you. Have a good day.”

The brunette had a high smile when they parted.

“Okay, you too. I’m thinking… whatever you’re having.” Clarke was running her fingers through Lexa’s hair. 

Lexa looked up to her with a smile, “And I shall deliver to my baby _maman.”_  

“Thanks. I’m gonna get my pants, and I’ll see you for lunch.” 

Lexa silently watched as Clarke put on her maternity dress pants, and buttoned them up, and turned to one side, then the other to model them for herself in the mirror. The blonde chose her usual dress shoes. The usual heels from before she was pregnant were actually hurting her a lot more, so she went for flats since then.

“Bye.” Clarke basically flew out of the house, because she would  _ actually _ be late soon.

“Bye.”

Lexa sat for a few seconds before turning her head.

“Hey Alexa, play Devil Woman by Cliff Richard.”

As the song started, Lexa got up and sort of did a little dance. Before doing anything else, she made sure that Clarke got out the driveway okay. Both women agreed that hitting another car would be best. Clarke would actually be able to get to work on time, as opposed to missing a train or bus. The song pretty much played throughout the whole home, and she loved it. 

The brunette felt young and flexible today if that couldn’t be stressed enough. The brunette’s playlist just played away as she changed into swim trunks and a swim top. It was still warm enough to swim in their neck of the woods, so she thought _ why not? _ The brunette ran out through the courtyard. She and Clarke had taken several dips in the pool throughout the summer.

(It was a lot of hanging onto each other for balance and laughing). Still, fun nonetheless. The brunette dove straight into the pool without a pause or anything at all. She laughed and giggled. God, she felt like she was five. 

The brunette floated on her back and exhaled.

“This is good.”

Lexa would float for an hour and a bit more before starting on lunch so it would be ready to take to Clarke.

* * *

 

“Woah, so can you feel him kick around yet, or is he just chillin’?” Miller asked from the doorway of the cubicle.

Clarke chuckled a bit. Miller was completely unfamiliar with pregnancy, not just because he was a man, but because he hadn’t really invested himself to learn the facts.

“He kicks, but not a lot,” Clarke answered. “Your boys been doing okay?”

Miller nodded, “Jackson and I are gonna be finalizing the adoption soon. Maybe we could get those three guys a playdate when your little guy is old enough.”

Clarke smiled and nodded. Miller pointed back in the direction of his cube.

“Gotta go.”

“‘Kay. Hey, you wouldn’t mind dinner sometime, would you? You can bring the boys and Jackson.”

“Sounds nice, text me the time.” Miller made finger guns and made the trip back to his cubicle. 

It was officially time to break for lunch, so the blonde pulled up Netflix on her computer and kicked off her shoes. Not even a few seconds later she heard a gentle ‘hi’. 

“Hi, Lex.”

Lexa leaned down to kiss her and rubbed her belly. In her other hand was a bag with the lunch she made. She pulled the chair out for herself and sat. Lexa pulled out the juice, handed Clarke her pasta, and pulled her feet onto her lap. 

“I remembered the oil, so we won’t have to use your lotion. Eat up, Maman.” Lexa grabbed the massage oil from the bag.

“You’re not eating?” Clarke asked before opening the top of the container.

She nor her wife were accustomed to eating before the other. There was an invisible ‘no lone eater’ rule in their home. However, Clarke’s legs were a little sore and swollen from the pregnancy, and Lexa wanted to help out whenever she could. 

“In a bit, I wanna pamper you first.” The brunette insisted. “Eat, I know you two are hungry.”   
The corner of her lip curled up at the comment. That just made it more  _ real. _ The fact that their baby boy had four more months to grow inside of her before she could see him. And she was so ready for it. Every day she grew more excited about the day she would be able to hold him and love him. 

Clarke opened the container and she moaned at the aroma. 

“Yes, the two of us are hungry, and we are thanking mommy very much for the food.” Clarke rubbed her belly when she felt a few kicks.

Lexa chuckled, “You’re welcome.”

Clarke happily ate while rubbing her belly. Lexa enjoyed caring for her wife like this. 

“Swear, I’m always hungry,” Clarke mumbled. 

Lexa smiled and pinched her wife’s cheek. 

_ Christ, she’s so cute. _

Lexa rubbed her thumbs on the arch of her foot causing Clarke to sigh and lean her head back. The brunette looked up at her.

“Do I rub a bit more?” she asked, although she didn’t stop her movement.

“No, thanks, babe. They feel better. Come eat with me, mommy.”

“Okay, what I said was innocent. You’re making it a kink.” Lexa chuckled.

She sanitized her hands before eating with Clarke.

* * *

Clarke had come home horny. And Lexa was scared. It wasn’t the topic of sex itself, but rather, the baby. As far as Clarke, she wanted it rough, and Lexa didn’t want him hurt. 

“Lexa, you’re feeling good. You could put on the cock and fuck me! Please!” Clarke let out a small moan right after she finished talking.

Her fingers were rubbing her pussy as she and Lexa bickered. Lexa just exhaled. 

“Fine. To the bedroom.” Lexa pointed putting both her hands on the back of Clarke’s shoulders and nipping at her neck as they walked. 

“To the bedroom.” Clarke moaned.

Lexa took her hand out her pants to keep her from reaching orgasm. The first thing Lexa did was make Clarke sit on the bed. The strap on wasn’t hard to find since they used it (not too frequently). The focus for Lexa was to make her Clarke feel good. Once all of the pieces of clothing on Clarke’s body were removed, the brunette connected their lips. 

Lexa fondled the blonde’s sensitive breasts. 

“God, Lexa you’re  _ still _ dressed?” Clarke stopped Lexa for a split second to at least remove her shirt and pants. 

“Better?” Lexa asked as she moved to take off the rest of her clothes (bra and underwear). 

“Much much  _ much _ better.” Clarke pulled her back in. 

They could last hours kissing they wanted too, but that wouldn’t exactly get either of them off. 

If Lexa had to admit, the horniness had hit her the second Clarke asked to be bedded. And knowing that she would be the one pleasuring her, was only making her a bit nervous. She wanted to do it right for Clarke. 

Clarke reached to the side and grabbed the strap to place it on Lexa’s waist. Lexa pulled her lips away to watch how Clarke was gentle and not hasty to put it on. Blue eyes looked up seductively, and Lexa’s hips couldn’t help but jerk forward. The stimulator hit her clit in a way she wasn’t expecting. With her wife so hot and needy and her adrenaline-boosting up, Lexa was sure she would cum with a good couple thrusts. 

“Lay back, okay?” Lexa was on her knees at the end of the bed. 

When Clarke got settled and her legs opened, Lexa’s mouth was watering just for Clarke’s pussy. 

Clarke’s fingers were massaging her clit slowly. Not needing to be asked, Lexa leaned in to move Clarke’s hand away and put her mouth where her fingers just were. Clarke’s back arched and she let out a shuddering breath. Clarke wasn’t as vocal during sex as Lexa was. Lexa shoved her tongue into Clarke’s sex hole and finally got the blonde to give out a little squeal. 

Clarke tasted amazing to Lexa.  _ Perfect. _ Lexa dragged her tongue out, and gave a flat lick up Clarke’s clit, making the blonde buck her hips. Lexa gave Clarke another tentative lick before sucking her clit into her mouth. 

“Oh my god!” 

_ Thank god for making her sensitive! _ Lexa couldn't help but smile around the bud as Clarke broke apart above her. Then she came. It was a silent cry of pleasure and Lexa knew that she would have to fuck Clarke with the cock sooner or later, but she preferred soon.  _ Very _ soon. 

Lexa settled the tip of the strap on at Clarke’s wet entrance. Her arms were at either side of Clarke’s torso. Green eyes protectively looked into Blues for approval to thrust in. Clarke gave her a nod. 

“Tell me when it’s too much, kay?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded. Both women were staring into each other’s eyes as the first inches sunk in. Clarke let out a moan. 

“More, Lex,” Clarke said craning her head upwards to catch Lexa’s lips. 

Lexa managed eight inches until Clarke put a hand on her belly indicating for her to stop.

“Now I get why you like this so much. You can mo…”

Clarke moaned when Lexa began to pull out some inches and thrust back it a little hard. The friction on her clit made her moan deeply. 

“Faster, Lexa.” 

Not needing to be asked anymore about this, Lexa hammered all that Clarke could take into her wet cunt. Clarke’s lower half was fluttering with pleasure. She couldn’t believe how good this felt at the moment. However, when Lexa began to put attention on her tits again, she stood corrected.   

“Ah! Mmm, that’s so damn good, babe!” 

* * *

 

Lexa felt the blonde in her arms wiggle out her grasp. Clarke pulled on some underwear, sweats, and a baggy shirt. Her stomach was growling for food. Or maybe it was the baby. Possibly both. 

She went to the kitchen in the middle of the night for the fourth night of the week. Before then, it was hugely unlikely that she would get hungry at these hours. She felt another aggravated kick from the baby, and she put a hand right where it was.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m looking for something, son.” She spoke rubbing soothing circles.

Clarke took out a bag of chips and began eating, but she was still hungry, and the baby was still kicking. 

There were footsteps entering the back door of the front building, and Clarke looked up to see her wife, cane in hand.  _ Must have tired her out. _

“You hungry?” Lexa pulled up her basketball shorts. 

__ Clarke nodded with wide eyes. 

“What do you want, I could make you something or go get you something.”

Lexa slowly approached, and put both hands on her waist, while Clarke set down the bag of chips, and rested her arms on her shoulders. 

“What do my two favourite people wanna eat?” Lexa kissed the top of Clarke’s head.  

Clarke shrugged and thought of something.

“Something spicy sounds good. Maybe Asian?”

“Oh, the place that’s open 24 hours?” 

Clarke nodded. Lexa pulled her pants up again and grabbed the car keys.

“Babe, sit, I’ll be back with the food in a bit.” Lexa insisted she sit down on the couch and relax.

“Thanks, be safe, baby girl.” Clarke kissed Lexa before the brunette practically ran to the car. 

Clarke sat on the couch rubbing her belly to get her boy to calm down at least a bit to make the wait a little easier. 

“Gosh, you’ve got the best mommy ever. We both love you so much, but in the middle of the night, son? You’re lucky it’s like really early in the morning, on a Saturday. But who am I kidding, I can’t stay upset with you.”

Clarke loved talking to her son. Lexa often spoke to him while she was sleeping. She was never really fully conscious to pick up anything Lexa said to their boy, but she knew it was good things.   

“I love you so much. And you’re not even here yet.”

Clarke was more occupied with talking to her unborn child before remembering. To turn on the tv. The baby added in a few more kicks. Clarke was so grateful to feel his kicks. Angel never even got the chance to grow to be as big as their brother. 

The thought of it made her cry a bit.  _ Hold it together, Clarke. _

“I love you, son.” Clarke choked on a sob and rubbed her belly to calm herself but it seemed as though nothing could soothe her mood at the moment.

She couldn’t help but take a long moment to dwell on  _ that. _ But she did have a baby before their son. That baby didn’t make it that far. Not a day went by where they (Clarke and Lexa) didn’t think about their Angel. But for some reason as this pregnancy progressed, Clarke felt slightly bad, yet appreciated it so much.

She appreciated the fact that she could have her son now, but she wished she could have had that baby as well. Clarke’s phone buzzed on the center table, and she reached to get it, tears still on her face. 

  
  


**Lexa: hey bb, im here, what do you want to eat?**

  
  


Clarke wiped her tears and tried to think of all the dishes she tried so far in that restaurant. 

  
  


**Clarke: bb, i’m not sure tbh. We’ll eat anything**

  
  


**Lexa: aww, you said “we” ❤️**

  
  


**Clarke: sap**

  
  


**Lexa: does fire hot ramen sound good?**

  
  


Clarke had never tried, but Miller said that one bite made him cry a river.

  
  


**Clarke: sounds good.**

  
  


**Lexa: anything else?**

  
  


**Clarke: not really, i dont know**

  
  


**Lexa: okay**

  
  


* * *

“Hi, sweetheart, I’m back.” Lexa’s voice was slightly distant.

Clarke looked over the couch with a smile, then it turned to a look of shock.

“Lexa, did you buy the  _ whole _ menu?”

“What? No, babe. I just got some things for you and our boy.”

Clarke got up to help her, but Lexa insisted she had things under control. The brunette brought everything to the living room and sat with her wife. 

Clarke turned to her wife furrowing her brow, “You got anything for yourself?”

“Um, a small soup. I’ll sympathetically eat with you. C’mon, maman, eat up.”

The blonde didn’t exactly know where to start with the food. Lexa got her spicy noodles, and she made sure to focus on that first. The brunette changed the channels around on the tv. 

Lexa kissed the top of her wife’s head as Clarke took a big mouthful of the spicy food without a tear, “Wanna watch anything?”

Clarke shook her head ‘no’ while taking a rough swallow of the noodles. Lexa was amazed at how Clarke was eating the noodles nonchalantly without crying or anything. She cried the whole car ride because the smell was burning her corneas. To sort of distract her from the thought, he placed her hand on the side of Clarke’s swollen belly. 

“He was really going at it a while ago,” Clarke commented after another swallow.

There was a little nudge from the inside, and Lexa’s heart just swelled. Lexa lightly pushed back, to receive another soft nudge from her son. 

She looked at Clarke with a smile, “I hope it means thank you.”

“Probably does.” Clarke smiled back. 

It was uncertain whether or not the tears were from the food, finally getting to her, or if it was the moment, but Clarke was crying now.

“Shit, it’s okay, babe.”

Clarke shook her head, “Baby, you’re fine… I’m just… emotionally unstable now.”

Lexa kissed her regardless. Even though she got some spicy sauce in her mouth, she could care less, she was kissing Clarke, and the burning could wait a second. Clarke felt another kick from the baby and her eyes shot open. It was as if the baby was upset with his maman because she stopped eating. Lexa pulled away concerned. 

“You okay?” Lexa asked, furrowing her brows.

Clarke nodded and wiped excess tears. The brunette kissed her cheek and rested her head on her shoulder. The two mothers stayed together all night  _ eating. _ Both women agreed it was fun.  

* * *

 

Lexa hurled some more chunks into the toilet bowl. She was starting to regret letting Clarke insist her into eating all that food with her.

“Oh how the tables have fucking turned.” Clarke rubbed Lexa’s back sympathetically. 

“Not--” Lexa hung her head over, puking some more. “fucking funn---” Lexa blew some more. “funny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked the updates, leave a comment and/or kudo if you liked this. See you next update. Also, any suggestions for baby G-W's middle name? Leave them below. I still haven't really picked one.


	29. Chapter 29

  
  


**September, 2028**

  
  


**Clarke: I have an idea. Which shade of blue is better?**

 

Clarke stood in the aisle full of yarn. She found it nuts that she had this idea, but she wanted to channel her energy by doing something. 

 

**Lexa: I like the pale blue**

 

The blonde smiled to herself. 

 

**Clarke: you know me**

 

**Lexa: ofc i do**

 

**Clarke: i love you so damn much**

 

**Lexa: me too**

 

Clarke grabbed one roll from the shelf.

“Que comptez-vous faire avec le fil, madame?”   

The blonde turned to the side to catch sight of an older woman. The lady was browsing through the yarn on the shelves. 

Clarke smiled and said, “Une couverture pour mon fils.”

“Oh, alors le bébé est un garçon? Toutes nos félicitations!” The woman said with a smile.

“Je vous remercie.”

She continued to search for yarn on the shelf, “De rien.”

The women gave each other a small nod, and continued with their lives. In the end, Clarke took two rolls of yarn and knitting sticks. (Or whatever they’re called). Clarke made sure she grabbed soft yarn, not the itchy kind. But she wanted to make the yarn run quick so she could go home. 

The girl was sensing herself being followed by men with cameras. Yeah, she understood she was Lexa’s wife, but she didn’t understand why people just had to have pictures of everyone. However, she didn’t let it ruin her mood as she paid for her things. She was going to make something for her son, and that was that.

* * *

 

“Woo, Clarke, new hobby?” Josephine’s voice came from over the wall of the cubicle. “I mean no offense, but the last person I saw knit was my great aunt.”

Clarke was going to be honest with herself (that was funny) and she had a good chuckle. She had a lot of those comments from nearly all their family and friends. 

“But have you knit before, or are you just learning now?” Josephine moved to the doorway of the cubicle and leaned a bit against the frame. 

“Learning now,” Clarke answered.

Her focus was on the stitching.

“Not bad, then.” Josephine nodded to herself. “Are you excited for him?”

Clarke looked up and nodded, “Yeah, I can’t wait.”

“Cool.”

Russel’s faint voice could be heard calling from a few feet away.

“I’ll leave you be.” 

Josephine walked away down the walkway to talk to her father. The blonde didn’t mind the comments, Josephine was getting nicer. After all, she saved Lexa from being duped by a nun somewhere (if she still remembered the story right). It wouldn’t be too far off to call Josephine a friend now. The blonde simply waited for everything to print. 

Russel wanted nearly 100 copies, and she was on 20 now. And Clarke was just starting the blanket.

* * *

 

  
  


**Mid-December, 2028**

  
  


She really shouldn’t have underestimated Becca, when the woman said that her stomach would only swell bigger and bigger until the end of her pregnancy. But she didn’t mind it at the same time. Her baby boy’s kicks reassured her that everything was fine. Her baby boy’s kicks also reminded her of how much she needed a true distraction. 

Knitting was a nice thing to keep her hands busy, but she also missed work just a little. 

_ Just a little. _

Clarke gently rocked the rocking chair and hummed a little to herself. In a while tops, she would be holding him in this same place, _ actually _ holding him. The boy kicked hard, right into her ribs.

Clarke winced, “Geez, Atreyu.”

Clarke rubbed the spot soothingly. Becca also told her about the harsh kicks. But they were reassuring sometimes. Clarke continued with knitting when her son stopped assaulting her from the inside. It was hard to ignore them at this stage. 

Footsteps approached the doorway of the nursery. They were slow, but there. And Clarke knew exactly who was there.

“Hey, you two.” Lexa was slightly drowsy and tired from her nap.

The blonde perked up at the sight of her wife. Lexa returned the small smile. She noticed how far along Clarke had come with the blanket she was knitting for their son.

“Hey. Feeling any better?”

Lexa dodged eye contact for a second. Clarke knew something was up. Lexa was gradually using her cane a bit more for support. It wasn’t  _ unusual, _ but Lexa wasn’t really using it a few months before as often as she did the past two weeks. 

“Lexa, don’t worry.”

Since the last months of the pregnancy, Lexa often kept ‘bad news’ or ‘negativity’ from Clarke. She didn’t want to trigger anything. Lexa turned around and motioned at her spine. Her hand pointed from the nape of her neck, down to the start of her tailbone. Clarke’s expression turned upside down.

“All of that  _ hurts?” _

Her wife turned around and nodded. Clarke’s hands stopped moving. 

The first thing Lexa said while she put out her hands, was, “Don’t freak.” 

Clarke scoffed trying her best to be calm about it.

“You take something for that?”

Lexa nodded, “The doctor told me that whenever I’m acting up, to just take double. Clarke, don’t worry.”

The blonde just stared at her. Clarke was slightly hurt and didn’t understand why Lexa wouldn’t tell her a thing without hesitating.

“Lexa, hi. My name’s Clarke Griffin-Woods, I’m pregnant and our son is due in less than a month. I’d like to emphasize  _ pregnant. _ I’m not the baby here. You can tell me these things, Lexa. Just ‘cause I cry a lot does not mean you should keep things from me.” Clarke said.

Her voice slightly cracked.  _ Fuck, Lexa. What the hell? _

“I’m not  _ fragile, _ babe. I’m a grown-ass adult, I can handle--” the blonde broke out a sob. 

She didn’t know what it was, but Lexa felt the contents of her chest drop. She made Clarke cry, which was probably because she was stressed. So maybe she felt like she fucked up the whole purpose of trying to  _ not _ stress Clarke out. Lexa’s brain cells were attacking her because of a simple decision. 

“No, no, no, Clarke, baby, I’m sorry.”

Hot tears fell down Clarke’s cheeks. Lexa moved to comfort her and wished she could take time back. She wished she would’ve just  _ told _ Clarke. 

“Shh, babe, I’m sorry.” The brunette cupped Clarke’s face and wiped her tears with her thumbs. 

Clarke let out another sob and just hid her face against Lexa. 

“I just wanna make sure you’re okay. That’s all.” Clarke said with her face burrowed in Lexa’s neck. “You're my wife, I care about you.”

“Yeah, I know. I care about you as well. You’re just in these last stages of pregnancy, and I don’t want to stress you out any more than you probably are with the baby.” Lexa said. 

Clarke let out a small sob against Lexa. The brunette felt a little bad for making her wife cry, she was nearly going to cry with her as well. 

“Babe, I’m sorry.”

Clarke looked up at her wife, “No, _ I am. _ Don’t worry about making me worried anymore.”

Clarke was wondering if that could be possible with the hormones, but she would try her hardest to hold it down better. Lexa kissed the top of her head.

“I love you.”

“Oh god, I love you too.” 

The two women leaned for a make-up kiss. It wasn’t heated, but it also wasn’t a quick peck. There was a kick in Clarke’s belly which made her breath hitch. The brunette could see it. (Yes, it was freaky to see the outline of his foot or hand kicking). The woman simply placed her hand on Clarke’s stomach and smiled at the patter of feet. 

“Hi, son.” Lexa smiled at the weight under her foot and smiled at Clarke, who smiled back. “Hi there.”

The blonde put her hand on top of Lexa’s. That was another reminder of the little boy they were gonna bring into this world very soon. 

“Hi.” Lexa chuckled when she felt him repeatedly kick.

Clarke smiled seeing how gentle Lexa was with their baby. 

_ Their baby. _

“Hi.” Lexa chuckled, with the tears prickling behind her eyes threatening to spill. “Can--” Her eyes wandered to her wife’s. “Can you hear us?”

There was a pause. No kicks and they held their breaths. There was a little kick. Both of them squealed. 

“We love you, son,” Clarke said gently. 

* * *

 

“God, I-- I don’t think we’re gonna have to buy him clothes until he’s three or four.”

All the clothing their friends and loved ones sent for Atreyu basically had him set  _ for life. _ Clarke chuckled. They worked out a little system as they set up his bedroom. One of them was sitting and folding (Clarke), and the other was putting the clothes in the drawer, colour-coded (Lexa).  They painted the room white since Angel, but never really got to decorating until they found out Atreyu’s gender. 

No, they didn’t paint anything gender-specific on the walls or anything, but they didn’t want to do anything too gender-neutral. Especially since it was extremely overused with everyone. The crib was a light beige colour, the same shade as the drawer, both mothers agreed on light blue sheets to go into it. Navy blue was  _ too much. _ They also placed a small woven rug on the floor in front of the crib. 

After some insisting (from Lexa), Clarke painted some things, and she hung the pieces around the walls of the room. One of them was a portrait of their son, based off the 3D ultrasound sonograms they got of him. (Fun fact: Lexa cried when she finally got to see the finished product). Although it was monochromatic, blue. (Maybe they unconsciously made the room gender-specific with the selection of colour, but that wasn't intentional).

There were other pieces as well, but that one piece, in particular, stood out to the two of them. Seeing it just made things more  _ real. _

Lexa was  _ still _ putting away the grey clothes, “Can’t wait to see this room evolve. He can put whatever he wants in here when he gets older.”

“What he likes,” Clarke added with a smile. 

(She too was still folding grey onesies).

“Yeah.”

Lexa put the clothes into the drawers with a smile. No, she wasn’t a fan of folding, but seeing that these tiny clothes would soon be on their son was something she was imagining. Aden sent tiny sneakers (wasn’t exactly a huge shock), but it didn’t make sense. At least they were about the size you would put on a one or two-year-old. Clarke held them in her hand and chuckled. 

“I’m not gonna lie, kinda a bit much for a boy who hasn’t been born yet, but they’re nice.”

Her wife nodded in agreement. Most of the clothes were from Lexa’s family. The Woods’ were trying to overdo each other.

“Imagine him running around with them on?” Lexa told Clarke with a smile.

It made Clarke give out an ‘Aww’.  

“Raven told me that we had to prepare ourselves for that phase. Apparently, they think they’re escape artists.”

Both women laughed together. 

“All kids are different, but I mean, judging by his kicks…”

Clarke scoffed, “Don’t even get me started on that, Lexa. That basically confirms what Raven said.”

The blonde gave out a yawn. Lexa put the last of the grey away before she took Clarke’s hand. She could tell her wife was getting tired. But Clarke wasn’t one to go down quite yet. And her being pregnant, only made her more stubborn.

“Wanna lay down? Back’s hurting.”

Clarke nodded.

“C’ mon, babe.” 

Lexa led her to the other end of the bridge where their bedroom was. Before laying down, herself, Lexa assured that Clarke was able to lay down okay. The brunette laid down on her ‘spot’ next to Clarke on her side to face her, and sighed. Her back felt relieved, she was having a quiet moment with her wife, and Clarke was with her. (That was technically already mentioned). 

Lexa ran her fingers through blonde locks. 

“You looked tired.”

Clarke let out another small yawn, “I kinda am. Knitting and getting ready for him is hard work.”

Lexa nodded, “Mmm-hmm, but we don’t have anything more to really add to it, except finish with his clothes, and maybe add some more stuffed animals later. And the bag we’re taking to the hospital.”

Clarke nodded.

“G, you look tired. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Based on Raven, you’re gonna need to stock up on the energy.”

“Bet.” Clarke kissed her chastely.

“You will.” Lexa reciprocated it and stroked her face.  _ “Sleep.” _

Clarke sighed and closed her eyes. Lexa knew her so well, because, in five minutes tops, Clarke was lightly snoring. The brunette lowered herself to be eye level with Clarke’s swollen belly. She gently placed her hand on it and rubbed gentle circles. Clarke gave out a little appreciative hum. 

“I love you, Atreyu.”

There wasn’t a kick, but rather a weight under Lexa’s palm. It was almost as if the baby was replying to her. Raven also told them that it was the best thing when the baby said their first words. And Lexa couldn’t wait. Whether he said Mommy or Maman first, it didn’t matter. She would be happy regardless. Get some sleep. According to Raven we’re gonna need it.”

Another yawn passed Clarke’s lips. 

“Stock up on the energy while you can, okay? I’m right here.”

The blonde made herself more comfortable in bed. 

“Shhh, easy maman.”

Clarke snuck a peck onto Lexa’s lips before closing her eyes. Lexa knew her wife pretty well. Within five minutes tops, Clarke was lightly snoring. Lexa moved to be level to Clarke’s belly. She placed a gentle hand on the side and rubbed soothing circles on the spot her hand was at. 

Her wife let out a small hum. 

Raven told them that the best part of raising a child, was when they started to talk. Imagining the day when their boy would babble, ‘mommy’ or ‘maman’ was something she was really looking forward to. She didn’t care which one it would be, she just couldn’t wait to hear his little voice. Clarke’s hand rested on her shoulder and lightly scratched. 

The moment was so quiet and gentle, Lexa fell asleep after a while as well.

* * *

 

 

**January, 2029**

  
  


Clarke stayed awake, sitting up, rubbing her belly as Lexa as curled up on her side sleeping next to her. Atreyu’s kicks were restless. There were snacks on Clarke’s nightstand. The number of times Clarke got up to pee were very frequent, the blonde lost count. Atreyu was due  _ tomorrow. _

Clarke didn’t know if the thought of that was putting her on edge. Or his kicks right into her ribs. After a few minutes, Clarke felt the panging urge to go to the bathroom, but it was also painful. Raven reminded her somewhere that it meant the baby was coming. Right at that thought, her lower half was in so much pain. 

She physically groaned in pain, and clenched the sheets around her. Next to her, Lexa was stirring in the sheets, and seemed to be waking up. Clarke clutched her belly. Within seconds of opening her eyes, Lexa knew immediately what was going on. The brunette shucked on some shoes, her glasses, and cane. 

“Hey, babe, it’s okay. Let’s go.”

With unsteady feet, Lexa ran to the other side of the bed. The first thing she did was grab Clarke’s hands, trying to help her up. Due to not taking her medicine yet, her limbs were aching at the weight of bringing Clarke to her feet.

“It hurts so fucking much, Lexa! Ow!” Clarke was sobbing in pain. 

Lexa tried to get her wife to calm down, “We’re leaving  _ now.” _

The woman tried to help Clarke down the stairs. Clarke groaned at another contraction and clutched her stomach. Lexa whispered gentle words of encouragement. Going down the stairs had never been a task like this, not even for Lexa. The thoughts running through their heads were just straight panic. 

Both were surprised that Clarke’s screams of pain were not waking up the neighborhood. After what felt like a mile, they reached the doorway. Lexa grabbed the hospital bag and helped Clarke to the car. The lower half of her body was cramping in such a horrible way, she didn’t understand why.

“Hey, it’s okay, we’re on our way.” Lexa revved up the car and hit the gas.

Her wife just clutched her belly. It was a little hard for her to focus on anything else other than the immense pain. A gentle hand took hers.

“I’m here.”   

Clarke allowed her wife to calm her, and keep her at bay. At least,  _ slightly. _

“Lexa, I think my water broke.”

The sentence came out as a bit of a question. There was no light on the road, save for the headlights, Lexa turned her head to see what Clarke was seeing.

“Did Raven say this would happen?”

Lexa shook her head immediately, “No.”

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, and that only encouraged her to drive faster. Last she knew, water, nor amniotic fluid was red. Clarke didn’t have the strength to groan in pain anymore.

* * *

 

  
  


**September, 2007**

  
  


_ Alexander had his two older children holding his hands entering the hospital. Seven-year-old Lexa was excited to meet her little sister. Three-year-old Aden wasn’t quite processing this at all.  _

_ “Papa, was she born okay?” Lexa asked. _

_ She was there when her mother’s first contraction. She saw Anastasia groan in pain but ran in her room, and hid in her closet. Aden just refused to let Anastasia come close out of fear as well.   _

_ Alexander nodded, “All ten-finger and toes.” _

_ “We got ten fingos and toes, Pa?” Aden asked. _

_ Alexander nodded. The two children were asking things at a rapid-fire pace, Alexander didn’t exactly know how he would get to answer any of them. They were staying with their uncle Gustus while Anastasia was in labor. _

_ “And mommy?” Aden asked.  _

_ “About your mother…” _

_ Alexander stopped. They were a few doors down from where Anastasia was roomed. Lexa had wide eyes. The expression on her father’s face was shocking and slightly unsettling. _

_ “She’s not hurt, is she?” _

_ “No, I just want you two to know that your mother will be busy with Madi, okay? At this point, Madi is gonna need our all. Okay? It doesn’t mean we don’t love you because we don’t spend time with you, we’re just busy with her, okay?” _

_ Both kids nodded. Although, Aden processed none of that.  _

_ Lexa spoke up, “Yeah, I know. Like with Me and Aden.” _

_ “Exactly. And also, don’t jump on her, she had to get surgery to get the baby out.” This comment was mostly aimed towards Aden.  _

_ They continued walking towards the room. Without really bracing herself, Lexa opened the door. _

_ “Mommy!” Aden ran towards his mom. _

_ On the contrary, Lexa ran towards the hospital bassinet where her sister was. She peered in with a smile. _

_ “Wow, she’s pretty… like me.” Lexa said with pride. _

_ Anastasia chuckled, “Lexa, all of us Woods girls are beautiful. It’s in our genes, honey. Come here, I missed you, big girl.” _

_ The brunette ran towards her mother in the bed and let herself be gently embraced. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Left you on a cliffhanger there, but don't worry, the next chapter is coming out this week. (Sometime by Friday). Remember, if you liked it, leave a comment or kudo. I have a tumbler page: fle1mkipa, so follow it for one-shots or whatever crap I post on there. See you next update.


	30. Chapter 30

  
  


**January 11, 2029**

  
  


Lexa was pacing outside the double doors they took Clarke through when they arrived. It had been nearly ten minutes, but it felt like forever to Lexa. Her Clarke was bleeding, and coming in and out of consciousness. All she knew was that Clarke was getting an emergency c-section and she was being prepped. Lexa took to the restroom to wash her face, and maybe cool off a bit with the water hitting her face. 

When she got out, one of the doctors running around the hospital approached her.  _ Dr. Becca, _ she realized. 

“Lexa, follow me. Clarke’s c-section is coming along.” Becca motioned for her to follow her. 

Lexa obliged. 

“Can you tell me if she’s gonna be okay?” Lexa asked as she caught up to the woman.

“I’ll try my best, Lexa. But your son is being born now. That’s something you shouldn’t miss.”

They went downstairs where most of the OR rooms were. In an elevator of course. Lexa’s mind was racing. She needed her wife to be okay. She needed their boy to be okay. She needed everything to be okay. 

She wanted to know why Clarke was bleeding. She wanted to know what she didn’t watch out for. She wondered if Clarke was conscious, or unconscious. A part of her wished that this could go differently. That Clarke would keep having contractions on the car ride, and they would have gone into the lobby panicking as people did in movies, and been in a room waiting for when it would be time for Clarke to push the baby out. 

Then he’d be out and then they could be happy and move on with life. But now she was worried about both of their lives. Both of them put on some scrubs before entering the OR. Clarke turned her head and wearily blinked when she saw her wife.

“Lexa!” she reached her arm out.

“Clarke, I’m here, sweetheart.” 

The brunette quickly shuffled to her side and took her outstretched hands. Dr. Becca began giving quick orders in french. Lexa couldn’t quite tell what she was saying do to how fast she was talking. 

“It’s okay. They’re working on getting the baby out.” Lexa smoothed some hair out her face and kissed the top of her head.

The blonde’s lip trembled, “Lexa, I’m scared. All the blood, it hurt, and--” 

“Shh, I know.” Lexa tried to calm her down.

Seeing her wife so scared, just broke Lexa’s heart. 

“It’ll be okay, promise.”

Lexa hated that this was the only thing she could muster up to say. As if it would make Clarke feel any better when she was still clearly scared and anxious.

“It’s coming along pretty well you two.” Dr. Becca’s voice was heard on the other side. “He’s almost here.”

Lexa smiled, “Did you hear that, Clarke?”

The blonde nodded, “It’s happening, Lexa.”

“Mmm-hmm.” 

Clarke squeezed her hand a bit.  _ Literally _ the next second, there were loud cries filling the room. Clarke’s mouth went up into the biggest smile, and she looked around. They waved Lexa over to cut the cord.

“Go to him, Lexa. Go to him.” Clarke coaxed Lexa as her wife was just failing at basic motor skills.

Finally, Lexa was able to walk forward. Their son was being cleaned off on another table still crying. It must have been a domino effect because Lexa was an emotional mess as she was directed where to cut.  _ He’s so tiny. _

“Lexa, what does he look like?” Clarke asked as they worked on stitching her back up.

“Perfect, Clarke. He’s perfect.”

* * *

 

Clarke held their boy close. According to the nurses, he cried continuously until he heard their voices, and was settled in their arms. Lexa was pressed up against her side, resting her head on her shoulder, staring down at their boy as well. Another amazing thing about him was that he was quiet now, and awake looking at them with these big blue eyes, and  _ spectacular _ lashes. The dark brown fuzz on the top of his head was cute as well. 

This baby was perfection in their eyes, and the two women were grateful to have him in their arms. Atreyu’s little hand reached out towards them.

“Hi.” Clarke cooed. 

His tiny little fingers managed to touch her cheek and Clarke couldn’t help but smile. It was a bit amazing how people could be this tiny at the beginning of their lives. 

“Atreyu…” Lexa whispered his name, and tiny eyes wandered to her. 

The new-mothers couldn’t help but smile. 

“See? I told you he could recognize our voices.” Lexa said.

Atreyu smiled and looked back and forth between his two mothers. The blonde kissed the top of his little head. 

“We already told all of your grandparents that you’re here. And your aunties and uncles. But auntie Rae didn’t answer. I’ll call her again later.” Lexa playfully booped his nose.

“Lexa, he can’t understand you.” Clarke chuckled.

_ “Hey, _ babies are smarter than we give them credit for. I read it somewhere.” 

* * *

 

Lexa’s phone went off while Clarke was sneaking in a nap. The baby was lying awake in his hospital bassinet. Lexa was talking to him before she had to answer the phone. It was a facetime call from Raven. Lexa answered.

She wondered if their other friends told Raven yet, or if they didn’t at all. 

Daya exclaimed,  _ “Hi, Tia!” _

“Hi, Daya.” 

The five-year-old was enthusiastic. 

_ “Mami said that she had missed call from you.” _

Lexa chuckled at the minor slip up in the girl’s sentence. But that was the product of being raised by one and a half clowns. 

“Is she around?”

Daya answered with an ‘mmm-hmm’. She ran somewhere. All Lexa could really see was, up to the girl’s nose. 

_ “Hey, Lexa, sup?” _ Raven was making something. _ “Anything happen?” _

“Um, actually… I wanted to show you, someone…” Lexa flipped the camera over.

_ “Oh my god. Oh. my. God. No way. Stop joking. This is not funny.” _ Raven literally took the phone from Daya.

Daya was speechless. She looked at the screen with her mother.

_ “That is Clarke one of Clarke’s pictures with brown hair photoshopped onto it.” _ Raven chuckled.

Lexa shook her head ‘no’, “No, Raven, he was born a few hours ago. And we found his middle name. Jade.” 

_ “Yo, Lexa and Clarke, congrats! He’s handsome. Did the delivery go well? Where’s my best friend?”  _

Now it was time for the swarm of questions. But Lexa was ready. So far all of their friends asked the same 100 questions.

“Yeah.”

_ “And is that actually him?” _ Raven asked. 

Lexa chuckled and nodded, “Yes, this isn’t a picture of Clarke, see? He’s blinking.”

Lexa tickled the side of the boy’s cheek and he smiled.

_ “God, Lexa. You really hit the jackpot.” _ Raven gushed.

“Of course.”

_ “Even the eyes as well,” _ Raven said. 

The blonde stirred awake, mostly because of Raven’s loud exclamations. 

“Raven?”

Lexa nodded, “Wanna talk to her? She asked about you.”

Clarke nodded and reached for the phone.

* * *

 

After Josephine, Jackson, Miller and the twins came to visit they were finally relaxed. The visits did not end at their friends. Within two days, Lexa got a call from her parents. Apparently, their plane would arrive in three days at a mediocre hour in the morning. All that time finally passed through. 

Clarke was up with the baby while Lexa went to the airport to pick up her parents.

“You’re keeping me awake just like you did when you were in my stomach. Don’t worry, you’re not missing out on anything, son.” Clarke cooed.

As far as crying went. Atreyu didn’t really do that unless he needed a change. If he was hungry, he aggravatedly whimpered. Both women figured that out a little quicker. Plus, they were practically always tending to him. 

That boy cleverly had both his mothers wrapped around his finger with his occasional smirk. Not to mention that the blue eyes were a weak point for Clarke as well. 

“Mommy is bringing nono and papa over. They’ll be here in hopefully less than two hours. Can you try to go to sleep so you can not be cranky when they get here?”

Clarke moved a strand of his hair a little to the side. Clarke couldn’t help but notice that his nose looked a bit like Lexa’s, and booped it, getting a gummy grin from their boy.

“Fine, sleep whenever, but be nice to them. I love you.”

Clarke held him close. The boy was rolled up in his little blanket that Clarke made, so she knew that he was cozy. All that would come to Clarke’s mind was, rocking him gently in her arms. She did that, but he was still awake. Raven told them that Diana was basically in a coma for five months since she always slept. 

One thing that Clarke didn’t believe Raven about, was how much she could love this human after knowing him for less than two weeks. 

 

**Lexa: just picked them up from the airport. Be back in less than an hour i hope. I love you 2.**

 

**Clarke: okay. Be safe. Are you guys hungry? I could put something together last minute.**

 

The blonde glanced at the baby in her arms as his eyes were fluttering shut. Finally, he was lightly snoring, his small chest rising and falling continuously. She waited a minute or two before laying him gently back into the crib. 

“I’ll be back to check on you. Get some rest, son.”

Atreyu slightly rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand and kept sleeping. Clarke went downstairs to start on some coffee. 

 

**Clarke: do they want anything specific?**

 

**Lexa: they say eggs and toast is fine. Don’t break your back, bb.**

 

**Clarke: I’m not breaking my back.**

 

* * *

“We’re home!” Lexa called out.

The woman was scolded by her mom. Clarke could hear a loud whisper of ‘you’re gonna wake the baby’. Come to think of it, it was probably Anastasia. 

“Relax, he’s in a different building. I’m gonna show you in a bit.”

Clarke started on the eggs when Lexa sent the ‘we’ll be there in 20 minutes’ text. The three entered the kitchen. Alexander was first to take the blonde into a hug. It was a gentle yet big hug.

“How are you, Clarke?” he asked.

Clarke smiled, “I’m doing okay.”

Anastasia pushed him off to her chance at a hug with Clarke. It was safe to say that they absolutely loved their daughter in law.

“I  _ genuinely _ haven’t seen many women look this good. Especially a week after giving birth. Congratulations on my grandson.” 

“Thanks, he’s sleeping. I just got him down a little less than an hour ago. I’ll show you to him when he wakes.” Clarke said.

She preferred a cooperative and happy baby, instead of a tired cranky one. 

“Of course.”

Anastasia brought Clarke into another hug. 

“Okay, mom, don’t smother her.” Lexa chuckled as she took a sip of water from a nearby water bottle. 

“I made breakfast actually. Figured you two would be hungry after the flight.”

“Oh thank you, Clarke, you’re such a sweetheart.” Anastasia and Alexander both said.

“C’ mon, I can help you get settled,” Lexa said. 

Alexander, however, took all the luggage from her, so she led them to the guest rooms. Yep, maybe it was a sort of a miracle that they were here.

* * *

She led them to the floor above their room. When she opened the door, she quickly moved to pick him up and soothe him. Clarke would show her parents-in-law her son now that he was awake. 

“Look who came to see you, son.” Clarke cooed and slightly bounced him to calm him down. 

His cries lowered gradually to small whimpers. Although he didn’t need a change since he stopped crying when his mother held him.

“Who wants to hold him first?” Clarke asked.

Anastasia’s arms just shot out. Clarke gently handed him to her. The woman had the biggest smile on her face. Alexander came up behind her and looked at their grandson with pride.

“His face, it’s all you, except for the nose.” Alexander looked up at Clarke. 

Everyone said that. Clarke was semi-tired of it, but it was true, and they were excited to see their grandson, so she was gonna let it slide.

“Thanks. Everyone says that.”

Lexa entered the room and quickly pressed up against Clarke’s side, with an arm on the small of her back. The brunette kissed the top of her head. 

“You three are literally the best family.”

Anastasia cooed at her grandson and couldn't help but notice the similarities this boy and Lexa had. 

“Thanks.” both women said with small smiles.

Lexa couldn't help but feel a little sad when they left. But she was glad that they were happy for her little family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it was a little too sort for your liking, but I'm working on the next chapter since I have a couple of hours of free time.


	31. Chapter 31

  
  


**March, 2029**

  
  


“Hi. How are you so happy all the time?”

Atreyu had a big smug smile on his face. Lexa was writing and Clarke was painting. Whenever Clarke moved, his blue eyes darted to her. Whenever Lexa moved, his eyes followed her. But it was a real question, the kid was all smiles since like an hour after he was born. 

Lexa set down her guitar after the pads of her fingers began to hurt a bit. The family had been in the studio for a few hours. Lexa played light guitar tunes so she wouldn’t wake the baby who was originally sleeping for two hours beforehand, yet quietly sitting.

“Do you want mommy to hold you?” Lexa cooed as she got up and moved to scoop him out of his swing.

He smiled wide. Once he was settled in her arms, Lexa looked down at him with a smile. 

“What are you working on, babe?”

Lexa gently rocked Atreyu in her arms as she stood behind her wife. Clarke looked back with a smile. On the canvas was an abstract portrait Clarke was spending most of her maternity leave working on.

“Oh, it’s just something for fun.” Clarke shrugged. “Why?”

Lexa shook her head, “Nothing, we like it though.”

Atreyu smiled big at his mother. Clarke lightly pinched his cheek. The kid even had Clarke’s smile and that in itself was a new level of irony.

“Thank you, my loves.” the blonde smiled.

“Of course.”

* * *

 

Clarke was leaving. 

Her maternity leave was over. She spent all of it getting close with her wife and son. Every day in the mornings they would sit on the front porch huddled against each other. Sometimes Lexa would hum or sing a song to them if the birds weren’t.

They would wave Clem off when he went to school every morning. They napped when Atreyu did. She and Lexa got closer and closer and helped each other out with him. Clarke chastised her younger self for not wanting kids. She could never imagine a world without Atreyu. 

Leaving her wife and son and routine for a couple of hours was something she was not a fan of.

“I’m not ready to leave you two to go back to work.” Clarke half-pouted.

The two of them stood above Atreyu’s crib, as they had finally got him to sleep for the night. It was amazing how he and Clarke shared the same ‘sleeping face’ as Lexa quoted it to be. Clarke’s DNA basically copied and pasted into the kids’ genetics. 

“Me neither to be honest. But it’ll be okay. We can visit you at lunch. Promise, babe.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s lips.

The blonde smiled and rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

“I love the two of you so much.” 

“We do too. C’mon, let's get to sleep.”

Lexa had to admit to herself that she was nervous to go about daily life without Clarke there more often. She was also sad about that. She also knew it was gonna be an adjustment for Atreyu. But Lexa knew she could hold it down. 

They left the nursery and quietly closed the door behind them.

The two of them got under the covers. Lexa stroked the side of Clarke’s face with her thumb and lightly hummed. She could tell that Clarke didn’t want to leave them tomorrow. 

“Sleep, Clarke,” Lexa whispered. 

The brunette knew that Clarke was tired of breastfeeding all day and caring for the baby as well as her of course, but that baby had a pretty big appetite considering how young he was. A part of Lexa was hoping that maybe he would be able to eat a good amount of wings with them by the time he turned six. She never voiced this to Clarke. (At least not yet). 

“Lexa, you as well.” Clarke insisted.

Lexa had also been pulling her weight with the baby. For the past week, Lexa had been waking up to tend to the baby so Clarke wouldn’t have to at night. 

“Shh, okay, I will, but you have to work. And that’s more of a reason.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s lips chastely. 

* * *

 

Everyone in the household was dreading the moment when Clarke walked out of the house in the morning for work. Lexa took a shower with Clarke and made breakfast for the two of them. Sending Clarke off resulted in some tears. Lexa insisted she could take care of it, and that it wasn’t forever.

They all spent nearly three months close with each other, and to suddenly return to work.

“Oh, you look so handsome.” Lexa cooed.

She put the baby into his one-piece outfit and kissed his cheek before picking him up. 

“I think we’re doing okay so far, huh?” 

She held him against her chest and lightly swayed. So far, she got the baby ready for the day. Atreyu usually went down for a nap two to three hours before lunchtime. That explained the yawn he let out. And that explained why Lexa had a bottle ready.

The woman sat in the rocking chair and grabbed the bottle, ready to feed him. 

“Shh.”

He was fuzzing for his milk already.

“Hey, hey, hey, I know.” 

Lexa reached for the cloth on the changing table. The baby fussed a bit more until Lexa finally fed him. One thing you can’t do under any circumstances is a mess with a man and his food. 

“There you go.” Lexa smiled.

She lightly rocked the chair and hummed. Her heart was pouring with love for this child. The baby looked up at her wide-eyed. He was happy and content with his milk.

“You’re behaving so well.” Lexa cooed. “Yes, yes you have. You haven’t really cried today. You’re having your bottle. And you’re falling asleep.”

Lexa gradually stopped rocking. The baby slowly stopped suckling on the nipple of the bottle until he completely dozed off. Lexa set the bottle away and wiped away the milk on his chin. She held him for a bit, watching him sleep, and enjoying how innocent and small he was. Enjoying being able to hold him close. 

Like the others, Lexa couldn’t help but notice how much he looked like Clarke. She truly felt blessed. She continued humming and held him close. After a while, she gently laid him in the crib and kissed his cheek.

“I love you.”

The brunette snuck in a shower before starting lunch. She took her time, but not too much of it. She put on some comfy jeans and a shirt. It was a comfortable outfit, but she wouldn’t be going to The Ark looking like a scrub. Clarke asked for Lexa to make her signature pasta, which Lexa was more than happy to make.

While Clarke was pregnant, Lexa’s pasta was basically a big majority of her diet. And even after the baby was born, Clarke never got tired of it.

 

**Lexa: just got him to sleep. We miss you.**

 

**Clarke: aww. I miss you two as well. Be safe.**

 

**Lexa: we will. See you soon.**

 

The water was boiling in the pot and Lexa put the pasta into the bubbling water. The brunette hummed to keep herself occupied. She was excited to see her wife. To see how her workday was going. To have lunch with her.

Lexa cooked and checked the baby monitor occasionally for the next hour (maybe less). The baby slept on happily. As much as she missed Clarke, she knew this was the new schedule for her and Atreyu. She could find herself getting used to it in a bit. She looked at the clock.

There were a good twenty minutes before it was time to leave. There was still a sleeping baby displayed on the monitor. Lexa waited a few minutes to see if he would wake up on his own, or if she was gonna transfer him into his car seat whether he was awake or asleep. 

The brunette went up the stairs and the little guy was still in a deep slumber. Lexa hated having to be the bad guy. She gently rubbed his back as a way to wake him up, but he just squirmed in defiance. 

“Shh, hey. I’m so sorry.” Lexa whispered. “We’re gonna go see your maman for lunch, little man.”

Before taking him anywhere, she changed his diaper. He fussed a bit when Lexa picked him up in her arms. He calmed down immediately when he rested his head on her shoulder. Lexa comforted him on her way downstairs. 

“Aren’t you excited to see maman?” Lexa rubbed his back. 

She set him down in his carrier. Lexa made quick of buckling him in. She grabbed the food and the baby and tried not to lose balance on her way out of the house.  

* * *

 

“There are my two loves. God, I missed you both all day.” Clarke kissed Lexa hard on the lips and smiled at their boy.

She was so happy to see them. Her first day back at work was okay. She didn’t really get much to do. While she was gone, Miller was the temporary head Architect and kept everything in order. He was actually helping her keep up with things. 

It was a tad stressful, but with her wife and their baby, she felt a little at ease and realized what really mattered.

“We missed you too. And I brought pasta.” 

Lexa set the bag with their food on the side of Clarke’s desk. Something she had been doing for years now.

“Thanks, you’re the best.” Clarke gave her another kiss.

Clarke took her son out of his carrier and held him. The baby opened his eyes when he felt himself being lifted into a pair of arms. 

“Hi, son. I missed you.” She kissed the top of his head and the boy smiled a bit. “Oh, you look so cute! Mommy did a good job at dressing you, huh?”

Lexa was sporting a smirk at that comment, “See? I have style.”

Clarke chuckled. The brunette sat down and urged Clarke to do the same. The family happily ate together for the next hour. Both women talked to their son and cooed at him.

* * *

 

  
  


**April, 2029**

  
  


The baby was crying and crying. Lexa walked around the nursery with him in arms unable to calm him down. She didn’t know if he was feeling pain or anything. The fact that she didn’t exactly know how to help him. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby.” She cooed.

The baby just kept crying no matter what she tried. Lexa called her mother with the baby in her arms. 

“Lexa, why is he crying?” was the first thing Anastasia said when she answered.

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m calling.” Lexa sat in the rocking chair. “Can you help, mom?” 

“Sure honey.”

The baby only cried louder if that was even possible. But Lexa was eager to try to soothe him.

“What?”

“I said, okay.” Anastasia reinstated.

“Thank you.” 

* * *

Nothing worked. Lexa checked to see if he needed a change. If he was hungry. If he was sick. Nothing.

And Lexa felt horrible for not knowing how to help her son. She almost felt like she would cry as well.

“Shhh.” 

Lexa just began to softly sing to him.

Anastasia  _ suggested it, _ but Lexa  _ didn’t think _ it would work.

Whether it helped or not, Lexa would just try. She rocked in the chair gently. The baby sort of quieted down to whimpers. Lexa noticed before that the baby would usually calm down when she sang.

She just never thought that it would be usable in this instant. The brunette kept singing and wiped the tears from her son’s eyes. 

 

_ “ _ _ The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping _

_ I dreamed I held you in my arms _

_ But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken _

_ And I hung my head and I cried _

_ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” _

 

The baby looked up at her with wide eyes and a slightly amazed look.

 

_ “ _ _ I'll always love you and make you happy…” _

 

“Did you want me to sing for you this whole time, little man?” the brunette chuckled a little.

The baby extended his arm towards Lexa.

“Should I keep singing?”

The baby cooed.

“I’ll take that as a yes, I guess.”

Lexa sang a little more and tried to coax him to sleep. She stopped a little after his eyes closed. Even though it was annoying that he was crying nonstop since they got back from Clarke’s work, (After he woke up from the nap he fell into on the way back home), Lexa knew that she had to be patient. She never understood the parents who let their children ‘cry it out’. She would literally do anything for her little guy. 

And she didn’t understand Raven at first when she explained it, but now she did. 

“You’re better at this mom thing than I am.” It was Clarke’s voice from the doorway. 

Lexa looked up and smiled. She didn’t realize that Clarke had gotten home. 

“Um, I’m not sure. That was sort of a last resort. He was crying for so long.” The brunette laid her head back on the seat but kept rocking. 

Clarke just went up to her and kissed the top of her head, and rubbed her hand on the boy’s head. She loved these two so much. The small moment basically melted her heart. 

“Dinner’s on me, okay?” Clarke insisted. “But I want to be here for a moment.”

“Of course.”

Clarke sat on the ground in front of them staring at them in awe. She loved how gentle Lexa was with their son. That woman was definitely mother of the year in her eyes.

“Wanna watch a movie together, later with dinner?” Clarke suggested.

Lexa nodded. 

“Your choice as well.”

Lexa made a little smirk.

“Even if it’s Never Ending Story?” 

Clarke nodded, “Yes, but how do you watch that nonchalantly, Lexa? You’re 30.”

Lexa chuckled lightly, trying not to wake the baby.

“So? Atreyu’s gonna watch it when he’s old enough to remember as well.”

“Whatever, babe.” Clarke smiled and laughed as well, shaking her head. “I love you both.”

“We love you too, Clarke.”

Clarke’s eyes opened and she put her hand over her mouth. Before jumping to conclusions she grabbed her phone and quickly googled. 

“What?”

“I should’ve known.” Clarke just laughed.

“What?”

“You picked Atreyu’s name, and Atreyu is the name of the kid in Never Ending Story.”

The two began laughing. Lexa tried to hold back as an attempt to not wake the baby, but she didn’t fully realize what she did.

“Hey, at least it’s decent.”

* * *

 

  
  


**June, 2029**

  
  


Clarke looked at her stomach from various angles in the mirror. The baby fat was less than before, but it was still there and bothering her. She thought it would have been closer to her body before, considering she had the baby months ago. 

“How is it still there?” Clarke asked.

The question was more to herself, but Lexa, lying in bed watching her, holding the baby, heard it.

“Clarke, you had a baby.” 

“Yeah,  _ six months ago, _ babe.” The blonde looked back at her. 

Lexa was shattered seeing her blonde like this. Clarke was beautiful in her eyes. The brunette moved off the bed and just hugged Clarke. Atreyu just sat on the bed watching his mothers with wide eyes.

“Babe…” Lexa cupped Clarke’s face and looked straight into her eyes. “You’re perfect. Extra fat means nothing. You’re still my wife, you’re still the love of my life.”

“Yeah, I know, but I’m not a fan of it.”

“Ah! Nunumugbfb!” Atreyu exclaimed loudly and clapped, before falling on his back onto the blankets and pillows.

The two women chuckled.

“Wanna know why your belly is like that? It’s because you carried…” Lexa looked over at the boy and realized that he couldn’t quite get up. 

She picked him up and brought him back. 

“This guy in there. And look how precious he is.” Lexa smiled and held out the happy baby towards his other mother.

Clarke could never stay mad at her son. Especially since those eyes of his were something you could never stay mad at. Atreyu just babbled about, smiled, slobbered a little. 

“Of course he’s precious.” Clarke took the baby and peppered his face with kisses. “You’re our handsome son, huh?”

“But if you want, we can work out on weekends. Atreyu and I can motivate you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I want you to see what I see.”

“Ah! Ah!” 

Atreyu cuddled into her chest.

“Sounds good. Thanks, babe.”

“‘Course. Now can we all cuddle and be cute for a bit?” Lexa asked before collapsing onto the bed.

The baby and Clarke laughed. Clarke laid down with the baby in her arms with Lexa.

“There you go.”

The baby went back and forth between them snuggling and making them laugh. The baby extended his arms out and wiggled his fingers, and babbled as if he was explaining something. He looked to Clarke and grizzled.

_ “Look, Maman, aren’t I so cute?” _ Lexa made a funny little voice.

Clarke and Atreyu laughed. But it wasn’t a little giggle, it was a strong belly laugh. And that in itself warmed Lexa’s heart. 

* * *

“You’re doing so good, Clarke. Almost thirty-five!”

Clarke lifted Lexa in her arms as if she was doing some kind of weight lifting. Lexa’s laughing was infectious and Clarke just bent down over Lexa on the bed, still carrying her bridal style. 

“Am I too heavy?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head ‘no’. They both sort of stood there pressed against each other. The baby was napping in his own crib and they were worried about waking him. 

“Shit, okay. We need to get serious. Up, down 37.” Lexa tried to muster some seriousness in her voice.

Clarke just scoffed and threw her head back, twirled with Lexa in her arms, and kissed her.

“This is borderline--” 

Clarke just gave up on the exercising, and set Lexa down on the bed, kissing her wife. A small moan slipped from Lexa’s lips. Clarke slowly pulled away from the kiss and looked into Lexa’s darkening eyes. The blonde licked her lips and had nothing but sudden lust in her eyes. The arms on the back of her head moved slightly, pulling her back down. 

It was Clarke this time who let out a small ‘mmm’. And the next time it was Lexa who wrapped her legs around Clarke’s waist. 

“You wanna?” Clarke asked breathily. “Want me to make you cum?”

After a pause, Lexa nodded. 

It was funny how Lexa wanted to make Clarke feel better about her body, and now, Clarke was gonna make her body feel good. Clarke excused herself to get the strap with a peck to Lexa’s lips. The brunette went ahead and stripped with the time she had. It had been a few months since they were last intimate, because of the two of them being tired with the baby. But they felt ready now. 

The thought of Clarke going down on her after all this time was seriously making Lexa wet. She ran her fingers past her belly and down to her soaking folds. She let out an accidental moan. She heard Clarke’s throat clear, to which she looked up lustfully. The blonde was adjusting the strap and biting her lower lip.

Her throbbing clit was aching for friction. But she wanted to watch how Lexa’s long fingers drew in and out of her drenched pussy. Once she could tell that Lexa was slowly approaching, she grabbed her wrist to stop her and licked the wetness off her fingers with a small moan. 

“You gonna fill me up with that cock?” 

Lexa raised her brow and Clarke just pounced on her, which made her giggle at first. Clarke bottomed out at once, drawing a loud moan from Lexa. She pulled out a few inches, but Lexa stopped her. Lexa felt sort of like a newbie. Like she did the first time she took the strap. 

“Sorry, did I hurt you?”

Lexa shook her head ‘no’. She moved a piece of hair from Clarke’s face behind her ear. Clarke got the signal to thrust when Lexa grinded her hips against the cock. Lexa moaned and panted against Clarke’s ear. And the blonde was turned on a little more if that could even be possible.

“Fuck, mmm. Dear…” Lexa let out another high-pitched moan. “God!”

Clarke readjusted her hips to hit the right spots. As the strap rubbed against her clit, she moaned into Lexa’s shoulder. The pleasure hit the two of them on a different level.

* * *

 

Lexa sat in bed groaning. The baby was crying in his room. But she and Clarke were comfortably cuddling. (Okay, Clarke was spooning her, and she was a warm, cozy, happy little spoon right where she was). Clarke slightly moved a bit. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to leave him there for a little while longer,” Lexa said.

But Clarke was half asleep, and Lexa just coaxed her all the way there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already got the next chapter which is ready. I'm not sure whether I should or shouldn't post it today. But yeet. if you like it, leave a kudo and comment. I also have a Tumblr account: fle1mkipa.


	32. Chapter 32

  
  


**June, 2030**

  
  


So much time had passed that Lexa and Clarke were nearly forgetting their bet. The family was at the table enjoying themselves. They spoke about whatever. Clarke finished eating first, so she finished feeding Atreyu his dinner as well. 

“Did you see about Madi on the tv?” Lexa asked.

“Yeah, that’s amazing. I could tell she was proud of what she said.” Clarke said as she waited for Atreyu to swallow the previous spoonful of applesauce.

The baby practically scarfed down his food for his dessert every day. 

“I mean, I could be a hologram and still be able to hug you, and interact with you as if I were human.” Lexa boasted as she looked through her phone.

Clarke took a quick moment to grab her phone as well and airdrop a picture to her wife. The brunette looked back at her with a smirk. 

Lexa defended herself, “I am  _ not _ a dork! I’m just a supportive big sister!” 

Clarke chuckled. She broke down into laughter when Lexa just started to turn red for no reason. The spoon was barely an inch far from Atreyu’s mouth. Right when he was going to just take it, Clarke set the spoon down to laugh hysterically at Lexa, with Lexa. The boy got a little aggravated when he didn’t get his spoonful of applesauce. 

“Pla!” He exclaimed slamming his small hands against the tray on his highchair.

Both women stopped with the jokes and stared at each other with wide eyes. 

“What did he  _ just _ say?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shrugged because all she comprehended was his little voice. She was too distracted with laughing to figure out what the word was.

“Can you say it again, Atreyu?” Clarke asked.

By this time, Lexa started recording. The baby just fussed and reached for the applesauce.

_ “Plus!” _ He was getting agitated.

“He wants  _ more,” _ Clarke said amazed, feeding him again. “Huh, son?”

“Mmm-hmm.” Atreyu nodded, happy again with his dessert.

Clake and Lexa smiled at each other with such pride. Their boy was talking now. The prospect of their boy was growing up so fast. Clarke wiped his mouth when he finished all the applesauce. 

“Ah-ah! Plus! Plus!” He reached his hands out and moved his fingers.

Clarke chuckled, “Want more, son?”

He nodded. 

“I think he deserves it, he said his first word.” Lexa had gotten up as well and kissed his cheek while patting his back. 

Clarke smiled and returned with more applesauce. As soon as it was in sight he was a happy boy again. 

“Who knows, maybe your next word will be applesauce.” Clarke gave him a spoon of it.

“Or mommy. The bet’s still on.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek. 

The brunette was still confident that the odds were in her favour as she washed the dishes, and watched Clarke feed their son applesauce. The two of them were very content. Lexa had a big smile as she heard the baby say ‘mmm’ after nearly every spoon.

* * *

 

  
  
  


**August, 2030**

  
  


Lexa was sitting at the keyboard figuring out some chords. Atreyu ran in and out, and around the studio. Finally, he ran up to his mommy and tugged on her arm. 

“Hey, little man.”

He extended his arms to be held. Lexa scooped him up in her arms.

“Ah!” he pointed to the keyboard, then to her mouth. “Ah!”

“You want me to sing?” Lexa asked.

The boy nodded. Lexa put both hands on the keys and thought of something. She began playing a few notes, and Atreyu looked up at her with a smile.

 

_ “You are my…” _

 

Atreyu hummed the word instead of saying it.

 

_ “My only…” _

 

He hummed the word again. Lexa chuckled a little.

 

_ “You make me…” _

 

Atreyu hummed again. The two sang and hummed for a bit before their after-lunch snack.

* * *

 

“You’re still insistent, huh?” Niylah asked. 

The blonde moved around in the bakery. Lexa hummed in agreement.

“I want to win the bet.”

Lexa cooed at the little boy she stood on her lap. The baby put both hands on his mommy’s cheeks. He grizzled and jumped. Lexa smiled.

“What is it anyway?”

“I don’t even know what the incentive is. We just felt like competing.”

The baby began to dig his nails into Lexa’s face and the older brunette had to pry his hands away. Lexa winced. 

“Seems like it’s going well.” Niylah chuckled, “Your bread is ready. Good luck. I’m aiming for Niylah.”

Lexa scoffed a little and put Atreyu in the stroller, grabbed the bag of bread, and started on their way out. The little guy exclaimed stretching out his arms.

“Hey, I know you’re hungry, but we’re on our way to see your maman for lunch.” Lexa insisted.

The brunette tried to maneuver herself through the busy french streets with their son. The little boy pointed something out in the distance. Lexa was too busy trying to look over people. 

“Ah!” he looked up at his mommy and kept pointing.

The sidewalk cleared a bit and Lexa sighed in relief. 

However, her son was still insistent on something she couldn’t see.

“What is it, baby?”

Then it was a flash. Not any flash. Rather the flash of a camera. Then it clicked to Lexa. The Ark was a few blocks from the building.

The boy made a questioning sound.

“It’s okay, little one. They’re not gonna do anything to you. I’m here, baby, okay?” Lexa took his little hand.

The second he caught ahold of it, he squeezed tight. It was obvious that he was nervous. Sure, the paparazzi would pop up and take pictures. But he wasn’t quite  _ aware _ of it until now. Now, if he caught sight of it, he was both curious and scared. 

It also seemed like they were getting closer and closer every day. 

Lexa knew that one day she would have to explain it to him when he got older. Hell, she didn’t know if they would soon follow him. They followed Clarke as well. But for now, she hoped that they would keep their distance from him. He was still so young. 

The boy made a small noise and looked up at his mom with some uncertainty. 

“It’s okay.” Lexa walked a little faster. 

It was as if Lexa and the man with the camera were racing side by side on the sidewalk. Atreyu laid back in the stroller, watching the measures this man would go through for a photo.  

They passed the threshold of the building and ‘lost’ him. 

Lexa pressed the button on the elevator to go up. 

_ “Oooh.” _

“Yeah, isn’t it fun?” Lexa cooed. 

They got in, and the elevator went up. Like every time, the boy would laugh as the elevator went up. That little thing in itself made Lexa smile and feel a bit prideful. When the elevator stopped, the 20-month-old just leaned forward, eager to see his maman. As soon as they walked out of the elevator, the boy gave Josephine a big wave. 

“Hi there.”

“Hi, Josephine.”

“How’s the bet going?” the blonde asked raising her brow.

Lexa just chuckled and shook her head. Josephine pinched the boy’s cheek. 

“How about you try Josie? That’s easy.” 

The blonde announced she had to go a little later and they continued their own ways. 

“Hey, you two.” Clarke greeted as Lexa and their son entered. 

She smiled at the loves of her life and smiled. Her day was stressful so far, and the sight of them was refreshing. 

“Ah!” Atreyu reached for his maman.

Lexa kissed her full on the lips. “Hey.”

Clarke kissed the tops of their heads. Atreyu fussed for Clarke to pick him up.

“Okay, I’ve got you, son.” 

Clarke lifted him out of the stroller and he wrapped his arms around her neck in a hug. 

He lifted his head up and extended his hand towards Lexa.

“Mommy…” he waved for Lexa to join the hug.

“Oh, come on!” Clarke slightly exclaimed, yet kept her voice low enough to not disturb.

The brunette just snickered on the highest levels of cloud nine she could be at. But Clarke was still happy for her wife. At this point, all bets aside, him saying anything was rewarding.

“Mommy.” he reached towards Lexa.

“Eek! He said it again!”

“C’mere, Lex… that’s what he wants.”

The brunette went by their side and looked into Clarke’s eyes with nothing but happiness. 

* * *

 

  
  


**August, 2033**

  
  


“Tell me, how was your day?” Clarke asked.

Since the two of them arrived happy and jittery, Clarke had genuinely wanted to know. Although, she was sure that Lexa may have allowed him too much applesauce and junk food. 

_ “Mommy and I watched Never Ending Story!” _ he exclaimed. 

Clarke chuckled. She knew Lexa would show him the movie eventually. When Lexa mentioned a fantasy land, the boy was sold on watching it.

“Did you like it?” Clarke asked.

The boy smiled and nodded. 

“We had popcorn as well,” Lexa said.

_ “Really? _ You should have waited for me!” Clarke pouted.

_ “Can we watch it again tonight? With popcorn?” _ Atreyu suggested.

Clarke nodded and kissed his cheek. Atreyu took a big sip of his juice and saw what his maman was working on. As Lexa and Clarke spoke a little, the boy analyzed his mother’s outlines. He flipped through the pages. Every once in awhile there would be a small doodle of him or his mommy on the corner of the sheet. 

“You see my work?”

The boy nodded. 

“These are buildings,” Clarke explained.

She pointed to some of them to him. Showing the 3D designs to her boy.

“Wow.”

Lexa smiled as she saw Clarke explain these things to him. She had to admit it was beautiful. 

_ “That’s mommy.” _ Atreyu pointed at the corner of the paper.

Clarke smiled.  _ “Yeah, son.” _

Atreyu showed Lexa the little doodle. 

“You still doodle us?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded, “Of course.”

Lexa fed Clarke a chip, but somehow, mid-chew half of it fell out of her mouth. The three of them had a complete ball over it. It left Lexa’s face beet red, and leaning on Clarke’s knee.

“Babe!”

* * *

 

_ “Bye, uncle Miller!” _ Atreyu waved good-bye to Miller.

“Bye, little guy. Bye, Lexa.” the man waved back with a smile. 

“Bye, Miller.” 

Lexa took his hand and they walked down the streets of Paris. They were used to walking down the streets after lunch together completely tired and ready for naps. In the winter they would use the car to commute instead. They nearly recognized the faces around them. And the faces around them weren’t panty-pissing shocked at seeing Lexa anymore. 

_ “Mommy, I’m tired.” _ Atreyu groaned. 

Lexa scooped him up onto her hip and kept walking. The boy wasn’t heavy, but the extra weight on her hip was something she needed the help of her cane to support. Atreyu rested his head on her shoulder. 

“You tired?” She asked, rubbing his back. 

_ “I wanna take a nap when we get home.” _

Lexa’s brows furrowed. Their boy only spoke french, (his personal and complete choice). But there were also background conversations around them. She didn’t hear his voice. 

“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t hear you. Can you say it again?”

“I say, I wanna nap at home.” The boy spoke a little louder.

“Okay.” 

Lexa nodded and walked a little faster.

The brunette carefully and strategically weaved her way through traffic. 

She looked up at the right time to see Madi on a billboard. Yep, Madi. Her jaw dropped and she quickly snapped a picture before getting swept away in the current of the sidewalk. 

* * *

 

  
  


**April, 2063**

  
  


Madi cried. 

_ She _ cried. 

And _ cried. _

**_And cried._ **

She didn’t understand how she was supposed to do this. This was too much for her. And she didn’t understand why it had to happen. The whole family was hurt. This was something she wanted to do for the whole family.

Henry came up behind her.

Henry suggested  _ closure. _

“Babe…”

Madi blinked tears away as her husband wrapped gentle arms around her. 

“I just-- how am I  _ supposed _ to do it?”

Madi had stayed in her ‘space’ tirelessly for weeks on end. She phoned Clarke about this. And she phoned her parents about this as well. The brunette turned around and buried her face in his chest.

“Babe… did you finish?”

Madi nodded. He ran his fingers through her hair. 

“Can I--” he didn’t know if he was overstepping. “Can I see?”

Madi sniffled and didn’t move. Henry didn’t push it, and just decided to drop the subject. He carefully sat down on the nearest seat and let her sit on his lap as he comforted her. He cupped the side of her face and wiped her tears.

“Hen, I don’t  _ think _ I can do this. But I don’t want to let them down.”

“You don’t have to.” he insisted.

For a second, Madi sat there after she wiped her eyes. Henry wasn’t sure if she needed more reassuring. Madi got up and went to the computer. 

“Hen-- Henry…” Madi waved her over.

She hung onto him, as she ordered the program to start. As soon as those eyes formed in the hologram…

As  _ soon _ as those eyes formed…

Madi…

Henry caught her, and it seemed like everything was going on silently with just white sound as he quickly looked for a phone of sorts.

“A.L.I.E, call 911!” Henry yelled as he tried to get Madi to wake up. “Madi!”

He couldn’t help but look at what she made.

“Holy shit, it looks  _ just like _ he--”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like the update. Be sure to leave a comment and a kudo if you want to. I appreciate all you leaders.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: No animals were harmed in the making of this chapter.
> 
> As always, enjoy.

 

 

**August, 2034**

  
  


If someone were to see this years ago, they would have been accused of starting some kind of hippie movement. If they saw the way their five-year-old was jumping and dancing, some doctor would diagnose him with some sort of behavioral disorder. 

Atreyu took Clarke’s hands and the two just jumped around in circles.

The blonde was originally painting, but all that changed when Lexa began to play something upbeat and Atreyu just  _ insisted _ they dance. And she couldn’t say no to her boy. Much less with those eyes of his. She understood how Lexa was weak with their eyes. So she let him grab ahold her hands and she swung him around. 

She remembered Anastasia saying something about loving every moment with their son. And she understood. It felt like just yesterday she was holding him in her arms in the hospital, and now he was five. She thought the phrase was an exaggeration, but it wasn’t. 

She twirled the boy.  

“Wha-- that’s not even--” Lexa stopped singing but kept strumming the guitar. 

The two just jumped around and spun. They all smiled and laughed and enjoyed the music. If someone were to tell either of the wives that this was their life now, they would have not believed it too easily. Atreyu hung his head and laughed. It wasn’t a small giggle, it was a deep belly laugh.

Clarke scooped him up and swayed side to side. At one point, Lexa stopped singing altogether, and leaned her body forward, laughing. 

“I can’t with you two.”

Clarke spun with the boy in her arms and he laughed.

_ “Again, maman, again!” _

_ “Again?”  _

The boy nodded and laughed when Clarke spun him again. Clarke took a seat for a second to catch her breath. Unfortunately, she was getting older and apparently fast.

“Mommy, with us!” he said.

Lexa got up and Atreyu immediately ran in her direction. The family enjoyed days like this. Days where they were all down in the studio enjoying themselves and having a little powwow. Music and art, and Atreyu… all of it synced up pretty well. 

“Jump!”

“I can’t jump, man. My legs,” she explained.

“Okay!” he shrugged.

There was no music for a few seconds until Clarke turned on some music on her phone while she was sitting. 

“That’s more like it.” Lexa nodded her head.

Atreyu just jumped and jumped.

* * *

 

“Aaaaahhh.”

“I don’t know this song, so I’m gonna let you two take over.” Clarke chuckled.

By now, the three of them were on the floor, singing songs from movie soundtracks. It was evident which movie it was. 

“Storyyyy, aahhh!”

Clarke  _ still _ didn’t understand how she didn’t know the song when they watched the movie every waking second of the day. Clarke would be close to memorizing the script after maybe two more watches of it. _ Seriously. _

“REACH THE STARS! FLY A FANTASY!”

Clarke was rolling on the floor laughing. With their son next to her practically screeching his way through the song, it was impossible to be straight-faced. Not to mention Lexa nudging Clarke’s shoulder every two words. Lexa booped Clarke’s nose making her giggle.

“Babe!”

“You don’t actually have to sing, see? Atreyu gets it.” Lexa kissed her cheek. 

Clarke chuckled, “I love you both.”

“We love you too.”

Clarke caught sight of something fly into the studio. They kept the doors open for fresh air, but they never had wildlife intrude on the space. She quickly sat up and saw it.

A small bird. 

Then Lexa saw it and she sat up as well. 

“We need to get it out before it poops on anything,” Clarke said. 

Lexa agreed. Atreyu was nonchalant about the bird flying in. Meanwhile, his mother’s were trying to non-fatally coax it out. 

“Clarke, you’re moving it further in. move it the-- oh sh---” Lexa dodged the bird as it perched itself on her keyboard. “Oh, fu--”

Clarke was moving forward trying to shoo it away. Neither wife saw their son slowly approach it. It may be moved sideways a few inches when it saw Clarke coming close with the broomstick, but it was too focused on it to notice. Atreyu’s hand quickly grabbed it. The boy was rational enough to not squeeze it.

The studio was silent for the first two seconds. Atreyu had a prideful smile, and his mothers were silently urging him to release it outside. He petted its head with his thumb. 

_ “Look, he’s soft!” _ The boy said with a smile. 

The boy was nice to wildlife. Like that one time when he was a baby and they went to a park and he didn’t care about a butterfly landing on his face. He saw no evil in these small creatures. 

“Atreyu, put it outside, please.” Lexa and Clarke tried to coax him. 

The boy frowned. He just held it close to his chest and sat down.

“Please.”

_ “I don’t want to!” _ he protested. 

He held it close and just continued to pet it. Lexa and Clarke made signals to each other. 

Clarke sighed.

“I hate to be the bad guy.”

Clarke grabbed the boy and took him outside. Lexa followed her distantly.

 “Son, you need to let it go.” 

Clarke tried to pry his hands off of it. But the boy wasn’t budging.

_ “Maman, please! I don’t want to let it go! He’s my friend!” _ Atreyu frowned. 

Clarke sighed again. 

“Son, he’ll come back.”

The boy just looked at the bird in his hand and it turned it’s head and chirped. 

“But he’s my _ friend.” _

Lexa watched from the doorway. Saw how Clarke interacted with their boy. Saw how careful Clarke was trying to be.

“You wanna know a thing about friends?” Clarke asked.

Atreyu looked up.

Clarke pinched his cheek, “They always come back.”

_ “Promise?” _

Clarke nodded, “Now, can you let him go?”

After a few seconds, Atreyu let it go, and the bird flew away. 

Yep, Lexa was sure that Clarke was way better at this whole ‘mothering’ thing. 

* * *

 

  
  


**Early-September, 2034**

  
  


“Be careful, Atreyu!” Lexa warned.

The older brunette herself nearly slipped. Her son was practically prancing through the woods like a deer.

\--A deer with a sugar rush.

The brunette was having a mini panic attack as the boy was nearing danger with every step, and she couldn’t do much about it. The boy chased after the birds and squirrels which meant they were weaving into the woods, away from the trail.  

_ “Mommy, look!” _ The boy pointed up into the trees.

He was moving so quickly that Lexa could not get a grip on anything. 

The boy kept moving forward, and Lexa after him. The second they got to a little ‘creek’, which was really a mud puddle.  _ Thank heavens for little boys, _ because as soon as Atreyu saw it, he gave Lexa a particular  _ look _ and jumped in. The older brunette sighed.

“Ah!”

“Oh good christ,” Lexa said. 

The boy was already jumping in the puddle. Atreyu convinced her to take them on a hike. Only, they wouldn’t go deep into the woods. That was the agreement. Especially since Lexa’s legs were acting up a bit. 

They needed to get back home safely. 

_ “Mommy, look!” _ Atreyu was proud of jumping up and down in the puddle.

Lexa had to chuckle. Although she was a little grateful that he wasn’t wearing white shoes. Or leather ones. He was a generally clean kid unless there was mud or crafts or ice cream. 

“C’ mon, little man, we’re not there yet,” Lexa said.

She extended her hand out for her son. The boy took his mother’s hand. They just continued walking. Atreyu noticed Lexa leaning her weight onto the cane.   
“You okay?”

Lexa nodded. 

_ “Why are you in pain almost all the time? And why do you use a cane like grandma’s do?” _ he asked.

Lexa had been taken aback a bit. She didn’t expect to be compared to an old woman yet. But she did feel like she was turning into one. As she got older, the worse things seemed to be getting. 

“Because…” Lexa wasn’t sure how she should explain this to her boy. “That’s how my body works.”

“Oh, so are your bones old, but the rest of you not that old?” he asked. 

His slight accent along with it made Lexa chuckle. That didn’t sound half bad.

“Yeah.” 

Atreyu stopped walking, and so did Lexa. He looked a little confused. Like he had so many questions. The ‘I-have-1000-questions’ look. 

“But did you have old bones when you were born?”

Lexa shook her head no. She was slightly amazed that Atreyu was voluntarily speaking in English. They were getting deeper and deeper into the woods.

“Then… why are they old now?” he asked. 

They approached a clearing where the trees chose not to grow, apparently. Atreyu looked up and around. Lexa could tell that he had that ‘I'm-gonna-imagine-this-is-something-weird’ face. 

“What if… your bones felt young when you went here?”

Lexa smiled, “You know, they are feeling a little better.”

Atreyu just ran in circles.

_ “It’s magic, it’s magic!” _ He switched right back to french.

_ That boy is gonna go places. _ Lexa sat on a nearby fallen tree stump and watched her boy. Atreyu ran and ran. He shouted out ideas for this place. Lexa couldn’t quite catch it all because it was in French, and it was frantic and all over the place. 

The brunette laughed at how goofy he was and snapped a photo to send to Clarke.

 

**Lexa: he looks more like your son.**

 

**Clarke: indeed. Unfortunately. The candy for lunch was not a good move.**

 

Atreyu kept running until he ran out of breath. Lexa had to admit that she was going to miss his goofiness when he would go off to school. Not being able to hang out with that little guy for a couple of hours in the day was something she wasn’t looking forward to. 

_ “... you and maman could rule like queens and the people would be called grounders! And I dunno what your name would be, but… it would be awesome, mommy!”  _

_ “What about Heda? Wouldn’t that be a cool name?” _

Atreyu stopped running and thought of it. 

_ “And your cane could be your staff!” _

With these ideas,  _ he could write a book. _ A franchise, maybe. He could be someone big. Alexander did say something about it being in the Woods genes. Something about all of them destined for greatness. 

Lexa agreed.  

The boy paused for a second. Eventually, he managed to get the energy out and was out cold on Lexa’s lap. The brunette held him and they stayed in the clearing for a bit. Lexa wanted to take the moment in. 

Their boy was growing up and she didn’t expect it to be this fast. 

The little brunette was  _ all _ Clarke. He had her eyes, her lashes, her smile. But the boy had his own personality. And she hoped that he would never change it. 

 

**Clarke: on my way home. Be safe. Text me if you need me to come look for you.**

 

**Lexa: okay. And don’t worry.**

 

Lexa tried to wake Atreyu. At first, the boy was reluctant and swatted her hand away. 

“Little guy, you need to wake up.”

He groaned. 

“We gotta get home.”

Lexa realized he wasn’t budging. So, the brunette got up and adjusted him in her arms. He rested his head on her shoulder. Lexa walked back to the house. The brunette leaned on her cane and held the boy’s weight with her other arm.

Thankfully they hadn’t ventured more than a mile. Maybe less than. Clarke was waiting for them in the backyard with a smile.

She kissed Lexa’s cheek, “Hey, you two.” 

She loved seeing Clarke after her shift. Finally being able to have her for the rest of the day was the best. The blonde moved to take Atreyu, noting the hunch in Lexa’s back.

“You guys have fun?”

Lexa nodded. The blonde rubbed her sleeping son’s back. 

“He’s going to school soon.”

Lexa had to admit that she preferred to have him dragging her into the woods than to send him off to school. 

“Wanna go inside and watch a movie? I’ll put this guy down for a nap.”

Lexa nodded.

* * *

 

Lexa ran her fingers through Clarke’s hair. She wasn’t paying much attention to the film. She was just savoring the small moment with Clarke holding her. It was the night before Atreyu had to start kindergarten. Neither woman was thrilled about it. 

And by ‘neither’.

_ Neither _ of them were ready to accept the fact that their boy was growing up. 

Lexa was flipping through the pictures and videos on her phone, her wife looking over her head. The memories ranged from the day he was born, to now. They looked at the picture of him with that tiny gummy smile. He must have been nearly a year old --nine months give or take. His hair was that baby soft that it still is to this day. He wore the cutest clothes, courtesy of Clarke, who did have better clothing taste out of both wives. (And he still did). 

The little boy was at the point in time where he played with toys. 

It was a fascinating thing for both women to see how their boy enjoyed his cars and blocks. And then, once he turned two-ish and was a bit more aware, he preferred the toys in nature. Sticks, rocks, grass. Anything he thought had the potential to keep him entertained. The animals as well. He knew more about squirrels than basic counting by the time he was three. 

Imagine a walking jeopardy game… that was him. You had to answer whatever questions came to mind, and sometimes they were so… off-putting that you had to answer them in question format as well. They weren’t weird or inappropriate. He was basically like an old man. Questions like that would usually be asked by an older kid, or maybe even a teenager.  

“Gosh, he was so small.” Clarke smiled looking at the picture.

Lexa nodded, “We waited for him…”

“Then we got him. And it was worth it. He’s the best son.”

The brunette snuggled up to Clarke. She swiped. Clarke let out a hard chuckle.

“The things we let him talk us into.”

_ Oh yeah. _ Not to mention the boy’s connection to nature-- he convinced them to go into the woods, a few miles east of the ‘Trikru’ (clearing). For his birthday. They snuggled up together (because it was January and pretty damn cold) and watched the stars and ate. Atreyu called it the ‘best birthday ever’.

Clarke looked down at Lexa with a smile, “We all got the cold that week.” 

The brunette nodded, “But he was happy and it was worth it.”

Her wife agreed. You could even see their red noses, from the early effects of the cold. Yeah, they didn’t want him to go at all.

“I remember when he was born…” Lexa playfully nudged her wife. “you were sleeping… and I held him, and I told him that… we would try our best, and that we loved him a lot since before he was born. And I was looking forward to watching him grow. I think he still remembers that. But I think that has to be my favourite memory of him.”

Clarke swiped this time and it was that picture. Him, hours old in Lexa’s arms. He was so small then and now he was a good 3 and a half feet tall. Maybe a little taller than that, even. Yep, they weren’t quite ready to watch him grow up this fast. 

“I asked Russell if he could delay my shift for two hours. I want to be there to drop him off.”

Lexa squeezed her wife. She was glad she had Clarke to do this with. 

* * *

 

“He smiled more than both of us did,” Clarke spoke again.

Lexa leaned her head on Clarke’s shoulder. Their boy was back home and exhausted. He was playing in his room, with his Legos. Since he was occupied on his own, both his mothers were in their room, it was not exactly the time for dinner yet. 

They were talking to them for a while now. Both of them held them on their lap. It felt weird to call the baby in the box an ‘it’ or ‘the box’ anymore. The baby was more than that to them. 

“He looked so handsome, Angel.”

A part of the two of them wished they would have gotten to see them grow up. Maybe taken them to school together and been able to raise both kids. But they had the conversation, that they were okay with Atreyu. 

“And when he came back home, he wouldn’t stop talking about the friends he made,”  Lexa added. 

She put her hand over Clarke’s. They were so proud of him, as much as not ready for him to get any older. 

_ “Why you guys talking to that box?” _ Atreyu asked. 

He sat on the foot of the bed. Both of them looked at each other. 

_He doesn’t know._ _Is he ready?_

“Come, sit here, son.” Clarke made sure to keep the small box safe and set it on his lap.

Atreyu looked back and forth between his moms. He had that curious look. Clarke looked to Lexa to get some sort of a sentence starter. 

_ “Is it an adult thing?” _ Atreyu tilted his head to the side. 

“Um… not quite,” Lexa said unsurely. “But it’s serious.”

“Okay.”

He snuggled up close to Clarke. He could tell in their eyes that this was serious. With wide eyes, he saw how his mothers silently communicated.

“Remember how we’ve told you that… you were born our rainbow baby?”

Atreyu nodded. Suddenly his mouth turned into an ‘o’. 

_ “So… isn’t there rain before a rainbow shows up?” _

Clarke nodded. They told him that as well when they got to the edge of the woods behind their house. Atreyu was so mesmerized by the scenery, seeing a rainbow in person. 

“And… before we had you, we were going to have another baby.”

His brows furrowed. Lexa’s hand found Clarke and her wife gave it a small affirming squeeze.

_ “What happened?” _

“The baby…” Clarke spoke up this time and her voice cracked.  _ “Died.” _

All three of them flinched at the word. 

“And the baby is here.” Clarke finished with a giant lump in her throat. 

Atreyu slightly nodded.

_ “Well… they’re in a better place now, right?” _ Atreyu asked.

Both mothers nodded. The boy put an arm around his maman to comfort her. The topic brought Clarke to tears sometimes even though she thought she would be ‘over it’. But she tried her best. And she came to terms with it. 

Lexa on the other hand, awkwardly turned her head away to cry. Atreyu cuddled into both his mothers, seeing how sad they were. 

_ “Can you tell them I had a good day at school?”  _ Atreyu asked.

Clarke hummed a ‘yes’.

_ “Can you tell them that I’m getting older?” _

Lexa sniffled as she looked at Clarke over Atreyu’s head. She whispered an ‘I love you’, which Clarke returned, as she reached over to wipe the stray tears. 

“We love you, Treyu.”

“Me too.”

* * *

 

  
  


**September, 2029**

  
  


_ Lexa was a few feet away in the kitchen. Clarke was on the floor in the living room with Atreyu. Since Atreyu was born, there were just more slews of clothes, toys, and everything. The boy was more attentive and aware, so they started bringing out the toys for the ages 6-12 months for him to play with. The little guy preferred his stuffed animals, though. _

_ “Hi, see this?” Clarke cooed. _

_ The blonde held out a little interactive book. It had these buttons that lit up when you pressed them and it read a sentence from the pages. Atreyu made a little sound and went ham on the buttons. Clarke laughed and Lexa poked her head out to see how he was enjoying his toys. She grabbed her phone and took a picture really quick. _

_ “Our little one is so adorable.” Lexa kissed the top of Clarke’s head.  _

_ Clarke hummed in agreement. In that split moment, Atreyu lifted the toy up, and the hard plastic hit his head. It wasn’t a tap, it was an evident pop. He cringed in pain and cried. His maman scooped him up and comforted him.  _

_ Lexa rubbed his back and the back of his head.   _

_ “Oh, little guy, are you okay?”  _

_ The two women stayed on the floor and comforted their boy.  _

_ “Shhh, it’s okay,” Lexa whispered soothingly. “You’re okay.” _

_ After a while, he calmed down and looked up. A little bump was on the front of his little head. _

_ “See? You’re okay.”  _

_ The blonde kissed his cheek.  _

_ “I saw you were reading, weren’t you, little guy?” Lexa said. “You’re growing up so fast, little guy.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Next update might show up later this week or next week. Have a good day/night. See ya!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ya'll! enjoy the new chapter.

 

 

**June, 2029**

  
  


_ They had a sorta long day. Clarke just got back from work, they had dinner, and they were just tired and wanting to cuddle into each other. Clarke chose a movie (Lexa insisted) and they sat on the couch watching. Lexa was holding the baby, and Clarke had her arm around Lexa, her head on her shoulder, and a small smile. Her wife’s taste in music was admirable. _

_ Atreyu was in and out of naps, and plain warm. He reached his little hands out and wiggle his fingers. _

_ “What do you want, Treyu?”  _

_ The little guy cooed. Clarke peeked her face out from behind Lexa’s shoulder and smiled, making him smile and coo. When Clarke moved her face back, he looked slightly confused.  _

_ Lexa gasped, “Where’s maman?” _

_ Clarke’s face ‘reappeared’. He looked up at his other mother immediately. Almost like ‘are you seeing this too?’ The woman chuckled. _

_ “You two are just the cutest right now.” Lexa chuckled.  _

_ The blonde continued playing with Atreyu.   _

_ “I’m… back.” _

_ He erupted in a belly laugh and hung his head back. It was seriously astonishing how this 6 month old was in stitches over a small peek-a-boo game. Lexa stood him on her lap. He put his hands on her face. When he moved his hands Lexa made a surprised face. _

_ He looked back at Clarke with eyes just as wide. _

_ “Did mommy disappear?”  _

_ He reached for Clarke and Clarke took him. He rested his head on her chest and pointed to Lexa. _

_ “Yeah, she’s there, son.” _

_ Lexa kissed the tops of their heads and couldn’t stop the smile forming on her face. _

_ And she didn’t think she wanted to stop smiling.  _

* * *

 

  
  


**November, 2035**

  
  


_ “Okay, Class, see you after lunch. Be sure to eat something!” _ The teacher called out as the kids scrambled out of the class. 

Atreyu sat in his seat and just looked at her. His teacher sat at her desk and began working on staff emails. The woman realized that one of her pupils was still in the classroom.

_ “Atreyu, are you not going to have lunch with your friends?” _

He shook his head ‘no’, “Um, no ma’am.”

He didn’t necessarily have  _ friends. _ They were just kids who hung around him constantly asking him more about Lexa than the new tv show. However, he had one  _ real _ friend, but she didn’t show up, due to a doctor’s appointment. Marcela or as everyone called her, Marce. She didn’t even have to think much about what his favourite colour was, she just remembered it. 

The teacher answered her class phone when it rang. 

_ “Yes! I heard about it. I suggested a field trip to the building since it’s not too far. The Ark has come a long way with the new management!” _

Something in that boy’s head clicked because he grabbed his coat, lunchbox, waved bye at his teacher and left. 

He left the school. 

It was an out of body experience for him. He didn’t realize he was doing it until he did it, and he was walking on the sidewalk. He didn't realize he was being followed until he heard and saw the flash of the first camera. His head shot back and it was almost certain that there was a picture of him with wide dilated pupils due to how bright the flash was. The brunette just ran.

Clarke and Lexa told him that he had young bones and muscles, so running was the best option. In Atreyu’s mind, those men seemed to have weak bones from the way they hunched over. The Ark was in sight in no time, due to the school being in the city as well. The closer he got to the lobby doors, the taller the building seemed. 

“Get away from--”

Atreyu came to a halt at the traffic light in the middle of the intersection. He was a healthy 15 feet from the paparazzi. There were roughly five more people at the traffic light as well. For a second the boy was second-guessing himself. He was a little scared.

He could see people walking in and out through the revolving door. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder, “C’mon, kid, you gonna cross?”

Atreyu nodded and started walking when the light turned green. He reached the door and avoided being trampled by a hair. Josephine was in the lobby when he entered. Right as he passed the threshold, she sat a pile of papers on the front desk.

“... he said to bring these down for you to send to HQ.”

Atreyu went to the elevator, but people had already crowded into them.  

_ “Atreyu? _ Wow, wait till your moms get ahold of this?”

The brunette smirked as the elevator doors opened. He stepped in and looked at the time. He took seven minutes, and the whole school got off for lunch for an hour. The second the elevator arrived at his destination, Atreyu was eager to get to his mom’s cube. On his way there, he could hear the overlapping chatter of everyone enjoying lunches and everything.

The closer he got to his mother’s cube, the better he could hear the conversation. 

_ “Yeah, I did it to the dog too. Henry was so fucking confused, like oh, where’s Tal?” _

It was clear who it was. Atreyu leaned a little against the wall and listened in.

“Wow, Mads, I knew you were smart, but you’re a-- I dunno a whole new level.”

_ “Thanks, ya’ll.” _

“I have an idea, you can do that to us, and set it up at mom and dad’s house and mess with them.”

Clarke nudged her arm, “Lexa, that’s  _ mean.” _

_ “What the hell? That’s actually not bad.” _

Atreyu thought to himself for a moment. _ They were going to his grandparent’s house? _ They spoke for two more minutes, Madi stating she had to go and spoon her husband to death. Atreyu counted to five before going in. Lexa gasped.

“Treyu? What--  _ how _ did you get here?” 

“Walk.”

_ “Walked.” _ Lexa corrected.

Clarke extended her arms and Atreyu went into them with a smile. 

_ “Are we going to Nono and Papa’s house?” _

“You heard that?”

Atreyu nodded and pointed at both his mothers, “Loud.”

“I-- you left school.”

* * *

 

Lexa scoffed, “Where is that boy, seriously?”

“Can’t believe he managed to do that twice. I don’t condone it, but it’s impressive.”

Lexa was letting dinner finish heating up, Clarke finished with some of her work, but their boy was who knew where. 

Lexa lowered the heat on the vegetables. 

“I can check his room and the guest room. Where are you checking?”

“Studio, pool, living room.” Clarke listed.

Lexa nodded and the two took off in different directions. They had to admit, they were good mothers, but then there was that 2% that just-- things would happen. Atreyu would leave, get upset, cry, say things weren’t fair, and then the two of them tried their best to deal with the situation. But this was. This was the third time Atreyu escaped, the first time, he was two, and made the mistake of going to the guest room instead of theirs. 

Offense two and three were history, and they just wanted it to be fixed. They wanted Atreyu to be safe this time. The boy’s name echoed throughout the home. Clarke wouldn’t allow herself to be weak. She simply acknowledged that he wasn’t hiding around in the living room. 

She would go to the studio then pool. She and Lexa were moving so fast they nearly collided. When Clarke cleared the studio, with no boy, she was slightly nervous to check for the pool. Atreyu knew to swim and all, but to check another spot and not see him there, it made her a little hopeless. Nothing.

He wasn’t in, out, around, or near the pool.

“Atreyu!”

She heard Lexa yell out. Clarke just turned her head over so fast, she nearly got whiplash. The blonde just ran over to her. Clarke was standing right where the woods was. A part of her didn’t want to think of Atreyu getting lost.

Lexa just tried to take deep breaths and held onto her. Clarke put reassuring arms around her wife. 

“It’s okay, babe. We’ll find him.”

Lexa looked at Clarke with tears in her eyes. Clarke kissed her and wiped the tears off her cheek. 

“It’ll be okay.” 

Clarke grabbed her phone out her back pocket and turned on the flashlight. 

“Atreyu! Where are you?!”

The blonde couldn’t help the way her voice cracked. 

“Wait! If he went into the woods, I think I know where he could have gone.” Lexa took Clarke’s hand and led her forward.

It was getting dark out and the night chills were getting close to hitting. Both women just wanted to get their boy and take him home, and just maybe get him to understand that running off like this was not okay. As the minutes passed, and the sun was disappearing, they squeezed each other’s hand to keep going. Clarke didn’t see the parallel until she was caught up in her thoughts. She couldn’t help but think back to the day when Lexa had ventured into the woods, and she had to go find her.  

She was feeling just as much fear at this moment. Lexa digressed from the trail, and Clarke was confused as to why they didn’t follow the trail going straight. In the distance, laughing could be heard. 

“That him?”

“Might be.”

“Hope it is.”

“Me too.”

The two women sped up their steps. Since it was getting darker, it was a little hard for Lexa to tell where the clearing would be coming up. Until a little body hit her legs. 

And it let out the shrillest scream known to man.

And Lexa may or may not have jumped into Clarke’s arms, bridal style.

“I want my moms!!!”

“Atreyu?” Clarke furrowed her brows.

Once their eyes got used to the darkness, she could tell. It was their boy. Atreyu physically and visibly relaxed.

_ “Oh. _ Am I in trouble?”

Clarke set Lexa down. The wives looked at each other and insisted they would talk about this later. 

“Let’s go,” Clarke said.

Atreyu frowned. He walked in front of them on their way back home. He didn’t mean to be bad. He was just having fun. 

* * *

 

“Clarke, we  _ have _ to talk to him.” Lexa leaned in close. 

Clarke was next to her stirring the lemonade. She nodded her head in agreement. But she was slightly unsure on how to do it. Especially since the boy never really got into trouble. Was this even considered trouble?

“Babe?” Lexa noticed her wife zoning out. 

Clarke cleared her throat, “Yeah, I agree. Ideas?”

“I was thinking… ‘Don’t do it again, you’re six it’s not safe’. He didn’t do something bad, so we shouldn’t go harsh on him.” Lexa was stirring the vegetables to get them heated up.

The blonde nodded at that. 

At the table, Atreyu was drinking some juice and laying on his tablet. Watching another one of those talk shows where the men had these ridiculous hair and clothing styles, and guests who were just as dumbly dressed. The video finished and another one started. The wifi or the system must have been slow because he couldn’t skip the commercial, and it was buffering. But he really wanted to watch the video by any means necessary. 

He heard hushed talking and looked up. 

_ “Welcome to the…” _

“We need to let him know that he can’t just do that. I was scared shitless.”

“Weren’t we both?”

_ “We have a very very very special guest here with us...” _

Atreyu knew in his head that they were talking about him. His mothers said he was a ‘very smart boy’ so he had to be  _ right, _ right?

“Also, the vegetables smell good.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek.  

Atreyu was listening quietly from the doorway. The studio laugh track played on the device which made their heads turn.

“So tell me already,” Atreyu said.

They both sighed, realizing that he probably overheard most of the conversation. 

“I didn’t mean to be… I didn’t mean anything bad.” he frowned.

His maman sighed and sat him on the countertop.

“We know, son. But it was scary for us not to find you. And it was scary for us to know that you walked out of school by yourself.”

The brunette came up behind her wife and put an arm around Clarke.

“Atreyu, six-year-olds should not be going on adventures without saying anything. You know why?” 

“Because we’re small.” Atreyu looked down.

Lexa lifted his chin, “Yes and no. But you can’t go leaving without telling us. You know, when we were younger, people, kids went missing.” 

“Even adults too?”

Both women nodded.

“You need to trust that we want you safe, Atreyu.”

The boy looked left and right to both moms. 

“You understand?” Clarke asked.

He nodded. 

“C’ mon, you’re not bad, Atreyu. Wanna know something?”

He hummed yes. 

“When I was little, I used to run around my parent’s jobs, and hide. And we would always get home an hour late because they could never find me so easily.”

Lexa and Atreyu lightly laughed. 

“Is that true?”

Clarke nodded. Lexa just continued laughing. When she lifted her face up, she was red. 

“Hey! Why are you making fun of my anecdote?” 

“I’m just--”

Now Lexa went into a half laughing half coughing fit. 

“Eww! Is it  _ that _ funny?”

_ “Mom’s so red!” _

Now everyone was laughing and dinner was burning.

“Please, Lexa, give us insight into your imagination. Tell us!”

“Please, mom!”

* * *

 

  
  


**October, 2004**

  
  


_ “Christ!” Jake exclaimed. _

_ Thelonious wasn’t very happy either. He had his things and he had his son’s things.  _

_ “She's gone as well?” _

_ Jake nodded. He set down his briefcase on his chair. He sighed, but then again, Abby worked through the night, so he was ordering pizza like always. He had time, but the two of them knew that if Clarke was hiding so was Wells and vice versa.  _

_ “I swear if they are covered in printer ink---” _

_ “I will take care of it.” _

_ Jacob ran through the hallways calling for them. He was tired. _

_ “Clarke!” _

_ The call was followed by high-pitched giggles. The two kids were close. His ears and focus were on high alert. _

_ “C’ mon! We gotta get home!” _

_ There were more hysterical giggles. _

_ “Wells! C’mon!” _

_ Jake peeked into the printer room. Nothing. But the laughs were close.  _

_ “Clarke!” _

_ He wasn’t sure how many doors he had to open until the giggling was a little louder than before. It was getting annoying after a while. He just wanted to get his daughter and go home. But he was grateful it didn’t happen at the hospital. It surely would have taken that full hour.  _

_ Once he opened the storage room door, the two little kids squealed. _

_ “Dad, you found us!” six-year-old Clarke laughed and tried to back up while hanging onto Wells. _

_ “Come on, can we go home?” _

_ “No, our day at work isn’t done!” The two protested. _

_ “It’s done now, let's go.” _

_ Clarke pouted, “Please?” _

_ “You can keep the pineapple on the pizza.” _

_ “Really?!” _

_ “Yes, let's go, please?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love that kid? Hahaha. Thanks for reaching the end of the update. Be sure to leave a kudo and a comment. See you next update.


	35. Chapter 35

  
  


**Early July, 2036**

  
  


When they told Atreyu about going to the US, the boy was so excited. The boy had never been. Save for when Clarke didn’t know she was pregnant, but he was a  _ literal seed. _

And both women were more than excited to take him as well. They never imagined that he would walk where they did when they were little. 

“Which shorts do you want to take? Remember at least three.”

“Um…” 

Clarke and Atreyu agreed that Atreyu could not pack his bag properly by himself. They tried so last time. They had to buy him clothes, but he had some toys to keep him occupied. The boy chose light jean shorts, khaki, and some white shorts. 

“Shirts?”

“You pick, please?” he asked.

Clarke chuckled, “Okay, son.”

Atreyu ran off downstairs. 

Seriously, he was so excited. When he got there, he arrived to an aroma of smells. Lexa was definitely making lunch. He came up next to Lexa and watched as Lexa stirred the pasta.

“Excited to see everyone soon?”

Atreyu nodded. Lexa scuffled the top of his head. The boy knew to keep his distance from the hot burner. Lexa said so a long time ago. And the surface was hot even when not watching.

“Careful. Go watch tv until lunch is done, okay?”

The boy eagerly ran to the couch. Lexa chuckled to herself. Her son was more than excited to go meet everyone in person finally. The tv wasn’t even turned on for more than two minutes before he was laughing. The older brunette drained the water and began adding the alfredo sauce. 

It was a known fact that Clarke and Atreyu liked Alfredo sauce in their pasta. 

When Atreyu let out a hearty laugh, Lexa shook her head and smirked to herself. She felt a body against her back. 

“Hey there,” Clarke whispered against her ear.

Her voice sent chills down Lexa’s spine and the older brunette slightly gasped before turning around. She deeply kissed her wife. And Clarke could practically taste Lexa’s words of excitement. Even though she didn’t have to really say anything. And neither of them had to figure out who let out a little hum. 

“Hey.”

Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke’s with a smile. The blonde placed her hands around Lexa’s waist and put a hand on her cheek. Being oh so gentle. It felt timeless in that moment.

So timeless in fact that the fire detector went off.

“Shit.”

The blonde helped her by grabbing a stool and shutting it off. 

_ “Is it a real fire?” _ Atreyu asked from the couch.

“No, it’s okay, little guy. But lunch is ready.” Lexa said.

“It didn’t burn?” Clarke asked bringing the plates from the cabinet.

“Nope, it’s just maybe a little warmer.”

Lexa snuck a quick peck to the top of Clarke’s head. The blonde felt ridiculous blushing but it was something she couldn’t and didn’t want to help. She loved the way Lexa made her feel. As expected, Atreyu sat on the couch a little longer watching the show finish up. The two didn’t mind. In fact, it let them fix up the table.

“Atreyu?”

“Coming.” The boy paused and leaped over the back of the couch.

His face lit up when he saw his other added the sauce to it. (Even though Lexa  _ always  _ added alfredo sauce to it). He sat comfortably on the seat. 

“What do you want to drink?”

“Mango, please.”

The blonde turned to Lexa, “Sweet tea.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Lexa sat at the table with Atreyu. As soon as the plate touched the table, Atreyu was ravaging the food. 

“Slow down, son.” Clarke put her hand on his back and set his juice down in front of him. 

The advice fell on deaf ears. Clarke and Lexa were eating like slugs compared to him. 

“We leave in two days.” Atreyu reminded for the tenth time in the day.

“Yup, we leave soon.” Both women smiled. 

* * *

 

“Thank you, Titus,” Lexa said.

The older man brought Clarke into an embrace. He assisted with carrying a half-asleep Atreyu onto the plane. 

“No problem, Lexa.”

Titus gave Lexa a hug as well. The flight was early in the morning. 4:30 (yes that early). So Atreyu was struggling to keep himself awake, obviously failing. He didn’t even realize that Titus was carrying him into the private aircraft.

Lexa and Clarke were not exactly well rested either, but they figured they could rest on the plane. The brunette held Clarke’s hand tight. Her wife gave her a reassuring smile. They made their way to the back.

“Get some sleep you three. I’ll give you some updates.” Titus suggested as they sat on the bed.

Lexa nodded and smiled. It was nice to see the man after all these years. Atreyu was on his stomach and snoring away. Lexa brought the blanket up to cover him, and she cuddled up with Clarke. The brunette sighed into the embrace. 

“I love you two so much.” Lexa kissed her.

“Me too.” Clarke nuzzled the tips of their noses together and elicited a smile from Lexa. “Rest up. It’s a big day tomorrow.”

Lexa just held her wife close.

The brunette couldn’t help but not fall asleep so easily. She made sure her wife and child were asleep first. Even then, she still couldn’t get herself to sleep. She was so excited to see everyone after so much time. She sent a handful of update messages to the group chat. 

Eventually, Lexa started to feel a little airsick and she made herself go to sleep. 

A few hours later, Clarke woke up, and it was bright outside. They were still high in the air, though. Atreyu was awake and playing on his tablet. Quietly curled up against his mom’s side.

“You sleep good, son?” 

Atreyu nodded. Clarke headed to the bathroom to relieve her bladder and returned.

“Crap, did I wake you?” Clarke asked, feeling slightly guilty if she did.

“Not really. I’m just airsick, and you were comfy.” 

The brunette stretched her arms and legs a little. The blonde settled back into bed. 

_ “When do we get there?” _

“A few more hours, son.”

“Aww.” Atreyu pouted. 

Both women chuckled. But the boy was over it as he continued playing and clicking away on his gadget. Clarke kissed the top of Lexa’s head.

“Is there anything I can do for the airsickness?”

“Stay here with me? It'll pass.”

Clarke nodded and let Lexa rest her head in the nook between her shoulder. There were a few moments of blissful silence that both women enjoyed. That was until Atreyu let out an annoyed sigh. 

“Can I go see what Titus is doing?”

“Fine, but don’t wake him.”

The boy got up, and left the room, going towards the main seats of the aircraft. There was a semi-loud ‘Titus.’ And both women chuckled. Clarke traced Lexa’s jaw-line with her index finger. It traced up, then back down, making the brunette smile. Regardless of having the worst headache, and this insatiable pressure in her eardrums, she had to smile at the gentle affection. 

Clarke kissed her wife’s cheek and was worried about Lexa. No matter how much Lexa insisted she was fine, Clarke could tell that the headache was kicking her ass. 

“Your back and everything else good?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa shrugged. She was in a bit of pain, probably since waking up early and being stressed. She didn’t want to admit that it was slowly getting worse and worse as she got older. And Lexa wondered if her bones were just going back to getting old like before. In which case, she wasn’t happy about it. 

She didn’t want to be in pain all the time. She knew she would be less mopey, but she sure didn’t want to go back to that time in her life. 

“Well… I’m here.” 

“Yeah, you are.”

If it was even really possible, she weaseled herself back into Clarke’s warmth. 

* * *

 

 " _ All _ these people came to see us?” Atreyu looked out the window of the plane. 

He was awkwardly putting Titus’ head down to look out. Clarke saw and immediately pulled the boy back so he wouldn’t squash him. He was in complete awe of America. He couldn’t help but note it looked like Paris. His face was pressed against the glass.

He could see everyone, crowded against the glass windows of the airport. For a second he thought maybe his maman might’ve designed it. It looked like something she would do. 

“Yeah, little man.” Lexa chuckled and kissed his cheek. 

Atreyu’s eye opened wide, “Is nono, and all my aunties, and grandpa and Lincoln coming?”

Lexa nodded. Atreyu just jumped up and down. The second the plane landed, they were all bursting with excitement. When the door finally opened, Atreyu nearly belly-flopped out. Finally, both women got their son and things in order, thanks to Titus. The man took Atreyu’s hand and was still occasionally being dragged. 

But Atreyu was literally itching to see them. Lexa took Atreyu’s hand and kept jumping and jumping. Both women hoped that they could survive to see baggage claim. 

“Little man, save that excitement okay, we have to get through the airport.”

_ “So... we’re not gonna see them right away?” _ Atreyu furrowed her brows.

“Maybe in thirty or so minutes.” Clarke reaffirmed. 

This made the boy sigh and sag his shoulders. To lift his spirits, Lexa scruffled his hair and gave him a smile. Maybe one day he would understand that the thirty extra minutes of waiting would be something to dwell on. They walked through the gate and they had to admit that they were just as excited as the little boy.

Customs was quick, and Lexa couldn’t help but think that it was because of her. The way the guy behind the glass looked at her was lowkey fanatic. Then it was going through the rest of the airport and teaching Atreyu words on the signs, and letting him check out the souvenir shops. 

“You like it here, son?” Clarke asked.

Still engulfed in what was happening, he nodded. Clarke smiled at her wife. They wanted him to see everyone else now. They already had their bags. They still had to get through the rest of the airport. 

One thing that didn’t change about the airport was the busyness. 

 Slowly they got closer to the crowd of people. Some were for others, but a third were for them.

“Can I go hug, please?” Atreyu tugged on his mom’s hand.

They hadn’t been noticed, but Atreyu had long recognized them. Lexa let go of his hand and Atreyu took off. 

“Nono!”

“Oh, Atreyu!”

Anastasia was caught off guard for a second, but caught her grandson, and lifted him up in her arms. Lexa furrowed her brows. She noticed her parents and their friends. But Clarke’s parents weren’t there. 

“Jake didn’t at least make it?”

“He said that his shift would end in two hours, then he would pop by. Abby has one of those doctor shifts.”

“Oh okay.” 

The brunette took her wife’s hand. 

“Tias!” A twelve-year-old hugged them both tight.

“Daya.”

At the sight of the girl they smiled. She grew to be an exact copy of Raven. There were slight differences, but she was the picture copy. 

“You guys!”

Like Atreyu, they found themselves sandwiched between all their friends. 

“I would like to see my girls.” Anastasia declared as she took both wives into her arms. “How are you two? It’s been a while.”

“Good. We missed you a lot.”

“Let’s get you guys home for dinner, okay?”

“Sounds good, mom.”

* * *

 

“We haven’t been with each other for a while. I wanted two nights to ourselves. Is that okay?” Clarke asked gently against her lips.

Lexa smiled back, flattered, “It sounds perfect, and it’s nice here.” 

Clarke leaned in to kiss her and gently held onto her waist. Lexa hummed into it and closed the door as best she could while not breaking the kiss. They had the nice hotel room, time for themselves, and it was evident that the two of them wanted to take advantage of this moment. The blonde pulled away for a moment to lead her to the bed. Lexa shucked off her heels as best she could. 

Clarke sat on the edge of the bed, and Lexa straddled her lap. The brunette let out heavy breaths against Clarke’s neck that just turned her wife on more and more. 

“I dropped something off here a few hours before.”

Lexa just smirked at the thought of Clarke filling her up. She even moaned a little. 

“But… you’re a little  _ too _ dressed.” Clarke kissed her next, almost feeling her pulse on her lips.

She helped Lexa remove her shirt and pants.

“I’m gonna get them.”

“Don’t undress, I wanna do it for you,” Lexa called out. 

She quickly removed her bra and panties and grew wetter at the sight of Clarke with a box that was long and small and a small bag. The blonde listened to her wife. The only thing she removed were her heels. Clarke looked up to see a hungry look in her wife’s eyes, with just as much as a hungry look in hers. Seeing Lexa splayed on the bed was just--

“Fuck.” Clarke moaned and bit her lip.

Lexa leaned her head down on her chest and looked at her hungrily.

“It’s a little different than what we usually use.” Clarke chewed a little on her lip. 

Lexa’s pussy was throbbing and aching and yearning for Clarke. 

“Babe, please.”

Lexa was about to shove her fingers into herself if Clarke didn’t come any closer within the next thirty seconds. 

_ “Please.” _

Lexa clenched the sheets to keep her hands from moving. Clarke took a step forward. She looked at the things she had, and back at Lexa. 

After a few seconds, Clarke quickly moved to the bed. Sitting up on the bed, Lexa wasn’t all the way sure what the box and bag contained. Clarke did leave around six earlier in the day, returning with the parcels. Clarke sat on the edge of the bed kissing her nice and hard. As soon as her lips touched her wife’s, Lexa let out a moan. 

Clarke pulled away and opened the box.

“It’s just a strap on?” 

“Yes, but, there’s also a vibrator built in. You can control it too.”

Lexa moaned at the thought.

Clarke smiled, “I thought it would be a good change from what we usually use.”

“Why do you make us sound old-fashioned?” Lexa asked as she grazed her fingers along the hem of the blonde’s shirt. 

Slowly, she raised it higher up Clarke’s torso, and the blonde raised her arms to let Lexa peel off her shirt. 

“I don’t think we’re old-fashioned, I just think that we’ve used regular strap-ons for so long,” Clarke said. 

Lexa hummed, “What’s in there?”  

Lexa motioned to the bag.

“Lube.”

“I don’t think we’re gonna need that this go around.”

Clarke furrowed her brows for a quick second, then figured it out, and smirked. She took her pants off and gave Lexa a prideful grin, enjoying the look of shaking hunger in her eyes.

“Stop stalling, and fuck me, please,” Lexa begged. 

Clarke didn’t need to be told twice as she put her hand on Lexa’s pelvic bone and dragged it down to Lexa’s wet cunt. Gently, she dragged two digits up Lexa’s slit, effectively making the brunette squirm. Once her fingers were coated, she moved them into Lexa’s fuck hole. 

“God!” 

Clarke could tell she needed more.

“Take all that off, and--  _ ngah!” _

There was a little smirk on Clarke’s face. Lexa helped her get her panties off. 

By now, the new toy was dropped on the floor and Clarke was on top of Lexa, kissing her, and working her fingers on Lexa’s pussy. For a second, they nearly forgot how great the sex was. But Lexa was quickly reminded, as she almost came within a minute of having Clarke’s full attention. 

Clarke wanted to try the strap on before the night ended, but she focused on giving Lexa the first orgasm of the evening .

_ “Oh--  oh Clarke! Ah! Clarke!” _

Above her, her wife had her legs wide open, and her toes were curling and pale. Clarke was in heaven as well, enjoying Lexa’s taste. She shoved her tongue in and out of Lexa’s tongue, lapping up her wetness, then finding her clit, and sucking it, while she pulled her folds away with her right thumb.

Occasionally, Lexa would take a deep inhale and slightly raise her body up a little. Her moans were just doing something to Clarke that made her just keep eating her out with a bit more fervor than a few seconds before. 

“Jesus!”

Clarke smiled pridefully at herself, and it translated through Lexa’s clit. 

“I’m gonna cum! I’m gon-- oh my god!”

The sweet talk though, Clarke  _ loved _ it. Lexa’s fingers tangled through blonde locks, and the blonde was okay with having her face shoved closer into Lexa’s pussy. This was something she was enjoying very much. 

_ “Aahhh!” _ Lexa came hard, and was feeling a little high as waves of orgasm flooded her southern regions, and she took quick deep breaths. “Mmm-hhh...My god.”

Lexa licked her lips.

“Babe, I think I wanna try out that strap.” Lexa looked down at Clarke.

The blonde separated her mouth from Lexa and licked her lips at the thought. She was glad to finally get a try. 

Clarke got off the bed and found it on the package. She held it out towards Lexa.

“You, try it on?” Lexa asked. 

_ “Oh.” _

Clarke finally understood the clarification. She strapped it onto her body, felt the inch long stimulator settle into her pussy, and she turned on the remote. She turned on the low setting and she instantly felt it. Lexa put her hand around the cock and smiled when she could feel the vibrations just as strong. 

“Fuck me hard, babe. Don’t stop. Don’t stop until I tell you. I want you to make me cum so many fucking times I--”

“I will. But if I hurt you, tell me.”

Lexa simmered down on the horny aggressiveness a d nodded. 

“Can we try level three?”

Clarke nodded, and she instantly felt it. She gave an audible moan. When Clarke finally came to her senses and settled herself between Lexa’s legs, she bottomed out and Lexa put her arms around her neck. Lexa moved her hips, giving her wife the signal to move. The vibrations settings had Clarke trembling like a fool already, so her thrusts started relatively slow. 

Lexa wasn’t prepared either, because she was a moaning mess under Clarke. 

“Yes! Oh my god! Yes, baby!” 

Clarke smiled and latched her lips on the side of her neck. 

“You like that?” Clarke whispered.

Lexa nodded and hummed, “Faster.” 

Clarke sped up her hips. Lexa couldn’t help but moan a little louder as the right places were being hit just right, just enough times. When Lexa came, her face was red, and hidden between the apex of Clarke’s shoulder. However, she wasn’t satiated. When Clarke came, she sucked hard on Lexa’s neck.

She quivered and let out a mewl.

Without warning, Lexa flipped them over and rolled her hips lightly as she kissed her lips.

“You know, I wouldn’t be opposed to taking advantage of the next two nights. And spending all of it with you.” 

“Yeah?” Clarke cupped her face. 

Lexa nodded and rolled her hips. 

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

After spending the night at his aunt Gaia’s and uncle Jasper’s house with Anya, Octavia, and Lincoln, the boy was excited to see his moms. Although he wouldn’t get to see Lexa until the end of the day, he was excited for a day with his maman and her parents. He had put on some jean shorts and one of the shirts he brought with him and a pair of slip on shoes. Oddly, he woke up at random times in the night and was feeling extremely tired now. Gaia turned on some cartoons for him while she, Octavia and Anya figured out breakfast.

Lincoln was still sleeping, and Jasper was showering. After a while of jokes in english that he didn’t understand, he stood up and joined them in the kitchen. 

“What are you guys…” Atreyu tried to hoist himself up onto the stool. “Making?”

“Waffles. A lot of them. Your moms make you waffles?” Anya asked.

Atreyu nodded with a smile. Often, Clarke would make him blueberry waffles, while Lexa made him chocolate. 

“But we don’t buy them from the store. Apparently it’s bad for you.”

Atreyu furrowed his brows, “How?”

“Germs.”

Atreyu cringed at the thought. But he still enjoyed homemade waffles. 

“But that’s why we’re making. Them here, for our favourite nephew.”

“I’m your only nephew.” Atreyu laughed as Octavia pinched his cheek. 

After breakfast, he returned to the couch with Gaia after Anya insisted she could clean up. The boy cuddled up into his aunt's side and found himself falling asleep within minutes. He felt much more at home in America with his aunts and uncles and everyone. He preferred to be at a closer distance to them. Ever since he spoke to them on the phone since forever, he never thought about how much his moms maybe missed their friends as well.

The boy felt himself being lifted up into a comfortable set of arms and some talking as he adjusted his face in the crook of their neck. He didn’t want to wake up. Thankfully, the person carrying him didn’t make him. Just moments later, he felt himself being nudged away.

“Atreyu…” The voice was quiet and familiar. “Son, wake up. Atre-- Atreyu.”

Finally, he opened his eyes and noticed he was sitting in a car with his maman. Although, he didn’t know where they were going. Or remember. 

“Where we going?” Atreyu asked. 

The woman rustled the sleep out of his hair, “Grandpa and Grandma’s house.” 

“Oh, yeah.”

It was all coming back to him now. Clarke and Lexa established that before running off to the hotel. However, at the time, he was too engulfed in watching the movie and hopping from couch to couch to remember it.

“Are they gonna like me?” Atreyu asked.

He had never met them. Until now. The under stopped at the front of the Griffin house and Atreyu analyzed it confused. The house looked old and mature for children. He wondered how his maman even managed to grow up. 

Clarke took his hand and they walked to the door. Atreyu was a little worried. Clarke knocked on the door. The boy leaned against his mother’s side. When the door opened, he tensed. 

The man on the other side of the threshold had a calm smile. Suddenly Atreyu could tell that he was a kind person. 

“Hey, dad.”

“Clarke, is this Atreyu?”

The boy nodded and gave him a smile. His grandfather offered a hand to shake which he shook. 

“Come on inside, I made you guys some lunch.” Jake urged them. 

When Atreyu took a step into the house, he noticed how it was decorated. It looked very well-kempt. He was nervous to break something just by breathing within a meter of it. 

“This where I grew up, son. What do you think?”

“It’s… nice.”

Atreyu was just taking everything in. 

“Where’s grandma.”

Things paused for a second.  _ Oh, she might be dead. I shouldn’t have said that.  _ Atreyu had that regretful expression.

“She’s taking a nap, she was at work all night. But she’ll be up for dinner. Why don’t you watch tv while lunch is getting finished?” Jake said.

Atreyu nodded. He was led to the kitchen and then left with the remote. Clarke and Jake went to the kitchen to talk. Atreyu wasn’t really satisfied with flipping channels. So he decided to take off up the stairs like a secret agent. 

There were only three rooms upstairs. Clarke’s old room, Jake and Abby’s room, and an office. It was evident which room was which. 

Atreyu saw Clarke’s room and it was nicely decorated. There were stickers of NSYNC, BACKSTREET, and many musicians. There were select pictures of Clarke with childhood friends at camps, parties, events. The sheets were plain light blue and there was a lot of artwork adorning the walls as well. 

Atreyu wanted to see the office so he walked to the door at the end of the hall. He thought he could recognize what rooms were what until he walked into a dark room with the blinds and everything closed. He took a few steps forward. That was when he could decipher a bed and a body. Right when he moved to get out, he heard her.

“Atreyu?”

“Um… grandma?”

He didn’t know if he should turn the light on because he couldn’t see. 

“You can turn on the light, it’s okay.”

Atreyu did so and saw Abby sitting up with a light blanket. She still had on her scrubs. At the sight of her grandson, she was slightly amazed. Seeing her daughter’s son there-- just the fact that Clarke had a child was still mind-blowing.

“Hi. Sorry, I woke you up.” Atreyu said.

“You’re fine. Come here.”

Abby opened her arms and Atreyu hugged her back. Something about meeting her grandson made her want to try more. 

“You look just like your mom,” Abby said.

Atreyu laughed, “Everybody says that.”

* * *

Clarke took Lexa’s hand and led her off the crowded porch where everyone was eating, talking, and laughing. They went to the upstairs guest bathroom and the first thing they did was grab each other’s faces and kiss.

“I missed you all day.” Lexa locked the door while they shared strong and sweet kisses. 

Clarke smiled against her lips, “Me too. Did you have a good day?”

Lexa hummed a ‘yes’ into the kiss. Clarke brought her hands up to cup Lexa’s face to make the kiss deeper. Arousal began to peak for the two of them, and they were going to soothe it. 


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I wasn’t gonna be able to get this chapter out in time but i guess I did. Enjoy.

 

 

**August, 2040**

  
  


Atreyu ran into the house through the backdoor. This was a new house.  _ The new house. _ Right in the States so they wouldn’t be so far from their family anymore. 

The eleven year old was hesitant to leave but after awhile he got used to it. He ran up the stairs.

_ “Can you hold on for a second?” _ he asked. 

“Okay, but hurry.” Lexa said.

The house was a nice carriage house. There were good sized glass windows, three floors, a nice white finished on the outside, and it was appropriately sized for the three of them. The living room and kitchen were on the first floor. The bedrooms were on the second floor, and there was a nice terrace on the third floor where Atreyu spent most of his time. Lexa used her old studio.

When she played at home, she would play on the terrace and watch Atreyu tumble and hang out. Clarke did her artwork practically everywhere. She returned to her old spot at work, Kane basically gave her the spot since the last head of agriculture retired.

They were adjusting pretty well. 

Atreyu ran back downstairs. With some clean shoes and flew out the door past Lexa. The older brunette shook her head and locked the door, following after him slowly. Unfortunately, as the years passed, her condition was slowly worsening. She had gone back to using her cane, something she hadn’t used since before Atreyu was born, and occasionally on the bad days. 

“The door’s unlocked.” Lexa said as she slowly made her way down the stairs.

Atreyu saw that Lexa was having slight trouble, and returned to help her down.

“Thanks, man.”

“It’s okay.”

The boy had gotten so big (taller than Clarke, nearly as tall as Lexa), with a fairly good maturity level. Finally they got into the car and drove. 

“Mom, is Finn and Kyle gonna be there?” Atreyu asked as he played around with the stations on the radio. 

His taste in music was odd. The boy never listened to anything in english. Nothing. His favourite languages were portugese and french. The pronunciations really caught his ear.

“Not until Friday.”

“Oh, okay.”

Lexa spent most of the car ride trying to pick out the words and figure out what the song was saying. Meanwhile, Atreyu was bopping to the beat. 

“What are we gonna do tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. We can talk about it at dinner with your maman.”

“Okay. but I want to do something nice and chill. No more niagara falls trips, please.”

Lexa chuckled, “You don’t like going there?”

Atreyu shook his head. It was basically a pretty rock and a small stream going down. It wasn’t the waterfall it used to be.  

“Okay, son.”

* * *

 

  
  


**January, 2035**

  
  


_ “Should we be concerned.” Lexa asked. _

_ Clarke had to laugh, “Hey, at least he isn’t glued to a device.” _

_ Lexa shrugged and gave her that. Meanwhile Atreyu was running ahead of them at full speed. They weren’t really concerned about losing him since he knew the woods pretty well (due to his random and unannounced excursions).  _

_ “And we get some exercise. We haven’t really gone out to walk in a while.” Clarke said. _

_ Both women were conquering the French woods hand in hand. It was a bit ironic all they were missing was going off to war or something and it could truly be the plot to a good story.  _

_ “Why you guys walking’ so slow?” Atreyu groaned. _

_ “We’re not runners little man.” Lexa replied. _

_ Eventually the boy decided to put two and two together and waited for his mothers. He took Clarke’s hand and jumped excitedly as they got closer and closer to their spot. If anything, both mothers were more than okay with their six-year-old staying this little. Although they weren’t fans of trekking through the snow-filled woods, they were willing to do it for Atreyu. _

* * *

The three of them were spending the day together. They had gone out to eat for nearly two hours due to Atreyu eating nearly six plates (his mothers had to step in and stop him). And now they were just walking around the city and shopping. There was a crunching sound that made Clarke turn her head.

“Where did the bag of chips come from?” Clarke asked.

Atreyu lowered the chip bag and looked around. Clarke chuckled. 

“Oh, can we go in there?” 

The boy pointed out Prime. For the most part it was a good clothing store, but the women didn’t understand how style changed into this. 

They had jumpsuits but tight and might be worn by a prisoner, the jeans were 80’s like and tight with better material, they had shoes straight from back to the future, and it was just-- both women preferred to be in the early 2000s than to see kids wearing this. They would rather see Atreyu wear low rider jeans than these pants. It was a modern day Spencer’s. But at least Atreyu knew how to combine the clothes.

Atreyu didn’t buy from the store often but he liked to walk in there as much as possible to annoy his mothers. He had a firm smirk on his face as they entered with grudges. 

After leaving the store, they continued through the busy New York streets. Atreyu pointed out a ferris wheel. He rode one back in Paris, but never here. 

“It has lights just like the one in France, look!” 

“Yeah, I see.”

Atreyu was dazzled by the city, the sights. No matter how often he went, he was still amazed by the culture, the people, the city, the lights.

Soon, the sun was falling and they were back home with bags from a whole bunch of stores.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Lexa suggested.

She wanted to do something that didn’t involve walking anymore. Her legs were killing her, and she thought she might need to use her cane. Clarke and Lexa agreed. Atreyu headed upstairs to change into pajamas, Clarke suggested to make the popcorn while Lexa went for the living room to get the tv turned on,

“Which one?” Lexa flipped through Netflix’s home page. 

There were so many options.

“Not Neverending Story!” Atreyu blurted.

Lexa dropped her jaw to make an offended look. But it was funny enough to make Atreyu laugh. Clarke came around the back of the couch and sat next to Lexa with a big bowl of popcorn. Atreyu stuck his hand in and took a handful. They ultimately began picking an apocalypse/ futuristic movie and couldn’t help but make fun of it the whole time.

“That’s what they thought it was gonna be like this year?” Atreyu furrowed his brows. 

If half that technology existed today, he would feel like some sort of god, or actually privileged. However, the three of them cuddled up against each other and watched and laughed. Lexa shagged her son’s hair, making him laugh a little more. Neither woman could believe that their boy was growing up. Much less at this rate. 

But everyday, they could tell that Atreyu was going to grow to be a good man. By one in the morning, Atreyu had fallen asleep with his head rest on his mom’s shoulder. Clarke and Lexa picked another movie to watch. 

“I love the two of you.”

Clarke looked at her with a smile and kissed her.

“Me too.”

The blonde rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder and rested her hand on her thigh. 

“Your legs still holding up after all the walking?0

Lexa scoffed, “Barely.”

“I could rub them when we go to bed.” Clarke offered.

“Please.”

“Of course.” 

Clarke kissed her again. Lexa smiled and blushed like always. As if they were at the start of their relationship again. The following morning, the three of them woke up in the same spots. 

* * *

 

The boy had finished the school day about an hour and a half ago. Homework was done and he was relishing in the rest of the day. He grabbed his bike and rode around the strip of the driveway and neighborhood.

“Hey maman.”

The boy brought the bike to a stop in the driveway. Clarke had finally arrived home from work. She kissed the top of her boy’s head after a long day, and a hunch hour of not seeing him.

“Did you have a good day at school?” She asked.

Atreyu nodded following her into the house. When Clarke came home, dinner was usually done or getting finished. So when the door opened, the smell of dinner hit them in the faces. 

“Hey, sweetheart!”

Clarke loved being called that again. She didn’t know if it was being back in the US that sparkled Lexa to call her that again. Or if was a thing of bringing back the nickname coincidentally at the time, but she loved the nickname so she wasn’t complaining. 

“Hey.”

Clarke came up behind her, and carefully wrapping her arms around her face, taking Lexa’s pain into account.

“Good day at work?”

Clarke hummed a yes into her ear.

“Can I ride a little more until dinner’s ready?” Atreyu asked.

“Okay.” They said.

The boy was back outside in no time. 

“Did you have a good day?”

Lexa nodded, “After I dropped Atreyu off at school I was at the studio for a few hours.”

Clarke rested her head on her shoulder making Lexa laugh a little, “You have any progress?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s my smart wife.”

Lexa chuckled hard. Lexa started dinner a few minutes later, so it was ten more minutes for it to fully heat up. They watched Atreyu fool around on the bike, falling continuously. It was odd that he couldn’t balance himself right on it at times. 

“I’m gonna help him out.” Clarke said.

She went down and helped steady him. The boy struggled with his balance for a few feet before he took off down the road just fine. 

“Thanks maman!” He took a wide turn going back.

Lexa chuckled from the window meeting Clarke’s gaze.

“I love you so much.”

“Me too.”

Atreyu circled back and as he slowed down he tipped on the bike but didn’t cry. 

“You okay, man?” Lexa asked.

Atreyu got up and dusted himself up as if nothing really happened. 

“Is lunch ready now?”

Lexa shrugged, “Probably, man.”

As Atreyu bolted back indoors, Clarke held Lexa close for a moment. She felt that this was the primest part in their life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was a little too short. Promise I’ll make the last chapters (yes, we are nearing the end) a little longer to keep the story here a little longer.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present the chapter.

 

 

**July, 2041**

  
  


Atreyu was sitting next to Lexa reading a book aloud to her to keep her company.

“You okay, mom?” He asked quietly, trying his best to not wake her up all the way.

Lexa hummed an affirmative ‘yes’. The brunette’s health was just going down the drain and one understood why. She took her medication but that only worked for a little bit. Lexa had scheduled an appointment but she wouldn’t attend it until September of the upcoming months. She didn’t want her boy or wife to be a witness to her downfall. 

She didn’t think it was fair.

“Well… I’m here. And I’m texting maman updates.” 

Lexa turned around gently and ruffled his hair.

She really didn’t think she deserved such a good son. 

“Ok, thank you, man.”

Atreyu smiled and continued reading the e-book to her. When they were let out for summer break, the teachers suggested that everyone read at least two books. So this came in handy after all. Within an hour or so, there were footsteps up the stairs.

“How are my loves doing?” Clarke asked as she kissed her wife in the lips and her son on his head. 

She looked a little exhausted from work. Since Lexa couldn’t even stand up without pain, the lunch break visits had stopped (temporarily) and she was seeing Lexa and Atreyu awake just now. 

“Thanks for being such a helper, son.”

“It’s fine.”

“I brought some take-out. How does that and a movie sound?” Clarke quirked her brow as she smoothed out the hair on Lexa’s forehead.

Atreyu gasped and nodded while Lexa smiled and enjoyed Clarke’s gentle hand.

“Sounds good.”

“‘Kay, I’ll be back. Don’t get into trouble.”

Lexa chuckled hard. What trouble was she gonna get into if she couldn’t even lift a leg without feeling like it may have been shot off? Atreyu took it upon himself to pick out a movie. 

“Can we watch…” the boy clicked his tongue and named out all the new Netflix releases.

In the end, Lexa let him pick. Clarke arrived with plates and the take out boxes.

Clarke warned her son, “Leave some for us, Atreyu.”

“I-”

As much as he would have liked to dive into the chow mein, he practiced self-control. Clarke helped Lexa adjust herself to a sitting position before settling herself to sit on Atreyu’s other side. 

“I love you two. I want you guys to always know that, alright?”

Atreyu shrugged it off with an ‘I love you too’ back as he guzzled down his pasta. Meanwhile Clarke could see something deep in Lexa’s eyes for some reason. She knew that Lexa loved letting them know that she loved them all the time, but the look on her face was making Clarke feel something.

_ Why would she say it like that? _

But Clarke set her feelings aside and returned the loving phrase.

“I love you too.”

Later than night when a sharp pain hit Lexa’s lower back and legs she said it again, and Clarke said it back as she was holding her and trying to figure out what to do.

* * *

 

  
  


**Mid-July, 2041**

  
  


Lexa finally found some ounce of strength in her and got to sorting through her clothes. Atreyu being bored, was reading aloud to her on his back on the bed. Eventually he got bored because the chapter wasn’t flowing, so he looked at the pile of clothes and his mother.

Lexa was looking at the clothing, bringing it up to her body to see if it could fit her now. Everything was a little loose on her. She thought it would be the opposite since she was like a beached whale for the past weeks due to the extent of her pain. Atreyu got an idea into his head.

“Mom, can I see those shorts and that shirt?”

Lexa quirked her brow as she looked at him. He took the articles of clothing and left the room. Lexa mumbled a confused ‘ok’ as she kept sorting through the garments. She was also picking out warm clothes for their road trip. So that category was its own pile on the foot of the bed. 

The older brunette didn’t notice her boy walk into hothead room again until he said, 

“How do I look?”

Lexa was still focused on a blouse.

“Handsome like always.” She said.

“No, I mean now. Look.”

There was an audible smirk in the boy’s voice. Lexa turned around and was completely caught off guard. The boy was in the bathroom posing and looking at himself in his mother’s clothes. The most unsettling thing for Lexa was that it actually fit him. 

“That’s actually not bad.” 

Atreyu smiled at himself, “Can I keep the shorts? They’re a lot more comfortable than the ones from Prime.”

Lexa nodded. She had another pair of black shorts. Half of the clothes she wore were from the men’s section anyway so she didn’t see the harm. 

“Ooh, I wanna try those too!” Atreyu’s eyes got so excitedly loud as he caught sight of it. “Don’t move it.”

Lexa automatically separated some of her men’s (and oversized women’s) clothes into another pile for Atreyu to try out. This way the clothes weren’t going to waste automatically.

* * *

“I think the color of the shirt is a little too off for you. I say ‘no’.” Clarke was sprawled on the couch watching Lexa and Atreyu try out the clothes.

When she arrived from work she wasn’t anticipating for Atreyu to be scurrying into his room with a jean jacket, and saying hi to her from the crack in his door. But she finally got him to get out of his room to see that it fit him well.

“It might look better on Atreyu.” Clarke said.

The dark blue just didn’t quite contrast in the  _ right _ way. Lexa turned and grabbed another shirt before going to the bathroom. 

“Maman, you still have those old-school joggers, right?” Atreyu asked as he picked another shirt to try. 

Clarke chuckled, “Son, they’re not old-school. But yeah, I still have them.”

Clarke made her way to the closet to rummage. Clarke expected to do this with a daughter, but she was just as okay with doing it to her son. Clothes were just pieces of fabric sewn together. They were in no way gendered. 

After some sorting through her athletic clothes (even though she wore them around the house) she found them. They might not fit too tight on Atreyu. They had changed into the last of the pile and Atreyu just had quite a bit more clothes.

“Okay, have you guys picked out what you’re wearing to the trip?” Clarke asked.

Both her wife and son nodded. 

“You?” Lexa asked.

The older brunette sat on the bed as she settled into her socks. Clarke shook her head ‘no’. 

“Try some stuff on. We can judge.”

Clarke chuckled as she sat up.

“Go easy on me.” 

The blonde closed herself into the closet.

“Am I gonna have to leave at some point?”

Lexa was gonna be honest, “Probably.”

Atreyu just went ahead and left the room to avoid anything. When Clarke came out the closet (no pun intended), Lexa had prowling eyes for her. They may have been older but the love for each other was still as strong as it was in the beginning. The blouse hugged Clarke’s form just the right way.

“I’m guessing this looks good.” Clarke chuckled, seeing her wife’s expression. “But is it too sexy?”

“I think it’s okay.”

The blonde shook her head and smiled at how wide Lexa’s eyes were. As if she had never seen her before. Eventually, it was late enough that they had went ahead and assembled their luggage for the trip. By twelve, they were in their bed, cuddling each other. Atreyu (hopefully) asleep. 

“You think Atreyu’s gonna like the trip?”

Clarke nodded, “He’s never really been anywhere other than France, here and LA. I think it’ll be a good teaching moment.”

Lexa nodded. 

* * *

 

“Wow, this is  _ so _ cool!” 

Atreyu ran back and forth through the winnebago checking out the rooms, the kitchen, the tv, the living room. Clarke set their luggage somewhere in the back and sat down at the driver’s seat.

“I get to sleep up there?” Atreyu asked.

“Yeah, son.”

Atreyu did a happy dance at the confirmation. Meanwhile, Lexa had found and blanket and brought it with her as she sat in the passenger seat next to Clarke for the drive. 

“Son, are you sitting down?”

Clarke sure as hell wasn’t gonna start driving if he wasn’t seated somewhere. Eventually the boy settled himself in one of the cushioned seats with his tablet and they were good to move. Lexa even got the radio to turn on. Clarke gave her a little smirk.

“That’s the spirit.”

It was really setting the tone for the road trip.

“First location is… Pennsylvania.”

Lexa and Atreyu cheered for comedic value. The drive to Pennsylvania was fun. 

Clarke enjoyed seeing Lexa and Atreyu enjoy themselves. She enjoyed hearing them scream the lyrics to songs, she enjoyed seeing Lexa snuggled up in her blanket giving her this amorous look that made her look 22 again, she enjoyed sharing a slurpee with Lexa, she enjoyed seeing how Lexa and Atreyu played road trip games, she loved how they both tried to play the silent game but immediately lost because they kept making this ridiculous expression that caused them all to ugly laugh, she loved the way Lexa leaned over and kissed and told her how much she loved her, she loved being able to say it back. There was not a thing she would trade in this life. They stopped at a campsite in Pennsylvania for the night. Since they stopped so late, Atreyu had already fallen asleep. Lexa was the only one awake besides her. They planned on going to one of the small lakes there the next day.

“Want to go to bed?” Clarke asked, noting her wife’s yawn.

Lexa nodded. Clarke was the one who put an arm under hers and helped her get to the master bedroom. 

Lexa never truly admitted why she wanted to take this trip. She felt that if she told Clarke, that the blonde would be slight reluctant. 

_ Lexa felt much closer to death than she did all those years when she first found out of her diagnosis. _

So, she said that she wanted quality time with the two of them, which was in fact true as well. Lexa could see the tiredness in her wife’s eyes so she opened her arms.

“C’mere.”

As much as Clarke didn’t want to cause her pain with her weight, she indulged. Lexa moved blonde strands away from her face and held her wife close.

As if she would never be able to hold her close again.

“Talk to me, Clarke.” Lexa said.

It was a little too quiet for the brunette’s liking.

“What should I talk about?”

“Anything. I just want to hear your voice.”

“Okay, well I enjoyed today even though it was mostly driving. It was fun.” Clarke smiled as she spoke.

It nearly looked a bit cheesy. That scene right there. The way Clarke spoke about how she felt. Lexa just sat and listened and responded to the non-rhetorical questions. That voice was a song all on it’s own. 

Lexa loved this woman.

She loved her.

She loved her.

_ She loved her. _

All the years Lexa knew her, she knew she would never find another like her. She was glad she had a family with Clarke. She was glad she was given the opportunity to wake up next to her every morning. If it was another person, she wasn’t sure if she would be this happy. But in this moment she didn’t worry about another person. 

She was worried about how happy this moment was with her wife.

“Lexa. Lexa?”

The brunette had zoned out in her thoughts for a few seconds. She shook her head and focused back on Clarke.

“Sorry.”

“No you’re fine. Tell me what you were thinking about?” 

Lexa nodded. It was nothing Clarke hadn’t heard before. But every time Lexa talked about that, her heart did this thumping pattern that it only made around Clarke. 

“I love you so much.” 

Clarke noted that Lexa was making that face again.

“Why do you say it like that?”

Lexa furrowed her brows, “Say it how?”

“Like something bad is happening.”

Lexa took a big gulp. 

“Lex, are you okay?”

Clarke sat up a little to look her in the face. Lexa looked so close to crying. Clarke put a gentle hand on her cheek to get her to calm a little bit. 

“Talk to me.”

Lexa gulped, “The pain…”

Clarke realized now that the pain seemed to be worse than last time. She could tell in the way Lexa maneuvered herself. 

“It feels like I’m dying sometimes.”

Clarke sat up all the way and just looked at Lexa.

“You’re not gonna die, babe.”

It seemed like the words were comforting herself more than it was comforting Lexa. This time Lexa’s tears actually fell. The look on Lexa’s face pretty much indicated that she was so serious about this. More serious than Clarke would’ve liked.

“Clarke, you know I would never want to leave you and our boy  _ ever. _ But this feels worse than last time. Atreyu tried to help me get up, and him just helping me out a little hurt like hell. Even peeing hurts, Clarke. Peeing! And it doesn’t even involve my legs! Clarke, you remember that night, that…  _ horrible _ night.”

Lexa was physically shaking. Clarke had never seen her cry like this before except for one time. The blonde brought her into an embrace and held her wife close (not as tight as she would’ve liked to, but she took Lexa’s pain into account), rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“That’s why I wanted to go on this trip.” Lexa sobbed.

“Because you want to forget about the pain?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shook her head ‘no’. She cupped Clarke’s worried face and looked straight into the blue eyes she loved to let herself indulge into. 

She shook it ‘no’ again, “Because I want to have some good times with the two 

of you. Make memories for me and you guys to have.”

Clarke seriously couldn’t believe that Lexa she was gonna die. She would never be able to accept that. To think that one day the two of them would cease to exist, one before the other, it made her skin crawl in a bad way. 

_ “You’re not dying.” _

Again, it felt like the phrase was only slightly helping herself. Lexa still looked disheveled and distraught. 

“But if you want good memories, you can have them, babe. I will give them to you. Okay? Shhh…” 

Clarke rested her wife’s head on her shoulder. If this was what Lexa wanted, she would give it to her without a doubt. 

“You don’t know how much I love you.”

“I love you too, Clarke. I love you and our boy so much.”

The brunette calmed down eventually. She took deep breaths against Clarke. 

“Go to sleep. The lake’s gonna be fun tomorrow.”

Lexa let out a few small hiccups and nodded, hiding her face in the crook of Clarke’s chest. 

_ I want to give her the best memories she can have. _

* * *

 

Atreyu was the first to run into the lake. He laughed and splashed his arms around. Clarke and Lexa were at the shore watching him. The blonde set down a towel and a beach chair for Lexa to sit.

“Is it nice or not?” Clarke was looking at the scenery in front of them. 

It was truly something worth painting someday. 

Lexa nodded. Immediately, Clarke urged her to sit. The brunette was absolutely in love with the sight as well. Seeing her boy running around in the water was something that made her smile.

Clarke leaned over and kissed her lips and held her hand tight. 

“You okay?” 

Lexa nodded.

She had to admit she was vulnerable to her wife last night. More So than she had probably ever been (with her health). She had seriously never been more grateful to have someone as noble as her Clarke. Atreyu swam out a little farther into the water.

“Don’t go too far!”

“But maman, I can swim!”

“You know there are mutant snakes out there, watch out!” Clarke simply warned him.

The boy was just as stubborn as Lexa. Atreyu dove headfirst into the deeper waters. Clarke sighed, slightly annoyed while Lexa was cackling to the side.

“What’s so funny?”

Lexa didn’t respond, rather kept cracking. What was funny was the fact that Clarke and Atreyu were a little more similar that she and Atreyu. The boy had some of her qualities as well, but otherwise, he was 75% Clarke as far as personality, face, and eyes. 

“There isn’t anything on my face, it’s there?”

Lexa shook her head ‘no’ and just let out a wheeze. Clarke was ultra confused, yet equally happy that her wife seemed to be in a better mood. The brunette threw her head back and her face was  _ red. _

Clarke scoffed, “Babe, what’s so funny?”

The blonde wanted to be let into the joke.

“I feel bullied.”

“No one’s bullying you sweetheart.” Lexa kissed her wife’s cheek.

“Maman, come get in!” Atreyu called for her excitedly.

They were the only ones at this lake. Clarke looked at Lexa.

“It’s okay, Clarke. Go on.”

The blonde quirked her brow, a small ‘are-you-sure?’ look. The blonde got up and took off her cover before heading towards the water. The brunette smiled at Clarke’s quick small footsteps. The blonde kept going until the water reached a little over her waist. 

“Yay!”

Lexa snapped a few pictures and held the phone in her lap for a while. She truly hoped that her intuition was a false alarm. That she would live to see their boy graduate. She wanted to grow old with Clarke and not have to worry about death for a while. It was hard not to laugh at the two of them splashing and pushing water towards each other. 

The brunette was sweating profusely and was hot even under the shade. She slowly got up with her cane and walked towards the water.

“Mom!”

Lexa was able to get closer to them. The water was soothing on her skin and sore muscles. 

* * *

 

Atreyu was fast asleep on the bottom bunk, Clarke was driving slowly on the road, and Lexa was sitting on the couch across from her son. 

She was a little surprised to see that the boy was sleepy not awake. Especially with the amount of sugar in that milkshake they had.

Lexa remembered when he was little. She missed him being a cute funny little toddler. Now he was growing up to be a good young man.

She had no doubt that they did their best on raising him. That was one less thing Lexa worried about. 

Clarke smiled every time she glanced at Lexa in the rear view mirror. Clarke hit a bump in the road and the whole Winnebago nearly shot to mars. Atreyu woke up with a ‘hmph’. 

“I am so sorry.” Clarke apologized.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.”

Atreyu was awake now, squinting, a little confused as to why the whole vehicle just shook.

“Mom?”

“It’s okay, just a road bump.” Lexa reassured him. 

Atreyu rubbed his eyes. He sat up and just looked at his mom for a second. 

“Go back to sleep, man.”

Atreyu shook his head ‘no’.  _ It seems like the sugar is kicking in. _ He moved to sit next to her and rested his head on her shoulder. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. I’m a little hungry?”

Lexa chuckled, “But you just ate.”

He laughed as well. Lexa put an arm around his shoulder and ruffled his hair. He gently smiled. 

“I love you.”

“Love you too, mom. Did you sleep?”

The older brunette shook her head ‘no’. 

“Then sleep, it’s like four in the morning.” He insisted. 

“You need to go to sleep too, man.”

Atreyu just shrugged. 

“C’mon, let’s both get some sleep.” Lexa suggested.

The blonde watched the little scene occasionally through the rear view mirror. It completely melted her heart seeing the two brunettes shoulder to shoulder, getting some shut eye. When they got to a decent rest stop she would join them. 

She turned on some quiet music and kept driving for the next forty minutes. 

When they stopped, she kissed the tops of their heads before grabbing a blanket, laying it across them, and sat with them. 

The two of them were fast asleep. The blonde watched over them for a bit as she was consumed by sleep as well. 

* * *

 

That morning, Clarke and Atreyu woke up to the tasty smell of breakfast.

Lexa was happy to do this for them.

“Wow, babe.”

“I know, I know. I really outdid myself.” Lexa pretended to fan herself.

“You really did.” Clarke kissed her cheek. “Need help with anything?”

“No, it’s fine, sweetheart. Sit. Is Atreyu awake yet?” Lexa moved the plates to the table. 

Clarke sat down and smiled at breakfast, “Yeah, he’s in the restroom.”

“What do you want to do today?” Lexa asked as she sat in front of Clarke and rested her head on her hands.

The blonde shrugged, “You’re not in a lot of pain today?”

Lexa proudly shook her head ‘no’. Atreyu soon joined them at the table, lazily rubbing his eyes.

_ “Morning.” _

“What do you want to do today, Atreyu?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked the chapter leave a kudo and comment. 
> 
> READ THIS!!! 
> 
> If you follow my Tumblr, you are probably aware of the announcement/post I made regarding posting schedule. 
> 
> For those not on there, basically, I am posting the last chapters altogether. They will be out in no later than two weeks (hopefully).


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of the end.  
> I can’t believe I’m saying this, but please don’t hate me.

  
  


**October, 2027**

  
  


_ They were so tiny. Just a baby.  _

_ Lexa was curled up on her side in their bed. Clarke was in the bathroom sobbing. Lexa figures it out after a while. She never understood how the death of someone she never got to physically meet was so hard until now. They spent time not being able to fathom the fact that their firstborn was going to be born soon.  _

_ Now they couldn’t believe that. They outlived their own child.  _

_ Lexa couldn’t really fathom how much she needed her wife in this moment. She turned her body to face the bathroom door, so when Clarke got out she would be there and available. _

_ About forty minutes passed before the door started to open. Lexa sat up, letting her feet dangle off the edge of the bed.  _

_ “Clarke.” Lexa said it gently. _

_ Clarke looked up at her with red eyes. Slowly, the blonde joined her on the bed. _

_ “You don’t have to…” Lexa was crying again. “hide from me if you need to cry. I’m here.” _

_ Clarke nodded. The blonde had cried her tear ducts to emptiness. They were silent for a moment.  _

_ “Lexa, I hate death. I hate it so much! It takes people away and you can never bring them back no matter what you try!” _

_ As her wife, the brunette held her in a tight embrace. Not wanting to ever let go if she could help it. She needed her wife with her forever. She could never imagine it if was one of them instead of the baby. It sure as hell would’ve been a lot worse in Lexa’s opinion.  _

_ A life without Clarke was one she didn’t want to even consider, much less dwell on.  _

_ The blonde’s heavy sobs shook both their bodies. Lexa’s resolve fell and she began to sob like she only had a few times before. She felt safe to pour out all her pain with her wife.  _

_ “I know, Clarke. I hate death too.” _

* * *

 

  
  


**Late-July, 2041**

  
  


With every cough that passed her throat, she felt weak. She took NyQuil to see if herher body could take a break for the night, but her breathing had Clarke wide awake. The blonde couldn’t sleep with her wife wheezing and coughing in her sleep. Clarke patted her back gently to help her chest clear out a little better. For a while, Lexa was a little quiet. 

Clarke, still wide awake just grabbed her phone and scrolled about instagram. All their family members had basically bombarded the comment section of their photos with comments. Atreyu posing on the top of a mountain was monumental for some reason. At around 4:30am when Clarke began to feel a little tired, Lexa shot up into a sitting position in bed. Clarke paused with wide eyes. 

“Babe are you okay?”

Lexa looked forward like she was choking on something, yet she was heaving, her hands drew to her chest. 

“Lexa?”

The brunette just shook her head ‘no’. The blonde moved to help her in any way she possibly could. Lexa jumped off the bed, and ran right out of the Winnebago. It clicked to Clarke that something was wrong. Not only did Lexa look worse than she did hours prior, but she was moving more frantically, even though it hurt her legs to run. 

Clarke still had her phone in her hand as she followed her. 

“Babe!”

Clarke fell to her knees to try to help Lexa up. The way she was breathing so harshly was unsettling. 

“Fuck, hold on!” Clarke clumsily maneuvered her phone to dial 911. 

Lexa hung into her like a lifeline, tears falling down her cheeks. 

“Clarke, I love you.”

She said it in  _ that way. _ When the operator responded, Lexa lost strength in her legs and fell again. 

“Baby, I can’t stand!” Lexa sobbed.

It tore at Clarke in an unimaginable way.

_ “Ma’am, the first responders will be there shortly. Stay with me and let me know if her condition changes if at all.” _

All Clarke could muster was an ‘ok’ as she made sure that her wife was still with her. 

“I love you.” Lexa choked out.

As much as Clarke was shredding and tearing on the inside seeing her wife like this she responded, “I love you too. You’re gonna be okay.”

* * *

 

“I’m so sorry, Clarke. I really am, sweetheart.” Lexa said with wavering breaths.

Clarke shook her head and shushed her, bringing her hand up to caress the side of Lexa’s face ever so gently. 

The brunette had never felt so guilty. Sure, she had no idea that her ‘cold’ was really just progressing pneumonia, but she felt guilty. Clarke was awake with her  _ all _ night even after getting no sleep for who knew how long.

Atreyu couldn’t really bare to see her in the room like that. He may have been older than five, but seeing his mother look so frail was much scarier than anything else he had ever encountered in his life. On occasion he would get up from the hospital futon behind his mother’s bed, and he would hold her hand and talked to her. He talked to her about whatever, but he wanted to maintain some normalcy. His mother was still in there. 

As soon as he figured out why they were in the hospital, he was the one to call their family. It was out of nature, whenever something big happened, he would talk to whoever was available. 

Lexa looked at Clarke’s tired face. She didn’t have much medical knowledge, but she knew that so many days of not sleeping could possibly make her pass out. 

“Sleep.”

“I’m not tired.” Clarke insisted, rubbing as much sleep out her eyes as possible. 

She was more concerned about her wife than her own sleep schedule. 

Lexa could see right through her, and she  _ knew _ that.

Since Clarke was sitting in a chair flush to the hospital bed, the blonde moved her head to rest against her stomach. 

“Sleep, sweetheart, it’s the least you can do for yourself.” Lexa ran her fingers through blonde hair.

The blonde fell asleep instantly. Lexa took in her features. 

It was as if Clarke was exempt from aging for a bit. She still looked just as young as she did when they met. As much as Lexa didn’t agree, she was slowly aging as well. Atreyu got a little closer to hear the tv. Lexa looked at him with a small smile. The boy returned that same big smile.

“Do you want to watch this, or do I change it?”

“That’s okay, man.” Lexa insisted. “Did you get sleep?”

Atreyu hummed a ‘yes’. He sat at the foot of the bed, crossing his legs, watching what was on the tv. 

“C’mere, Atreyu.”

The boy laid down on Lexa’s other side and watched the show with her.

* * *

 

  
  


**July 31, 2041**

  
  


Somehow. Someway. Lexa got worse. It hurt Clarke to see her wife like this and not have the ability to help her. The brunette drew air to her body in large gasps which ended up in her getting a tube to help her circulate the air through her body. 

Lexa was the one who suggested that Atreyu go home. They sent him back with Gaia and Jasper. The boy protested and cried, wanting to stay close to Lexa, but in the end, Lexa didn’t want him to have to see this. They pretty much cried afterwards for a bit, but facetimed him on hours a day.

For most of the day, Lexa was asleep. 

Clarke stood up all day and night to make sure she was okay. After a while, the blonde slunk back into the chair and fell asleep. 

Suddenly, the machine keeping track of Lexa’s heart rate went off. Clarke woke up in an instant.

“Lexa? Fuck!”

Clarke called for any nearby doctor or nurse. They flooded into the room, moving Clarke out the way. The blonde’s pulse was racing as she was crying hysterically. Everything was happening so fast. 

“Is she gonna be okay?” Clarke sobbed. 

She was getting worried as everything was happening. She wouldn’t accept Lexa dying. She wouldn’t.

“We’ll do our best, Ma’am.”

There were tons of doctors. An uncountable amount and Clarke didn’t know what to do. She wished this was a horrible dream and she would wake up and Lexa would be okay. The thing that confirmed this wasn’t a dream was the blaring flatline sound.

“No. No!”

Machines began to be wheeled in, Clarke pushed even more to the side. The blonde bunched up the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe her tears even though they kept going. The doctors kept attempting to revive her wife as best they could. Clarke managed to see the disturbing scene through the door mirror. Seeing her wife go pale made her more upset by the minute.

“Lexa!” Clarke sobbed out. “Oh god, no!”

One of the nurses walked out the room with a solemn look on her face.ace.

“Ma’am, we are so sorry.”

Clarke sobbed and shook her head.  _ She was not going to accept this. _ The blonde looked at the woman in the eyes.

“Can’t you keep trying?” Clarke asked hysterically as she was seeing the doctors unhook machines.

“Miss-- she’s dead. I’m so sorry for your loss. You can have a few moments with her before we take her…”

Clarke’s lips quivered. She just nodded. She was nervous to go into the room. The nurse gave her a look as she put her hand on the shoulder. That was all it took.

She was getting at least this moment. Even if Lexa was gone, she wanted to say some sort of goodbye. It may not give her full closure, but she knew she had to do it. Clarke slowly went into the room. The doctors cleared what they could swiftly and quietly. 

Her tears got worse when she saw Lexa like that with her mouth slightly open and her eyes staring out. 

“Oh my god.” Clarke put a hand over her mouth.

She didn’t understand how they couldn’t save her. It was 2041 she found it hard to understand why and how they couldn’t save her. Clarke closed her eyes and sat down next to her. Her tears didn’t stop. 

She regretted falling asleep. If she was awake maybe Lexa would be breathing how.

“Lexa, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you and I'm gonna miss you.” 

Clarke wiped her eyes. She couldn’t believe this. She could feel a small part of her decaying and dying with Lexa. 

She lost the woman she fell in love with, the woman she was spending her life with, the woman she decided to start a family with, the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, the woman who didn’t deserve to be dead.

_ Dead. _

Clarke wasn’t over it.

“In peace may you leave the shore,

In love may you find the next,

Safe passage on your travels,

Until our final journey to the ground…”

* * *

 

Telling their family was devastating. Telling their son was just  _ horrible.  _

“No! Mom  _ can’t _ be dead!”

The boy's face was beet red with emotions. Clarke was sobbing as well. 

“I know, I’m sad about it as well.” Clarke said.

The boy burrowed into his mother’s arms and cried. He understood the concept of death. He read about in books, saw it on tv, heard about it. However, knowing that it hit this close to home made him all the more upset. 

“What’s going to happen now?”

“Shh, we can work through this together, son.”

Atreyu didn’t say anything else. He just cried into her shoulder. It broke Clarke as well to say something like this to her boy. Clarke had come back home, given the RV back to the garage, and gotten her son back from their friend’s house. She took the time to grieve with her son. 

The boy may have been ‘way too old to be crying’ but he was so upset. He knew Lexa all his life and to have her suddenly stripped away was something out of his comfort zone. Clarke finally managed to get him to take a few sips from a nearby glass of water. The boy quieted down and stayed in her arms.

“Maman, was it bad?”

Clarke didn’t know how to answer that. She thought going into detail about it would be too much for him. It was only imaginable that suffocating wasn’t a good way to cross to the other side. 

“I’m not sure, son.”

He sniffled and looked up at her.

“Can I stay with Aunt Gaia and Uncle Jasper?” He asked.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be around his mom around these times. He just couldn’t be in that house without both mothers. Not even in his own room. 

“Just for a little?”

Clarke nodded silently.

* * *

 

_ The last thing Lexa heard was violent beeping. She didn’t understand what was going on. Sure, her breathing was off but… _

_ Wait. _

_ No.  _

_ Lexa looked around but she saw nothing but blank black space and sound fading out. _

_ Lastly was her last exhale.  _

_ This wasn’t it. This couldn’t be it. Lexa saw the cliché white light and squinted as it just got brighter and brighter and brighter.  _

_ She was confused. More than confused. Slowly, her sight began to come back to her. She didn’t know what this place was. Something deep in her intuition told her than this wasn’t earth anymore.  _

_ Something inside her just made her figure out that she had died. She was sad. But not sad. It was like she was okay. She was thinking about Clarke, their boy, and their friends and family.  _

_ What do they think?  _

_ A small body hit the back of her legs. _

_ “Sorry.” _

_ The voice was one of a young child. Probably about Atreyu’s age she noted. Lexa turned around (not feeling the weight of her condition or the hindrance of pneumonia on her body). This little girl looked to be around Atreyu’s age (a year or two older at most).  _

_ “Hi!” _

_ She looked nearly identical to Atreyu save for the green eyes and longer locks. Lexa squinted trying to understand why this girl seemed to be the only one here with her. (Whatever ‘here’ was).  _

_ This girl was giving her a look. Like she recognized her from somewhere but she was trying to pinpoint. Instead, she flew into Lexa’s arms and hugged her tightly.  _

_ “I was waiting so long to hug you, mom!” _

_ It took a little too long for Lexa to process.  _

_ This was Angel. The baby they lost before Atreyu was born. The baby who was too young to be taken. The baby that they had to send off before they knew her gender. The baby who would’ve been named Margo had she had been born.  _

_ Lexa used her newfound strength and enveloped the girl into a big hug. Swept her right off her feet.  _

_ “I’m sorry you died.” Angel said softly. _

_ Lexa was dry with response. What was she supposed to say, ‘It’s okay’? Lexa instead put both hands on her daughter’s shoulder and had a look at her. _

_ “So is my name Margo, now that you know, or still Angel? Either way I’m okay.” _

_ Lexa chuckled. The girl was definitely talkative. _

_ “Whatever you like better.” _

_ “I want Margo since that what you guys wanted. How’s mama and little brother?” _

_ Lexa went speechless again.  _

_ “It’s okay, we can check on them!” Margo pulled Lexa into the distance. _


	39. Chapter 39

 

 

**August, 2041**

  
  


Everyone else left the ceremony. Clarke and Atreyu and Anastasia were huddled against each other. It wasn’t cold, but it soothed the chill in their chests. After a while, Alexander finally got them to move from Lexa’s resting place. 

Atreyu was in his room glued to his tablet. Clarke was downstairs with Anya figuring out some lunch. The day was nothing more than silent. 

“Go with Atreyu, I’ll make lunch.” Anya said.

Clarke shook with sadness with every move. It was the least she felt she could do. 

“You sure?” Clarke asked as she wiped her hands off with a rag. 

Anya nodded, “Go on.”

Clarke headed up the steps and stood at the door of Atreyu’s room. There was soft familiar music playing from his tablet. Atreyu wiped his eyes as he saw the video. 

“Maman…” his bottom lip curved in. 

Clarke sat on the bed next to him. He rested his head on her shoulder. He was watching YouTube videos of Lexa’s live performances of her bouncing on stage so full of life, putting her all into the music.

“I liked this song the most.”

Clarke wiped his tears and nodded. He looked up at his mother.

“Which one was your favorite?”

Clarke thought for a second. Like she would always say to Lexa, she didn’t have a sole favorite. She liked all of them. 

One that stood out from the others to Clarke probably had to be, “Blue Kaleidoscope.”

“Really?”

Clarke nodded, “She was always happy and smiling when she sang it.”

* * *

 

  
  


**April, 2063**

  
  


“Good night, Blythe.”

Clarke kissed the top of the girl’s head and unfolded her princess blanket so she could snuggle in it.

“Night, ama.”

Clarke got up with a small crick in her back. Little Kara was already fast asleep in her toddler bed, unruly dark blonde curls splayed about her pillow. Clarke tucked her in before leaving the room, headed towards hers. 

She wished Lexa was with her. Everyday she missed her wife like air. She wished that Lexa was here to raise their granddaughters with her, to watch them laugh to hang out with them. She wished that she would’ve gotten to see how good of a father Atreyu was and what a good wife he found. 

Clarke sat on the edge of the bed to kick off her slippers gently.

She wished that Lexa could’ve seen how similar little Blythe Alexandria was to her. The girl was naturally able to pick up some notes on the piano. However in the beginning of next month she would start lessons with a teacher. There was so much Lexa in that little four-year-old. Much except for long dark blonde hair, and an odd white strip of hair that lacked pigment, and eye color.

Everyone also acknowledged how sweet little Kara Elizabeth was. That two-and-a-half-year-old was the sweetest and smiliest ever. Atreyu insisted that he saw much of his wife in his youngest daughter’s character, but she had definitely inherited blue eyes of Clarke’s shade alongside her sister.

Clarke just wished that Lexa was able to see this. 

The blonde found herself staring at the picture of Lexa. It was a year before her death when Clarke simply saw her giving her the dopiest love struck smile, so she took out her phone and snapped it to have forever. The girls loved that picture of her as well. The blonde pulled up her blanket and sighed. 

“I miss you.”

After Lexa’s passing, Clarke cried herself to sleep every night. It was involuntarily. It took nearly a year and a half before she could lay eyes on the picture without crying. It was never easy to go about her day without Lexa there for the first few years. 

Eventually Clarke closed her eyes. 

* * *

 

“Ama! Ama! Your phone is ringing! I can’t reach!” 

It was Blythe’s voice calling from down the hall. Clarke woke up and squinted.

“Ama.”

“I’m coming, honey, did you sleep good?” Clarke asked. 

Blythe nodded. Clarke made a note that Atreyu was going to take the girls back home a little before lunch. Clarke got to her phone but there were several voicemails left from Madi. The blonde made a quick effort to call her back.

“Hey, Mads is everything o--“

_ “Clarke, Clarke you have to listen. You and Atreyu need to come to my office ASAP.” _ Madi’s voice was frantic and shaking.

“Okay, um, what’s going on?” Clarke asked.

Blythe passed by on her way to the living room.

_ “You need to be here. Bring Atreyu as well. Oh my god--” _

_ “Hey, um, Clarke?” _ It was (Madi’s husband) Henry’s voice.  _ “Yeah, um you need to be here by 5, please.” _

“Okay?”

Clarke was a little confused. The phone hung up. 

“I’ll get started on breakfast in a second, sweetie, hold on.” Clarke said as she checked on Kara quickly.

“Okay.” Blythe said, too focused on the tv to fully be aware.

Kara was still asleep in her bed, snoring away.

 

**Clarke: is Brie coming with you to pick up the girls?**

 

**Atreyu: yes why?**

 

**Clarke: your aunt Madi needs us over at her place for some reason. I can drive us and drop you off at home.**

 

**Atreyu: Okay. See you then, ma.**

* * *

 

Clarke finally got the girls at the table eating scrambled eggs, chocolate milk and their fruit of choice.

“Remember, close your mouth when you chew.” Clarke reminded Blythe.

The girl closed her mouth. The girls were like their father as well. Clarke sometimes wondered if it was Atreyu, Kara took after.

“Ama, more.” The little girl held out her banana peel.

“How do you ask?” Clarke quirked her brow.

Kara made that look like she forgot something. Blythe whispered in her ear.

“Pease.”

Clarke gave her another banana. 

* * *

 

“Oh, Clarke and Atreyu. Go on up, she’s been expecting you.”

The woman the front desk smiled as they moved past towards the elevators.

“What do you think it is?” 

Atreyu looked out onto the busy streets through the elevator glass. He had grown to be 5’9, with sharper features (no beard at the moment), and used all his built in words from all the years of grieving to his advantage.

“I’m not sure, son.”

Clarke had to admit that when Atreyu hit his growth spurt in highschool, she was a little intimidated (only due to his height). The elevator arrived to the floor. As soon as they stepped foot out of the elevator, Madi grabbed ahold of their hands. She had a maniacal look on her face. Like she was awake for a couple of days (possibly). 

“You need-- you need to see.”

“Madi, words, please.” Clarke said as Madi dragged her deeper into her lab.

Everything was cluttered. Her husband Henry was behind the glass, pacing. It was so so chaotic.

“Henry, what’s going on?” Clarke asked. 

“Don’t say a word, babe!” Madi scrambled.

“Ma?” Atreyu asked.

Both of them were a little apprehensive. 

“Stay there!”

Madi ran up to her control room behind the glass. Atreyu furrowed his brows. He was confused. Did his aunt see nuclear activity from overseas? Did she see possible signs of apocalypse? 

He was confused. 

Then there was a zap sound that nearly sent the two of them back, then,

“Lexa?”

If the zap of the hologram didn’t make Clarke drop to her knees, the person it displayed did.

“I used several pictures. Some of her height info as well.” Madi said. “And for her voice, interviews, videos, some non personal voicemails.”

“It can talk? I mean she?”

Madi nodded while crying from the other side of the glass.

“Talk to her.”

Clarke was dumbfounded. She seriously could not believe this. The hologram was just like her wife. The way Lexa slightly sulked her shoulders, the way she smirked. Clarke clasped her hands over her mouth. 

“Um, hi.”

_ “Hi, Clarke.” _

The voice hardly sounded robotic at all. Atreyu mumbled something in disbelief under his breath. Possibly something along the lines of ‘oh my god’. Madi did something with controls before joining the two of them.

“How are you, Lexa?”

_ “Good, sweetheart.” _

That was enough to make Clarke burst into tears. 


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the official last chapter

 

 

**November, 2063**

  
  


Clarke left the turkey slowly cooking at home at a lower temperature. She wanted to make some to visit her wife. Blythe had begged to join her.

“Which one is hers, Ama?” 

The girl held her grandma's hand tight.

“That one.” Clarke pointed out.

Blythe decided to carry a bouquet of flowers in her other hand. The younger blonde smiled when she got to the spot first.

“Uh oh, Ama look!” Blythe pointed at the graffiti all over the headstone.

When Clarke got there to see for herself, she frowned. Why couldn’t people just keep to themselves? The blonde took off her cardigan and wet it. A little with some water. She was doing this for Lexa.

Blythe was excitedly sitting next to the headstone, running her fingers over the engraved name, “Can I talk to her first?”

Clarke nodded. 

“Hi, nan. We’re goin’ to thanksgiving dinner later but we’re talking to you. Do you have any food? Are you gonna be there with us? Ama says that Kara and I get a cake just for us two!”

It melted and tugged Clarke’s heart to see how Blythe talked to her as if Lexa was still breathing and conscious. The hurtful part was knowing that it was the opposite. 

* * *

 

“Ama?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

Clarke had Blythe for the day while Kara was with Atreyu and his wife. Blythe was in the backseat eating a small snack.

“What was thanksgiving like with Lexa?” Blythe asked.

She loudly crunched. 

Clarke looked at her through the rearview mirror, “Great. Me and her would be in the kitchen for hours. And your daddy would eat most of the food.”

Blythe giggled. She was imagining it all in her head.

“What do you think she would be like now?” Blythe asked before crunching loudly. 

The blonde was hit with that question. Sure, she wondered that as well. Often. But Clarke didn’t dwell on that, because thinking about it too much almost always resulted in tears.

The car was quiet for quite a while. A part of Blythe thought that maybe she overstepped somehow. 

“Sorry, Ama.”

“No, you’re okay, hon.” Clarke reassured her granddaughter. “I imagine she would maybe look like… um…”

Blythe balled up the chip bag. Her appetite wanted dinner already. 

“I picture that she would be a little wrinkled. Maybe she would’ve taught you piano herself. And maybe she would’ve helped make the turkey.”

The little girl in the backseat. From what Clarke told and was telling her, her grandma was a force to be reckoned with. And that was one of the things she was thankful for. 

“You miss her a lot, don’t you?”

“Yeah, hon, you don't even know how much.”

“I bet I do. I’m smart.”

* * *

 

  
  


**2092**

  
  


It was Clarke’s turn eventually age caught up to her. She dealt with it well, but being alive for 97 years was tiring. Clarke insisted she needed rest.  _ Rest _ rest. 

Clarke spent her time thinking and thinking about the afterlife. Thinking that if it  _ did _ exist, was Lexa there? 

She never forgot her wife’s face even though she was much older and had a slower memory. But Lexa’s eyes and constant smiles were always on her mind. It kept her occupied. 

The blonde chose the stay at home for whatever remained of her life. She felt more comfortable.

She held one of Lexa’s photographs in her hands as gently as she could. All the children in the family had grown. They didn’t exactly need her much when it came to raising. Blythe and Kara grew up to be good human-beings and had their own lives in the world. Blythe called more often than Kara, but it was fine. 

Clarke understood and accepted. 

“My beautiful wife.” Clarke went over Lexa’s face with her thumb.

Her beautiful, smiling face. Clarke missed her wife so damn much. 

 

Clarke had her usual glass of milk before bed, made her good-night phone calls, and read for a bit. 

As usual, she tired herself out. She rested her head on the soft pillow.

_ “Klark.”  _

_ The blonde squinted at the bright light in her face. Then she noticed the life. _

_ “Sweetheart.” _

_ Finally, Clarke regained her sight. And she saw her. Lexa. _

_ Clarke smiled and the first tears fell.  _

_ “Baby.”  _

_ Clarke hugged her tightly. As much as she was worried about Lexa’s pain, Clarke let it all slip out the window as she hugged her. Her wife wrapped strong arms around her shoulders. _

_ “Hi. I missed you, babygirl.” _

_ “Me too.”  _

_ Clarke sobbed in happiness. The clutch she had on her wife was tight. _

_ “Oh, sorry.” Clarke loosened her grip. _

_ “No, you're okay baby. I’m healthy here. No sickness, no pain.” Lexa said with a smile.  _

_ Clarke noticed a girl behind Lexa. _

_ “Oh, um, you saw Angel.” Lexa motioned for her daughter to come closer.  _

_ The name began to come back to her. Clarke smiled and received two. _

_ Eventually they closed the gap with a strong hug. Clarke took in all of her unborn daughter’s features. Angel smiled wide at Lexa. The older brunette had basically bragged about Clarke for decades.  _

_ “We’re together now!” The girl said excitedly. _

_ And Clarke agreed with that. She was just happy to rest with her wife and daughter for now and forever. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to take some time out to say: whether you enjoyed the ending or not, I would like to say thank you for sticking with me during the ups and downs and cliffhangers of this story. There were many times where I doubted myself when writing chapters, or when I even considered to leave it unfinished, but it was you guys who led me to complete it. This story could seriously have not been finished without you support. 
> 
> Signing off on this story, Fleimkipa


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